Anonymus010:
I Need The Advice Of Experienced Married Men

NB: This is not my real account, I created this account for the purpose of this issue.

Please, I need the advice of married people (especially married men). I will make the story as simple as possible and I promise not to compromise the truth to favour me in this issue.

Brief Introduction: I am a man in my late 20's. Got married last year and currently have a 3month baby.

Brief history of my relationship prior to marriage: I dated my wife for 4years before we finally tied the knot last year. I met her in the university, we were classmate in school.

Before I started dating my wife, I was dating a girl in the same class but we both agreed to separate after 1year because we were age mate and she was keen on getting married immediately after graduation which I knew I will not be ready for marriage by then (Note: No sex in the relationship, She was a virgin and because I couldn't assure her of marriage, I didn't sex her).

After the break up with my ex, I became close to my wife and we started dating. She was self sufficient as she had a source of income while in school, she supports me, gives me money, cooks and buy me food etc. She was the best woman any man can think of. I fell in love along the line and decided this is the right lady to marry.

Note: There were several backlashes from other classmates insinuating she snatched me from my ex but we scaled through all that. We dated for 2more years in school and we graduated. We dated for another 2more years post school till last year.

Brief history immediately before marriage: Everything was fine till my wife's birthday last year. I did tripple shifts at work(48hrs work non-stop) and came back a night before her birthday and slept off. I woke up 2:30am to wish her happy birthday. She got angry and told me I didnt put her in mind and that I was not the first person to wish her happy birthday (She later told me her ex wished her first at exactly 12am). I apologised to her and told her the reason I missed the time. I had just 10k, gave her 5k to do a birthday photoshoot, used about 3k to buy her goodies as salary has not been paid.

Fast forward to after 1week of the birthday, she came up with serious issue, saying she wanted a break but not total break-up for some months to put herself together. She lamented she was not getting anything from the relationship, I don't usually take her out, I didnt celebrate her birthday well for her, I didnt buy cake, I didnt buy gift etc. I apologised and pleaded with her to be patient as we had big projects before us (wedding, masters degree and family apartment) which she knew I was saving for. We settled it and had sex. After 7days, I saw a call log on her phone where she had a conversation with her ex for almost an hour between 11pm and 12am. After 1month, she missed her menses and was pregnant. I asked her if she ever saw her ex, she cried and swore that she didn't (Note: I trusted her because she is modest and she is not the sex type). So, I agreed, accepted the preg, quickly arranged an impromptu wedding, I quickly sourced for money, spent over N2million on the wedding......

THE PROBLEM:

2weeks after the weeding, my wife started abusing my family especially my mum, telling me she hated how my family behaved during the wedding. I pleaded with her not to allow this to affect our home. The insults and abuse became perpetual. My wife works from home and will give me several reasons why she cannot cook after giving her money for food stuffs once I collect salary. Its just 2 of us living in a mini flat & I wash my clothes myself, but she will give me thousands of reasons how the non-existent house shores prevent her from cooking.

After 9months, she gave birth, I asked her who she wanted to come do omugo with the baby between her mum and my mum. She opted for my mum (claimed her mum will be giving her problem). Not up to 1week that my mum came over, she has started complaining about everything she does. Despite the fact that this woman will wake up 5am, wash everybody's clothes, bath the baby but she doesnt cook. My wife started complaining about her being obligated to cook every morning because of my mum's presence(Note: she doesnt cook in the morning, if I am going to work by 8am, I will either warm a left over previous night's food or source for food outside). When the complain was becoming overwhelming to the point of her almost insulting my mum in my presence, I told her I will tell my mum to go back to her house( my mum lives in a mini flat too with my dad, so they are very comfortable). She said I shouldn't. After 1 month, my mum left. The abuse, insults and complain continued. She will nag about how my mum did when she was with us, abuse and insults my family. I will appeal to her and defend my family. My wife became complete opposite of who she was when we were dating.

The real issue at hand: We would be migrating to the US soon. Lately, I can't control my wife, anytime I don't buy her idea or wish, she will rain insults on me. Just 3days ago, she told me I don't have sense repeatedly just because she said we should go and greet her mum's pastor which I told her not now but we can go later. If I tell her to do something, she will do otherwise and give me thousand of reasons she can't do it. 2months ago, I reported all her attitudes to her mum, her mum talked to her but no change, she is getting worse. Last week, I did 24hours at work, I got home, my wife didn't cook. I got into the kitchen, made custard and placed the soup on the gas cooker. We were both in the living room. She perceived the soup was getting burnt and insulted me, telling me it was because I was not the one that dropped money for the soup, thats why I wanted to burn it (She cooked the soup with her money because my salary was delayed). She insults me at will, gives me no respect and treat me as trash.(Note: I had never cheated on her and she doesn't doubt my fidelity. Likewise, I had never suspected her of such too).

I am currently scared because I know US is women's world because I have included her and the kid as my dependents in my green card petition. I am scared for my life and career because she could go worse in the US and destroy all I have laboured for.

Please kindly advise me on what I can do to change her.

Sorry for the long write up and any grammatical errors.

I know lots of people must have advised you but hopefully you see this.

I'm a yoruba boy...thick ONDO blood from royalty. My cousin got married to a lady that acts 95 per cent like your wife. Always insulting his parents at will. Her disrespect was top notch. Even at a public places, no exemption. We took a long visit to this girls Mum to complain of the bad character of her daughter which she never showed during their dating era.

Could you believe that this woman turned our report to a simple question... She asked my cousin between your wife and your mum who is more important in your life, my in love cousin choose his wife. The mother in law told him to his face that he is stupid,senseless and weak. Have it in mind, na the girl mama o.

She reminded him that he has spent more than 30 years of his life with his mum and no woman regardless can replace that...and for him not being able to defend the woman behind her back is stupidity. She told him that next time the girl misbehaves he should fix her up straight out.

So brotherly, I won't lie to you, if you continue with that woman and she ends up in the US with you, consider yourself dead and gone.
One advice...QUIT, you won't die. Tongue will wail and wag but only for few months. Remember, your life before others. You no be Jesus.

Peace.

Well, the baby could be yours or her EX, you both had sex with her around the time she got pregnant. DNA is the only time answer here. After the DNA, if the baby is yours, try talking to her and wait for 12 months if she change her ways. If not, let her go for good.

still single sha but I have to suggest
listen and call Godfrey on Wednesday from 9pm on salt FM 98.1
he will help.
op abeg no go use anger beat her o b4 she go kpai 4 ur hand finally may God help you I understand ur feelings

Jayslicky:
The first thing I would advice you to do is to go and have a DNA test for that child, with what you explained here I don't trust that your wife, she is a big time pretender and pretenders are capacable of commiting dangerous sins.

The love between you two had quenched for a long time but you refused to see it, it all started from that her birthday, she felt you really didn't take her as your most important thing in life, I think that is when she started getting closer to her ex, I suspect that your wife and ex still had a short time relationship before getting married to you, she did that because she realise her ex was not ready for marriage and she was pregnant, so she decided to get married to you.

You can both go to see a counselor and let him know where you guys are lacking in your marriage, maybe you are not doing something right that is infuriating your wife but just hope she still has any iota of love for you, if not the marriage is as good as dead.

He doesn’t need to waste double money. The US embassy will do it. If the child is not his, they will disqualify her automatically.

My concern is that what does her ex do and she does he stay.

Does he have the capacity to enter the US anytime? If yes then he should consider withdrawing her inclusion in the green card.

Jayslicky:
The first thing I would advice you to do is to go and have a DNA test for that child, with what you explained here I don't trust that your wife, she is a big time pretender and pretenders are capacable of commiting dangerous sins.

The love between you two had quenched for a long time but you refused to see it, it all started from that her birthday, she felt you really didn't take her as your most important thing in life, I think that is when she started getting closer to her ex, I suspect that your wife and ex still had a short time relationship before getting married to you, she did that because she realise her ex was not ready for marriage and she was pregnant, so she decided to get married to you.

You can both go to see a counselor and let him know where you guys are lacking in your marriage, maybe you are not doing something right that is infuriating your wife but just hope she still has any iota of love for you, if not the marriage is as good as dead.

Nice one... Still reading comments b4 I contribute

First off, your wife speaking to an ex for that long doesn't seem ideal. Nonetheless, find out why she is still talking to her ex, and why the long conversation - please ask her in the most cordial way possible. Your attitude when asking would go a long way in how she responds, and if she decides to tell you the truth.

Regarding her attitude toward you, your mum and your family, please don't read too much into it. She may be having post partum disorder. As a new and first-time mum, she may currently be a victim of her hormones without knowing it. Try to reassure her that all will be ok. Read up articles on "baby blues" or post-partum disorder with her.

Regarding your fear about how she might change when she arrives the U.S, you should not be scared. Life in North America will either bring out the best or worst in her including yourself. Just be determined to be the good husband and father.

Oh, one last thing, please take away the word "control" especially in your relationship with a spouse. Never try to control your wife or exert authority over her. Work to be the adult, if she is smart, she will respect you always for that, if she is not, she will regret her choices in the end.

Wishing you both the best.

Things like this always give me a second thought about marriage... does it worth it?

Anonymus010:
I Need The Advice Of Experienced Married Men

NB: This is not my real account, I created this account for the purpose of this issue.

Please, I need the advice of married people (especially married men). I will make the story as simple as possible and I promise not to compromise the truth to favour me in this issue.

Brief Introduction: I am a man in my late 20's. Got married last year and currently have a 3month baby.

Brief history of my relationship prior to marriage: I dated my wife for 4years before we finally tied the knot last year. I met her in the university, we were classmate in school.

Before I started dating my wife, I was dating a girl in the same class but we both agreed to separate after 1year because we were age mate and she was keen on getting married immediately after graduation which I knew I will not be ready for marriage by then (Note: No sex in the relationship, She was a virgin and because I couldn't assure her of marriage, I didn't sex her).

After the break up with my ex, I became close to my wife and we started dating. She was self sufficient as she had a source of income while in school, she supports me, gives me money, cooks and buy me food etc. She was the best woman any man can think of. I fell in love along the line and decided this is the right lady to marry.

Note: There were several backlashes from other classmates insinuating she snatched me from my ex but we scaled through all that. We dated for 2more years in school and we graduated. We dated for another 2more years post school till last year.

Brief history immediately before marriage: Everything was fine till my wife's birthday last year. I did tripple shifts at work(48hrs work non-stop) and came back a night before her birthday and slept off. I woke up 2:30am to wish her happy birthday. She got angry and told me I didnt put her in mind and that I was not the first person to wish her happy birthday (She later told me her ex wished her first at exactly 12am). I apologised to her and told her the reason I missed the time. I had just 10k, gave her 5k to do a birthday photoshoot, used about 3k to buy her goodies as salary has not been paid.

Fast forward to after 1week of the birthday, she came up with serious issue, saying she wanted a break but not total break-up for some months to put herself together. She lamented she was not getting anything from the relationship, I don't usually take her out, I didnt celebrate her birthday well for her, I didnt buy cake, I didnt buy gift etc. I apologised and pleaded with her to be patient as we had big projects before us (wedding, masters degree and family apartment) which she knew I was saving for. We settled it and had sex. After 7days, I saw a call log on her phone where she had a conversation with her ex for almost an hour between 11pm and 12am. After 1month, she missed her menses and was pregnant. I asked her if she ever saw her ex, she cried and swore that she didn't (Note: I trusted her because she is modest and she is not the sex type). So, I agreed, accepted the preg, quickly arranged an impromptu wedding, I quickly sourced for money, spent over N2million on the wedding......

THE PROBLEM:

2weeks after the weeding, my wife started abusing my family especially my mum, telling me she hated how my family behaved during the wedding. I pleaded with her not to allow this to affect our home. The insults and abuse became perpetual. My wife works from home and will give me several reasons why she cannot cook after giving her money for food stuffs once I collect salary. Its just 2 of us living in a mini flat & I wash my clothes myself, but she will give me thousands of reasons how the non-existent house shores prevent her from cooking.

After 9months, she gave birth, I asked her who she wanted to come do omugo with the baby between her mum and my mum. She opted for my mum (claimed her mum will be giving her problem). Not up to 1week that my mum came over, she has started complaining about everything she does. Despite the fact that this woman will wake up 5am, wash everybody's clothes, bath the baby but she doesnt cook. My wife started complaining about her being obligated to cook every morning because of my mum's presence(Note: she doesnt cook in the morning, if I am going to work by 8am, I will either warm a left over previous night's food or source for food outside). When the complain was becoming overwhelming to the point of her almost insulting my mum in my presence, I told her I will tell my mum to go back to her house( my mum lives in a mini flat too with my dad, so they are very comfortable). She said I shouldn't. After 1 month, my mum left. The abuse, insults and complain continued. She will nag about how my mum did when she was with us, abuse and insults my family. I will appeal to her and defend my family. My wife became complete opposite of who she was when we were dating.

The real issue at hand: We would be migrating to the US soon. Lately, I can't control my wife, anytime I don't buy her idea or wish, she will rain insults on me. Just 3days ago, she told me I don't have sense repeatedly just because she said we should go and greet her mum's pastor which I told her not now but we can go later. If I tell her to do something, she will do otherwise and give me thousand of reasons she can't do it. 2months ago, I reported all her attitudes to her mum, her mum talked to her but no change, she is getting worse. Last week, I did 24hours at work, I got home, my wife didn't cook. I got into the kitchen, made custard and placed the soup on the gas cooker. We were both in the living room. She perceived the soup was getting burnt and insulted me, telling me it was because I was not the one that dropped money for the soup, thats why I wanted to burn it (She cooked the soup with her money because my salary was delayed). She insults me at will, gives me no respect and treat me as trash.(Note: I had never cheated on her and she doesn't doubt my fidelity. Likewise, I had never suspected her of such too).

I am currently scared because I know US is women's world because I have included her and the kid as my dependents in my green card petition. I am scared for my life and career because she could go worse in the US and destroy all I have laboured for.

Please kindly advise me on what I can do to change her.

Sorry for the long write up and any grammatical errors.

The best u can do for urself is to be a strong man...
From now onwards, any time she starts nagging, rain down the house, let her see u in another mood, get very infuriated , she should see madness in you...
Baba, do this for 4 consecutive times.... If ur wife doesn't change, call me a fool!!!

U should understand women are somehow, some don't like soft men, if u show them u too soft, it becomes a problem, u have to take charge here bro, that's the only problem I see...

I'll send U a PM. Hope it helps...

it seems your wife played her card well, all she wanted was marriage. sometimes I wonder why someone will have a good man with a great plan for the future and still not respect him.

Anonymus010:
I Need The Advice Of Experienced Married Men

NB: This is not my real account, I created this account for the purpose of this issue.

Please, I need the advice of married people (especially married men). I will make the story as simple as possible and I promise not to compromise the truth to favour me in this issue.

Brief Introduction: I am a man in my late 20's. Got married last year and currently have a 3month baby.

Brief history of my relationship prior to marriage: I dated my wife for 4years before we finally tied the knot last year. I met her in the university, we were classmate in school.

Before I started dating my wife, I was dating a girl in the same class but we both agreed to separate after 1year because we were age mate and she was keen on getting married immediately after graduation which I knew I will not be ready for marriage by then (Note: No sex in the relationship, She was a virgin and because I couldn't assure her of marriage, I didn't sex her).

After the break up with my ex, I became close to my wife and we started dating. She was self sufficient as she had a source of income while in school, she supports me, gives me money, cooks and buy me food etc. She was the best woman any man can think of. I fell in love along the line and decided this is the right lady to marry.

Note: There were several backlashes from other classmates insinuating she snatched me from my ex but we scaled through all that. We dated for 2more years in school and we graduated. We dated for another 2more years post school till last year.

Brief history immediately before marriage: Everything was fine till my wife's birthday last year. I did tripple shifts at work(48hrs work non-stop) and came back a night before her birthday and slept off. I woke up 2:30am to wish her happy birthday. She got angry and told me I didnt put her in mind and that I was not the first person to wish her happy birthday (She later told me her ex wished her first at exactly 12am). I apologised to her and told her the reason I missed the time. I had just 10k, gave her 5k to do a birthday photoshoot, used about 3k to buy her goodies as salary has not been paid.

Fast forward to after 1week of the birthday, she came up with serious issue, saying she wanted a break but not total break-up for some months to put herself together. She lamented she was not getting anything from the relationship, I don't usually take her out, I didnt celebrate her birthday well for her, I didnt buy cake, I didnt buy gift etc. I apologised and pleaded with her to be patient as we had big projects before us (wedding, masters degree and family apartment) which she knew I was saving for. We settled it and had sex. After 7days, I saw a call log on her phone where she had a conversation with her ex for almost an hour between 11pm and 12am. After 1month, she missed her menses and was pregnant. I asked her if she ever saw her ex, she cried and swore that she didn't (Note: I trusted her because she is modest and she is not the sex type). So, I agreed, accepted the preg, quickly arranged an impromptu wedding, I quickly sourced for money, spent over N2million on the wedding......

THE PROBLEM:

2weeks after the weeding, my wife started abusing my family especially my mum, telling me she hated how my family behaved during the wedding. I pleaded with her not to allow this to affect our home. The insults and abuse became perpetual. My wife works from home and will give me several reasons why she cannot cook after giving her money for food stuffs once I collect salary. Its just 2 of us living in a mini flat & I wash my clothes myself, but she will give me thousands of reasons how the non-existent house shores prevent her from cooking.

After 9months, she gave birth, I asked her who she wanted to come do omugo with the baby between her mum and my mum. She opted for my mum (claimed her mum will be giving her problem). Not up to 1week that my mum came over, she has started complaining about everything she does. Despite the fact that this woman will wake up 5am, wash everybody's clothes, bath the baby but she doesnt cook. My wife started complaining about her being obligated to cook every morning because of my mum's presence(Note: she doesnt cook in the morning, if I am going to work by 8am, I will either warm a left over previous night's food or source for food outside). When the complain was becoming overwhelming to the point of her almost insulting my mum in my presence, I told her I will tell my mum to go back to her house( my mum lives in a mini flat too with my dad, so they are very comfortable). She said I shouldn't. After 1 month, my mum left. The abuse, insults and complain continued. She will nag about how my mum did when she was with us, abuse and insults my family. I will appeal to her and defend my family. My wife became complete opposite of who she was when we were dating.

The real issue at hand: We would be migrating to the US soon. Lately, I can't control my wife, anytime I don't buy her idea or wish, she will rain insults on me. Just 3days ago, she told me I don't have sense repeatedly just because she said we should go and greet her mum's pastor which I told her not now but we can go later. If I tell her to do something, she will do otherwise and give me thousand of reasons she can't do it. 2months ago, I reported all her attitudes to her mum, her mum talked to her but no change, she is getting worse. Last week, I did 24hours at work, I got home, my wife didn't cook. I got into the kitchen, made custard and placed the soup on the gas cooker. We were both in the living room. She perceived the soup was getting burnt and insulted me, telling me it was because I was not the one that dropped money for the soup, thats why I wanted to burn it (She cooked the soup with her money because my salary was delayed). She insults me at will, gives me no respect and treat me as trash.(Note: I had never cheated on her and she doesn't doubt my fidelity. Likewise, I had never suspected her of such too).

I am currently scared because I know US is women's world because I have included her and the kid as my dependents in my green card petition. I am scared for my life and career because she could go worse in the US and destroy all I have laboured for.

Please kindly advise me on what I can do to change her.

Sorry for the long write up and any grammatical errors.

Bro I’ll advice you to think twice before concluding the green card stuff.

I will write this in CAPITAL

IF YOU MAKE THE MISTAKE TO IGNORE ALL THIS AND COMPLETE THE FILING TO THE US? IF SHE DOESNT GET YOU DEPORTED EVENTUALLY BEFORE SHE SEPARATES FROM YOU THEN YOUR PARENTS PRAYERS ARE STRONG.

jeez. brother you've made every man's worst mistake.. marrying a bad wife..

Kingosytex:
Dis is really pathetic, i can feel ur pains, believe me i seriously do.

If I understood u Anonymus010, u said you never had sex with the first girl u dated because she was a virgin and u didn't want to assure her of marriage: VERDICT==> U are a nice guy with self control. U aren't like a great majority who insert their rod into any available hole.

You equally said that her ex wished her a happy birthday b4 u: VERDICT==> Okafor's law comes into play. i almost had sex with my ex, though she is married but we still have affections for each other. What if i tell you that the new born baby isn't yours? i suggest you run a DNA test to ascertain the paternity of the baby

She is very determined 2 bring u down and i am afraid to tell u dat peace might be a stranger to u until d matter is resolved. DON'T TAKE HER TO THE STATES atleast 4 now, else u are a "goner". Her heart still beats for her ex, take her for counselling both spiritual and psychological and above all take your case to God in prayer

(You've said it all)

But in addition, taking her to US now will be the greatest mistake of his life. He should have allowed her to go when she threatened.

Logobenz2:
Woman insult your family in your presence you no jam am till she collapse
Bros you dey fall hand o
Please no one should advise this kind of weak man.spits!
Who wouldn't know what to do at this point?some people dey born sha
Just look at someone's son.e be like na pap den use raise you.
Your mom comes to your own house and your wife not only mistreated her but tried to insult her in your presence?you know why?she knows you are a weak man.
That was your golden opportunity to teach her a bitter lesson that will be justified anywhere in Nigeria.
I wonder what she will do to you if you take her to the US.
Better cancel all plans of that visa,withdraw the application,divorce that woman whether the child is yours or Not,do not care!just be sending upkeep money for the child and get yourself another woman.
Jesus Christ!

Nollywood film

GrabHisBalls:
I don't pity some of you when you end up with bad wives. This your wife is everything bad. No character, no home training, no respect for elders, and you want to say you didn't notice any of these while dating even if she's the best pretender in town.

Marriage is for better, for worse. Carry your cross.

How wud he have noticed. The lady was literally buying him wen dey were dating.

My brother, Anonymus010, you're a very patient man. Honestly, I am going to ask God to give me your level of patience when I pray tonight. I honestly and sincerely don't see myself ever taking half the things you've had go thru with your wife.

As someone already said, it's prudent to get a DNA test of your baby just to make sure that the baby is really yours. Having said that, I will really be very careful about bringing such a woman to the United States. She can kick you out of your own house, take your kids, and you'll end up paying child support all your life. However, as a Christian, I will never advise you to get a divorce.


O pari

Truth be told your wife has been giving you signs and you fail to understand...

From experience she is hiding something grevious from you and at every point she reflect on it, she sparks at you...


Where is the bet9ja guy when you need him, the odd is sure, I can stake my two months salary on what the outcome will be a when you go for DNA test....
Talking from experience.

Don't try to go to US with her ooo, you may end up killing her cos she is def gonna push you to the wall and your back against the rope..

Ask for where you can do DNA...

GrabHisBalls:
I don't pity some of you when you end up with bad wives. This your wife is everything bad. No character, no home training, no respect for elders, and you want to say you didn't notice any of these while dating even if she's the best pretender in town.

Marriage is for better, for worse. Carry your cross.

Don't listen to him or her o, don't carry this cross!, your mama need you alive for house! Divorce her quick quick and never look back! Kilode!, all this Kasali for one marriage! Bikonu, it is finished!

ediko5:


The OP said matured married men... So shut up if you've got nothing reasonable to say.

All these an you stil refer to that animal as your wife

Anonymus010:
I Need The Advice Of Experienced Married Men

NB: This is not my real account, I created this account for the purpose of this issue.

Please, I need the advice of married people (especially married men). I will make the story as simple as possible and I promise not to compromise the truth to favour me in this issue.

Brief Introduction: I am a man in my late 20's. Got married last year and currently have a 3month baby.

Brief history of my relationship prior to marriage: I dated my wife for 4years before we finally tied the knot last year. I met her in the university, we were classmate in school.

Before I started dating my wife, I was dating a girl in the same class but we both agreed to separate after 1year because we were age mate and she was keen on getting married immediately after graduation which I knew I will not be ready for marriage by then (Note: No sex in the relationship, She was a virgin and because I couldn't assure her of marriage, I didn't sex her).

After the break up with my ex, I became close to my wife and we started dating. She was self sufficient as she had a source of income while in school, she supports me, gives me money, cooks and buy me food etc. She was the best woman any man can think of. I fell in love along the line and decided this is the right lady to marry.

Note: There were several backlashes from other classmates insinuating she snatched me from my ex but we scaled through all that. We dated for 2more years in school and we graduated. We dated for another 2more years post school till last year.

Brief history immediately before marriage: Everything was fine till my wife's birthday last year. I did tripple shifts at work(48hrs work non-stop) and came back a night before her birthday and slept off. I woke up 2:30am to wish her happy birthday. She got angry and told me I didnt put her in mind and that I was not the first person to wish her happy birthday (She later told me her ex wished her first at exactly 12am). I apologised to her and told her the reason I missed the time. I had just 10k, gave her 5k to do a birthday photoshoot, used about 3k to buy her goodies as salary has not been paid.

Fast forward to after 1week of the birthday, she came up with serious issue, saying she wanted a break but not total break-up for some months to put herself together. She lamented she was not getting anything from the relationship, I don't usually take her out, I didnt celebrate her birthday well for her, I didnt buy cake, I didnt buy gift etc. I apologised and pleaded with her to be patient as we had big projects before us (wedding, masters degree and family apartment) which she knew I was saving for. We settled it and had sex. After 7days, I saw a call log on her phone where she had a conversation with her ex for almost an hour between 11pm and 12am. After 1month, she missed her menses and was pregnant. I asked her if she ever saw her ex, she cried and swore that she didn't (Note: I trusted her because she is modest and she is not the sex type). So, I agreed, accepted the preg, quickly arranged an impromptu wedding, I quickly sourced for money, spent over N2million on the wedding......

THE PROBLEM:

2weeks after the weeding, my wife started abusing my family especially my mum, telling me she hated how my family behaved during the wedding. I pleaded with her not to allow this to affect our home. The insults and abuse became perpetual. My wife works from home and will give me several reasons why she cannot cook after giving her money for food stuffs once I collect salary. Its just 2 of us living in a mini flat & I wash my clothes myself, but she will give me thousands of reasons how the non-existent house shores prevent her from cooking.

After 9months, she gave birth, I asked her who she wanted to come do omugo with the baby between her mum and my mum. She opted for my mum (claimed her mum will be giving her problem). Not up to 1week that my mum came over, she has started complaining about everything she does. Despite the fact that this woman will wake up 5am, wash everybody's clothes, bath the baby but she doesnt cook. My wife started complaining about her being obligated to cook every morning because of my mum's presence(Note: she doesnt cook in the morning, if I am going to work by 8am, I will either warm a left over previous night's food or source for food outside). When the complain was becoming overwhelming to the point of her almost insulting my mum in my presence, I told her I will tell my mum to go back to her house( my mum lives in a mini flat too with my dad, so they are very comfortable). She said I shouldn't. After 1 month, my mum left. The abuse, insults and complain continued. She will nag about how my mum did when she was with us, abuse and insults my family. I will appeal to her and defend my family. My wife became complete opposite of who she was when we were dating.

The real issue at hand: We would be migrating to the US soon. Lately, I can't control my wife, anytime I don't buy her idea or wish, she will rain insults on me. Just 3days ago, she told me I don't have sense repeatedly just because she said we should go and greet her mum's pastor which I told her not now but we can go later. If I tell her to do something, she will do otherwise and give me thousand of reasons she can't do it. 2months ago, I reported all her attitudes to her mum, her mum talked to her but no change, she is getting worse. Last week, I did 24hours at work, I got home, my wife didn't cook. I got into the kitchen, made custard and placed the soup on the gas cooker. We were both in the living room. She perceived the soup was getting burnt and insulted me, telling me it was because I was not the one that dropped money for the soup, thats why I wanted to burn it (She cooked the soup with her money because my salary was delayed). She insults me at will, gives me no respect and treat me as trash.(Note: I had never cheated on her and she doesn't doubt my fidelity. Likewise, I had never suspected her of such too).

I am currently scared because I know US is women's world because I have included her and the kid as my dependents in my green card petition. I am scared for my life and career because she could go worse in the US and destroy all I have laboured for.

Please kindly advise me on what I can do to change her.

Sorry for the long write up and any grammatical errors.

Firstly, run a DNA test on the kid.

whether d kid b urs or not, second tin to do is divorce her.

women are evils.
The reason why I can never date a girl talk more of marry one.

baddosky1:


The spousal abuse the OP is going through is the crux of the matter and not the type of visa he got! It's ok to be a misandrist if you want to but the way you go about it matters by not sounding like a dunce

BarrElChapo:
jeez. brother you've made every man's worst mistake.. marrying a bad wife..

ñ unfortunately everything with vagina is bad.

Your wife is most likely focused on her ex and like someone earlier pointed out, she got married to you cos her ex wasn't ready. Go get a DNA test done.
HER EX IS PROBABLY DOING WELL FINANCIALLY NOW AND SHE'S REGRETTING MARRYING YOU HENCE, HER ATTITUDE. Get this movie CONFESSIONS OF A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR BY TYLER PERRY and specifically ask her to watch using earphones so every word would sink in. it's a good movie especially for ladies that don't value what they have.
I live in the U.S my brother and believe me, you don't want a woman giving issues here. A woman can technically ruin your life here easily so if this attitude continues, I'll advise you divorce her ass before leaving for the States.

Please end the marriage, for your peace of mind.DON'T u dare take her to U.S she will take all ur properties away

Serve her divorce papers and move out of the house to a friend's place or anywhere you can afford.


Sit back and enjoy her running around trying to make amends.

Do a DNA test for that child. If you find out the child isn't yours go ahead and divorce her, (don't be afraid).

If you make amends, the marriage will never be the same again.

Remove the monkeys hands from the soup before it changes to human hands o.If you don't treat this issue and place her where she belongs, you may not leave to tell the rest story and Mainwhile remember that her ex is still very much available. COMMON SENSE IS NOT COMMON!

Marriage is not suppose to be for better and for worst. Not do or die affair, God save me from karachika...oyes

I don't mean 2 insult u,but U are just too soft and blind 4 my liking.

Three things I got from the whole story.
1. Op your wife cannot respect you if she is the one buying g food for the home. Nothing g weakens a woman's respect like when you a not living up to responsibility as a man.
2. You were the wife to her at the onset cause she funds you,cooks and even clothes you. You never sold any vision of your life to her. Nothing commands respect like results that's why she can tell you that you don't have sense. May be she take better decisions than you. You need to develop yourself.
3. Your wife is being distracted by somebody. Such can pollute and manipulate a woman's behavior. She now begins to see you as trash. You need to get to the root of the matter. Find out who that is, why and how long so you can recover your wife. Else, you cannot change her except you find the root cause of her attitude and deal with it once and for all.
What she does is just a symptom of an existing problem. Not the problem itself, find out the problem.

I think everything started from u, keeping a home takes alot, u have been weak n always apologize, there are times u will intentionally know u did wrong but insist not to agree bcus u need to be firm n be the boss.
Be a little bit tougher u give her too much leverage n apologies, u r such a nice guys, nice guys end up hurt , wake up shake off ur weakness not kindness n act.
Do u even know some ladies love men who are also in charge n can control them well? Keep n fix ur home... God give u direction.

Mizwisdom:
No perfect marriage, you've known your wife before now, learn to deal with your differences and keep your lives off social media

Stupid and dumb advise from a gutter bitch - I guessed right. You can as well shut your e-gutter mouth off social media.

DNA

DNA

DNA

DNA