THINK YOU KNOW ABUJA? PART ONE

In Abuja, everywhere from the city gate and Charly Boy hill is referred to as town. Other places are called by their bland indigenous names that end with /ae/, /u/ or /e/ vowels. Dawn for many in Abuja breaks at Garki and dusk settles at the many satellites towns dotting the landscape. Nyanya is the self-dignified watchman who is obviously an outcast. It is crowded with families, as booze and indigence commandeer its affairs in a manner the trickster wields his magic wand. Yet, it frequently consoles itself as belonging to nobility by extension. What drives it going is the self-induced hope that it is eligible to a portion of royalty. Karu is a confused offspring with conflicting attributes. While it obviously passes off as naughty and roguish, it likes to portray itself as civilized, composed and informed. It bemoans its close cousin Nyanya but believes its proximity to the spot of clout rubs off on it demeanor.

Maitama, Asokoro and Aso Drive are triplets. Living for the triplets is strictly by invitation. Here the rich pretend to pray. Nobility adorns Maitama. It prides itself as the intersection of wealth and affluence and looks up to the palm beaches of Miami, with boulevards scattered all around. Subtlety is its watchword but its swiftness and agility rivals the squirrel. Schools in Maitama have uniforms that look more splendid than the national flag of some countries. Asokoro is steady and tranquil but colorful with all shades of foreign currencies. Champagne stains the marble floors in Asokoro and its architecture is inspired by the masterpieces of medieval European kingdoms. Sprawling beautiful perimeters with fewer beings dot the landscape. It is the rest place of money-spinning executives and frequent globe trotters; an exclusive preserve with marks of opulence carved out from the savannah. Aso Drive is always on an ego trip. Here, neighbours could be strangers. The love-life of these triplets is spurred by wine and spirits but moulded by the naira.

Sex, night life and deceit are on Wuse, and public administration occupies Garki. Jabi is chic and serene. It likes to accommodate lovers, heartbreakers and flirters. Kado is its step-sister. The somewhat neatly arranged shelters in Kado give her a feeling of Jabi but the reality is pitiable as that of Karu with Gwagwa Karimo close by.

Kubwa is an enclave of civil servants, many worn out from service to the centre; and Lugbe is its bastard cousin. It proximity to the airport suffices. Every grand event is Wuse, Jabi or the triplets. True love resides in the satellites towns and Area councils. Such love is oiled by lofty words and predicated on phantasmagoria.