am Emmanuel by name, at age 24, never dated any girl in my life (since i was given birth to), done with with school, currently serving now, let me just say, I never had time for girls, was the serious type, because I no what am chasing, looking forward in life, my dreams and expectation, and his grace has always been upon me. so I guess, maybe having problem with girls, because am the shy type and am scared of girls, don't know how to talk to girls, for any possible chances of getting a gf, it get screwed up, like they say for every disappointment there is always a blessing,so not having any relationship with girls or anything to do with girls during my school day, made me to come out with good grade ( 2.1 in petroleum engineering), but sometimes I feel that emptiness in me, especially when I see the I love, I feel bad and sad because I don't know how to approach her, someone once told me of recent that I should not date or have anything to do with Nigeria girls (African girls), because I have plans of travelling abroad after my services or stay in Nigeria to work, that my better half is not in these country ( actually a pastor), so i said amen, but I have this mentality that girls, most especially Africans, what they are after is money unlike the whites after true love, that y sometimes I don't trust them, like my friend would say love died in 1982, so I believe love does not exist anymore most especially in Africa, my priority now, is to concentrate and focus on my dreams and goals in life, because when ur wealth, rich and successful, they will be over you, I mean the beautiful and the finest of all girls in the world ( u be the sheet and flies pestering u), u as the sheet and flies as the girls, or maybe I was never meant to date an African girl, actually not the first time they are telling me this, have been told times without number, but being lonely now is killing me and don't no wat to do, I don't have friends, don't like making friends, I need help, serious help, now in my room all alone as I am typing this, with sadness all over me, I need help, can I trust the girls in Nigeria, am confused.

Same story everyday. Relationship, relationship, relationship.

Anyway, click this link and see the solution https://www.nairaland.com/5259717/

Modified:

Now, I read your post, let me reply accordingly with some details.

Nigerian girls are worth it. Sadly, most Nigerian men are unexposed, so they think it's all about money.

I have lacked money and I have seen money. I have dated white, Asian and Africans and I'll tell you the truth.

My first year abroad, as a student, I was a nice guy. All the black girls, white girls, and Asian girls didn't like me. Why? Because I was too nice and needy.

Despite being the best student in class, they didn't like me. I was skinny and intelligent, but got no game.

Going to year 2, I hit the gym with frustration and in less than 2 months, I was ripped. They started liking me for my muscular body, yet no relationship.

Guess what? Everything changed when I finally switched from Mr. Nice Guy to Mr. Bad Boy. Ever since, I have never spent a dime on a lady. They do the spending. My first iPhone ever was bought by extremely beautiful Asian girl. Why? Because I finally got the game and the balls.

The pretty white girls, black girls, and Asian girls were the ones struggling to date me. It's not about the money, but self-development and being an alpha male who doesn't give a fûck.

Money is good to have, but it's disastrous to use money to lure women to like you. You'll regret. Forget what that pastor told you and learn how women work before you go abroad.

For me, before traveling abroad, I was a nice guy, but before I came back, I wasn't. Being a bad boy or a good-bad guy is not about carrying guns or doing drugs, but about NEVER being a pushover or being controlled by a woman or even your fellow men.

As I am today, a woman can't dare control me neither can my fellow man. That is the type of man you should be, else, people will use you until you become depressed and frustrated.

Today, I have written lots of books on this subject to save men from relationship depression and know how to understand women.

The first book I want you to read is Mr. Friendzone. That book will change your life. After that, read ChatDíctéd.

...

click on my moniker and read my threads.

I gat your back.

Na who never comot Nigeria De say we babes r gold diggers , I hope u DA see white women de break up with billionaires just to get fair share of their wealth. Those people de love fine,but if dem do u u go catch witch. Whites girls are generous and they love fully, but e no mean say u no go drop money.have u heard of child support? If yankee girls de independent u for no de hear of child support. Only their old women can give u love without wanting money. No mind that fake pastor telling u ur wife no de here. Thats how they talk rubbish. Nigerian girls are the best for me.just get a good one wey head de down.

About ur shyness in women, just be flirty get used to them, go to parties, the malls, excuse them and have a conversation,from there u will see its easy.

just get along with the girls... dont set the dating thing as a goal u want to achieve. the moment u become conscious and aware of that need for a romantic affair, u begin to panic and tremble @ the sight of ur lady crush. just start on a friendly note, dnt rush! ur nerves will settle as ur friendship matures, then it wouldnt be a big deal having her as ur date.

...and dont forget to;

Work on ur self-esteem
a high level of self-esteem will boost ur confidence.



THANK ME LATER !!!

Start by using I'M instead of AM c'mon

You're at a critical point in your life where you should be laying a foundation for your future, this shouldn't bother you... Put more energy into growing financially, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. Nobody should be responsible for your completeness, be self sufficient, and let your friends/spouse compliment you.

Lemme share a true life experience with you. It happened to a deeper life church member who paid d dowry of a lady 5years older than him since deeper life members would rather marry older people or other tribes than go out of their church to get a spouse. They were yet to do their white wedding when he left for overseas. He got there and started lamenting to his family members so seriously that he chose not to come home again. You know why? He was coming across so many single young Nigerian ladies who just finished their medical and nursing degrees as well as masters and phd. He regretted he had married an older and fatter OND holder back home just before he left. He went there for masters. Out of fear that he may not come home since he had overstayed the time he promised, his mother in-law admitted later that she was the one that used juju to bring him back cus they thought he wasn't going to come back and his wife here is getting more aged. He was deployed back and now struggling to make ends meet.

Though you need the experience. In fact you can actually date girls without telling them your plans of career or to go abroad. It's d lie you arrange in thier brain that they'll believe but it takes a lot of experiences to do that and you're just 24 and inexperienced..you won't be able to handle it yet especially the emotional manipulation which they're all good in doing. You shouldn't experience any emotional problems at this stage that you need to stay focused cus they have no good to offer to say the truth. Nigerian girls only think of the goodies to obtain in a relationship and nothing to give or any sacrifices to make, including the so called churchy types. The sincere ones will even run away from you cus they'll say you will forget them once you go...it's always about them them them throughout life even in marriage... they have nothing good for you. If you hide your prosperity plans and prospects from them, that's when you'll see their real attitude, if they know ur plans to go abroad, they'll pretend, get pregnant for you, complicate ur tender heart and use juju to shatter your dreams.

As for the loneliness, get call girls or go to brothels to keep body and soul together at least for now (now you know one of the reasons why prostitutes are necessary in d society) To be frank with you, according to my relatives there and many other people that go abroad often, there are many Nigerian single ladies with great academic achievements in their early and late 20s, even 30s with thier families based there with them. My elder bro who was a banker here married a doctor when he got there. They just had thier first child and my parents flew there to congratulate him. So stay focused and whatever you need to learn from women, you'll learn it from women with the right mentality over there.

Oluromantic:
Lemme share a true life experience with you. It happened to a deeper life church member who paid d dowry of a lady 5years older than him since deeper life members would rather marry older people or other tribes than go out of their church to get a spouse. They were yet to do their white wedding when he left for overseas. He got there and started lamenting to his family members so seriously that he chose not to come home again. You know why? He was coming across so many single young Nigerian ladies who just finished their medical and nursing degrees as well as masters and phd. He regretted he had married an older and fatter OND holder back home just before he left. He went there for masters. Out of fear that he may not come home since he had overstayed the time he promised, his mother in-law admitted later that she was the one that used juju to bring him back cus they thought he wasn't going to come back and his wife here is getting more aged. He was deployed back and now struggling to make ends meet.

Though you need the experience. In fact you can actually date girls without telling them your plans of career or to go abroad. It's d lie you arrange in thier brain that they'll believe but it takes a lot of experiences to do that and you're just 24 and inexperienced..you won't be able to handle it yet especially the emotional manipulation which they're all good in doing. You shouldn't experience any emotional problems at this stage that you need to stay focused cus they have no good to offer to say the truth. Nigerian girls only think of the goodies to obtain in a relationship and nothing to give or any sacrifices to make, including the so called churchy types. The sincere ones will even run away from you cus they'll say you will forget them once you go...it's always about them them them throughout life even in marriage... they have nothing good for you. If you hide your prosperity plans and prospects from them, that's when you'll see their real attitude, if they know ur plans to go abroad, they'll pretend, get pregnant for you, complicate ur tender heart and use juju to shatter your dreams.

As for the loneliness, get call girls or go to brothels to keep body and soul together at least for now (now you know one of the reasons why prostitutes are necessary in d society) To be frank with you, according to my relatives there and many other people that go abroad often, there are many Nigerian single ladies with great academic achievements in their early and late 20s, even 30s. My elder bro who was a banker here married a doctor when he got there. They just had thier first child and my parents flew there to congratulate him. I'm hopeful to go soon too. So stay focused and whatever you need to learn from women, you'll learn it from women with the right mentality over there.

my advice for you bro, it seems you are not the social type well for now I will advice you to first start with making friends with people both male and female so you can overcome you social anxiety ,I will advice you to roll with badboys especially womanizers a little but please don't copy their lifestyle like smoking and heavy drinking just learn how they watch out for how they woo women,roll with them constantly ,go to clubs,parties with them and don't be afraid to ask questions from them ,I bet you with time you will get that bad boy mentality and you wunt know were girls will be coming from.

but for the moment I think you are desperate and needy women hate that shiii and they will sense it and reject you. most of us were once like you .what you lack right now is experience and emotional control ,learn how to control your emotions because the game of women is not for the emotionally weak.

missimelda01:
Start by using I'M instead of AM c'mon

You're at a critical point in your life where you should be laying a foundation for your future, this shouldn't bother you... Put more energy into growing financially, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. Nobody should be responsible for your completeness, be self sufficient, and let your friends/spouse compliment you.

wow

bigpriik:


my advice for you bro, it seems you are not the social type well for now I will advice you to first start with making friends with people both male and female so you can overcome you social anxiety ,I will advice you to roll with badboys especially womanizers a little but please don't copy their lifestyle like smoking and heavy drinking just learn how they watch out for how they woo women,roll with them constantly ,go to clubs,parties with them and don't be afraid to ask questions from them ,I bet you with time you will get that bad boy mentality and you wunt know were girls will be coming from.

but for the moment I think you are desperate and needy women hate that shiii and they will sense it and reject you. most of us were once like you .what you lack right now is experience and emotional control ,learn how to control your emotions because the game of women is not for the emotionally weak.

wow!!!

Ok, u have said it all in ur post = when ur wealth, rich and successful, they will be over you, I mean the beautiful and the finest of all girls in the world.

So y bordering urself ? If ur are lonely y not go to the nearest bar run some bottles of Heineken with pepper soup and feel alryt.

Having a girl friend is not an achievement, by the d way u don't know the peace u are enjoying now just wait and have a girlfriend then u will understand that sometimes it's cool to be once self.

chenzen:
wow!!!

ooow sorry I misquoted it was meant for the op.

vibbb:
Ok, u have said it all in ur post = when ur wealth, rich and successful, they will be over you, I mean the beautiful and the finest of all girls in the world.

So y bordering urself ? If ur are lonely y not go to the nearest bar run some bottles of Heineken with pepper soup and feel alryt.

Having a girl friend is not an achievement, by the d way u don't know the peace u are enjoying now just wait and have a girlfriend then u will understand that sometimes it's cool to be once self.

is everybody destined to be rich? will everyone one get rich in the future ,

It's ur choice to choose bro; either to be rich or not.
The ball is in ur court.

bigpriik:


is everybody destined to be rich? will everyone one get rich in the future ,

vibbb:
It's ur choice to choose bro; either to be rich or not.
The ball is in ur court.

If its by choice I bet you will be too rich to even have time for nairaland.las las only 20% or less of humans will attain riches and fame the rest will remain average or below everyon can never be rich it is the law of nature and it will be like that forever even you know this ,as for me attracting women is based on what you have if you don't have money use your personality simple.

bigpriik:


my advice for you bro, it seems you are not the social type well for now I will advice you to first start with making friends with people both male and female so you can overcome you social anxiety ,I will advice you to roll with badboys especially womanizers a little but please don't copy their lifestyle like smoking and heavy drinking just learn how they watch out for how they woo women,roll with them constantly ,go to clubs,parties with them and don't be afraid to ask questions from them ,I bet you with time you will get that bad boy mentality and you wunt know were girls will be coming from.

but for the moment I think you are desperate and needy women hate that shiii and they will sense it and reject you. most of us were once like you .what you lack right now is experience and emotional control ,learn how to control your emotions because the game of women is not for the emotionally weak.

It seems and you're advising. You're confused and unexposed. You offer advice when you're sure of what's going on.

Does being extremely social and mixing with bad boys cancel the risk involved in it? Socializing with womanizers does not cancel the news of accidental pregnancy after you just got visa. Ive had a lot of girls and having seen it all, I still advise that nothing compares to a bright career. Fuccking women up and down is secondary fun. It should not deplete your primary glory. For a 24 year old boy with such a plan, what I said is best for him.

Oluromantic:

It seems and you're advising. You're confused and unexposed. You offer advice when you're sure of what's going on.

Does being extremely social and mixing with bad boys cancel the risk involved in it? Socializing with womanizers does not cancel the news of accidental pregnancy after you just got visa. Ive had a lot of girls and having seen it all, I still advise that nothing compares to a bright career. Fuccking women up and down is secondary fun. It should not deplete your primary glory. For a 24 year old boy with such a plan, what I said is best for him.

bro before you crucify me the advice was meant for the op in misquoted you calm down.

Am Emmannuel.... am 24...... am scared of girls.....am done with school.... am serving..... done with Primary school?... and serving what??..I know you don't mean NYSC. Even Primary School dropouts here on NL never begin a sentence let alone a thread with common letter.... but here you are claiming graduate but writing like an illiterate. You should be more ashamed of this your writing than speaking to girls. Ext time just write and don't ever hint that you finished school..... allll your mistakes will be overlooked.

@ topic..... guys being shy to speak to girls is common... worldwide. It's worse for you because in your mind ... Nigerian/Black girls are all bad..... White girls are all good.... loving and caring. You need to migrate... go to a country with White girls ... you should not be talking to Black girls period. Your god pastor should advise you on where to find good girls...and did you check?--is his wife Black?...and if he has no wife/fiancee.... do you know if he is gay?...you need to watch your back. Your mind us against Black girls.... leave them alone.

Honestly, this story is too long.
You should have re-arranged the story to make it readable.

It is not good for my eyes. Lost my glasses.
Maybe someone shld help us summarize pls.

Please leave Naija girls alone, as you cannot trust them, and you feel they have nothing to offer you.
Let the men who trust them date them please.
Since you're team #foreigngirls , stick with your beliefs.