Every day, stories of husbands beating up their wives mercilessly abound. They posit that it's done  to put real sense into their stubborn heads. These shameless women wrappers also believed there can't be two masters in the same house. 

Sadly, these women had to endure these endless and abusive relationships, putting up with different forms of domestic and physical abuses. Perhaps, these women are in it because of their children, maybe because they love the man or they believe one day,  he'll change. Yet, nothing improves; nothing changes.

There's this notions and misconception; these backward and forward debates between the male versus the female superiority: the gender debate to put it more succinctly. There's also this archaic belief that the male is supposed to be the head of the home while the female is supposed to be the neck. There's also this school of thought that the male being the superior of the two is meant to dictate what goes in and around the home; the woman should just follow blindly. Therefore, the rise of women empowerment and emancipation: equal opportunities for women, equal rights for women, equal pay for women, equal positions for women, etc

Some shameless men had begun to abuse this misconceptions. They see it as an opportunity to maltreat these poor and vulnerable women. Unfortunately, a lot of them have ended up in untimely graves. Some in psychiatric homes and others as slaves. They're scared that if they try to leave  or submit damning reports to the Police authorities, the abusive husband will hunt and deal with them.

Furthermore, we've heard of stories of women losing their lives on a daily basis. The stories of two men comes to mind. The story of  Kolade Arowolo, a 30-year-old man who was alleged to have murdered his banker- wife. He claimed he did it in self defense. Another alleged case was that of a dock worker, Olalekan Shonde, a 51-year-old, who brutally killed his wife in the Egbeda area of Lagos, Nigeria. He denied killing her. These're just few homicide cases perpetuated by heartless and troubled men in our societies.

Perhaps, something needs to be done or maybe a lot of these men need help somehow: psychological or otherwise. Some of them are suffering in silence and they've no one to confide in. They should be bold enough to come out and seek for help instead of bottling it up until it spew out of control; until they do the unthinkable. Until it's too late

There're various women non-governmental organizations (NGOs) catering for helpless women.  These NGOs are doing their best even without individuals or government supports. But these domestic/physical abuses still rages on.

Is there a way these helpless women can protect themselves against their rampaging husbands? What should be done to safeguard the lives of those trapped one way or the other and have no ideas of how to leave? These're questions we should be asking ourselves.

Strategically, women who suffer domestic and physical abuses should form a bond; somewhat like support groups where they share ideas on how they can support and protect themselves against such acts. When they're in such places, abused women find comfort and hope when others - who've had such predicaments - share their problems. These experienced women also talked about how they were able to battle their way out of it successful. Again, they benefit a lot when someone from an NGO, affiliated to domestic-and-physical-abused issues comes forward to give advise as well. They can organize conferences and invite these NGOs to give talks on such salient topics.

Now, how do you spot a wife beater?

1. They've anger issues

When a man is always prone to outburst  without any justifiable cause, know that he'll raise his hand(s) someday to hit you. Men are less emotional beings than women, so the only way they can express themselves better is through shouting or throwing tantrums. Probably, these men have issues that have piled up for months or years. These issues filtered to the forefront when the nervous system couldn't tolerate it any longer. It's like a balloon bursting to shred when it has gotten to its limit. What should be done? The men should be subjected to counselling either from their Pastors, Imams or a competent psychiatric.

Some women are known to be talkative, as though a tap gushing water without control. They can talk you to provocation and even insult you. Their tongues can raise and provoke the dead. It can push you to do the unthinkable. But my fellow men, self control should come into play when you're tempted to hit her. Leave the scene: Look for a comforting and relaxing place to calm down.

2. They've inferiority complex

Any man who raises his hand to hit his wife is a coward. He has an inferiority complex. No matter what a woman does to you, you shouldn't make her your punching bag. When a man can't take advise from his wife, then something is amiss somewhere. Some men always want to dominate. They love to flex their muscles against their vulnerable wives. Men who can't share their wives opinions don't deserve to be call husbands. Still, men who can't take advise are selfish. For you to claim to love your wife, you should respect her opinions. Even if you don't feel like it, just give her a listening ear. Women love it when they feel their opinions and advise are taken into consideration. They value men who just listen while they talk and talk.

If you claim to be the real man you are, bring down your ego, humble yourself and give her that listening ear.

3. When they avoid you like a plague

When a man is always avoiding you, know that all isn't well. If you're the talking type who like to bother him, please stop it. He might be going through some emotional issues. Instead, inquire from him why he's in such foul mood. Pamper him like a baby, massage him gently and dig deeper into the reason(s) while he's isolating himself from you. Men are compassionate too. But if you go the wrong way, you might provoke him to hit you. Most of the issues bothering him might be from the office environment, from traffic gridlocks, or from crazy drivers.

4. He might be considering a divorce.

The first sign you notice from him, apart from isolating you is that a divorce matter could be beclouding his sense of reasoning. Sometimes, he doesn't eat the food you cook. He comes home late at night and he's always on the phone 24/7 chatting with his girlfriend. Because he doesn't know how to pass his issues across, the best he could do is to either punch, slap or worse, manhandle you.

5. You're not good in bed

Ladies you see, we men love to explore. If you don't give him what he wants, he'll avoid you and look for somebody else who can give it to him real good. Some young girls who're adventurous will give him what he wants. These ladies can explore at any length; style-wise. Oh my God, these little devils are super-pro. Then he starts keeping late nights. He starts spending the money meant for your home on these young girls. Your children's school fees will remain pending. Meanwhile, he's spending all the money meant for house keep on his concubines. A time will come when a slight provocation will make him go gaga. He might hit you! A sign that he's fed up. My advice is that you should wake up from your slumber and make him come back home. Hit the gym; get into shape. And do the needful. As the saying goes: A word is enough for the wise.

6. He's always intoxicated

When he starts getting drunk, something he doesn't do before, please know that there's an issue bothering him. He gets home, shirt rumpled and stinking like a sewage tank. Eyes as crimson as zobo drink. He has foul mouth odor. Then you questioned him where he's coming from. He gets provoked; slaps and abuses you. Perhaps, something deep inside has been bothering him which you fail to notice. While not take the time to ask him why this sudden change in behavior? Do it when he's sober enough. Ask him in a loving and caring manner. Be the counselor in his life, the comforter he so desperately needs. Pamper him. Arouse that man he once was. Men are very understanding. You'll be surprise at his turnaround.

7. He's psychologically imbalance

Stress might be one of the reason he's hitting you. The stress would've degenerated into something beyond his control. He needs help ASAP. Let him see a doctor who will evaluate him thoroughly and recommends the right therapy. Although his ego wouldn't allow him admit his psychological challenges, you need to persuade him. If he refuses, get the assistance of an elderly person, probably his parents, uncle or aunt. Anybody he respects a lot.

8. They don't admit their faults

Abusive men don't always admit their faults. They feel they're always right. Therefore, they'll beat you when you try to correct their mistakes. Men who're egoistic are very hard to bend and pleased. They don't respect women. They see women as trash who should be disposed as at when due. Men who beat women to a pulp are in that category. They're good to others outside but terrible husbands at home. Such men can do and undo. Because he's always trying to defend his foibles, the best he can do to exert his superiority complex is to maltreat you. Avoid such men as much as you can. For the meantime go and stay with your parents or relatives. When he's back to his senses, and he promise to have a U-turn, then you can consider coming back home. Give him a condition that if he ever raises his hands on you again, you'll never step your foot in that house.

9. They've friends just like them

Birds of the same feather flock together. This expression might sound cliche, but that's the perfect words I can use to describe men like that. They congregate at a particular spot and discuss anything under skirts. These men are womanizers. They've different sets, shades and sizes of girlfriends. They talk, eat and drink anything that has to do with womanizing (the escapades of womanizing) . They discuss their adventures and how their foolish-shapeless wives can't do what they're supposed to do as real house wives.They talk and make fun of how they beat their wives at home and use them as punching bags. Meanwhile, their wives are out of bed at the middle of the night and waiting for them to come back home.

10. They're ungodly 

Men who beat their wives are ungodly. They don't go to church on Sundays. They don't pray with their families and they don't want to have anything that has to do with the preaching of the gospel. Anytime a man of God comes to the house to share the words of God, they've one form of excuses or the other to give. These men don't have the fear of God in them. It only takes the grace of God to pull such men to His presence. They don't respect women especially their wives. What women with such husbands should do is continue to put them in prayers. Commit them to His hands. Pray and fast. With God all things are possible.

I hope you have gained a lot from this article. You can visit my blog http://securitymattersafrica.com to follow or like my page