Restitution.

Ladies, what will be your reaction if a lady walks up to you and start apologising for dating your husband for few months and giving a graphic picture of all that happened during the months of the relationship and telling you that she was directed by her pastor to come forward before her prayers could be answered.

And for the guys how will you handle such when a fellow man walks up to you with same intention, all in the name of PASTORS DIRECTIVE.

Seun please call all your pastors on Nairaland to explain this to me cause I am aggrieved with a fire fire brand church presently.

this is worth debating . . . . .does this confession equal restitution? whats has been re-instated by confessing to the spouse?

Pls i need replies from the men of God on this forum, i am about doing something very nasty

1. is your wife aware that u know? if so, what is her reaction? is she remorse? is her remorse because u know or simply because she is deeply repentant? it is important u answer these questions to urself. . . . it would enable to know where u are and the reality u face.

2. the person who made this confession to you is definitely not repentant (IMO) . . . . .he is doing so based on counsel of his pastor to quickly get his prayers answered quickly. this is called "microwave Christianity" God does not honor such arrangements. I might be wrong, but based on ur submissions the fellow never felt the need to make amends.

3. are u a christian? how deep are u in the things of God? many times God gives us the opportunity through life challenges to live according to his word. The counsel of God for u is to forgive. but this is humanly difficult. ur choice is to go on ur knees for prayers of strength. ask the Lord to strengthen u and give u the grace to forgive and rebuild ur relationship with ur wife.

4. talk to ur wife, hear her out. you seem to be the only one who is hurt here. Dont get third parties who know u both involved in this . . . .u will not like the outcome.

5. please do nothing nasty. go on ur knees and pray. phil 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

6. I will remember u in my prayers.

A couple were on a plane, then suddenly the plane developed a fault and was about crashing. The husband said to his wife, pls lets confess to each other all the wrong things we have done since we are about to dying. The husband started by telling his wife how he dated her younger sister for five years, the wife hurriedly said, honey i forgive you, then it was the wife's turn to confess, then she said baby am so sorry, i slept with  the gatekeeper, one of those nights you were away. The man's eyes turned red, he said you mean you have been sleeping around! He said with a loud voice. At that point the plane became normal, then the husband said, its all over, I cant marry a prostitute for a wife. A word is enough for the wise.

Restitution.

Ladies, what will be your reaction if a lady walks up to you and start apologising for dating your husband for few months and giving a graphic picture of all that happened during the months of the relationship and telling you that she was directed by her pastor to come forward before her prayers could be answered.

And for the guys how will you handle such when a fellow man walks up to you with same intention, all in the name of PASTORS DIRECTIVE.

Seun please call all your pastors on Nairaland to explain this to me cause I am aggrieved with a fire fire brand church presently.

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Restitution is attached to genuine repentance. The above scenario is not in anyway closer to restitution because, restitution comes with much counseling, and where necessary other steps has to be taken. No genuine man of god will ask you to go in the manner posted above to restitution because as a man of God, must know that it takes the leading of God.

In response to your post, I will encourage you to look for a genuine man of God who will guide you on how to go about that step so that you don't destroy other people's home.

Thanks Neotic for your advise, Yes I am a christain now, i will think about what you have just said, all this FIRE FIRE BRAND CHURCH should b checked.

Otitokoro, the so called Man of God is a branch pastor in Lagos, may be later i will give all the infor for people to just beware of the churches they attend.

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen this is a crazy crazy world i tell u

@ poster
The naration looks so crude and can cause more havoc to the family concerned. To address the issue, without minding the approach or manner of presentation, it is better for the man/woman to forgive the partner. To put it straight, if i am the one, though not easy, i will surely forgive by the special grace of Almighty God. The basis of our salvation is also anchored on our abilily to forgive others not minding the numbers of offence.

Thanks Fire Brand i think it will take time for me to forgive, i am just hurt and feeling bad that a MAN OF GOD was involved. WHAT WILL THE RESTITUTION DO TO THE PERSON CONFESSING, and do some pastors care to know the repercussion of such confession on a marrige. pls somebody talk to me plsssssssssss

y not tell us wot happened so we'll know what to advise

when you want to do restitution, you do it only where you are affected without implicating somebody. If a lady is dating somebody's husband and she repents of her sins, she doesn't need to go to the wife of the man she is having an affair with for restitution. All she needs to do is to go to the man he is dealing with and tell him that what they have been doing is a sin against God and that she cant continue with that life style anymore. It is left for the man when he repents to apologize to his wife. The marriage vow was made between the husband and the wife and if any of them breaks the vow, it is left for them to also amend their ways. Except in a situation where the wife of the man confronted you in the past about your affairs with her husband and you denied it or you attacked her, then it becomes necessary for you to go and do restitution to the woman. Telling her that you are sorry for lying to her or attacking her. The same goes if it is a man that is involved in this scenario

alexleo:

when you want to do restitution, you do it only where you are affected without implicating somebody. If a lady is dating somebody's husband and she repents of her sins, she doesn't need to go to the wife of the man she is having an affair with for restitution. All she needs to do is to go to the man he is dealing with and tell him that what they have been doing is a sin against God and that she cant continue with that life style anymore. It is left for the man when he repents to apologize to his wife. The marriage vow was made between the husband and the wife and if any of them breaks the vow, it is left for them to also amend their ways. Except in a situation where the wife of the man confronted you in the past about your affairs with her husband and you denied it or you attacked her, then it becomes necessary for you to go and do restitution to the woman. Telling her that you are sorry for lying to her or attacking her. The same goes if it is a man that is involved in this scenario

While the above may sound right, it is however not applicable in all cases. the most important thing is that regardless of the approach restitution must me genuinely as a result of sincere repentance. the case of lazarus in the bible speaks volume, Christ did not ask lazarus to return money to those he stole from talkless of 4 times more. . . . . but Christs message of salvation sowed a genuine seed of repentance in lazarus life and he felt that the only way to make up for his misdeeds was to pay back 4 times.

my point is, when each person is sincerely convinced of the evil of their sins, Christs spirit will teach them when and how to make restitution.

donkarly:

y not tell us wot happened so we'll know what to advise

Yesterday, my Younger Brother came to me, He is married. he told me that he dated a young lady some six months back and the parting was not to good. some time last year December he tried making peace by sending a Christmas text not for anything but just a friendly text as being sent during Christmas, she replied by warning my brother not to bother her and warned him not to EVER call or send text to her line. Being the kind of person he is, sent a message for her to practice what she preaches since he now discovered that she is now with a FIRE FIRE BRAND church and strong born Again
From no where this lady appeared at my brother's house when my brother left for the office and downloaded everything to the wife. She went ballistic and heartbroken and asked the lady why she came to inform her after six months of separation. She said she was directed to do it by her pastor and was sorry for every thing.

What can one do to such a lady?  My brother's wife is presently staying with me and my brother has been begging the wife to forgive him, this whole thing is making me mad about what some people can do in the name of religion

Your brother's wife should go back home and work out her marriage. she should forgive her husband and move on. If am the wife, i will personally invite that lady over and talk sense into her head. I think she did it ignorantly, i will teach her the word of God, so she does not do that to another family.

nuella2:

Your brother's wife should go back home and work out her marriage. she should forgive her husband and move on. If am the wife, i will personally invite that lady over and talk sense into her head. I think she did it ignorantly, i will teach her the word of God, so she does not do that to another family.

Thanks i appreciate

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@tpia,
before restitution takes place there must be genuine repentance in the person wo wants to do it. Once that genuine repentance is there, all emotional attachments are disamantled. Remember, with God nothing shall be impossible. Thats why prayer is needed too. Its not done in flesh but by the help of the Holy spirit of God. God bless you.

alexleo:

@tpia,
before restitution takes place there must be genuine repentance in the person wo wants to do it. Once that genuine repentance is there, all emotional attachments are disamantled. Remember, with God nothing shall be impossible. Thats why prayer is needed too. Its not done in flesh but by the help of the Holy spirit of God. God bless you.

From what i learnt the lady wants to pay back really hard, but my question is WHAT IS THE END RESULT OF THIS RESTITUTION, WHAT WILL BE THE PASTOR'S NEXT MOVE FOR HER, In as much as i feel bad for my brother, i want somebody out there to tell me whether my brother can take a step futher to see a lawyer, pls what do u guys think.

Like this restitution thingy. . .does it really have any scriptural background? . . .pls someone help me out here Huh

Exodus 22:1,Leviticus 5:15,Leviticus 6:4 and Luke 19

otitokoro1:

Exodus 22:1,Leviticus 5:15,Leviticus 6:4 and Luke 19

Leviticus preaches going to a priest to atone for your wrong doings , Zacchaeus gave back to the society he stole from. None of this people involed went back to the real people that they offended. is it proper for a man of God to give such negative directive.

Leviticus preaches going to a priest to atone for your wrong doings , Zacchaeus gave back to the society he stole from. None of this people involed went back to the real people that they offended. is it proper for a man of God to give such negative directive.

Restitution depends on the situation at hand. may require consultation while others may not. It is not wrong to preach about restitution. But a man of God must not be rigid about how it must be done. Most time restitution depends on the leading of the Holy Spirit.

That is not restitution, it is confession. Resitution is to restore what was stolen, in this case, nothing has been restored . It only brought problem that can lead to more terrible things. I don't want to condemn the pastor but he could have done better than that.

Joagbaje:

That is not restitution, it is confession. Resitution is to restore what was stolen, in this case, nothing has been restored . It only brought problem that can lead to more terrible things. I don't want to condemn the pastor but he could have done better than that.

Thanks i really appreciate your comment, the problem now is the wife is really finding it hard i mean very hard to forgive the husband, she told me this morning that she has made up her mind not to trust the husband again.

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^^ HAPPY NEW YEAR madam, how af u been?

otitokoro1:

Exodus 22:1,Leviticus 5:15,Leviticus 6:4 and Luke 19

y quote old testament,are we still under the law?the only scripture backing restitution is that of zacchaeus.Jesus did not ask him to restitute.he,of his own will,just to prove how repentant he was,restituted.i am for restitution but not in all cases,and if one must,prayer and wisdom are needed so as not to cause more problems just like in this case.like joagbaje pointed out,what the lady did is confession which she shouldn't have done.both the pastor(for giving such an advise without thinking of the implication) and the lady(for being a follow-follow,my-pastor-is-always-right xtian) should be blamed.also your brother,for not stopping when the lady said stop.

peeceelove:

Pls i need replies from the men of God on this forum, i am about doing something very nasty

i am not a man of God but as a xtian,i'll advise your brother gets his pastor involve in this.it may be difficult for the wife to forgive just like that no matter how much remorse he shows.do nothing nasty and your brother shouldn't bother contacting the lady or her pastor.the wife will eventually forgive but the wound will take time to heal.

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Thanks Nairaland, I think I will show my brothers’ wife the replies of everybody that has contributed to this topic. It saddens me that so many people still take advice from Pastors that are not well founded on the word of God. A true man of God will see the consequences of this type of advice and would encourage the individual feeling the pain to forgive and move on, instead of going to REPORT HERSELF, BEFORE GOD WILL FORGIVE HER SINS. God help us all.