I've been told articles are better when they begin with a story. So, here is one.
 It's a story of two people so in love; Bukola and Edosa. They have been together for about a year and a half and decided it was time for Him to meet her family.
On that day, the house was completely filled even to her grandmother. Edosa was beyond tensed for no just reason and sat at the very end of the sitting room as her father and siblings walked in.
The father was a lively man, he walked towards him and reached for a handshake to Edosa's relief. The sisters liked how good he looked; Edosa was a tall, light skinned man with chiseled cheeks and eyes that spelled innocence.
Literally everyone was in  the living room except Mrs Silvia Utomi, Bukola's mother. She was rich and influential to say the least but had a terrible mother- daughter relationship with Bukola. She would hardly ever talk about her mother, and whenever Edosa would ask why, her reason was always the same; 'she chose her career over her children'. Bukola blamed her being abused by the "House Boy" on her mother's woeful parenting skills. 
As she stepped into the room, there was this silence and in that moment Edosa knew that Bukola's mother's validation was what he really needed. 
As their eyes met, Edosa's anxiety was gone and dismay replaced it. He knew her literally. Mrs Silvia Utomi had a liking for younger men who could please her mind and her body, and Edosa was smart and terrific in the sheets. It was more than an affair between them that lasted 4 years, she was his fairy godmother. 
The awkwardness in that moment made Bukola realise that her mother was the "Mrs. Susan" Edosa told her he had an affair with before he met her.
She ran out of the room in shock and Edosa followed. 
Bukola was angry, sad, disappointed and in love. She couldn't blame Edosa, he had told her about it but not just who and moreover, it was in the past. There's nothing he can about what he's done and she accepted him as a husband with his past inclusive.
She was faced with two options; accept Him still or let it go. 

If you were Bukola, what would you do?


That's the Story and this is my question...
Does the past matter? Well, It depends on a lot of things.
First, it depends on your partner and the offence. I asked a handful of people what form of past they wouldn't be able to live with and the answers were varying and vast. Everyone had something perculiar they couldn't take. It's best to find someone who can and will accept your demons and be fine with it.
The offense in itself matters; how significant or severe and the tendency for a reoccurrence. For a man who had spent more than a decade of his life jumping from one bed to another, it's seems logical to believe He will kick off from where he left off with the right incentive. 

It also depends on Family/ church's influence on your Partner's choices. I remember a video of a man proposing to his girlfriend at a wedding. The pastor in charge rudely stopped him and asked him to see him first before he could propose to one of his daughters, all this happened as the girl stood with her head bowed down as the Pastor utterly embarrassed her "would have been fiancé". There are people who have handed over the power to make important live decisions to their parents and pastors. For those people, even if they are fine with your past, it matters less until their reverend parents or pastor approves you and your past. 

Finally, sometimes the past is never actually in the past. Past dealings can affect today's happenings, it could make it harder to trust or commit. It sometimes requires a great deal of reassurance to yourself and your partner to actually believe in the future. At the end, all that matters is what lies ahead and what should be left behind .




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Wow. This was a nice read.