...

About 90% of Nigerians believe in sex before marriage, why are we deceiving ourselves.

Her mom (my Aunt) gave birth to her at home before getting married

...

Meanwhile, how do I tell my family to put the marriage thing on hold till she gives birth

Why are you bent on making history repeat itself? Apart from the guy being from your place (and fitting into some stereotype), do you know him before?

You have the scanner for dead-beat-dads in your eyes?

pocohantas:


Why are you bent on making history repeat itself? Apart from the guy being from your place (and fitting into some stereotype), do you know him before?

You have the scanner for dead-beat-dads in your eyes?

My sister if you see Wetin I use my eyes see when I travelled eh, you won't allow any of your blood relations to get married to some of the men from my place
Some of my cousins that got married to the men from my place will be like " Michelle run 4-40 oh, no stop.

Aunty...I think you should step aside and let your niece lay on her made bed. She's the one that saw him, got knocked up by him and now ready to marry him. Let her be. Helping her manage her life is part of the reasons she kept on disappearing at night till she got preggers because she knew people will help her manage the outcome. Let her start managing herself now that she's a full blown woman, a mother to be. If I were you, I won't even give an opinion. It's herself and whatever choices she has made so far!

Hold the ceremony in your eldest son's house. He is the leader of the squad ain't he? The others should just show/give support such as contributing for food and other expenses for your guests

What the hell is wrong with nairalanders these days, any small issue they will bring it to social media. Which advise do you need when I don't know how your family works, keep your family problems to your family to solve and stop seeking useless answers online.

yeyeosoronga:
Hold the ceremony in your eldest son's house. He is the leader of the squad ain't he? The others should just show/give support such as contributing for food and other expenses for your guests

Leader of the squad over her own mother who's even older than him? Who does that?

Whats my own sef? Long and short, the girl is already pregnant at 20. Let her have her introduction, fortunately, introduction is not marriage. If after a few years, she becomes wiser, she can still go. But let her child be kn own with a father.

First of all she is your cousin if her mum is your aunt.

Now to the main issue. History as repeated itself, your family should make plans to take care of mum and daughter.

piroux:


Leader of the squad over her own mother who's even older than him? Who does that?

Whats my own sef? Long and short, the girl is already pregnant at 20. Let her have her introduction, fortunately, introduction is not marriage. If after a few years, she becomes wiser, she can still go. But let her child be kn own with a father.

Marriage union in Nigeria has always been between families.
The pregnant girl in question grew up with her mother's family without any father except her uncles and grandfather as father figures (from what I understood from OPs post), and she probably bears their name. The introduction should be held at the head of the family's home who I'm assuming to be the eldest uncle. For now, women don't hold the position of head of family in most Nigerian cultures, but perhaps in your culture they do.

20 y/o preggers? that aside She made her mistake let her bear the consequence it's non of your business,Wise word from my parents Never burden yourself with Another man's responsibility.

I feel trying to work her into a marriage because she got pregnant will backfire.
Whichever decision you make,make her realise she's likely got a tough road to walk.

Why are you trying to help her leave her life?

Not trying to be mean, but it's her cross let her carry it herself.

The earlier, the better

Let them do traditional marriage before that idiot runs away. Make sure there is an agreed decision on how he plans to take care of his family BY HIMSELF! Introduction is not good enough. It’s a way of tying her down for a long time and wasting her time. If he wants the child and your cousin he must MARRY her! Otherwise you all seek alternatives, either she becomes a single mum or she gets the pregnancy terminated. Those are the options you have right now.

Jayslicky:
What the hell is wrong with nairalanders these days, any small issue they will bring it to social media. Which advise do you need when I don't know how your family works, keep your family problems to your family to solve and stop seeking useless answers online.

Did she force you to comment?

Michelle55:

My sister if you see Wetin I use my eyes see when I travelled eh, you won't allow any of your blood relations to get married to some of the men from my place
Some of my cousins that got married to the men from my place will be like " Michelle run 4-40 oh, no stop.

Please where are you from?

chigoizie7:


Please where are you from?

Somewhere in kuviki land of oguta lake

Michelle55:

Somewhere in kuviki land of oguta lake

Chai. Are the men that bad?

chigoizie7:


Chai. Are the men that bad?

Lol.. The ones I've seen are not good either

Michelle55:

Lol.. The ones I've seen are not good either

M
Nawa ooh.

Since all of una de run from them, who go come marry them?

Abeg make una pity them ooh. Before they all turn to homo, konji is a real bastard. And that una side go de cold well well.

chigoizie7:

M
Nawa ooh.

Since all of una de run from them, who go come marry them?

Abeg make una pity them ooh. Before they all turn to homo, konji is a real bastard. And that una side go de cold well well.

Lol.. You fit arrange babes give dem.. E go make sense wella

Michelle55:

Lol.. You fit arrange babes give dem.. E go make sense wella

Why I go arrange babes when una wey be babes dey already

chigoizie7:


Why I go arrange babes when una wey be babes dey already

I no dey available .. Dem no dey fear ni

Michelle55:

I no dey available .. Dem no dey fear ni

Go and be your brothers keeper.


Besides, since una men no good, only God knows as the women go be.

Ofu aka ruta mmanu, ozuo ora.