This is weird. It's strange and outside the societal norms.

But then, I have yet to see compelling reasons why I should have kids especially in this sinful world, nay Nigeria.

The most prominent reason I hear is

"I want someone to bear my name"

This reason to me is asinine.

I mean, what's my business with people bearing my name?
Will it matter upon my demise? Of what benefit or use is that if I die?

I feel If I care so much about immortalizing my name then starting a company like Toyota, Toshiba etc should do that. Or maybe writing books : Achebe, Robert Green etc.. Or establishing a school, hospital etc.


Another reason is "Who will take care of you in old age?"

I feel like this shouldn't be an issue if there is some money somewhere that one could rely on. Money answers all things you know!



I just feel like I need a woman whom I would love, cherish her as my companion, travel the world with her and of course have seex and share our lives together.


I love women. But don't feel like I want kids. Could it be that I feel I may be unable to sacrifice a lot for them?

Or could it because I feel the world is evil with so much pain hence no need bringing kids into the world.


It seems I am an antinatalist you know.


Firstly, What do you think about this?

Secondly, How do I find a woman that has same views?

Cheers!

I want kids but don't want a wife.

OP! Ur write up summarises selfishness plus irresponsibility... Ur dad married ur mom to have you without being self centered, ur blood need be tested. #walksaway

There is this believe that your kids are like a passport for your rebirth or your re-incarnation,, this is why Monarchs and royal houses literarily screens their bloodline, even Adam to Abraham down to Jesus are same bloodline, Prophet Muhammed is also Abraham's Bloodline.

In this simple view i think child bearing and nurturing is important to preserve your DNA for re-entrance of your soul back to the living world from the spirit world. This is why some Europeans create wealth and conglomerate lasting multiple Generation so as to come back to this world and enjoy part of thier labour.

As you're adamant on not wanting kids, then PLEASE, for their sake, do not have any nor be pressured into it.

As most [married] women want kids, then PLEASE only marry a woman w| the same objective as you.

May your wish be granted.

Your desire could change in future anyway.

I doubt if there is any woman in Nigeria who will share your preference.

Op how old are you? Your answer I this question will determine what I will tell you.

khatea:
OP! Ur write up summarises selfishness plus irresponsibility... Ur dad married ur mom to have you without being self centered, ur blood need be tested. #walksaway

how did you know his dad married his mom
.before he was given birth to?

khatea:
OP! Ur write up summarises selfishness plus irresponsibility... Ur dad married ur mom to have you without being self centered, ur blood need be tested. #walksaway

I need intelligent responses from smart people.
Unfortunately, you are bereft of all.

solmusdesigns:



There is this believe that your kids are like a passport for your rebirth or your re-incarnation,, this is why Monarchs and royal houses literarily screens their bloodline, even Adam to Abraham down to Jesus are same bloodline, Prophet Muhammed is also Abraham's Bloodline.

In this simple view i think child bearing and nurturing is important to preserve your DNA for re-entrance of your soul back to the living world from the spirit world. This is why some Europeans create wealth and conglomerate lasting multiple Generation so as to come back to this world and enjoy part of thier labour.

Imagine such myth. Gosh!

And Obama has just 2 girls.
TB Joshua same.

Oprah how many?

greatme2good:
Op how old are you? Your answer I this question will determine what I will tell you.

And your answer now to me will change in 5 years time?

babyfaceafrica:
how did you know his dad married his mom
.before he was given birth to?

Leave the dude with no exposure.

What does he know apart from indoctrination?

He even thinks my parents did me a favour by giving birth to me. Gosh!

I can't discuss with such a simpleton.

That's why I ignored him.

Contumely:


Imagine such myth. Gosh!

And Obama has just 2 girls.
TB Joshua same.

Oprah how many?

Like i said in my opening statement, its a believe.... and many race shares that.. not a scietific theory. Obama having to girls doesnt stop him, as i read an acient book the insight that it sometimes take the third generation to come back even to according to the lost myan civilisation .. and thats why bible.said a curse runs to.its tenth generation

khatea:
OP! Ur write up summarises selfishness plus irresponsibility... Ur dad married ur mom to have you without being self centered, ur blood need be tested. #walksaway

And you wanting to have kids is not for any selfish reasons whatsoever, right?

Contumely,
it is your choice. You don't have to justify your decision at all like the ones who contribute to the explosion of the world population do not justify theirs. Do what is right for you. There are women who do not like children, who dread the idea of carrying a pregnancy and delivering children and also women who can't have children for medical reasons. It's just that these women are not free enough to express themselves in a mindless society like this. Be open about your decision and the right person will find her way to you.

Mindfulness:


And you wanting to have kids is not for any selfish reasons whatsoever, right?

Mindfulness:
Contumely,
it is your choice. You don't have to justify your decision at all like the ones who contribute to the explosion of the world population do not justify theirs. Do what is right for you. There are women who do not like children, who dread the idea of carrying a pregnancy and delivering children and also women who can't have children for medical reasons. It's just that these women are not free enough to express themselves in a mindless society like this. Be open about your decision and the right person will find her way to you.

Mindfulness:


And you wanting to have kids is not for any selfish reasons whatsoever, right?

When I see smart people I know. lol

The dude is prolly still young and not exposed.

He is not well read too.

Every human act is for a purpose which may be called selfishness if you don't want to be politically correct.

Strictly speaking, my parents did me no favour by giving birth to me. Only people with good IQ can understand this.

Only if he had seen Adam's Smith book "Wealth of Nations".

Nice to have you bro!

solmusdesigns:



There is this believe that your kids are like a passport for your rebirth or your re-incarnation,, this is why Monarchs and royal houses literarily screens their bloodline, even Adam to Abraham down to Jesus are same bloodline, Prophet Muhammed is also Abraham's Bloodline.

In this simple view i think child bearing and nurturing is important to preserve your DNA for re-entrance of your soul back to the living world from the spirit world. This is why some Europeans create wealth and conglomerate lasting multiple Generation so as to come back to this world and enjoy part of thier labour.

Lol Jesus was adopted by Joseph

Mindfulness:
Contumely,
it is your choice. You don't have to justify your decision at all like the ones who contribute to the explosion of the world population do not justify theirs. Do what is right for you. There are women who do not like children, who dread the idea of carrying a pregnancy and delivering children and also women who can't have children for medical reasons. It's just that these women are not free enough to express themselves in a mindless society like this. Be open about your decision and the right person will find her way to you.

God bless you for this comment. At least we still have intelligent people around unlike those creatures who made comments above yours.

Contumely:
This is weird. It's strange and outside the societal norms.
But then, I have yet to see compelling reasons why I should have kids especially in this sinful world, nay Nigeria.
The most prominent reason I hear is
"I want someone to bear my name"
This reason to me is asinine.
I mean, what's my business with people bearing my name?
Will it matter upon my demise? Of what benefit or use is that if I die?
I feel If I care so much about immortalizing my name then starting a company like Toyota, Toshiba etc should do that. Or maybe writing books : Achebe, Robert Green etc.. Or establishing a school, hospital etc.
Another reason is "Who will take care of you in old age?"
I feel like this shouldn't be an issue if there is some money somewhere that one could rely on. Money answers all things you know!
I just feel like I need a woman whom I would love, cherish her as my companion, travel the world with her and of course have seex and share our lives together.
I love women. But don't feel like I want kids. Could it be that I feel I may be unable to sacrifice a lot for them?
Or could it because I feel the world is evil with so much pain hence no need bringing kids into the world.
It seems I am an antinatalist you know.
Firstly, What do you think about this?
Secondly, How do I find a woman that has same views?
Cheers!

Firstly, what I think about this is that you're contradicting yourself a lot without even realizing it.

You have made the choice of going against societal norms by not wanting kids, yet somehow you still want a wife which in itself is very much a societal norm.

You're yet to see compelling reasons why you should have kids, but somehow you stated the following reasons as to why you need a wife:

I just feel like I need a woman whom I would love, cherish her as my companion, travel the world with her and of course have seex and share our lives together.

News flash: These are not compelling reasons.
You can do all that and not be married to her.

You made mention of Oprah in a comment above as an example of someone who doesn't have kids. Well hello, she's also not married. Get my point yet?

If you're intent on rebelling against societal expectations, go all out and do that. Picking and choosing is a tad bit hypocritical and counter intuitive.



Your second question about how to find a single woman who has never had kids and is willing to be married without bearing any children from that marriage?
Well, good luck with that.

But allow me offer a tip to make it easier - look specifically for girls with fertility issues that medically prevents them from becoming mothers, or look for divorced women with kid(s) from a previous marriage and no intention of having any more.
The latter option though, will make you a step father, but at least the kid(s) won't bear your name and you can instruct them not to take care of you when you're old since you dont need the help.

Cheers.

Contumely:


When I see smart people I know. lol

The dude is prolly still young and not exposed.

He is not well read too.

Every human act is for a purpose which may be called selfishness if you don't want to be politically correct.

Strictly speaking, my parents did me no favour by giving birth to me. Only people with good IQ can understand this.

Only if he had seen Adam's Smith book "Wealth of Nations".

Nice to have you bro!

Didn't you ask people to tell you what they think about it?

If all you can swallow is an applause for your decision, not criticism, you should have put a caveat to that effect on your post.

Why are some people attacking him? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting children.

You’ll probably have an issue finding a woman who is comfortable enough to admit to sharing your views however and going along with it since Nigerians are obsessed with women’s wombs thus they are always under a lot of pressure to have children.

As long as you’re both aware of this decision and agree to it, your business, your prerogative. I wish you well with your quest.

crackhaus:

Firstly, what I think about this is that you're contradicting yourself a lot without even realizing it.

You have made the choice of going against societal norms by not wanting kids, yet somehow you still want a wife which in itself is very much a societal norm.

You're yet to see compelling reasons why you should have kids, but somehow you stated the following reasons as to why you need a wife:

News flash: These are not compelling reasons.
You can do all that and not be married to her.

You made mention of Oprah in a comment above as an example of someone who doesn't have kids. Well hello, she's also not married. Get my point yet?

If you're intent on rebelling against societal expectations, go all out and do that. Picking and choosing is a tad bit hypocritical and counter intuitive.



Your second question about how to find a single woman who has never had kids and is willing to be married without bearing any children from that marriage?
Well, good luck with that.

But allow me offer a tip to make it easier - look specifically for girls with fertility issues that medically prevents them from becoming mothers, or look for divorced women with kid(s) from a previous marriage and no intention of having any more.
The latter option though, will make you a step father, but at least the kid(s) won't bear your name and you can instruct them not to take care of you when you're old since you dont need the help.

Cheers.

You tried but you ended up in the murky waters of obscurantism.

You committed fallacy of false analogy when you assumed that my going against societal norm of NOT WANTING KIDS presupposes that I shouldn't want a wife too.

Now I was stupefied by your statement that I shouldn't pick societal norms to "rebel" against. In other words, I should do what everyone is doing. So if the norm in a particular area is that all young males smoke and get drunk then I should smoke too and get drunk?


Also, you said I can do all I listed with a woman and still not be married to her.

This suggests that having kids consummates marriage.

Have you ever seen Matrimonial Causes Act or the Marriage Act before?


Gosh! This is off putting.

Doleful. Your rejoinder is way non sequitur.


Thanks for stopping by anyway

crackhaus:

Didn't you ask people to tell you what they think about it?

If all you can swallow is an applause for your decision, not criticism, you should have put a caveat to that effect on your post.

I wanted views not baloney.

Contumely:

You tried but you ended up in the murky waters of obscurantism.
You committed fallacy of false analogy when you assumed that my going against societal norm of NOT WANTING KIDS presupposes that I shouldn't want a wife too.
Now I was stupefied by your statement that I shouldn't pick societal norms to "rebel" against. In other words, I should do what everyone is doing. So if the norm in a particular area is that all young males smoke and get drunk then I should smoke too and get drunk?
Also, you said I can do all I listed with a woman and still not be married to her.
This suggests that having kids consummates marriage.
Have you ever seen Matrimonial Causes Act or the Marriage Act before?
Gosh! This is off putting.
Doleful. Your rejoinder is way non sequitur.
Thanks for stopping by anyway

I can see you're trying extra hard to impress yourself.
You didn't even grasp the substance of my post before going off on this tirade with misplaced words thrown around in wrong contexts.

Go back, read my piece again. I didn't try to convince you against your choice, I even told you how to go about it.
What I expected is that you provide the 'compelling' reasons for wanting a wife, when in essence, the 'societal imperative' for even having a wife in the first place is to start a nuclear family.

Do you follow now?

Contumely:


I wanted views not baloney.

By baloney, I take it you mean any 'thought' or 'idea' that criticizes your decision not to have kids.

If that's the case, you shouldn't have asked people to tell you what they think because an intelligent person, which is what you're trying too hard to portray yourself as, knows that different people think differently.

Were you looking for discussions, or applause?

You'd be surprised now many women don't want to have kids.Finding one shouldnt be too difficult but hopefully,you are not the average naija guy because for a woman in a society as ours to be bold enough to not want kids,she probably won't subscribe to patriarchal standards like submission and all that. Be ready to be treated as an equal not a Lord. She will be very. different from your regular naija girl. I must commend your honesty too . A breath of fresh air.

Antinatalist

There's a word for every thing.

solmusdesigns:



There is this believe that your kids are like a passport for your rebirth or your re-incarnation,, this is why Monarchs and royal houses literarily screens their bloodline, even Adam to Abraham down to Jesus are same bloodline, Prophet Muhammed is also Abraham's Bloodline.

In this simple view i think child bearing and nurturing is important to preserve your DNA for re-entrance of your soul back to the living world from the spirit world. This is why some Europeans create wealth and conglomerate lasting multiple Generation so as to come back to this world and enjoy part of thier labour.

I love theories on the arcane.

crackhaus:

Firstly, what I think about this is that you're contradicting yourself a lot without even realizing it.

You have made the choice of going against societal norms by not wanting kids, yet somehow you still want a wife which in itself is very much a societal norm.

You're yet to see compelling reasons why you should have kids, but somehow you stated the following reasons as to why you need a wife:

News flash: These are not compelling reasons.
You can do all that and not be married to her.

You made mention of Oprah in a comment above as an example of someone who doesn't have kids. Well hello, she's also not married. Get my point yet?

If you're intent on rebelling against societal expectations, go all out and do that. Picking and choosing is a tad bit hypocritical and counter intuitive.



Your second question about how to find a single woman who has never had kids and is willing to be married without bearing any children from that marriage?
Well, good luck with that.

But allow me offer a tip to make it easier - look specifically for girls with fertility issues that medically prevents them from becoming mothers, or look for divorced women with kid(s) from a previous marriage and no intention of having any more.
The latter option though, will make you a step father, but at least the kid(s) won't bear your name and you can instruct them not to take care of you when you're old since you dont need the help.

Cheers.

Sense pass sense. You try jare

ThothHermes:

Antinatalist

There's a word for every thing.

Lol, trust me that guy is going to be a father in 10years.
He seems more like someone still trying to figure himself out rather than an authentic ardent of anti-natalism.

Contumely:
This is weird. It's strange and outside the societal norms.

But then, I have yet to see compelling reasons why I should have kids especially in this sinful world, nay Nigeria.

The most prominent reason I hear is

"I want someone to bear my name"

This reason to me is asinine.

I feel If I care so much about immortalizing my name then starting a company like Toyota, Toshiba etc should do that. Or maybe writing books : Achebe, Robert Green etc.. Or establishing a school, hospital etc.

Or could it because I feel the world is evil with so much pain hence no need bringing kids into the world.


It seems I am an antinatalist you know.

You are not an anti- naturalist. You're just confused based on what I'm reading here 'cause your reasons for not wanting kids seems more situational than that of an anti-naturalist. What do I mean? If the world was less 'evil' would you have nurtured the idea of having kids? That aside, do you know wealth could make your kids not know there's evil in the world?

Calling people's opinion who wish to have kids for continuity(primogeniture) asinine goes a long way to prove that you're immature. No insult intended.

You talked of immortalizing your name by establishing a company, or having a copyright. Well, there are CEOs who died and their companies died along with them. Secondly, not all books would give you the fame Chinua Achebe and the likes have.

Was only thinking differently.

Contumely:


You tried but you ended up in the murky waters of obscurantism.

You committed fallacy of false analogy when you assumed that my going against societal norm of NOT WANTING KIDS presupposes that I shouldn't want a wife too.

Now I was stupefied by your statement that I shouldn't pick societal norms to "rebel" against. In other words, I should do what everyone is doing. So if the norm in a particular area is that all young males smoke and get drunk then I should smoke too and get drunk?


Also, you said I can do all I listed with a woman and still not be married to her.

This suggests that having kids consummates marriage.

Have you ever seen Matrimonial Causes Act or the Marriage Act before?


Gosh! This is off putting.

Doleful. Your rejoinder is way non sequitur.


Thanks for stopping by anyway

Hi anti-natalist...
Do you know your reasons for not wanting kids are as asinine as same reason those that want kids present?
An antinatalist would never even think of bringing forth kids not to talk of giving reason as shallow as the world is filled with evil to justify their cause.