If you’re finding yourself answering “no” to any or most of these questions, you’re not alone. For most (honest) people, the answer to is a resounding “no.”

But why? Especially given that sex is, basically by definition, one of the purest expressions of intimacy there is. Yet throughout my many years of coaching women and couples to connect more deeply to love and desire, I’ve noticed a huge gap between what most people truly long for in sex and what they actually experience in in their day-to-day lives.

When you think about having sex, would you say “intimacy” is the first thing that comes to your mind? Do you think of sex as a place to feel truly seen, loved and free to fully express yourself?

By getting in touch with your expectations, and those of your partner, you can begin to make sex into a practice that really and truly prioritizes the art of intimacy. With these essential keys in mind, you can begin to focus on radically clarifying your desires when it comes to sex and intimacy.

1. Speak up!

It might seem like overreacting if you want to voice how pissed you felt when your partner looked at your friend with flirty eyes.

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