11 telltale signs

How do you know if you are in a misogynistic relationship? Here are a few telltale signs:

1)The man believes he has the "God-given" right to control the thoughts and actions of his wife, to demand total obedience, and to punish or threaten her if she resists.

2)He uses the Bible and church doctrine to justify his actions. He quickly skips over the "servant leadership" model of a husband and obsesses on the duties of the wife. He adds punishment to his role as a husband even though the scriptures do not give him such authority or control.

3)He believes that her opinions and feelings have no value, and her needs are not important and should not be considered.

4)He is charming and well-liked at church, but the family has to walk on eggshells to prevent making him angry.

5)He yells, threatens, hits or sulks when he does not get his way or when she does something to displease him.

6)She feels confused and off-balance when without warning he changes from being loving and kind to angry and cruel.

7)No matter how much she changes or tries to please him, he is never satisfied. She feels inadequate and guilty, and believes it must be her fault. She no longer trusts her own perceptions and wonders if she is going crazy.

He is possessive and sometimes jealous, especially when she talks and associates with other men. Sometimes he acts jealous of the time she spends with the children. He may try to restrict her activities and make her a prisoner in her own home.

9)Because of his possessiveness, she may disassociate from family and friends in order to keep him happy. She needs these relationships, but it is more important for her to keep the peace.

10)When anything goes wrong, he always blames her. If she were more submissive, more sensitive to his needs, more like so-and-so’s wife, a better mother, etc. then all their problems would be solved. He sees himself as a good husband for putting up with her. He is blind to his own faults and does not take responsibility for his own actions.

11)When he is displeased and does not get his way, he yells, hurls insults, breaks or throws objects, or is physically violent

This was copied. Not my write up.

There are four types of misogynists, each with behaviour based on shame and fear of abandonment. These four types of men hate women and use the Bible, church doctrine and theological arguments to support their right to control women.

They demand "submission" to their viewpoint. They discount their wife’s feelings, opinions and thoughts. They act charming one minute, then hostile and cruel the next.

They frequently point out their wife’s faults, but are unable to perceive their own shortcomings.

Type I misogynist
Not physically abusive, but is disrespectful and often critical toward his wife. Rarely loses his temper, but uses logic and flattery to discount woman’s feelings and thoughts.

Type II misogynist
Type I behaviour plus more verbal abuse such as belittling, name calling, comparing to other women.

Uses non-verbal techniques such as pouting, the silent treatment, dirty looks. Demands special attention, and may be jealous of wife’s attention to others.

Type III misogynist
Type I and II behaviour plus threats of physical, emotional or sexual abuse. More extreme in controlling wife’s actions, finances, social life and matters of daily living.

Type IV misogynist
Type I, II, and III behaviour, plus physical or sexual abuse toward wife and/or children. Very extreme in controlling wife’s behaviour and family life.

Abusive behaviour has become deeply ingrained and poses a significant danger to the woman and children.

If you are in a relationship with most of these characteristics present, seek help immediately from a pastor or therapist who understands the dynamics of spousal abuse. If they tell you simply to go home and be more submissive and understanding, find another pastor or therapist who is qualified. Read books about domestic violence, and join a local support group. Help is available!

You left out misandry.

A woman that is shown love will naturally submit except in few cases.

Someone should check out my signature

Lekan111:
A woman that is shown love will naturally submit except in few cases.

Someone should check out my signature

I am curious. The word love is relative to some extent. Pls could you explain what entails in this "show of love" from a man to his wife? Thanks for contributing.

Interesting write up.

Wanted to call it 'Church misogynist' before I read the 2nd post.

In most cases, I do not think the Church is equipped to handle serious martial crisis.

And a lot of the men in the Church are as described in the OP because Churches have failed over and over to

1. Teach servant-leader type of headship;

2. Hammered on submission more than live;

3. Women have refused to study the Bible for themselves. I keep saying it, no wife in the Bible married to a good man was a doormat or fearful or afraid of her husband or treated like a slave or trash. From Sarah, Abigail, Rebekah, Rachel, the Rich Woman, Priscilla etc. etc.

4. Mixing up religion and culture: The submission & headship defined in Christianity is not same defined in religion. If you don't know the difference or with a man mixing the two up, OYO is your case.

bukatyne:
Interesting write up.

Wanted to call it 'Church misogynist' before I read the 2nd post.

In most cases, I do not think the Church is equipped to handle serious martial crisis.

And a lot of the men in the Church are as described in the OP because Churches have failed over and over to

1. Teach servant-leader type of headship;

2. Hammered on submission more than live;

3. Women have refused to study the Bible for themselves. I keep saying it, no wife in the Bible married to a good man was a doormat or fearful or afraid of her husband or treated like a slave or trash. From Sarah, Abigail, Rebekah, Rachel, the Rich Woman, Priscilla etc. etc.

4. Mixing up religion and culture: The submission & headship defined in Christianity is not same defined in religion. If you don't know the difference or with a man mixing the two up, OYO is your case.

thank you ma'am. The man wants to be submitted to, he doesn't want to know what loving his spouse is. He wrongs his wife as a human and as a wife and then says, I provide so be grateful. He trash talks to his wife and then says, you upset me capping it with the Bible verse "grievance words stire up anger". The man referred to in this write up is never wrong... Infact his wife is possessed if she challenges his short comings. Every element of this world is to blame but him. He says women wish he was their husband, He is a blessing to the world. He is the most blind human that liveth!

yvelchstores:
thank you ma'am. The man wants to be submitted to, he doesn't want to know what loving his spouse is. He wrongs his wife as a human and as a wife and then says, I provide so be grateful. He trash talks to his wife and then says, you upset me capping it with the Bible verse "grievance words stire up anger". The man referred to in this write up is never wrong... Infact his wife is possessed if she challenges his short comings. Every element of this world is to blame but him. Women wish he was their husband. He is a blessing to the world. He is the most blind human that liveth!

Well, let the wife read Ephesians 5, then go to 1 Cor 13:1 - 13 to define the love talked about.

Add in 1st Peter where he said men who don't treat their wives well won't get answers to their prayers.

Truth is, a lot of people do not know the Bible and mix religion + culture.

The man you described used the Bible to back up his cultural position on marriage.

The women who wish for him are those carried away by words like Apostle Paul mentioned.

If a man never talks about his feelings for you, his sexual attraction to you, never interacts with you intimately and uses Bible as a shield, RUN!

bukatyne:


Well, let the wife read Ephesians 5, then go to 1 Cor 13:1 - 13 to define the love talked about.

Add in 1st Peter where he said men who don't treat their wives well won't get answers to their prayers.

Truth is, a lot of people do not know the Bible and mix religion + culture.

The man you described used the Bible to back up his cultural position on marriage.

The women who wish for him are those carried away by words like Apostle Paul mentioned.

If a man never talks about his feelings for you, his sexual attraction to you, never interacts with you intimately and uses Bible as a shield, RUN!

very well said. Thank you ma'am

yvelchstores:
very well said. Thank you ma'am

You are welcome

Type one is a good amount of the population

10)When anything goes wrong, he always blames her. If she were more submissive, more sensitive to his needs, more like so-and-so’s wife, a better mother, etc. then all their problems would be solved. He sees himself as a good husband for putting up with her. He is blind to his own faults and does not take responsibility for his own actions.

Change a few pronouns here and there and we are talking about the whole general society. So maybe. Just maybe, our blame-the-women game that we are always playing, is responsible for raising misogynistic husbands

Misogynists and misandrists are twins and they have the following things in common:

Paranoia: they are always paranoid - show me a paranoid person and I will point to you a person who has a penchant for subjugation.

Cynicism: they are always cynical - show me a cynical person and I will point to you a perfidious person.

Sententiousness: they are always sententious - show me a sententious person and I will point to you a hypocritically disingenuous person.

The problem is that at best, they’ll tell you they’ve heard. At worst, they’ll cry and still report you to that same goat who cannot talk to you like he does his wife, so he’ll sulk and tell her to cut y’all off. Even if you are family. At the end of the day, I say nothing. I pray God opens her eyes; the one I know and the eyes of everyone else(male and female) suffering in the name of matrimony.

LordKO:
Misogynists and misandrists are twins and they have the following things in common:

Paranoia: they are always paranoid - show me a paranoid person and I will point to you a person who has penchant for subjugation.

Cynicism: they are always cynical - show me a cynical person and I will point to you a perfidious person.

Sententiousness: they are always sententious - show me a sententious person and I will point to you a hypocritically disingenuous person.

Anytime I want to read your post, I must consult my dictionary. Going to and fro is dizzying.

Can't u use simple English so people can engage you more.
I think u are also suffering from sentenciousness
(Whatever that means).

cococandy:
10)When anything goes wrong, he always blames her. If she were more submissive, more sensitive to his needs, more like so-and-so’s wife, a better mother, etc. then all their problems would be solved. He sees himself as a good husband for putting up with her. He is blind to his own faults and does not take responsibility for his own actions.

Change a few pronouns here and there and we are talking about the whole general society. So maybe. Just maybe, our blame-the-women game that we are always playing, is responsible for raising misogynistic husbands

We raise our boys the wrong way. So the circle continues.

We complain about the men in our lives and yet ruin the lives of our sons.

My Nigerian friend here has 4 sons, add the husband and she works yet she is the only one who can cook in her family. First son is in the uni. Husband works 4 days and 3 days off. Assuming she has a daughter, she will die in the kitchen. U need to see her running around and she has lived in Europe more than 20yrs.
We bred those monsters. And tomorrow, we turn around to attack the daughters in law.
The circle continues

sassysure:

Anytime I want to read your post, I must consult my dictionary. Going to and fro is dizzying.

Can't u use simple English so people can engage you more.
I think u are also suffering from sentenciousness
(Whatever that means).

You have taken a bribe.

She doesn’t want to be a westernized woman who travelled to Europe and turned her husband into a SIMP by delegating some home keeping activities to him even though they are both bread winners.

What can I say

sassysure:

We raise our boys the wrong way. So the circle continues.

We complain about the men in our lives and yet ruin the lives of our sons.

My Nigerian friend here has 4 sons, add the husband and she works yet she is the only one who can cook in her family. First son is in the uni. Husband works 4 days and 3 days off. Assuming she has a daughter, she will die in the kitchen. U need to see her running around and she has lived in Europe more than 20yrs.
We bred those monsters. And tomorrow, we turn around to attack the daughters in law.
The circle continues

LordKO:


You have taken a bribe.

Relax, it's all for fun. No harm intended

sassysure:

Relax, it's all for fun. No harm intended

LOL. I know and that's why I said that you have taken a bribe.

cococandy:
She doesn’t want to be westernized woman who travelled to Europe and turned her husband into SIMP by delegating some home keeping activities to him even though they are both bread winners.

What can I say

I have given up on her
So nice a lady. I have told her to go and retire in the village
Na your sister o.

LordKO:


LOL. I know and that's why I said that you have taken a bribe.

Okay. Maybe, this one is an idiom.
I give up

sassysure:



I have given up on her So nice a lady I have told her to go and retire in the village
Na your sister o.

I’m sure she is.
Sometimes we are too good for own good

Op there is nothing like a misogynistic marriage relationship...
A misogynist doesn't have any close relationship with a lady or a woman at all nor marries a woman at all. I have a seen crude misogynist man, if you meet one of them, you will know that it's different from all these epistles you wrote.
A real misogynist is a real woman-hater. He will hate a woman with every pint of his blood.

cococandy:
10)When anything goes wrong, he always blames her. If she were more submissive, more sensitive to his needs, more like so-and-so’s wife, a better mother, etc. then all their problems would be solved. He sees himself as a good husband for putting up with her. He is blind to his own faults and does not take responsibility for his own actions.

Change a few pronouns here and there and we are talking about the whole general society. So maybe. Just maybe, our blame-the-women game that we are always playing, is responsible for raising misogynistic husbands

this is unfortunately true

Glink2018:
Op there is nothing like a misogynistic marriage relationship...
A misogynist doesn't have any close relationship with a lady or a woman at all nor marries a woman at all. I have a seen crude misogynist man, if you meet one of them, you will know that it's different from all these epistles you wrote.
A real misogynist is a real woman-hater. He will hate a woman with every pint of his blood.

I belive you are pointing out an extreme case of misogyny. There are various stages of this unfortunate trait just as you will have mental disorders in varying degrees. For you to say there is NO MARRIED MISOGYNIST IS DUMBFOUNDING

Glink2018:
Op there is nothing like a misogynistic marriage relationship...
A misogynist doesn't have any close relationship with a lady or a woman at all nor marries a woman at all. I have a seen crude misogynist man, if you meet one of them, you will know that it's different from all these epistles you wrote.
A real misogynist is a real woman-hater. He will hate a woman with every pint of his blood.

I loved what you wrote. Will a woman-hater have something to do with a woman? Is hate a polysemous word? Maybe there is a meaning of hate that I don't understand: instead of dispelling someone or something, it attracts and endears.

So sad people have committed atrocious activities using the Bible. Anyways, Satan used the Bible against Jesus so it depends on how you use it.

Whether you're religious or not, misogyny will find a way to express itself but if you want to use the Bible as your backing of misogyny, I'm here to burst your bubble.

Nowhere in the Bible did God or anybody told men to treat their wives in husband-servant relationship. Sarah treated Abraham as her master but the same Abraham listened to his wife and did her wish, then that balanced it.

Finally, while women are told to submit to their husbands as if they're submitting to Jesus, husbands are also told to love their wives to the extent of giving their lives for their wives (as Christ love the church and gave himself for it Ephesians 5 vs 25).

So if anyone says that the Bible supports misogyny, then they're looking for somewhere to hide.

yvelchstores:
I belive you are pointing out an extreme case of misogyny. There are various stages of this unfortunate trait just as you will have mental disorders in varying degrees. For you to say there is NO MARRIED MISOGYNIST IS DUMBFOUNDING

Babe, you dont have a full understand of who.is real real misogynist being a lady or a woman...your idea about a misorganist is limited and theoretical.
From.your point, you said there are various stages of misorganist....no ma! There is no stage of misorganist...a misogynist is a misorganist.. He hate woman or female gender with passion.
For example, a cultist, or hired assassin, hermit, etc a cultist is a cultist any time any day. He always have the consciousness that someone really hate him or he hates someone....A buccaneer doesnt have any affinity with Eiye confranity.
A real misorganist doesn't think like a normal man....for example, a normal man will scheme towards a beautiful lady that he like but a misorganist doesn't like any female gender at all talkless of marrying her.
Your above writeup can be distilled to dysfunctional in marriage and with time it can be corrected if either spouse go for good counseling

Glink2018:


Babe, you dont have a full understand of who.is real real misogynist being a lady or a woman...your idea about a misorganist is limited and theoretical.
From.your point, you said there are various stages of misorganist....no ma! There is no stage of misorganist...a misogynist is a misorganist.. He hate woman or female gender with passion.
For example, a cultist, or hired assassin, hermit, etc a cultist is a cultist any time any day. He always have the consciousness that someone really hate him or he hates someone....A buccaneer doesnt have any affinity with Eiye confranity.
A real misorganist doesn't think like a normal man....for example, a normal man will scheme towards a beautiful lady that he like but a misorganist doesn't like any female gender at all talkless of marrying her.
Your above writeup can be distilled to dysfunctional in marriage and with time it can be corrected if either spouse go for real counseling...

acknowledged Sir. So what do you Call a man that exhibits the traits mentioned in the write up?

traihit:
So sad people have committed atrocious activities using the Bible. Anyways, Satan used the Bible against Jesus so it depends on how you use it.

Whether you're religious or not, misogyny will find a way to express itself but if you want to use the Bible as your backing of misogyny, I'm here to burst your bubble.

Nowhere in the Bible did God or anybody told men to treat their wives in husband-servant relationship. Sarah treated Abraham as her master but the same Abraham listened to his wife and did her wish, then that balanced it.

Finally, while women are told to submit to their husbands as if they're submitting to Jesus, husbands are also told to love their wives to the extent of giving their lives for their wives (as Christ love the church and gave himself for it Ephesians 5 vs 25).

So if anyone says that the Bible supports misogyny, then they're looking for somewhere to hide.

thank you for this.

mrblessed:
I loved what you wrote. Will a woman-hater have something to do with a woman? Is hate a polysemous word? Maybe there is a meaning of hate that I don't understand: instead of dispelling someone or something, it attracts and endears.

so in order words, you don't hate her, but you don't show her love either, like you show yourself. It's easy for a man guilty of this title to claim, oh I don't hate her, so I am not what's described here...