MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

Oga, I did not read about your daughters. This complicates issues. The same thing happened to a friend of mine and he dumped his lady.

Its you daughters I'm worried about. They'll be left shorchanged no matter what happens. They'll be pissed with their mum eventually for ruining the home. Their lives will be in limbo. You'll remarry and your wife may not treat them well. Your wife may remarry and their stepfather may be hostile to them, even sleep with the them. You may request they stay with your parents in the village. It won't be easy. They may never get the quality of care any child deserves

teesquad007:
Bro, to be frank, you need to grow up and be a man. Its not everytime that issues happen that you rush to tell her parent. Woman or ladies can be funny a times especially when there attention has shifted to some else. She sees the guy often more than you & he has been keeping her company. Her eyes will be open soon when the guy finished with her as only a few single guys will marry a single mother.My advice to you is to just collect your daughter & take her to your parent or sister & free her for life cos I trust, she will come back to beg you. Think twice unless u continue eating what someone has eaten.

Advise heeded,thanks boss.

MYDEBBY:
Situation report house,the mum of my wife called me that why am I not sending the school fees of my daughter as my wife have told her,I replied by saying I will change my daughters school or probably transfer the money to the school account directly.She said OK. Meanwhile the meeting for this weekend scheduled between i, herself and her parents. her mum pleaded with me to go and carry them with my car down to the villa.But initially my wife said I should go on my own but now her mum said I should bring them along.Should I adhere knowing fully well my wife said she has no business with me again.

Mynd 44
Obinoscopy
Lalasticlala

Pls do the needful,thanks.

God, this one is blue-pilled drunk forever. Look at the way, a small manipulator and her family has rendered a hard working man, weak.

As a man, this humiliation is painful

Ubunja

Harddon

Dude, the lady has already moved on.

Sending your wife away to school can cause such. She sees these girls at school flexing and realises the youth she missed. She then wants to do some catching up.
Worse if the hubby at home is not that educated. I have seen it happen with married ladies with several kids before going to university.

Thank God no court marriage yet. Let her move on as painful as it might be at first. Just provide for your child.
Do not let her parents sweet talk you into staying with her. You are not marrying her parents.
Let her explain why she doesn't want you anymore. And then learn from it and move on.

Another lady will come along. Hopefully one who loves you genuinely.

okokkk:


You will soon find out that the daughter you're training is not even yours.

Most didn't see this.

The OP is obviously love-struck or love-drunk.

The lady as seen this and playing him to her advantage.

He is so love-struck that he may not see that he is trying to force a hoe into marriage and I believed the girl must be sleeping with other men sef.

Her parents also need him to complete their daughter's education as the cheap slut he has made himself before them.

Truckpusher:
Mumu Boys everywhere.
Gone are those days women beg us to accept we had sex with them�

Aswear!

No wonder women worldwide are complaining that there are no "marriageable" men. Men have dumped their "duties" as men and started acting as sissies. It's either the men are childish or annoyingly weak just like the OP. Women see through this bullshit.

It's crazy that men are the ones littering the romance section with complaints about love and sex.

Tell them to get red-pilled and see through the manipulations of women, dem no go gree.

Fashdeejay:

Dude, dont force it... if u marry her you will hate yourself. If she says she is done, let her be.... provide for your child, let her do the rubbish she wants to do but my suggestion is u request that the child be given to her parents as u do not want her doing shit in front of your child... move on with your life. After a few years of gbas gbos.. she will come back to you... by then you'd be better off.... Pray for her and bid her farewell

Amen!!!!!,I hear you sir.

You need a DNA test of that your child ASAP

If she's not ready to settle down, hommie enjoy life dey go.

If that child is truly yours, find a peaceful way to co parent with her


Don't force her to go ahead with the wedding, doing that, you're just postponing your heartache

You na mean

MYDEBBY:


Didn't you read my facts why will she be intensely bored when I have paid her dowry as my wife.I have sat her one on one even at midnight to let her adjust her ways since the traditional rites this year and waiting for the white.I did said that I noticed her with bad influence including male and female.so why do you think she is not cheating on me,must I leave my work and be with her in school 24hrs before I will know she is not cheating on me? I think that all that happened is the handiwork of God.

You are very very lucky that your phone number is not in your profile. I for call you this night talk better sense into that your head. Better read the mature comments and take your next step in your life because this life is too short to be groveling ever someone who has shown you that she doesn't obviously want you anymore. You should even give thanksgiving in church this Sunday thanking God for opening your eyes to all these nonsense attitudes before your white wedding, others weren't so lucky and have regrets till today.

My brother let her go..It very dangerous to be in such a relationship cos you will never know peace which will eventually be your end.It will take time but you will surely heal and bounce back better..Make sure you look for every possible means to get your daughter from her or her family.

MYDEBBY:
Situation report house,the mum of my wife called me that why am I not sending the school fees of my daughter as my wife have told her,I replied by saying I will change my daughters school or probably transfer the money to the school account directly.She said OK. Meanwhile the meeting for this weekend scheduled between i, herself and her parents. her mum pleaded with me to go and carry them with my car down to the villa.But initially my wife said I should go on my own but now her mum said I should bring them along.Should I adhere knowing fully well my wife said she has no business with me again.

Mynd 44
Obinoscopy
Lalasticlala

Pls do the needful,thanks.

Baba see stop paying your daughter's school fees through your wife, collect the account number from your daughter's school and pay her school fees into it. With this attitude of hers that you opened this thread what if she's chopping your daughter's school fees? And take your daughter to your mum before all this behaviour of hers will start rubbing off on your daughter. You are still a very young man to be buying High BP drugs over one woman.

The way Op sounds u will know he’s going back to the girl. I don’t waste time giving advice to such stupid Op

In Naija, is where one single mother is doing yanga to her Baby daddy. She most likely will lose out so badly.

You shouldn't be going to report her to the parents. Reporting your spouse or girlfriend to the parents is like the very very last resort, like when breakup or divorce is almost imminent. If you can not resolve your issues between yourself, there is no point marrying.

In my opinion sef, she needs the relationship/marriage more than you do. If she thinks one sharp dude wants to keep a single mother, she is certainly in dream land, and it wont be long she will see reality. Having a child tends to make woman mature faster, but it appears in her case it had no effect.

pocohantas:
The earlier you guys understand that not so many undergraduate girls are very pro-marriage, the better for you. Once you spot that one who is very much interested in the fast life, pull the plug immediately.

Her parents told you both to come to the VILLAGE? You think if her parents had enough to be giving her, she would bother herself with you?

It is painful my dear, but your wife is in her hoe-phase. Some skip that phase, some spend few years in it, some stay a decade there- even do spillover.

You need to have some self-respect. A grown ass man following two fcking undergraduates to hear their conversation?

You guys don't hear word. You remind me of my colleague and that tin-tomatoes-headed girl he was pursuing. One small 200l girl. The way the girl did his heart ehn, she passed it through shredder.

Go find one afternoon newspaper that has her life figured out. Someone that will bring in tangible and intangible resources to the relationship. That way when she wants to throw it all away, she would think of how it would hit her own balance sheet.

Damn

pocohantas:
The earlier you guys understand that not so many undergraduate girls are very pro-marriage, the better for you. Once you spot that one who is very much interested in the fast life, pull the plug immediately.

Her parents told you both to come to the VILLAGE? You think if her parents had enough to be giving her, she would bother herself with you?

It is painful my dear, but your wife is in her hoe-phase. Some skip that phase, some spend few years in it, some stay a decade there- even do spillover.

You need to have some self-respect. A grown ass man following two fcking undergraduates to hear their conversation?

You guys don't hear word. You remind me of my colleague and that tin-tomatoes-headed girl he was pursuing. One small 200l girl. The way the girl did his heart ehn, she passed it through shredder.

Go find one afternoon newspaper that has her life figured out. Someone that will bring in tangible and intangible resources to the relationship. That way when she wants to throw it all away, she would think of how it would hit her own balance sheet.

Nice one. You hit the nail on the head. Don't marry or go out with a lady that doesn't invest in the relationship. Often, whatisnit is a collateral. That lady obviously don't feel she has anything to lose.

Tehila07:


Op, you see your life? Even a notorious pro-feminist is giving you sane advice. To knock his head dey hungry me.

Pro-feminist in Nairaand bro

In real life, these women are cold and do the exact opposite of what they depict themselves as here. There is always a man spinning and controlling them.

frankike1:
The way Op sounds u will know he’s going back to the girl. I don’t waste time giving advice to such stupid Op

Frankike, Never again!!! I mean it.

MYDEBBY:



Frankike, Never again!!! I mean it.

, go and sleep, stop having sleepless night because of a lady, she needs you more than you need her ,that is if you're responsible

She has sampled some serious freak, she'll never be the same again..go and sin no more

pocohantas:
The earlier you guys understand that not so many undergraduate girls are very pro-marriage, the better for you. Once you spot that one who is very much interested in the fast life, pull the plug immediately.

Her parents told you both to come to the VILLAGE? You think if her parents had enough to be giving her, she would bother herself with you?

It is painful my dear, but your wife is in her hoe-phase. Some skip that phase, some spend few years in it, some stay a decade there- even do spillover.

You need to have some self-respect. A grown ass man following two fcking undergraduates to hear their conversation?

You guys don't hear word. You remind me of my colleague and that tin-tomatoes-headed girl he was pursuing. One small 200l girl. The way the girl did his heart ehn, she passed it through shredder.

Go find one afternoon newspaper that has her life figured out. Someone that will bring in tangible and intangible resources to the relationship. That way when she wants to throw it all away, she would think of how it would hit her own balance sheet.

I was sincerely looking forward to this

You are a weak man..ignore her and find someone else more deserving cos she doesn't love u anymore

Check my signature you just might find what you have been looking for

islandmoon:
tell her sweet stories, impregnate her and run

Bros. They have a child. Read the write-up.

nigga just impregnate her and, make sure it's twins then u can dump her silly Ass and enrol her on child support, na she go suffer taya....

haba use ur head and wicked that girl small na

White Wedding is the TRADITIONAL WEDDING of the EUROPEANS.

Yeecar:

Is she aware of her loss, if yes how did you let her know.
And how did you find out the details of her cheating life..

People loyal to me who saw the events unfold came around with the information. Three different contacts.


She's not just aware, even the sisters and mum cause one way or the other, within the same city,they run into me discussing with people who matter ( in business settings ), and how they saw people honoured me, both elderly and very established people.

Baba all na your fault, who dose that this days u dey train your wife for sch, instead of pregnanting her with 5 kids,lol u are funny o,she has seen your weakness,until the day u start doing the opp she will come back,for a woman to have change means another man has had sex with her.thank God i did not marry my x after she got admission ,90% of woman always change while in sch..alot of men are still love blinded.u too do mumu too much,if i were u start bulshitting her now and have a side chic if not u will regret it,padi she is tired of u,and u are now old fashion ,all woman want something new ,i mean they want to exploit ,so if i had marry merit and send her to sch,by now she would have dump me.lalala thank my chi i moved on time,trust me your wife will still give u more wahala and unapreciation,and even tell u she just pity and have baby for u,or she is loving u pityfully,trust me i have seen n b there before.woman can be so so ungreatfull once they get to the top.they say u are oldy they want new experience and your marriage is boring,leave her now and thank me later.if not u guys will never settle ,she will be doing any how and even cheating under your noise.leave her now and move on,imaging a man begging a man to stay together in one roof.that means the man has become the woman.

malele:


MY TYPE OF GUY. BUT IN MY OWN CASE I GO TAKE CARE OF THE GUY BEFORE LEAVING JEJE

Well. Success is the best revenge

silento:



You are stronger than u think I might not be up to your age , allow her to go and enjoy life focus only on your child for now she will come back but make sure before she come back find replacement

Its easy to write. But it hurts, especially when she was the one who began our whole thing together, and others I dropped aside for her during the period

ornicus:


Is missionary style the new word for people without bedroom game? Us oldies want to know.

It's not Missionary style, it's Mama and Papa style.

richie240:

Walking away, though may not be easy, shows dt one is in full control of d situation, aka "being d man". Like what someone said, "to beg /take poo from a woman to be my responsibility is d height of stupidity"

I also appreciate ur wisdom in not laying out all ur cards on d table. Had she known u are well to do, walahi, she would have gotten u.

Well. We were both close at the onset. Beg a cheat, haba. How would I sustain the relationship. We men need to take charge. A year or two ago, I would have overlooked, but now, No. No more tolerating bad behavior. Once the red flags are there, I'm gone. Very pretty, decent looking, homely, intelligent lady. My heart still aches

pocohantas:


They are words guys use here na. I had to help to use it, because I know they would soon arrive.

Nevertheless, the hoe-phase is that phase where the girl wants to explore and all. Some men think all women want to do is marry and birth, they don't know we want to have some fun too. Probably this girl used her own time in that stage being committed to him and a child. Now, she wants to get it back.
It is a pity it has to be at the detriment of their marriage, but such is life.

Then later come and blame village people

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

Oh boy family spirits no want make u marry!

No normal Nija babe would give up the Dad of her child if the man is still interested.