DBestDoc:

Hahaha. e-hugs my dear.

e hugs to u too sis. it is well Abeg..

semyman:
Counselors without any certification everywhere

lol abi o, words are so easy to type ehn

" Dont help women, cause they most likely won't help you "

Haven't you heard of MGTOW.

I cut myself off from people like this, she has no such right to ask you for money. Is she not an adult, why can't she work?

Help your friend not his wife. I want to assure you, if this situation last for longer she would opt for divorce or hook up with a man with better offer. Then you would ask yourself where has all the assistance you gave gone,

These women ain't loyal. They all loyal until....p[color=#990000][/color]

Discuss it with your wife but she should also know you are a family man and you have needs to settle.

That's one problem with people every where you go.

Once you start helping them, you have started.

No going back.

The worst is that once you stop, they will forget all the good deeds you've done for them.

Me, I can't deal o!

E no dey be say e no dey

I cannor come and kii myself for people wey no go even appreciate the efforts.

Let your friend make the demands not her.

negbike:


Very stupid comment. My take is help them if you can but through her husband. This isn't proper.

did we all see things from different views...That you have your own view doesn't make mine stupid....We have different lives and live differently. So next time don't you ever quote me as such I wouldn't take it lightly.

alimaa:
I have a very close friend who has been like a brother to me right from our days in the university, we also worship in the same church, he was my best man when I wedded a few years ago. He got married this year and after the wedding things were not rosy for them the following month and I gave my little assistance as a friend. Around July this year his sister had a life threatening ailment and when he reached out to me I quickly responded with something meaningful. After some weeks his wife told me she was sick when we met in church, I quickly went to an ATM, made withdrawal and gave her money to buy drugs since her husband who happens to be my friend was not in town.

The irony of the whole thing now is
that my friend's wife now thinks that I am Father Christmas and now calls and sends texts requesting for money to take care of her antenatal drugs but I have refused to help because I believe it is wrong and she keeps pestering me.

Please what is your advice?

Pls choose between being a giver or a borrower and God will honor your request accordingly.

Always give out when you have. God will keep blessing you.

HarunaWest:

See it as charity...the husband doesn't have to no...abi u wan chop the thank you from him

This is very wrong!! assuming she just asked once it's ok, but when she is constantly asking, he has to liase with his bro to know what's up.

How would you feel if your bro keeps giving money to ur wife behind ur back

negbike:


Another DUMB comment. The issue is that she is MARRIED and going behind her husband's back. That's wrong.

So, Mr clever, as a married woman, advice her on what to do when the husband does not meet up abeg? Since you know how to judge ....Chiefo....

Before yhu do anything tell her your friend will see her that she shouldn't worry. Send the money to your friend, just for him to aware.

Should I send my account details? Birthday in a bit.

alimaa:
I have a very close friend who has been like a brother to me right from our days in the university, we also worship in the same church, he was my best man when I wedded a few years ago. He got married this year and after the wedding things were not rosy for them the following month and I gave my little assistance as a friend. Around July this year his sister had a life threatening ailment and when he reached out to me I quickly responded with something meaningful. After some weeks his wife told me she was sick when we met in church, I quickly went to an ATM, made withdrawal and gave her money to buy drugs since her husband who happens to be my friend was not in town.

The irony of the whole thing now is
that my friend's wife now thinks that I am Father Christmas and now calls and sends texts requesting for money to take care of her antenatal drugs but I have refused to help because I believe it is wrong and she keeps pestering me.

Please what is your advice?

They probably went broke cos they had a very lavish wedding

alimaa:
I have a very close friend who has been like a brother to me right from our days in the university, we also worship in the same church, he was my best man when I wedded a few years ago. He got married this year and after the wedding things were not rosy for them the following month and I gave my little assistance as a friend. Around July this year his sister had a life threatening ailment and when he reached out to me I quickly responded with something meaningful. After some weeks his wife told me she was sick when we met in church, I quickly went to an ATM, made withdrawal and gave her money to buy drugs since her husband who happens to be my friend was not in town.

The irony of the whole thing now is
that my friend's wife now thinks that I am Father Christmas and now calls and sends texts requesting for money to take care of her antenatal drugs but I have refused to help because I believe it is wrong and she keeps pestering me.

Please what is your advice?

like I. would have advised make sure your friends know about this before helping her or better still send it through her husband since you said she is struggling.
But the woman sha, is she not shy sending text messages to you like her breadwinner .
I hope she is not want I am thinking.

Try asking her to talk to your wife. It's safer to have your wife involved. My 2 kobo

The wrong thing you did was to give her money, from the very beginning you should have been giving the money to your friend and never let his wife even know you are the one. That act can make your friend loose control of his house because his wife will feel that after all he is not the one taking care of the bills and don't be suprised if she starts making advances towards you even with her pregnancy.

You must understand that at any slightest provocation the wife can use that to insult him. It takes a very understanding woman to still respect and love her husband knowing fully well that he is not the one taking care of the bills, the fact that she calls and texts you without the husband's consent says it all. You are good man and friends like you are hard to come by, please don't stop helping them but let it be through your friend.

MarianaTrench:
They probably went broke cos they had a very lavish wedding

were you there on their wedding day. what if some pple went home without food on that day

Withdraw your assistance fast before the woman land you into trouble..there are things you must never tolerate ,never allow anybody to turn privilege to right doing so makes you a fool . When your friend needs your help do so but never encourage his wife to solicit help from you.

MarianaTrench:
They probably went broke cos they had a very lavish wedding

They probably went broke cos they had a very lavish wedding[/quote]were you there on their wedding day. what if some pple went home without food on that day

alimaa:
You are wrong, you don't know me neither do you know them.

You think?
Friends - University - Best man/Wedding - Got Married x month ago - Sibling had an accident - Husband/Friend not in town - Wife antenatal (pregnant) - Same church... Very funny!
Have you ever played puzzle game at all?

alimaa:
I have a very close friend who has been like a brother to me right from our days in the university, we also worship in the same church, he was my best man when I wedded a few years ago. He got married this year and after the wedding things were not rosy for them the following month and I gave my little assistance as a friend. Around July this year his sister had a life threatening ailment and when he reached out to me I quickly responded with something meaningful. After some weeks his wife told me she was sick when we met in church, I quickly went to an ATM, made withdrawal and gave her money to buy drugs since her husband who happens to be my friend was not in town.

The irony of the whole thing now is
that my friend's wife now thinks that I am Father Christmas and now calls and sends texts requesting for money to take care of her antenatal drugs but I have refused to help because I believe it is wrong and she keeps pestering me.

Please what is your advice?

She is not your responsibilty and it is wrong for her to be pastering and requesting money from you simply because you helped before. She has a husband and it is wrong for her to be doing this behind her husband.

If you don't want to be accused of sleeping with your friend's wife, then stop giving her money! Even if you want to help (which I don't recommend), make sure her husband knows.

It is ok to say no..

Not until i saw the answers, i didnt know the question was this simple

alimaa:

The irony of the whole thing now is
that my friend's wife now thinks that I am Father Christmas and now calls and sends texts requesting for money to take care of her antenatal drugs but I have refused to help because I believe it is wrong and she keeps pestering me.

Please what is your advice?

When d husband inevitably sees these texts and call logs on her phone, what do u think will run thru his mind?
1.
He may think u are having an affair with his wife hence the "secrecy" in exchange of money from u. Its a no brainer that most men usually will demand something in return for the "help" they render to women. Put urself in his shoes: If u find out your best friend has been financing ur wife behind ur back will u let it slide?

2.
If his imagination paints a fling scenario btw the two of u, he may even begin to doubt the paternity of his wife's pregnancy.
3.
It is pretty obvious that d woman, due to her immaturity, doesn't respect herself/her marriage. An adulterer of a man can easily use this opportunity to have sex with her EASILY! In short: she nor get sense. Do not be the 2nd foool. Once the husband begins to suspect u of having an affair with his wife, ur friendship is as good as gone as things will never remain d same.
4.
Its all shade of wrong.

rinzylee:
Try asking her to talk to your wife. It's safer to have your wife involved. My 2 kobo

This is a very safe alternative.....
Either ur wife/fiance or ur sister doing the giving is near perfect, as it will be seen as "transactions" between two women.

alimaa:
I have a very close friend who has been like a brother to me right from our days in the university, we also worship in the same church, he was my best man when I wedded a few years ago. He got married this year and after the wedding things were not rosy for them the following month and I gave my little assistance as a friend. Around July this year his sister had a life threatening ailment and when he reached out to me I quickly responded with something meaningful. After some weeks his wife told me she was sick when we met in church, I quickly went to an ATM, made withdrawal and gave her money to buy drugs since her husband who happens to be my friend was not in town.

The irony of the whole thing now is
that my friend's wife now thinks that I am Father Christmas and now calls and sends texts requesting for money to take care of her antenatal drugs but I have refused to help because I believe it is wrong and she keeps pestering me.

Please what is your advice?

This guy is secretly wanting to sleep with the friend's wife maybe he has already had a few secret knacks sef.

If you give her antenatal money too
many times, the pikin fit come resemble you ohhh.

Better give them via her hussy.

baba if I beg you for money now you no go give, buh you sabi give person wife abi

alimaa:
I have a very close friend who has been like a brother to me right from our days in the university, we also worship in the same church, he was my best man when I wedded a few years ago. He got married this year and after the wedding things were not rosy for them the following month and I gave my little assistance as a friend. Around July this year his sister had a life threatening ailment and when he reached out to me I quickly responded with something meaningful. After some weeks his wife told me she was sick when we met in church, I quickly went to an ATM, made withdrawal and gave her money to buy drugs since her husband who happens to be my friend was not in town.

The irony of the whole thing now is
that my friend's wife now thinks that I am Father Christmas and now calls and sends texts requesting for money to take care of her antenatal drugs but I have refused to help because I believe it is wrong and she keeps pestering me.

Please what is your advice?

Very wrong my man - please bring it to the attention of the husband before he accuses you of sleeping with his wife. Going forward, inform the wife to channel all request via the husband. Your relationship is with your friend and not his wife even though she is an acquaintance.

Avoid unnecessary issues and another future thread on NL

Help enrol her for the NHIS scheme. With that you won't have to be giving her money for drugs anymore

If you have give it to her with free mind don't expect anything in return,
Helping a poor & needy is better than giving out to all this yahoo pastors & babalawo that scattered every where.

JONNYSPUTE:
My brother for the sake of God,don't withdraw your helping hands from them. As long as you have,keep helping them but make sure you do so through your friend .

I support dat. Thanks

Avoid her...

alimaa:
I have a very close friend who has been like a brother to me right from our days in the university, we also worship in the same church, he was my best man when I wedded a few years ago. He got married this year and after the wedding things were not rosy for them the following month and I gave my little assistance as a friend. Around July this year his sister had a life threatening ailment and when he reached out to me I quickly responded with something meaningful. After some weeks his wife told me she was sick when we met in church, I quickly went to an ATM, made withdrawal and gave her money to buy drugs since her husband who happens to be my friend was not in town.

The irony of the whole thing now is
that my friend's wife now thinks that I am Father Christmas and now calls and sends texts requesting for money to take care of her antenatal drugs but I have refused to help because I believe it is wrong and she keeps pestering me.

Please what is your advice?

To be on a safe side, when next she calls tell her to inform her husband and let him be the one to come for the money.

You might be helping her without the notice or consent of her husband and at the end you will be accused of sleeping with her even in pregnancy

Alternatively tell her you can't really help that is if you can summon courage to do so.