My Defence: It Was Not Our Fault
Written by: Oghenero Ezaza

As children when we watched foreign movies we used to call someone ACTOR and another BOSE. Our school teachers began to tell us it was wrong and stupid. Well it might be, but it was not our fault and this is my defence.
Growing up as a child I did not have a TV Set in my father’s house, but everybody in the street knew there was no movie, Nigerian or foreign, that I had not watched. Then it was not an issue to spend an entire day in your neighbour’s house. There was much love and trust among neighbours. So once a new movie was out, I was always one of the first to watch it even though I did not have a TV set in my own house. Now that’s ironical. Once there was an argument involving a movie they come to me for clarification. I was the authority. I could quote speeches from movies word for word. Don’t dare me. Well today it is not so anymore, my interest for movies already died and buried. Back then I would spend an entire day with Captain Rufus watching movies. Now let me specially appreciate Late Captain Rufus Usumero aka Uncle Joe who took me for a son. Most of the movies I boast of were watched in his house. Captain Rufus never had any business with Nigerian movies, hence all the movies I watched with him and his son Alvan were foreign, especially American. All the American movies took the same pattern. Arnold Swatziniger’s first movie “Commando” which gave him that nickname was not left out. He was a hero, a strong warrior, who was the target of some bad guys. To cut a long story short he was the ACTOR. He had a good friend (I can’t remember names now, it was a long time ago, a very long time. I was in primary school then). He and his friend became enemies. Commando was the good one (the ACTOR was always the good one) while his friend was the bad guy, who then wanted him dead. Of course his former friend, now enemy was the BOSE (The BOSE was always the bad guy). That was the pattern. All the movies always had a good guy who was fighting a just course. That was always our man, he was the ACTOR. Then there was always another guy, a very wicked guy, whose only ambition in life was to kill the good guy. This other guy was the BOSE. No movie ever failed us. No movie ever changed the rules. And that was why the words ACTOR and BOSE were very important and necessary in dealing with foreign movies. The movie gets to the point where the ACTOR and BOSE finally find the opportunity to settle their scores once and for all, face to face. This is called THE LAST FIGHT. Every American movie had one. It must be between the ACTOR and the BOSE and this fight always ended the movie. This is what literature calls the climax. Of Course the ACTOR must win this fight, or else he was not the ACTOR. But despite this certainty of prediction the producers still did their best to make it interesting by letting the BOSE beat the hell out the ACTOR and in fact almost kill him. But there is one more rule: ACTOR NOR DEY DIE FOR FILM. This meant the ACTOR could never be killed in the movie. Yes, or else he was not the ACTOR. So after the BOSE had beaten the ACTOR to pulp, the ACTOR will definitely still manage to kill the BOSE. Usually the beating, the ACTOR received was to arouse pity on the part of the viewers and to remind us of how wicked the BOSE was. So after beating the life out of the ACTOR how does the ACTOR always managed to still kill the BOSE. This feat was achieved through another concept known as CHARGE. I still don’t know if this was meant to be some spiritual power or something. But you see, as the BOSE was beating the ACTOR and almost killing him, suddenly the ACTOR got vexed and suddenly he would receive some supernatural power from heaven or somewhere else. This was the point when we would say the ACTOR don CHARGE or e don vex. And once this happened it was finished for the BOSE. The BOSE would never be able to lift his hand on the ACTOR again. It was the ACTOR that was almost dead some seconds ago that would start beating the BOSE till the BOSE died. And the death of the BOSE settled all scores and ended the film. In some cases they would do it in such a beautiful way that the ACTOR would remember something, maybe what his father told him when he was a child or some other thing. And once he remembered that thing he would suddenly CHARGE. In the movie ‘King of the Kick Boxer’ it was when the ACTOR’s friend came to the scene and after the ACTOR spoke with his girlfriend that he CHARGE. This rule that all movies must have ACTOR and BOSE never applied to Nigerian movies because in Nigerian movies then they didn’t fought wars. It was all best seller. There was only one foreign movie we all collectively agreed that had no ACTOR and BOSE. When I say “we all” I am referring to the association of Nigeria Kpako Children. And that movie was the movie acted on the life and times of Jesus Christ which we simply called Jesus Christ Film. That movie was the movie we simply agreed was the only oyibo film wey nor get ACTOR AND BOSE.
As the years passed by, probably to avoid boredom and lack of interest, the producers of foreign movies began to add some more spice. Like the rule that ACTOR NOR DEY DIE was tempered with. But this was done very few times and with great care or else you will just ruin everything. And in fact if ACTOR decided to die he must make sure he had killed the BOSE first. This was a must, because if he died without killing the Bose who will now kill the BOSE. In fact that meant he was not the ACTOR in the first place. So he must kill the BOSE first then he could die if he wanted to. At least he had fulfilled his primary assignment. The BOSE must not kill him, never. This was the case in the movie titled “They Live”. After the ACTOR killed the BOSE and settled the quarrel but just before the movie ended the ACTOR died out the fatal injuries he had sustained during the strong beating which usually come before the CHARGE. In this film the ACTOR really suffered o. The BOSE had many followers and they were very strong. They kpo kpo the hell out the poor ACTOR we come dey sorry for am nor be small thing, they even shot him with a gun. But of course we were not scared that he would die because we knew the rule. He could not die or else he was not the ACTOR. Then suddenly with all the injuries and even gunshot the ACTOR suddenly CHARGED. Trust ACTOR na, Oya na so he kill the BOSE and all his entourage. We were waiting to see how he would survive but he died peacefully knowing that having killed the BOSE he had saved all the good people that he had been fighting for. This was also what happened in the movie “Gladiators”.
Then with time another thing was also introduced. You know the BOSE was always stronger than the ACTOR but after CHARGING the ACTOR always manage to kill the BOSE. Later this style was improved upon. The BOSE now became a lazy man who only had control over some strong people. Then there would be a very strong guy who would be his next in command, who always protected the BOSE from the ACTOR and always attack the ACTOR whenever the BOSE sent him. We quickly welcomed this new guy and gave him his own title: ASSISTANT BOSE. Now come to think of it, all these names, it was not like we held a conference where all these names and titles were decided but we just knew it. Once you say ACTOR, BOSE, ASSISTANT BOSE, LAST FIGHT, CHARGE every kpako child in Warri knew exactly what you were talking about. I am sure every child in Nigeria too. A movie like Hard Target by Van Damme had ASSISTANT BOSE in the person of Orlando the best friend of the BOSE who by now was now known as REAL BOSE. Yes, now that there is now ASSISTANT BOSE we upgraded the name of BOSE to REAL BOSE. There is this popular Asian actor we called ‘EkULIS’. He was always playing the part of ASSISTANT BOSE in all his movies. Now since the ASSISANT BOSE only takes instruction from the REAL BOSE but was always physically stronger than the REAL BOSE, THE LAST FIGHT now became between the ASSISTANT BOSE and the ACTOR. This is because once the ACTOR kills the ASSISTANT BOSE killing the REAL BOSE was no longer a problem. So the LAST FIGHT was now between the ACTOR and the ASSISTANT BOSE. A more recent movie like “Columbiana” took this format. The ACTOR fought and killed the ASSISTANT BOSE in an interesting LAST FIGHT. After that there was nothing interesting about the death of the REAL BOSE, in fact he started running the moment the ASSISTANT BOSE died knowing his own was finished, but he even blindly ran into his own death. That was to tell you how daft the REAL BOSE could be once the ASSISTANT BOSE was no more.
Then with time too, movie producers began to realize that the ACTOR too needed an ASSISTANT ACTOR. The ASSISTANT ACTOR usually came in the guise of a friend to the ACTOR or a brother to the ACTOR. Whichever way his work was to support the REAL or MAIN ACTOR (as we now called him) but never to take his shine. Yes the ASSISTANT ACTOR must never make it difficult for us to know who the MAIN ACTOR was. He must always give all the glory to the MAIN ACTOR but he must do everything including giving up his life to save the MAIN ACTOR. Yes the ASSISTANT ACTOR could even die to save the MAIN ACTOR. Also his death will further prove that he was never the MAIN ACTOR or else he for nor die before the BOSE. In fact his death will now make the MAIN ACTOR to CHARGE and go and kill all the BOSE. Yes the BOSE could be a group too. But there must be a REAL BOSE, ASSISTANT BOSE could be optional. A movie like “They Live” which I talked about had ASSISTANT ACTOR. Also a style where a movie had TWO ACTOR emerged. This was different from the concept of ASSISTANT ACTOR. In this case two people would be ACTOR at the same time. If you have not noticed Nigeria pidgin give no place for plural or past tense. Hence if they are two it is TWO ACTOR (not actors). This was the case in the movie “Tango and Cash”. In this movie there were TWO ACTOR in the movie. One was not ASSISTANT ACTOR, no. the two of them were TWO ACTOR together. In this case the BOSE usually have many followers maybe an entire army. Hence the TWO ACTOR always have a big task. Together they would fight all the BOSE till they defeat them and get to the REAL BOSE and kill him. It was not a rule but films that had TWO ACTOR usually had ASSISTANT BOSE making the REAL BOSE to be a lazy man but who always had a large army at his command who always protected him very well.
This was the format of all movies then and this was the reason for these names and titles and we perfectly understood them and using these names made everything easy because all the movies took this same format. I know things have changed pretty much now and perhaps these names and titles may not be needed anymore, I can’t really speak for this generation perhaps because my interest in movies dropped drastically largely due to responsibilities, hustles and troubles. But when I have the time I still enjoy movies they are a wonderful world. But at that time too they didn’t act movies to mislead the world, they acted movies based on realities and to teach moral lessons and help us brainstorm and improve our lives.
So this is my defence on behalf of Naija kpako children and I repeat, it was not our fault. We gave the names according to what we watched in the movies and the names and titles never failed us.

Oghenero Ezaza is the Cordinator of Warri Literary Society and the President of Isoko Literary Forum. He is an OAP with Kpoko FM (100.5) Warri, Nigeria. He has published a collection of poems titled: Reflections. He is also a spoken word poet and Gospel comedian.