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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! (4468 Views)
Am Tired Of Pretending What The Meaning Of This Popular English Word / Ex-boyfriend Caught At Married Woman’s House, Pretending To Be A Relative / How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Am Tired Of Incessant Sex? (2) (3) (4)
My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Beke2020: 7:00pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
Good day ma, I need your help and advise.My husband and I are having issues. We are both Leaders in church. We are Deacons in church. We help other people,counsel them but no one is aware that our own marriage is on fire. We have been married for 13 years with 3 children. The problem started like 3 years ago. My husband became more and more busy with his business . I started noticing he was so tired with all these responsibilities that he did not have time for me. I started complaining that he was not giving me enough time but he did nothing to address the gap that was happening with us. I complained to our Senior pastor,who is like him. That one counseled me to be a support to him instead of complaining. I got fed up and started....... https://livelystones.com.ng/my-marriage-needs-help-i-am-tired-of-pretending-please-help-me/ 1 Share
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Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Nobody: 7:03pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
La lick LA...... 3 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by sanity12(m): 7:04pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
all is well |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by MEGA4BILLION(m): 7:11pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
Continue From here I got fed up and started to focus on myself and the children.That was how I started masturbating. Now,it has become a horrible habit that is killing us. I did not just start masturbating. Any time I made advances to my husband,he would deny me s*x and say he is tired. I became suspicious that he is cheating with someone. I started praying to God to save our marriage. I prayed and fasted several days. He would be chatting with the so called ladies that he is counselling. I never seen his phone but his obsession with his phone and the many times he was home later made my suspicion stronger. He also sends money to different girls. It cannot be just gifts. He is like the father christmas of our church. Anyone who needs anything goes to him. I am happy that God blessed us to be able to bless others but that money now is like a curse. In the name of helping people who are needy,people now take advantage of my husband. Abi,he is the one taking advantage. I know he must have slept with some of these girls. Cos,there has been a few rumors here and there. And the girls around the rumors don’t even greet me in church. Even when we managed to have s*x in like once in a month,it was like a chore. He would come in less than 10 seconds and sleep off. I got really frustrated. I read books on how to communicate better with my husband and I applied some of the things I learnt but none worked. There was a time,I started making some health foods and drinks to try to help his quick release but my husband refused to take them. I think he just expects me to accept my fate and suffer in silence knowing that I cannot divorce him. God knows that I am tired. I cry so many times and I wish I could even cheat sometimes but because of God,I will never cheat. The only thing I have is masturbation. I do it so much that I feel so guilty and dirty. I cannot even bring myself to tell anyone of my problem. I feel so ashamed. And I watch porn too. God save my soul. What am I going to do? If God does not make my husband desire me anymore,how will I control my needs? Its not that I look ugly. I am not boasting but I got a great body. I eat healthy and exercise too to maintain my looks. I get alot of looks from other men when I am in the malls yet my own husband does not look at me. I have begged him to forgive me if I wronged him in anyway. But sincerely,I cannot think of any way I have wronged him. I am emotionally tired. We have money,we have friends,children and every other thing people wish for. But our marriage is just a big mess. Please help me…. Mrs X… Anonymous LS Fan 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Beke2020: 7:35pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by collarfreak(m): 7:36pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
Marriage not easy honestly...cheat on him and make yourself happy 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by kestine(m): 7:44pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
MEGA4BILLION: Mega4billion...thanks for completing it... 3 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by smat101(m): 8:02pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
comshots:BEND 4 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by adamsoghene: 8:55pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
Ok i have red ur story and here is my advice. Try to seduce him more by wearing sexy/transparent nightie whenever he is at home. Try to give him a listening ears to his daily affairs while at work or wherever, when he comes home. Try to give him food that will aroused his manhood whenever he is at home, sometimes drinks �. But most importantly, keep him constantly in prayers, there's nothing God cannot change. Lastly sow a sacrificial seed for your prayer request towards your husband. God blessings 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Skmoda360(m): 9:11pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
collarfreak:Oloriburuku leleyi sha....Omo Iran Kiran..... |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Skmoda360(m): 9:14pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
adamsoghene:God will continue to bless you my brother for this nice advise 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by RPirez: 9:20pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Cas1741: 9:31pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
Madam, I don't want to be a bearer of bad news but it appears that your husband is drilling some holes outside his marriage and uses work and tiredness as excuses. Although they say that curiosity kills a cat, in your case, it might save a cat; therefore, I suggest you do some due diligent approach, find out what is really happening with him and some of the girls. How is it that he gives them money and they turn around to keep malice with you in church. It simply shows guilty conscience is eating them up. Father Christmas is helping himself from the cookie jar and eating lots of cookies. But the question is, what will you do if you find out he is up to no good: confronting the girls is out of the equation because he is the main culprit. Your options are either you talk it out with him, go counseling and I don't mean church/pastor fallacies, real trained counselor. Better still, speak with his parents and if all fails, continue your masturbation or dump his sorry ass. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Pharaoh4rin(m): 10:10pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
adamsoghene: Are we men this gullible? Does one's wife need to seduce him to her sexual desire? Why torture ur own wife? Is this story real? What's my point sef? Well madam, calm down and pay attention to his chores and movement. Stop masturbating so u can have a clearer mind. After like 5wks, I bet u, with sincere attention to his activities u will discern what's up with him. I feel ur pain. |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by babzlim(m): 11:26pm On Oct 15, 2019 |
Communicate more with him seek more of his attention, dress nice and sexy always and pray for him. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by rex444(m): 7:52am On Oct 16, 2019 |
play the ignore card , since he knows you can't divorce him that means he can't divorce you either ....so if he is playing the ignore game on you,let him have a taste of his own doing by playing same game....two can play that game .......firstly make him know he can't divorce you oooooo 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Felimax(m): 9:39am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Make him feel you are cheating on him. Just distance yourself sexually a bit. Make him feel jealous if he will not change your approach. DO NOT make him feel or know you are trailing him act like you are very ok with the new development. After sometime he will make advancement at you in a bid to know something strange, give him a clue like take positions or actions he has not seen from you before like eating his nipples or any strange action he has not seen from you before. Madam if you must give him sex and you know he will last for only 10s ensure you give him aggressively for 5s then get up and walk out on him, all these with a powerful smile no sign of anger. Don't tell him anything till he is ready to talk the way forward. Use the Law of pretense to the best of your advantage. Good luck. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Deandean: 10:04am On Oct 16, 2019 |
rex444: I'm sorry bros,i dnt knw hw exactly to help her but what you said is honestly very stupid,again i'm sorry but thats d only wrd i can come up with.... Meanwhile,madam i really sympathize with you,i can relate with that every1 looking to u 4 counsel n support while you actually need support too but cnt voice it so as not to look helpless to others. My humble suggestion,...Tell him you love him so dearly especially for being supportive and responsible for d family's growing needs,but the stress is too much on him and you want to have him if possible forever in sound health...AND YOU THINK THE SOLUTION IS TO SIMPLIFY YOUR FAMILY LIFE.IS THERE ANY BILL THAT SETTLING IT UNSETTLES HIM,DROP YOUR STANDARD A STEP OR TWO...even if he doesn't accept,he'll realize a lot from those words. |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Nzubedickson(m): 10:27am On Oct 16, 2019 |
All you need now is a friend (male) whom u trust to keep ur secrets then pay less concerntration to ur husband, when he comes back at night or weekends feed him, cloth him , do ur duties as a wife but less concerntration on him. Caution: anything can happen between u and ur male friend that's why I said find someone with matured mind who can keep u safe then play ur cards very well make sure u do everything to be happy but don't fall in love with ur friend always be ready to fall out once ur husband comes back to his senses, trust m iv got friends like you and it worked Thanks 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by rex444(m): 3:33pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
Deandean:and your contribution is exactly what she needs...... hmmmmm this is really interesting....my stupid suggestion is actually mine oooo not yours I hope U do remember....Mr chief judge and analyser |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Tajbol4splend(m): 6:42pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
Lesson to all of you who go to your pastor or alfa when you have life challenges, an ordinary human being who also has his own he can't bear alone. |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Deandean: 7:40pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
rex444: Lolll...laslas we aren't getting paid 4 our suggestions,so no biggy bros,come chop. |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by abuyus(f): 9:06pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
[quote author=Felimax post=83182241]Make him feel you are cheating on him. Just distance yourself sexually a bit. Make him feel jealous if he will not change your approach. DO NOT make him feel or know you are trailing him act like you are very ok with the new development. After sometime he will make advancement at you in a bid to know something strange, give him a clue like take positions or actions he has not seen from you before like eating his nipples or any strange action he has not seen from you before. Madam if you must give him sex and you know he will last for only 10s ensure you give him aggressively for 5s then get up and walk out on him, all these with a powerful smile no sign of anger. Don't tell him anything till he is ready to talk the way forward. Use the Law of pretense to the best of your advantage. Good luck.well said am fully in support of these mind u cheating is not an option |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by rex444(m): 10:13pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
Deandean:ahbi ooooo..... wetin U cook na? na better Manya dey hungry me sef |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Beke2020: 8:53pm On Oct 17, 2019 |
rex444: |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by Uchenaija: 9:19pm On Oct 17, 2019 |
Someone who cannot take care of her wife needs is that one a deacon? The church of Christ is now a thing of mockery |
Re: My Marriage Needs Help: I Am Tired Of Pretending-please Help Me! by collarfreak(m): 4:10pm On May 18, 2020 |
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