Casan0va:
Introduction

Many people think that love is that you feel a surge of emotion toward someone.
You can't wait to see the person, talk to the person. When you're around the person, you're happy and at peace.

That's what love is all about, right?
Sorry to burst your bubble, you're either attracted, infatuated or IN LOVE with the person.

Gary Chapman in his book, "The 5 love languages:secret to marriage that last" discussed this at length (this book is a must read. Interested people can drop their mail, I'll send it for free to the first 20 people).
You see many a Marriage or relationship rocked by this.

"I don't know where the spark that was there at the beginning of our relationship went"
"She usually wasn't this difficult and nagging before"

Let me put it simply, you're out of that IN LOVE stage and now you are facing cold, hard reality.


Love is a decision not a feeling
We have all been in that IN LOVE situation and sooner or later we had to face reality.

That girl/guy that was beautiful/handsome and had no fault has turned to a malevolent, controlling, selfish, violent, inconsiderate animal.

Hello hello??
Sounds familiar?


Those traits were there from the beginning but the feeling of being IN LOVE overshadowed and we went ahead thinking of spending the rest of our lives with the person.
Even naming kids .

Also, when we meet someone we really like, we tend to unconsciously bring out our good sides more.
We become more tolerant to some things we otherwise won't have tolerated because we're still in that IN LOVE stage.

You're a guy, and you don't like when someone keeps you waiting when you set an appointment, the girl you're IN LOVE with may delay you by 10 or 15 mins and you're angry, but when she shows up looking like an angel and sweetly apologise, you tell her it's Okay and all is forgiven and forgotten.

You're a girl, you don't like when someone raises their voice on you or accuses you of something you didn't do.
The guy you're IN LOVE with does that, you're hurt, but he says all the right things, tells you that he's under severe stress, you forgive and all is forgotten.

These are just the characters/traits you don't want that creep up and you decide to toss them aside.
Why?
Because you're IN LOVE.


Love is a decision because you've taken a wholistic and realistic view of things and know that in the future, arguments, misunderstandings will come up and you decide to stick with the person.
That is Love.

Anybody can be IN LOVE, but Love is a decision.


You know that that girl that seems faultless right now may be an uncontrollable cheat or she does hard drugs, or she farts , angels aren't supposed to fart na or she is arrogant and disrespectful.

You know that guy that is the embodiment of sweetness will have bad sides, he is a woman beater or he is a compulsive, unrepentant liar.


When you've reached a stage of your life that you have learned that IN LOVE feeling, while good and sweet while it lasts is completely deceptive then we will have more stable relationships.





Note to my fellow Casanovas, use this knowledge to your advantage.
When you sense she's still in the IN LOVE stage, you swoop in for the kill, because at that moment, you can do no wrong in her eyes.

Casan0va writes

Biglittlelois:



Your write up was making sense until you said @bolded, in other words men should take advantage of women in love e.g cheat on her-she'll easily forgive, beat her-she'll still stay, rape her-it's no big deal e.t.c

I really hope you don't have sisters or a woman in your life, you are a kind of person that can push people to murder or suicide, it's only stupid men that'll listen to your stupid advice

Casan0va:
Introduction

Many people think that love is that you feel a surge of emotion toward someone.
You can't wait to see the person, talk to the person. When you're around the person, you're happy and at peace.

That's what love is all about, right?
Sorry to burst your bubble, you're either attracted, infatuated or IN LOVE with the person.

Gary Chapman in his book, "The 5 love languages:secret to marriage that last" discussed this at length (this book is a must read. Interested people can drop their mail, I'll send it for free to the first 20 people).
You see many a Marriage or relationship rocked by this.

"I don't know where the spark that was there at the beginning of our relationship went"
"She usually wasn't this difficult and nagging before"

Let me put it simply, you're out of that IN LOVE stage and now you are facing cold, hard reality.


Love is a decision not a feeling
We have all been in that IN LOVE situation and sooner or later we had to face reality.

That girl/guy that was beautiful/handsome and had no fault has turned to a malevolent, controlling, selfish, violent, inconsiderate animal.

Hello hello??
Sounds familiar?


Those traits were there from the beginning but the feeling of being IN LOVE overshadowed and we went ahead thinking of spending the rest of our lives with the person.
Even naming kids .

Also, when we meet someone we really like, we tend to unconsciously bring out our good sides more.
We become more tolerant to some things we otherwise won't have tolerated because we're still in that IN LOVE stage.

You're a guy, and you don't like when someone keeps you waiting when you set an appointment, the girl you're IN LOVE with may delay you by 10 or 15 mins and you're angry, but when she shows up looking like an angel and sweetly apologise, you tell her it's Okay and all is forgiven and forgotten.

You're a girl, you don't like when someone raises their voice on you or accuses you of something you didn't do.
The guy you're IN LOVE with does that, you're hurt, but he says all the right things, tells you that he's under severe stress, you forgive and all is forgotten.

These are just the characters/traits you don't want that creep up and you decide to toss them aside.
Why?
Because you're IN LOVE.


Love is a decision because you've taken a wholistic and realistic view of things and know that in the future, arguments, misunderstandings will come up and you decide to stick with the person.
That is Love.

Anybody can be IN LOVE, but Love is a decision.


You know that that girl that seems faultless right now may be an uncontrollable cheat or she does hard drugs, or she farts , angels aren't supposed to fart na or she is arrogant and disrespectful.

You know that guy that is the embodiment of sweetness will have bad sides, he is a woman beater or he is a compulsive, unrepentant liar.

A decision you make without feelings will slip off your hands someday. When a thing has not got a man's emotion, it has not got him. Our feelings end up getting the best of us. We are most convinced in the direction of our feelings. However feelings without a committed decision does not sum up to love
When you've reached a stage of your life that you have learned that IN LOVE feeling, while good and sweet while it lasts is completely deceptive then we will have more stable relationships.





Note to my fellow Casanovas, use this knowledge to your advantage.
When you sense she's still in the IN LOVE stage, you swoop in for the kill, because at that moment, you can do no wrong in her eyes.

Casan0va writes