I need advice. I'm a 37 year old African-American female. I met a Nigerian man thought a friend. In Dec I'm to fly to Nigeria and married this man. This is something I want to do, however I'm scare. My family and friends are giving me negative advice. They have a fear that I will not make it back home. I will travel there with my friend that interduce me to my future husband. For the most part my mind is made up. My future husband and friend has been reassuring me that I will be safe. I love dating Nigerian men. But most Nigerian men that in the USA are married and have families waiting to join them. I want my own family. most of all I want my own Nigerian Husband. Can someone offer any advice? I just afraid of going so far away. The marriage doesn't scare me.

Jst take yur time to get to kwn in and out

There's absolutely nothing to be scared of. Your fam and friends talk mainly out of ignorance and of course that's fed by the CNN's and co of this world. People travel to 'strange' lands all the time and this with no incident, and even to this land called Nigeria.

Here's my advice.

1. Do more of what you've just done here. ASK questions. People fear what they don't know. Ask any one knowledgeable in this matter. You basically want to be prepared. Better still, find a Nigerian in the states that you know relatively well and ask him/her to introduce you to a relative/friend back here they know and trust. Then take time out to question this person/get advice over the coming weeks and months.

2. See if you can find someone who has done the same thing so you can learn their experience. I believe you might find such people on this forum, otherwise you will find them in other forums.

All the best

i know people who have done the same but the problem is the husband in most cases get stuck in Nigeria waiting to secure visa to go to America - this u need to consider, because getting visa for him is not an easy game. Forget all the story about not making it back alive - it is all bull shit.

Who are you? You don't sound too smart. From your story, it seems a Nigerian guy just wants to take you to Nigeria for an "arranged marriage" and use you to bring over a guy to the states. What kind of a woman has a goal of "getting her own Nigerian husband". BTW, there are a lot of single Nigerian guys around the U.S, but they're probably not in your class, so you wont meet them. If you decide to go to Nigeria, you can safely take the next flight back to the US when your arranged marriage don't work. You're not going to roam the jungle. The only danger wont be worst than getting shot in the projects. I'm sure you can relate to that.

@BlackManga

u r a mango for offering such a shameful advice. u r sad because she is not going to Nigeria for u - u dont even know here, how come u speak of her class? nin compoop like u.

I agree with some most of Blackmamba's posts, apart from the name calling.


@poster,

Why would you agree to marry you have not even met? At least get to know him first before aggree to marry. Men are not trophies, definately not nigerian men, most of them like to be the boss.

While you met through a friend of his, what if this is a set-up and you are being used to help the guy get a visa to america? Please thread carefully. You are the one that would move to Nigeria, a place you are not familiar with. In terms of security, as long as you stay with someone you know, you should be fine.

I know love can be blind but not at the expense of your senses!!!

After marriage are you coming back to the US or you're staying with him in Naija?. If you have made up your mind to proceed with the marriage, talk to a good lwayer to advise you on the procedure of visa, or better, talk to someone who has been in similar situation. Note of warnings if u not be Ame citizen, it go dey very long b/4 then go give am visa. Also remember say na Naija man you won go marry, make u study how Naija man dey treat wife around you very well. U know with most Naija brothers 4 home, women no dey argue with them. No think say na Ame u dey u gotta speak yo mind or u wanna do what u gotta do. That no dey work for brothers 4 home o. I pray that God will bless your decision and wish you a successful and happy married life.

Good idea n Beest of luck

You need to know more about thus guy. What does he do for a living? How old is he? Where is he from?
Cos to be honest with you, not all nigerian guys want to use american girls for papers. Some are very much for real.
Please don't be in a hurry at all. Maybe you should come to Nigeria to get to know him better, then go back to america before coming back for marriage.
Good luck to you and make sure you have fun when you get there

why not take your time a bit? you met in Dec, also see if he can come on a visit, maybe a month visit. then at least you've both met once.

next you could plan to go to nigeria for the marriage after his visiting, Just be careful, he maybe a nice guy but be sensible a bit, get to know him more. let him try to come visit you where you are.
both of you could work on that (his visit to where you live)

Thanks for the opinions and advice. Me and this man spend hours on the telephone for the last five months. He is a civic worker in Nigeria. OF course he want to come to America to continue his education. I have made up my mind that I will visit for 3 weeks in August. Maybe there were a few things that I left out. But I'm far from being ignorant. I'm a RN so most of the people I deal with and work with is educated. I know the situation about the green card. As we all know there's lots of people that want to come chase the American dream. Our marriage will be beneficial for the both of us. It very important to me that he come to America. By the way I always avoid the projects haven't you heard they can be very dangerous

good. go to Nigeria to visit first, see how things are for yourself in terms of his personality. make sure you open your eyes well. if you even have good friends, you will be able to know (they might tell you directly or indirectly) if he has previous engagements or secret  . again, make sure you put your eyes and ear for ground so you know everything going on around you and him, once you feel you are contented with this visit, then the marriage should come but don't rush anything okay. trust not your own understanding.

I wish you all the goodies 

***Good Advice from you Omoge the best cook on NL

thank you my pal, BTW you never even taste my meals you dey talk,

Your meal is your word's u know can we chat in Yahoo plz.

i'd prefer AIM or ICQ

Ok i.c but try and e-mail me, _{its @yahoo.com}

Cheers.