I am an American lady. My husband is from West Africa. He complains about paying the bills, but he thinks he should be "THE BOSS". He paid the rent on april 1st. then he left for Africa on April 11. He sent two cars to Africa to be sold. He said he would send money from AFrica when the cars were sold. He will supposedly return on May 28, after being gone for 7 weeks. He has sent no money whatsoever from Africa, he left no money for us here before he left to go to Africa. I have supported our two kids and myself with my own money since he left. He hasn't called since May 4, saying it is too expensive to call, and he has no money since he didn't sell the cars. How is he paying his airline ticket to come back to the USA then, I asked him. He says he is getting a loan on on of the cars titles, that hasn't been sold yet. I smell a rat! something does not sound right. WHY haven't the cars sold? I think he is doing something else with the money, and doesn't want me to know about it (second wife? building house?) It doesn't sound right to me. this is not the first time that he sent a car there, and money was missing. He claims his brother in law owes him $2000. from 3 years ago for a car he sent to him in Africa. Something does not sound right. I told him if you don't make no money at this business, then drop it! Don't take money out of our household for this nonsense, and the money is not coming back. He says, "don't tell me what to do with my paycheck, you are too controlling". HE IS TOO CHEAP and UNCARING. Every time he sends stuff for business and it doesn't sell right away, or according to him it sells for much less money than he said it would, then he says, "oh, I know what the problem is now, I have to send Chrysler because they sell better",  someone told him Kia sells good before. We have gotten back some money for the cars sold, but never what he says it will be. Is he dumb? Or is he a con artist?

HE IS NEVER AROUND BECAUSE HE DRIVES A TRUCK LONG HAUL AND IS GONE FOR TWO WEEKS AT A TIME. THE CHILDREN NEED THEIR FATHER. I APPRECIATE THAT HE IS A HARDWORKER, BUT THE KIDS MISS HIM, AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO HUSBAND. HE INSISTS ON JOINT BANK ACCOUNT, BECAUSE AS HE SAYS, HE HAS "TO CONTROL" THE MONEY. I TAKE YOUR ADVICE, AND GIVE HIM CHANCE. I WILL TRY NOT TO NAG HIM ABOUT IT, I WILL TRY TO BE SUPPORTIVE. BUT HIM NEVER BEING HOME IS STRANGE FOR ME AS AN AMERICAN. BY THE TIME HE COMES BACK FROM AFRICA, HE WILL HAVE BEEN GONE FROM HOME FOR 7 WEEKS. THAT IS A LONG TIME FOR THE KIDS-OUR TWO YEAR OLD BOY CRIES FOR HIS DADDY EVERY DAY. I FEEL SORRY FOR OUR SON.

If you insist on monitoring his finances you'll end up divorced soon. If your problem is not providing you reasonable care for you and the kids, I can understand. Do you have a joint account (I detest that)? Or did you invest in the car business?
Before you paint an ugly picture of this guy, you have to realize that the average American lady will jump at the prospect of an African man who is actually around as a husband and father.

@BigBooty -

Give him some chance - it is not easy selling cars like that in Nigeria - I suppose he is in Nigeria? Almost every street in the high brow areas are filled with cars for the super rich, cars u can't see in any other African country or even in Europe - my point is, so many people bring in these cars, and it will take a lot of patience to sell. He could be right.

I do business back home - sometimes it is so dry that I think of closing it down - I have invested over 40,000 dollars in the business and it only takes patience - bear with him, don't nag him, it is not easy - trust me.

didnt you guys talk before you got married?
didnt you see some of these traits before you got hitched? he's just acting like a lot of men. not necessarily because he's african, and as to whether he has a second wife in africa? chances are that he might. but i guess you'll never know.perhaps a visit to africa with him? i dunno. right now focus on bettering your lot and the lives of your kids. if push comes to shove you can take care of you and your kids. good luck.

@ topic.

Just curious - What became of this?