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Grave Errors Made By Men In Their 20s - Career - Nairaland

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Grave Errors Made By Men In Their 20s by skinnyebans(m): 9:07am On Feb 25, 2020
Mistakes Relating to Life Choices

1. Lack of an Exciting + Meaningful Mission which helps Channelizing Energy & Thoughts:

A Man without a Mission is destined to be a dwarf version of what he could be.

It not only guarantees the non-fulfilment of his so called ‘potential’, but also highlights & amplifies to the world (& more importantly his own self), his own inert negative tendencies.

The Lack of a Mission creates a Vacuum.

And Vacuums must always be filled. In this case, it’s filled with bullshit entertainment, idle talk, personally meaningless goals & even the pursuit of hedonism.

One of most pitiful sights is witnessing a highly energetic , talented Man who lacks a Mission. Who is thus lost & consequently ends up bitter, frustrated, cynical & jaded.

Don’t be this Man.

Build a Purpose. Identify a Clear Mission. Head towards it.

Let this Mission channelize all your inward, latent energy.

2. Lacking the necessary insight into own inner unthinking, emotional reactions:

You don’t know your own mind. Never have you bothered to acquaint yourself with your own recurring thoughts.

You lack the needed insight into your own thinking process. Negative patterns hold you down.

You’ve never journaled, never gone on long walks & conversed with yourself, never asked yourself pointed, uncomfortable questions, never identified definite, habitual thinking patterns which govern your behavior.

No wonder you lash out uncontrollably in various situations or anxiety wares you down or you unnecessarily play the game of self depreciation & think less of yourself, or you shrink from challenges which could easily provide growth.

3. Lacking a Core group of Close friends. Valuing Quantity more than quality:

Running from one friend to another. Prospect of being alone makes you shiver with fear, makes you tremble in your knees.

No real, deep bond founded on real understanding & acceptance you’ve built with anyone. Anyone.

Loneliness will be your fate. These aren’t friends. These are mere acquaintances. They all know what you are, not who you are. Hence you’ll always feel disconnected. That craving for genuine connection will remain.

Shift gears. Get around like minded positive people. Form trustworthy, deep bonds. Fewer the better.

4. Diluting own Individuality, own Authenticity to blend:

Individuality & Uniqueness are synonymous with Excellence & Greatness.

Uniqueness requires the expression of your Full personality.

When you deliberately tone yourself down, You shortchange yourself, Demonstrate less value, less confidence in yourself.

You feel safe being accepted. And this false sense of safety is the unsafest.

It guarantees mediocrity. It makes you a sheep. Bland, boring, ignorable.

You stand for nothing, have no voice of your own, zero convictions, zero uniqueness.

The need to belong exists in each one of us.

But left untamed, it can heavily compromise your potential. Potential is actualized when free reign is given to the expression of one’s own individuality.

Unthinkingly submitting to this innate need to be belong hugely thwarts this needed expression.

A Strict Balance must be struck.

Understand : Conformity & Mediocrity go hand in hand.

The more you conform, the more mediocre you become.

5. Insufficient Pushing. Failing to break own ‘Comfort Zones’:

You create your own prison of self defined limitations (which can easily be & must constantly be broken).

This prison makes you feel safe & secure.

Fact is that If you’re not constantly, consciously pushing yourself, you’ll slide into comfort.

And comfort will make your life & brain dull.

You will forever be plagued with a nagging sense of unexplained emptiness.

6. Naturally, unthinkingly taking people at face value:

There’s a Sense of innocence which requires quelling.

If you take people at face value, you’ll be fooled. There is no doubt about this.

People will 100% take advantage of you. Learn to read in between the lines.

Understand human nature.

This game becomes addictive. You become Sharper. Win-Win.

7. Failing to question own dysfunctional Beliefs passed down from parents, teachers etc which were previously internalized:

When young- our unguarded, tender, fertile, ever impressionable minds absorb narratives most flouted around in our environments.

And our most immediate environment ie. Our Home is the first place we’re

‘brainwashed’ – in a ‘good’ and ‘bad’ way.

Growing up entails taking 100% responsibility for our Lives. This means we must introspect, question & then discard any & all beliefs that are not favorable & not useful for ourselves.

8. Over concentration on Reading. No Action. OR Over concentration on Action. No Reading, No Reflecting.

Continuous Reading can be a Trap.

You read on hours at end, but always fail to Reflect. Thus the needed Upgradation of Mind doesn’t take place. Nothing is internalized. Nothing becomes a part of your psyche.

Conscious Reflection is imperative.

Reading for reading sake may yield pleasure, but if you’re serious about learning & serious about utilizing your Time productively, you must form the Habit of reflection after reading.

Same with Action.

You get into a loop, and thus form habits unconsciously. Some positive, some negative.

Wiser to be conscious about your actions. Wiser to reflect upon your Actions, and their Results- on a frequent basis.

9. Consciously Aligning beliefs spouted by Pop culture, movies, mainstream news:

Either you lack convictions Or even if you don’t, you begin noticing the clear disparity between your convictions & the prevalent convictions in pop culture.

If you’re unable to stand apart from the crowd, you will ‘adjust’, ‘fine tune’ your beliefs. This is a grave error made by youngsters.

They lose all their personal authenticity, personal power in the process.

They become just another robot.

10. Wasting time- ‘Hanging out’ with Toxic idiots.

Shooting the breeze (with close friends) is necessary. Letting your hair down occasionally is necessary. But “hanging out” as a way of life isn’t.

Hanging out to fill an empty time slot isn’t. Hanging out especially with toxic fools is definitely isn’t. The company you keep has an untold, unfathomable effect on your psyche.

Be ultra selective.

It’s worthwhile to Focus on forming deep bonds with like-minded people, And Building lasting friendships.

Avoid toxic company under all costs.

11. Not having sufficient Purpose. Then Drowning that sensed insufficiency with Booze, entertainment & other frivolous shit.

This is a continuation of the above point. Lack of meaningful hobbies, a life purpose will inevitably manufacture a void.

This void will inevitably be filled with partying & bullshit.

Nothing more, nothing less.
Re: Grave Errors Made By Men In Their 20s by itsme01: 9:27am On Feb 25, 2020
cool


very long epistle but each word if assimilated is helpful

.
Re: Grave Errors Made By Men In Their 20s by Nobody: 4:18pm On Feb 25, 2020
Nice write-up but u shud have summarized it a bit

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