If your criteria are not God-inspired you are heading for a brick wall.. Only the maker of hearts knows the two that best fit. Seek, and stay in His guidance.

My dear your time will come ,moreover you are still young. But I will only say give them a chance but avoid fvckboys as you call it...

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

What happened between u and ur ex?? Did u end the relationship ,or did he end it?... all I'm saying is that u guys should hv fought to mk it work... Sex is so cheap these days that it will b very hard to find a commited guy ooo.... They are lots of facts that contributes to men being unserious these days unlike the past.... Eg economy , finance , social media , cheap sex , upbringing ... Try to figure out if u can get bk to ur ex

Perhaps, the reason why men with the standard you have set hasn't approached you is because you are not up to theirs. Simple

Well, I'm here. I'm not established nor truly the business type. But I think I'm ambitious. 2nd degree and late 30s. I like your boldness and sincerity. Morality is key to coexistence and making the world a better place. Religiousness is good but mostly abused and people hide under it. Have you read the book "can there be morality without religion?" S. S. Eberiye. I think you are a good person and will surely get one to compliment you.

John-Prosper Nwankwo (Port Harcourt)

Sometimes we don't really need advice from anyone because we know what is right....


One who really need advice wouldn't try justifying his/her action....



Ist...
Drop your ego ( doesn't mean you should let anything run over your dictate you) just shift ground a little...

Then try more. You can only come across a real match without relenting but can never be 100% match for you...

Even twins have different character..
Adara ma kusibikan o si.....

anonimi:


Your approach is broadly the right thing, except that you need to be less uptight and more relaxed about the whole thing.
No need trying so hard to keep up conversation to the point of asking for your nudes. Totally a waste. You should have terminated early once the signs are clear.
Instead of these church drama and highbrow nonsense, you should identify better artistic or community service activities that you have a passion for and get involved seriously without being over-focused on the search for a relationship but keeping your eye open for someone who fits you.
All the best.

Little does she know that she'll meet Fvck boys and cyber criminals in lekki

i think we do share things in common, DM me your number lets talk..

'You grew up under an ambitious father'


No vex ooo

Plzzzz

Who is your father today

TheManOfTheYear:
All I can seduce from your posts is misandry

Jesu!!!!!!

RIP English

Check your mail hun

I just hope you will reciprocate this to the guy as well.. I like your standards, it's a good one. I just feel you a little bit picky/choosy... Look for a man with a good heart, credentials and ambitions don't save marriages again. It is better to b with a hustler with a good heart than a career person who is a monster. Wish u well, Peace

Beosten:
What you have to understand is that if you see someone with these credentials, he must have used and dumped a lot of women before you met him. I grew up with a very poor grandfather, and still, I had two girls who were ready to be mine right from secondary school days. Another two women in the university fought each other to a standstill just to have me because they thought I have good future. I married none of the four. I spent 80% of salary from my first big job on a girl by paying her school fees. She ended up leaving me. I married someone who didn't collect Kobo from me before marriage, and I had no job when I married her. Today, I have 3 sources of income.

My advice for you is that you should drop this mentality of listing credentials upandan. If you can, believe God to help in this aspect; not by becoming a church goer, but by chasing righteousness.

god bless you bro,mind u nobody is God, u cant decide the future for him,as you know a rich man can be poor tomorrow, such as a poor man also,
but always be prayerful the best wld come, dont list criterials,god knows how he does his things dont think for him.

Beverlyjean:


What happened between u and ur ex?? Did u end the relationship ,or did he end it?... all I'm saying is that u guys should hv fought to mk it work... Sex is so cheap these days that it will b very hard to find a commited guy ooo.... They are lots of facts that contributes to men being unserious these days unlike the past.... Eg economy , finance , social media , cheap sex , upbringing ... Try to figure out if u can get bk to ur ex

Aunty wetin na...that one don chop and clean mouth....by this time next year she for dn commit multiple of same mistakes...that's how female life was designed to be......happily ever after for both men and women is in the hand of God...the supremost

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

Finding the right partner is a very herculean task so be prepared for it. However, don't overdo things. I used to be very selective when I was younger but now, I've learnt to adjust. Just the way you are setting standards, that's how men of quality are setting standards and at the end of the day, we all find ourselves chasing after people who are chasing after other people who are chasing after others. Basically you need to list out four/five very important things you need in a man and once you get that, work around the rest and turn a blind eye to the other areas where he falls short. Some people are very well to do with all those polished appearance and all that but character is nothing to write home about. You have to ask yourself if it's worth it eventually. Personally, I'd not date someone who is doing biz like me but would want someone who is a career person irrespective of how little she earns. I don't care how much money the biz person is making cos I'm not interested. There are certain things that made me take that stand. I know you're still young and have enough time ahead of you but understand something : "the pool of quality men in all ramifications" is dwindling by the day and same goes for women. Sometimes, we all need to bend backwards a little bit to achieve what we want. Life is not cast in stone.

Chanchit:



Dem no dey tell blind man say Rai. dey fall. The question she should ask herself is if these men she's talking about would want her.

bros no mind dem.

Na so one talk to me like say I no be human being, like say I no reach her standard. Meanwhile, na she no reach my standard.

But baba God bless me 2 weeks after that incidence... In a massive way.

What many of them do not know is that life will not always be rosy. That man they wish to marry for financial reason may have a lot of other toxic attitudes that money can't solve... Oh, some of them have died in such relationships cos of the money attached. That is good.

They fail to understand that money can finish. I know a brother who was working at top oil company and had about 3 houses. Dude lost his job when Buhari came on board...

Also these kind of men are in small pool and just as she is wishing to get such a man, she should be ready to compete with hundreds of such man.

My sister was lucky to get such but not all of her friends could... Ones that got married earlier than her can't even match what she has. These kind of men think differently and they can smell a gold digger from 100 miles away.

They don't know what it takes to accumulate such wealth and they think the mind of a man that comes with that kind of wealth can easily be faked love for.

Jokers.

Harlequeen:
Wow, sir, i applaud your abilities of selective reading and misinterpreatation.

I try to list a few things in a bid to be humble and you call me proud? Well a man will be blessed to have me because he who has found a wife has found a good thing. I never said i will be blessed to have the kind of man i am looking but, but i consider myself fortunate when i do. There is no arrogance in that statement sir.

What were you expecting me to write, that i can cook and clean, give all the sex styles in kamasutra, be at a man's beck and call and be his to command. I am not trying to satisfy everybody.

But then everyone is entitles to their opinion

Don't change the narrative my dear, from your post you made it known you will be a blessing to the man, in other world you will become the light in the man's dark world.
You forget you are not even a blessing, if you were you would not open this thread.

Has it occurred to you that the kind of man you are looking for is a man that is already blessed?

Has it occurred to you that these kind of men may not even need you, that you need them more?
Ofcos not, a highly intelligent girl like you with so much education won't need scraps that can't even afford to leave the country. I mean
humble girls demand that her man relocate to another country because that is part of her specs,
is she arrogant for thinking a man the that will marry her will live a blessing filled life because she is without flaws? No.
Heck am sure you are angel that crash landed in the market, cos you never for once said you are a human being that also have their own baggage, You must be very humble indeed.

Go back and read your initial post with all your "requirements" write them down somewhere so you won't forget, cos you will need to revisit that post 5 years later.

This is funny.
I think it is safe to say that most women thought this way in their twenties.
But life can be tricky. You may end up with the exact opposite of what you have listed out.
And if you do find the one, you may not even be attracted to him. The one may even be a woman.
Like I said earlier, life can be tricky and you may call this weird but I do believe that there are forces out there, watching out solely for what we greatly aspire for, in order to f* it up just for their own amusement.
Be careful what you wish for. Best to keep an open mind and appeal to those forces (which many identify as the devil) to leave you the hell alone.

dapo456:
true love comes when you least expect it, you need to take your mind off it and just live your normal life. There's a man for every woman. Also, please stop having criteria or try to reduce your list. some 35 years old behaves like 15, while some 27 years old behaves like 45, maturity has nothing to do with age. Most men request for nude from ladies they have no plans for, so please don't send it. Between 25 and 26, you will find your own missing rib. just be patient and be attentive. meanwhile , i'm single and we can mingle.

U want to mingle with a feminist. I pity ur life, with all criteria this geh put up there, she can’t find

ojun50:
Last last you will end up marrying the wrong person.

Or would be shot down with husbandless pregnancy. That is guaranteed, for these kinds of entitled women with their heads in the clouds.

Hum. All I can read is you've raised the bar too high Babe. What most people consider as necessary in relationship are just the unnecessary things. Mind you, most guys might as well be putting you to test. What ladies don't realize is guys with what you need or desire also have their own expectation and you may not even measure up. So my advice
Be open to as many guys as possible. Be Friends and don't rush into getting into a relationship. When you meet the right person, you will know but disregard all your ticked features your man must have. THE most important is for him to be ambitious to becoming somebody in life

optimus106:
'You grew up under an ambitious father'


No vex ooo

Plzzzz

Who is your father today

Otedola

KEEP LOOKING. MY KIND IS HARD TO FIND. THE GOOD GUYS ARE WORKING. ON WEEKENDS WE ARE TOO TIRED TO GO OUT. BUT ONCE IN A WHILE, WE DO THESE... WEDDINGS, SPORTS, CHARITY WALK, CHURCH EVENTS, BIRTHDAYS, PICNICS, NATURE RESORTS, THE BEACH.

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

Hedonini:


Or would be shot down with husbandless pregnancy. That is guaranteed, for these kinds of entitled women with their heads in the clouds.

she should go and ask Aunty linda IkejI
. etc

JayPeeOham:
Cc:

Harlequeen,

You only talked about ur Dad, sorry to ask, but what about ur Mom?

Something tells me she has the best advice to give you in this regard. Maybe you should go talk to her or what do you think?

she is just slightly concerned that i am not married at 25 or seeing anybody for now, but she wants me to choose a good partner first of all. She tells me to do what i can and be smart about it.And she wants me to manhunt in the house of the lord.

Ladylite:



Aunti
Aunty

Calm down, go and enjoy your life.

You may not believe in religion now but I bet you when you are 35 you will know life is spiritual.


All this you explained here are normal for teenagers and under 25 girls.

Lady to Lady I tell you that you know even if you meet a mature guy with all that standard, he may not be interested in you and you are too proud to chase or beg.


See, you are not ready so move on and have fun with your life and other areas of your life.

IN your 30s try again by then the standards you spent so much time explaining now will not seem important to you.

Ciao

I don't know if you drink gulder, I'm delivering 5 trailer of cold gulder to you this morning.

If you raise a standard, then be sure you match same standard. You want a man with a car, good apartment, gainfully employed etc.... Do you have a car? Do you pay your own bills? Do you have an apartment to yourself??

The pu..s!y market is saturated now and only good pssies with good head gets a great spoil!

....start by upgrading yourself with your own money....(it’s a lot of work trying to upgrade with a man’s money)... I’m not talking Instagram-kinda upgrade... then every other thang will fall into place!

Beosten:
What you have to understand is that if you see someone with these credentials, he must have used and dumped a lot of women before you met him. I grew up with a very poor grandfather, and still, I had two girls who were ready to be mine right from secondary school days. Another two women in the university fought each other to a standstill just to have me because they thought I have good future. I married none of the four. I spent 80% of salary from my first big job on a girl by paying her school fees. She ended up leaving me. I married someone who didn't collect Kobo from me before marriage, and I had no job when I married her. Today, I have 3 sources of income.

My advice for you is that you should drop this mentality of listing credentials upandan. If you can, believe God to help in this aspect; not by becoming a church goer, but by chasing righteousness.

You are a real man

U don't have any problem, you are your own problem. You just need someone that is rich..... That's all. All these ur standards revolve around money.

Timileyin1234:

U want to mingle with a feminist. I pity ur life, with all criteria this geh put up there, she can’t find

what is unattainable in my criteria? won't you achieve all these things at a time in your life.

I think I like your post, you need to be applauded. But I would like to give you a piece of advice from experience and reality. am a man and am neither interested in any form of relationship nor infidelity as I am a married man with a kid. if you wouldn't mind, you can add me up on WhatsApp.