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Absalom's Revenge - Literature - Nairaland

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Absalom's Revenge by rokisammy: 6:35pm On Feb 02, 2019
Hi nairalanders, this is the first complete story I’ve written, I hope y’all enjoy it, Jahbless!

DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fiction and any relations to an actual event or person(s) is purely co-incidental.

COPYRIGHTS: No part of this story should be published or rewritten in any form without the permission of the writer, interested people should contact the writer on rokisammy@gmail.com.



Chapter one

Hi esteemed reader, my name is David Bernard, I’m 21 years old, currently I’m at the EFCC hq, as part of a murder/fraud case, how did I get to be in this position? , that’s what I’m going to let you know in this short story of mine now pay full attention as it is important you do.


I graduated from sec. school in the year 2015, I wrote my SSCE the same year and my JAMB, but my SSCE wasted my chances of admission that year as I had D7 in Physics and Maths, I’ve to wait another extra year at home, know something about me, I’m not a friend-freaky kind of person, like im not quick to become friends with anybody unless it seemed necessary, I’m openy attracted to girls, I like to joke around with and stuffs but I had no girlfriend, now speaking of friends, there this one person that had glued me to himself, Daniel, he has been my friend(or so I thought he was) since SS1, very stubborn, funny at the same time, has average intelligence in studies, now back to myself, just because I said I don’t have a girlfriend doesn’t mean im a saint, though im a virgin but trust me I’ve done enough things that doesn’t qualify me as one,mehn, at that time I was frustrated and university life was all I craved,


“Damn, the admission process in this country is so fvcked” Daniel said as we walked out of a registration center, the heat burned my skin immediately I stepped into the sun reminding me of the 24/7 Ac in the hall we just exited, the servers were down and we were to come the next day, “I just tire for this kin country, person must write WAEC, UTME and POST UTME together, just to go school”, I retorted, “and you must not fail one, else na next year tins be that” I said again, “Wo make we leave them jare cause nobody cares about the citizens even people wey pass every every self nor see school gate talkless of enter” Daniel said, “na true sha, government officials just dey do chop and clean mouth, useless people” I added, then Daniel looked at me with some kind of expression I would call angry, but I matched it the fact that he was probably frustrated, even I was too, now this is where all my troubles began, I brought out my phone, opened my facebook app, I’m not an FBF(Facebook Famous) so I rarely attract friend request but this particular day, I’d seen 3 friend requests, the other 2 had been there since like 6 months and I wasn’t going to accept them, they were my aunts, the new one had a username ‘Itz Pretty May’, I tilted my phone towards Daniel, “you sabi am”, he took my phone without replying and gave me back after a few seconds, ‘friend request accepted’, I was furious but I didn’t show it, “why you go accept am like dat now….ah” I grunted, “bro you need more girls than boys in your life right now” Daniel replied, “geraway jare pussy-monger” I joked, Daniel took it as usual he bared his brown teeth, I’ve always wondered why teeth were so brown, some folks back in sec. school even nicknamed him ‘Cap’n Jack Daniel Sparrow’, “see you tomorrow” I said after we parted ways at our respective routes,

I got home that evening, took my shower, eat, slept like crazy, on a normal day I wake up around 8:30 A.M, I’m a very lazy person in nature to worsen matters I was the only boy, with 3 fully-grown waiting to be wedded sisters, so house-chores rarely came my way even if it did I would pass it down to our last-born Tosin, very lousy and stubborn fellow but I really like her, I rubbed my sleepy eyes and posed as if I wanted to stand but then I dozed again, and when it seems my period of dozing was better than the sleep itself until my phone notification sound ruined it, a message from ‘Itz pretty May’ “good morning” it read, I replied “morning dear”, dropped my phone again, stood up made for the toilet, to bathe and freshen up only to come back to meet Daniel with my phone, he grinned widely as he saw me, Daniel was the closest friend I had, my parents are used to having him around, so basically he’s like another member of my family plus my dad has decided to sponsor his education after learning about the demise of his parents in an accident, I made way to spank him on the head, “just because you know my phone password doesn’t give you the authority to use without permission”, “see mumu claiming rights sha, I’m trying to help you here”, I grabbed my phone from him and glanced through it, the next reply from ‘May’ was her Whatsapp number, “you see?... go get dressed jare lets go back to dah registration sh!t”, I beamed in my mind I was happy, but Daniel? How did he manage to get her number so quick?
Re: Absalom's Revenge by rokisammy: 6:52pm On Feb 02, 2019
Chapter two
Slowly days turned to weeks and weeks into month, Daniel and I had written our POST UTME to the same school to study Mechanical and Electrical Eng. Respectively, our scores guarantee a spot in the admission list, I couldn’t wait any more, school life that I’ve been daydreaming about was just few months away, it was turning out to be a typical Saturday Man united had lost their second match on a row now, I was pissed, Daniel as usual was laughing as loud as he sang The “GGMU” song to taunt me, I got up and made for my room, then I got the message, “my boyfriend wants to organize a party, do you wanna come, please don’t say no” she added as much pleading emojis to the message as she could, then I turned around to ask Daniel about it, he wasn’t fond of her, he had described her as manner-less recalling the time ‘May’ whose real was Mayowa had come to visit me, she and Daniel didn’t get well together or so I thought until now,


reader I’m trying to make this story as short as possible yet so detailed so you don’t miss a point, I walked back to our spacious sitting room, “ There’s a party this weekend bro, you wanna come?”, “oya turn-up sneh!” Daniel retorted as he switched the channel to a cartoon channel, “ancient of days, as old as you are” I joked, Daniel didn’t care he loved sponge bob squarepants to a fault, “na you sabi, anyways whose party is it?” he asked, “Mayowa’s” I replied, he frowned “count me out bro”, he looked like he wouldn’t change his mind after trying to persuade him, not that I really wanted him to but Daniel was easy access to get my parent’s permission, they did almost everything he asked for, and besides he was guardian always watching out for me in parties, he tilted his neck to look back a bit he knew what I was thinking, “don’t worry I’d help you get your folks consent”, I smiled widely, “thanks bro” I got near him and patted him on the back, he rubbed my hands and whispered what seemed to sound like ‘Absalom’s revenge’, “I didn’t catch that bro” I asked, “no be you, I dey talk to” he replied.


Weekend came as fast as it could, Daniel had gotten my parents’ consent under the lie that both of us were going together, I dressed up as ‘swagly’ when it came to fashion I was better than Daniel he had a poor fashion sense, as he got in his jeans and a Paris-Saint German jersey, with the way he was going about it I knew he was headed for the football field, I stepped out, Tosin got a glimpse of me on her way to the kitchen “You’re looking dapper egbon” she shouted, most time I felt the only reason why she was born was to torment me in every possible way and she had succeeded cause I never knew when she was serious with me or pulling my legs, all my older sisters were in their respective boyfriends house else I could have gotten one of them to access me, I had gone to jerry-coil my hair, I went into my mom’s room to look at the mirror(this mirror was the biggest in our house) funny of me to use ‘was’ well the government had confiscated it now, back to the story, my perfume was carefully sprayed not too much yet not too small, I bounced confidently or so my ‘New Balance’ always made me feel, “don’t stay longer than as agreed oh” Daniel said as he made for the field, and I made for what I would call ‘The beginning of the end’.


I got to the party a bit late, I dialed Mayowa’s number and informed her of my arrival as the gateman wouldn’t open up unless I had someone on the inside, she stepped out the gate, I was wowed, my eyes focused on her waist particularly, it was such a sight, I imagined my hands on those waists whilst we danced, I really hoped I got her attention today cause we’d always talked about relationships, she was aware I was single and I was aware that Collins her boyfriend was a total prick (or so I thought), so maybe today was the right day nut in her boyfriend’s house?, “we’d see” I said, I was so lost in thought I didn’t notice she had gotten beside me “see what” she asked curiously, “nothing” I said, she looked at me with some dirty-flirty eyes, held my hand then dragged me inside the house, how I wished an angel would have just stopped us in our tracks and ordered me to go back, but even if he did come, I was lost in the thought of romance that I’d asked him to fvck off!, we got inside the house, the sitting room was were the party was being held, I saw a corridor that parted rooms, which I thought were just 4 or thereabout, “come lemme introduce you” she beacon me to follow her, my eyes went back to her behind, oh my G… they were massive and dancing about as she walked briskly in front of me, my moses rod showed interest as it tied to pop its head outta it confinement, ‘no way;’ I thought, I tried to compose myself, we got to the sitting room, it was filled with music, energetic half naked teenagers like me dancing rhythmically to the vibes of Wizkid – Ojuelegba, there was a weird smell in the place but I didn’t bother everyone around held a red cup drinking God-knows-what the ones that weren’t drinking were smoking, I tapped her from back “you said it was just a small party” “ yeah I did but you see Collins has a nack for big things” as she said big things my eyes went back to her behind, ‘he does’ I said to myself, after squeezing our through the crowd we got to a corner of the sitting room, about 6 boys sat together round a table, each having a girl on his lap, except one, “hey babe” Mayowa called, the one without a girl stood up and walked towards me with that Sylvester Stallion posture I knew I was in for it

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