Hello Nairalanders, your advice please, someone needs your help. A friend of mine from the South Calabar (A course mate ) wants to get married to An Igbo girl, both families are against it Because they both want their children to marry from their tribe, my friend now told me that he wants to run away and get married in court, without informing both parents....do you support this? what advice would you give them please.

Drizzy5001:

Hello Nairalanders, your advice please, someone needs your help. A friend of mine from the South Calabar (A course mate ) wants to get married to An Igbo girl, both families are against it Because they both want their children to marry from their tribe, my friend now told me that he wants to run away and get married in court, without informing both parents....do you support this? what advice would you give them please.

They should follow their hearts. I know their families want the best for them but the best sometimes doesn't guarantee happiness.

They should make sure that whatever decision they take is mutual (abi mutually consensual) and not influenced by the other person's desire to marry.

If anyone of them has the littlest desire to do as the family pleases but bows to pressure to get married because the other partner is adamant, it might come back to haunt them both.

I also imagine that y'all are matured (at least in age), have you tried reasoning with your parents other than the youthful rebellion of "Whether you like it or not I will marry him/her"?

Yes, it's the modern age and parent's should know their place when it comes to a child making personal decisions about marriage...but remember we're a cultural-society and thy really didn't have this entire "love conquers all" philosophy during their time, so do the needful to educate them...try to let them see your partner in the same light you see him/her and beyond his tribe/class/status.

Abeg forgive my use of "you and your" since you're asking for a friend

Stephenomozzy:
They should make sure that whatever decision they take is mutual (abi mutually consensual) and not influenced by the other person's desire to marry.

If anyone of them has the littlest desire to do as the family pleases but bows to pressure to get married because the other partner is adamant, it might come back to haunt them both.

I also imagine that y'all are matured (at least in age), have you tried reasoning with your parents other than the youthful rebellion of "Whether you like it or not I will marry him/her"?

Yes, it's the modern age and parent's should know their place when it comes to a child making personal decisions about marriage...but remember we're a cultural-society and thy really didn't have this entire "love conquers all" philosophy during their time, so do the needful to educate them...try to let them see your partner in the same light you see him/her and beyond his tribe/class/status.

Abeg forgive my use of "you and your" since you're asking for a friend

thanks bro