tyup:


Ur underestimating the power of peer group and some sort of influence either good or bad

I grew up amongst the baddest of the baddest guyz..Buh I turned out well..Atimes it's choice

There was a time my mom told me she had a dream where she saw my 13 year old brother then crawling like a baby. I was so teary that day cos this boy was too stubborn and dumb.


But now, you'd beg for his talents and intelligence.

You see op, let your boy grow out of it. But try and give him confidence.. if any boy his age torment him, tell him to face him back and stop being a baby to his mate. If younger boy does, please scold him very well.

But you will be amazed at how he will grow and you will whine him with this later in the future.

Just allow the boy to grow. Always appreciate or commend every little thing he does openly.
Make sure he knows he is loved so much & don't you ever talk down on him or make him feel less appreciated.
Just make urself ur kids' best friend so that they will always feel comfortable telling u about their day and open their feelings up to you.

Though i didn't get all these from my dad, i just had to figure things out myself

Netochi:

Please how did you overcome it. I really want to know

Takotsubo:
@ Netochi,
I understand how heartbreaking it is to watch your child being pushed around..you just wish you could get up and fight the fight for them..

Some children are more sensitive than others and are generally more anxious around other people so may have a hard time sticking up for themselves.

Have you asked him why he is scared? Explore that fear with him and talk about the times you were scared and the things you did to combat the fear.

You should encourage him and tell him it's alright to feel afraid but he can learn to be brave.

I know it's hard but don't mock his crying ,hold him, empathize with him.

Tell him.that he is wonderful,amazing, beautiful human being and that he always makes you proud.

When he has that confidence from home,it will translate into his interaction with people on the outside.

You can also enrol him in a self defense class with an understanding sensei.

That will boost his self confidence.

NB: I felt offended that you said he acts like a low IQ child...he is a child that loves his peace and even if he is low IQ,I'm sure he is a wonderful person..your job is to make him know that you love him and you don't think less of him.

OP take this advice, works like a charm, self defense classes would help, if your husband has the time, he should also be more involved with him.

Dealing with other kids would become a past time infact na u go tire.

Netochi:

I feel ashamed to use the word "low IQ" but watching my son been pushed around can be heartbreaking. He does not even have a mind of his own most times. I really need him to be tougher and I thought a military school will mould him. A secondary school

Teach him how to have his own mind. Make him understand he has a choice and a voice. He should utilized it.

Since you always monitor him, I suggest you help him out. Each time he wants to back out or down from conversation with his peers, or being threatened by any of them. Make him stand up to them. Don't pet his feeble mind.

I could remember as a child, my elder brother will always come home crying because he was beaten by his agemate. My mum could not tolerate that nonsense from him. Whenever he comes crying, mum will send him back to retaliate.

"So you are crying because of your mate? I am ashamed of you. Go back and beat him and make sure you do, if you don't do, then there will be no food" mum always tell My brother.
With the mention of no food for food, being a food lover, my brother will dash out to complete that mission.

My little brother at a time suffered the same fate, mum used same method. This time she told my little bro anytime he sees his opponent, he should start beating him. Whether he is going to school, market anyway at all.( the boy look for his trouble and his mum came to his defense)

Mind you, my mum don't indulge them when they look for troubles ooo. They always have their piece of cake when they looked for trouble.

One mistake you will make is fighting for him or standing up for him. That's his duty and fight. All you need do is encouraging him and he should not look for people's troubles o

Also, engage in children's activities. Every opportunity to get him exposed should be utilized. Children debates, Children's football etc. Any activities to get him in children's group. It will help him build his confidence and face crowd.
He doesn't need to be perfect but to be involved, with time he will be get your motives and find his purpose.


No time is too early to fix your child's deficiency, if you let it be, you might not correct it again.

Remember care and support with love will help him define his identity. No time is to late correct a child's deficiency.

Netochi:
Please I need your help please. My Seven year old son behaves like someone that have inferiority complex, he get easily bullied even by little kids of 2years. It really breaks my heart to see it and even my younger daughter have started following that foot step though she is better than her elder brother. I don't know what to do to raise a stronger son who can stand up for himself. I plan to enrol him in a military school to harden him. Please I need your advice to raise my kids to be wiser, more confidence and brave

Your child is just trying to be a gentle man but he needs to step up

Seat him down and let him know that he is too quiet

Tell him never to allow his mates to bully him

Tell him that he is the first child and must stand strong to defend his siblings

Then any day he gets frightened by his junior beat him very well before his juniors or mates for being stupid

Give him a challenging task at home that will keep him busy

Enrol him in a boarding home where he will learn to start a life of challenging himself with others as you won't be there to speak or fight for him

Boarding home schools, gives you the power to stand on your own and prepare you for the future

Military school might make him to be rugged and am sure you don't need such