BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.


Written by: Omeiza Deborah



Whenever he smiled at them, they felt it down to their feet.

Six feet tall.

Dark hair.

Blue eyes.

Broad shoulders.

What more?

The other day, when he was called upon to throw more light on a question in class, he spoke with an errie eloquence and measured cadence; both of which complemented his lithe stature.

His charm and glib tongue were the magic. All the girls seemed to gravitate towards him.



There were days when he’d walk past a set of girls and he’d hear them giggling and vividly admiring him.
They didn’t know that they weren’t to judge a book by it’s cover. If only they knew!

********

A stab of pain erupted inside his skull, clutching at his scalp. The bizarre vision returned with a fury–stark and vivid.

He squeezed his eyes tightly to see if it’d send packing this incessant hallucination, but that did little or no good.

Luckily for him, in a matter of two minutes, everything disappeared and he came back to his right mind.

“If only these girls knew that I am a lunatic, “
He muttered under his breath and gave a dark smile. “Most times, they get carried away with physical appearance and forget that there is more to each individual than the way they look. Who would think that an handsome young man like me would be going through serious mental issues?”

He spoke to himself while trying to get the pack of drugs that were stocked underneath his bed.

While he did that, the second episode of his lunacy began.

“Kill yourself! Kill yourself! Kill yourself!”

He could not stop the voice. It was etched on his skull like a sad song playing repeatedly.

” Kill yourself! kill yourself! kill yourself!”

Those commands were being screamed at him by this creature. This god-forsaken creature that came from the hades. It was pure evil. It was in his head, just behind his left ear. It was terrifying. Worse, it would not stop screaming.

“Kill yourself! kill yourself!”

The beast was relentless, 24-7. He had to silence it. He had to kill this beast, and there was only one way to do that. He would have to kill himself.

This was the usual experience of Steve, and most times he’d come to class with all shades of handsomeness, grinning from ear to ear. You would never think to that extent that anything was wrong with him.

“You’ll be fine, Steve. Everything will be okay. All I need you to do is be consistent with your medications.” He thought of what the psychiatrist said to him last. It was a lie, or maybe the drugs didn’t just work for him.

He had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but the medications that were prescribed were ineffective. That was what was behind his swinging moods. It was behind the beast.

********
At many occasions, he had forgotten that he was a Christian. There were no logical reasons for him to attend church services. He found it hard to silence that critic voice, finding errors in everything the preacher said. It was a bad experience. Everything was bleak and dark.

_”Maybe this creature is right after all. maybe everything will be fine once I end my life. The only thing is that, If I end my life myself, I’ll land in hell. And I don’t want to go to that place.”

“But you know you can’t give up! you are strong, Steve. I know I don’t understand what’s going on with you, but I know you will sail through and come out strong. I love you so much, Steve. You will be fine.”_

The voice of Steve and his best friend, Jerry were competing in his head. Who would win?

While he lay on his royal blue satin bed-cover that graced his mattress, he thought on what next to do.

“I think I’ll call it quit. I mean, virtually everyone I talk to don’t seem to understand me. What’s then the use living?” He said and decided that after the evening service that day, he’d end his life, but first, he’d inform Jerry.

*********

Something was not okay that day. Jerry woke up with a strange feeling. He was worried about his friend Steve.

“Death! death!’

“What did I just hear? Death? who? Steve?”

He said to himself.

Immediately, he put a call through to Steve, and all he said was
“I am fine, Jerry,

Trust me.”
“If you say so.” Jerry replied.

But something was not just right. Most times, whenever he had those feelings about anyone, a disaster was near. Not waiting for any further warning, he went straight to the back of his house and began to pray in the Spirit, speaking in tongues.

“The weapons of my war fare are not carnal! oh God! Oh God! Oh God! intervene!”

He uttered this few words while he continued to groan in the spirit.

“I don’t understand, Holy Spirit. Help my infirmities. This must not happen! your word said it. He will not die, but live to declare your words. He has a glorious destiny! God! Intervene!”

Kneeling down, with hand clasped against his chest, he prayed fervently.

As he opened the door, Steve followed. He was taken aback.

“Welcome, Steve.” He gave him a warm smile.

“You don’t look okay. What’s the problem?”

“I can’t stop thinking about killing myself, and I have come to inform you that I’ll do it tonight.”

“You must be joking.”

“Well, you can’t stop me! I’m fed up!”

He tried to put up an air of self-defense, but it all came down, crumbling as the tears could not but flow.

Jerry wrapped his arms around him. He felt safe, but it didn’t last. The creature became angry. It began yelling louder and louder.

“Kill yourself! kill yourself!”

Steve told himself, “Hang on. Hang on. Jerry will help you. He will find a way to silence the creature. Together he will find a way to make living worthwhile again.”

Jerry helped him to the mattress, and just after he laid down, he slept off.

He had lost all his faith.

*****

Steve slept off. Woke up the next morning with a smile as broad and bright as the sunlight. He was visited in his dream.

God heard the prayers of Jerry because he took action immediately.

Romans 8:14;

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. [ALL]

If you are led to intercede for anyone, do so without hesitation. You might be saving a life. Many lives have been lost because some persons have failed to yield to the Spirit call to intercession them.

The end.

Were you blessed? I’d love you to share your lessons learnt in the comment session below.

Source: https://omeizadeborah.com/2019/10/15/behind-closed-doors/

Yes I was blessed.

May the LORD help me to yield to His Spirits voice every moment.

Thanks so much ffor this timely piece, sis!

God bless you.