Figuring out who your best friends are can be tricky, emotional, and confusing! To determine who your best friends are, evaluate your friendships. Consider several dimensions of your relationships. How much time do you spend with this friend? Does this friend communicate well with you? Does this friend stand up for you and support you? Throughout the process, remain patient, open, and honest.

Assess which of your friends ask you to hangout the most. Best friends want to spend time with you. They sets aside blocks in their schedules to spend with you. Best friends plans fun activities and adventures to experience with you. Additionally, you frequently ask them to spend time with you too.

Determine which friends you spend the most time with. Best friends are intentional about spending time with you. Your best friends attend all of your major life events, such as weddings and funerals. They are present at all of the little events too--from small birthday parties to your home sporting events. Often, you hang out “just because”--no special occasion is needed to bring you together.

Consider why you spend time with your friends. Best friends spend time together because they genuinely enjoy one another’s company. Best friends aren’t seasonal friends--they are there for you year round, not just when school is in session or football is in season. Your best friends don’t spend time with you only when it is convenient for them or they want to use your swimming pool.

Consider which of your friends are the best listeners. Best friends are active listeners. When you speak, your best friends should give you their full attention--your BFF’s phone should remain in a pocket, purses, or on a table.

 Determine which friends only talk about themselves. Best friends want to hear about each other’s struggles and triumphs, fears and dreams. Friends that constantly turn the conversation back to themselves are not your best friend. Friends that never ask you about your life or how you are feeling are not interested in getting to know you.

If you or your friend has had a rough day, one person may dominate more of the conversation.

 Evaluate your friends’ response times. Best friends respond to your text messages. They return your calls. They pick up the phone--even if you ring them at the early hours. Friends that fails to respond, or gets around to it when they feel like it, are not a reliable communicators. Don't think they are unreliable if they don't answer you at the early hours, they probably need a rest.

 Determine which of your friends can keep a secret. When you share a secret with your best friends, they shouldn't tell the next person they bump into! Your relationship with your best friends are built on mutual trust and respect. They don’t spread rumors about you, they squash them!

Decide which of your friends have your back. Best friends stand up for each other no matter the circumstances. Best friends stick up for you when you can’t defend yourself. They don’t join in on the bullying, add to the teasing, or spread a rumor about you!

Evaluate your friends’ willingness to forgive you. Everyone makes mistakes--even best friends. Best friends don’t hold grudges or give each other the silent treatment. Instead, they allow each other to explain why they are upset. They take part in a dialogue--not a screaming match. They apologize for their misgivings and learn from their mistakes. At the end of a fight, best friends forgive each other.

Consider which of your friends are truly happy for you. When you experience success, your best friends should be the first people to congratulate you. Best friends are not competitive with one another, but supportive of each other. Jealous friends are not your best friends.

 Continue to work on your friendships. Now that you have figured out who your best friends are, focus on further developing your relationships with them. Continue to spend time with them, make an effort to be present at all of their major milestones and minor events. Keep the lines of communication open and never take your best friends for granted!