What does it take to go into mainstream politics in Nigeria? A friend is considering choosing a career in politics. He has already picked up a membership card of one of the political parties in the country. He intends to be rooted in politics before 2023 elections cycle. Is this achievable ?

Lalasticlala

politics is not for faint hearted, many things are involved.

Freestainworld:
politics is not for faint hearted, many things are involved.

Hmmm, quite true.

Start by lobbying to sweep the road leading to Tinubu's Bourdillon mansion. From there, once he noticed you and likes you, you will not only enter the mainstream politics but you will drink from the stream big time.

ambu2:
Start by lobbying to sweep the road leading to Tinubu's Bourdillon mansion. From there, once he noticed you and likes you, you will not only enter the mainstream politics but you will drink from the stream big time.

I used to wonder which one is the most difficult, being nominated for justice of the Supreme Court or becoming stakeholder in Nigeria political airspace?

Start a shadow NGO that sweeps roads in your community or clean gutters for free. Deceive people with your 'charity works'.

Register in a political party, ask your friends and fellow conmen in your NGO to register in that party too.

Hijack party structure, get yourself nominated and pick the party ticket. Hire assasins and thugs if need be.

Go to a shrine and swear an oath with other powerful stakeholders and leaders in the your community of interest.

Give billions to your women leaders, polling units thugs and ward thugs, LGA thugs, constituency thugs, state thugs or national thugs depending on your area and level of electoral interests.

The billions should go into campaign logistics and bribe of voters at the every level in the polling units.

Employ violence in the destruction of ballot boxes and other electoral materials in areas where you are least popular or voters are non-compliant during the elections proper.

INEC will declare you winner after cancelling elections in areas where your thugs have caused havoc and terror on opposition voters and publishing the votes from your area of strenght.


Pop champaigne!

Now the next phase of the battle begin at the courts.

Make sure you saved enough billions for the litigations that will follow at the election tribunal. The lawyers, fake witnesses, corrupt Judges will need their share of pie too.

Fake exhibits, doctored electoral documents will also need to be expertly forged (see Gov. Uzodinma vs Ihedioha for reference)

Bulldoze your way into the chambers of the judges through your lawyer, meet their clerks, arrange nocturnal meetings and ensure your lawyer points out technical errors in the lawsuits that can be used to strike out the cases against you. It helps the judges a lot better and makes their jobs easier.

If you lose at the tribunal, go to the Court of Appeal, if you lose there, go to the Supreme court..

Bribe...bribe...bribe and bulldoze your way through to victory. They'll declare you winner as long as your pocket remains deep enough.

Pop more champaigne!

Go to church for thanksgiving!

Resume office with a calmed mind the next day.

Give appointments to all your field lieutenants, benefactors and party comrades.

Congratulate them for a job welldone and start looting the public treasury to re-coup all your electoral and campaign expenses.

Good luck.


Culled from the book 'Tips for electoral victory in Nigerian zoo"

Rogersmith:
What does it take to go into mainstream politics in Nigeria? A friend is considering choosing a career in politics. He has already picked up a membership card of one of the political parties in the country. He intends to be rooted in politics before 2023 elections cycle. Is this achievable ?

Lalasticlala

I sent you a mail, check ur inbox. Thanks in anticipation.