queeneve:

Chic,

It seems though that you did not get the closure that you need.  Whatever allegations that he accused you of you need to square that with him because if you are not guilty of the allegations then you have the right to confront him, However, I wouldn't go back to him at this time because if he really love you he would have taken the time out to discuss whatever feelings he had and BOTH MUTUALLY come to an agreement to take a break while things are sorted,

IT seems to me something else is going on that he is not telling you or maybe you are not looking at it from a different perspective.  It could be that he feel justified by the allegations regardless if it true or not.

What I suggest that you do is write a letter detailing how you feel and mail it to him, BECAUSE YOU NEED TO GET YOUR FEELINGS OUT and ask him if he want to talk, HE IS WELCOME but let him know that this is not an attempt to get him back but to understand what went wrong SO THAT YOU CAN GET THAT CLOSURE YOU NEED,

Breakups are not healthy because someone ends up hurting however it best in the long run,

Hope that helps sis!  

Odunharry:

The best way to get him out of your mind is stop calling,tell him u dont like how he treats u if he dosnt change den tell him to stop seeing u.though its very difficult to 4get som1 u love so much but u just av to try coz they are millions of guys out there who wil love and care for u.i am nt sayin u shud leave if u stil love him talk to him about it,give him sometime if he dosnt change, if i am in your condition i wil leave him cz i think its better for me than to be putn all my best in a relationship that is makin me sad.

1one:

There are different types of medical and psychological labels and definations for your type of person, but i'll just skip all those and give you my 2cents.

I think you've not given yourself a rock solid reason to scrape him off your mind, anybody that belittles you and gives you the same attention and respect as their toilet seat is just a major no no, let it sink into your head that you are better than that,

You must come to accept and believe that you deserved/deserve much more than anything he's had or would have to offer, the guy is an abuser and the sooner you grow hard scales towards him the better for you, because you might end up seeing every other guy through the things he has done to you and that's bad for business if you know what I mean.

Sometimes you must make decisions in life not because they are easy but because your destiny and the fulfilment of it would hold you accountable, because a relationship can either bring out the best or the worst in you, there are no gray areas, If he's not adding to you, he's removing from you,

The longer you think about him,the longer you make yourself a liabilty and a damaged good.

THINK!, leave that dude behind and MOVE.ON

sleekch1c:

he is an unemotional person and avoids any form of confrontation,he ended it tru phone, he accused me of cheating on him(i never tot of cheating on him 4 once) he said he never loved me,dat all he ever said to me was trash, dat he was me cos i was better in bed than his ex, then he said he got back with his ex cos they dated 4 six yrs b4 we met, while we dated,i always saw records of his calls to the chic bt he assured me that they werent 2geda anymore, yet,they were!

queeneve:

Awww,

That azzhole, well it will take some times, People just dont fall out of love right away,

Still write him a letter and burn it afterward, believe me it helps to get it out and then remove anything memory you have of him pictures, letters, and gifts, ANYTHING THAT TIE TO HIM,

It okay to grieve, take all the time you need and just keep writing him letters until you get every thoughts and feelings you have and DO NOT HOLD ANYTHING BACK,

Shy-One:

@ Poster

First of all dry your tears because mark my word and UNFORTUNATELY - THAT loser will be back in your life.

What I hate is that you will take him back because you are weak for him.

PLEASE GROW A BACKBONE.

The reason you are crying over him is because HE DUMPED YOU.

Had YOU DUMPED HIM - He would be devastated right now.

For some odd reason - the one who is dumped is the one who usually cries the hardest, longest and loudest.

I wish for YOUR SAKE that he was a man of significance so that once he returns AND HE WILL RETURN, he is worthy of you.  But in this case HE IS NOT AT ALL.  He is NO PRIZE to cry over.

Make a list: 2 Columns

1) List What you Like About Him
2) List What you didn't Like About Him

Post that up for you to see - DAILY - do this for yourself because from the sound of it - the negatives will outweigh the positives

Also, just so you can stop crying - START DATING, good looking men, funny men, just date to soothe and relieve your mind - you need to be spoiled right now but be honest with them and let them know you are just getting out of a relationship and please don't tell them what you just went through.

Also, don't mention your ex or regale anyone with stories of what you shared with the clown.  You want to laugh in their presence not make both you and your dates cry over your stupidity and over the manner in which you ALLOWED YOURSELF TO BE TREATED by your Ex.

The next time he saw me and any time thereafter - I would be looking like a million dollars.  But I would be looking like that for myself and NOT FOR HIM.

Start going to the gym, taking long baths with candles, cry hard and get dum-dum out of your system, go out with female friends, start dating, visit your family.

That [boy pretending to be a man]  will be back - PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU AREN'T THERE WHEN HE POPS UP.  START DOING YOU.

She can have him - Both of them did you a huge favor.  Praise God - the shackles are off your feet - YOU CAN DANCE.

gestapo:



Please don't stop loving him, why would you wanna stop? What crimes has he committed that is unheard of? He said he never loved you, NOTHING SPOIL? He calls you trash, SO WHAT? He calls his ex frequently and dumped you to go back to her, KINI BIG DEAL


aBEG CARRY GO AND CONTINUE LOFFING YOUR MAN, LUCKY YOU

Firearm:

but the most important advice I will give to you is this

you need to realise who you are
you are priceless and extremely valuable
no man, I repeat; no man has the right to maltreat any lady

ladies are special blessings to this our universe
and as such; should be treated specially

What you need to understand first is SELF-REALIZATION
see me offline

fyi,
I am happily married to Tjskii
she is my one and only
so dont ever think I have hidden motives
just contributing b'cus I have my name in your OP