Everyone knows that the idea of men being the sole breadwinner of the family is now almost a thing of the past. But no one understands this as much as the lower-middle-class women whose husbands can barely meet their basic needs, not necessarily because they do not want to but because they just can not. These women have been forced by circumstances to take up the twin role of co-breadwinner and housekeeper/ primary caregivers of their homes.

I grew up around a lot of them, particularly civil servants and I saw firsthand the huge sacrifices they made to meet their family needs and keep their homes. These women would work regular hours, some working two jobs (my mum to once held three jobs until dad asked her to drop two because the stress was taking a toll on her health) and still come home to tackle their domestic chores, child care, and wifely duties.

At first, I didn’t recognize the pattern all around me, all I and my playmates knew was that our basic needs were almost always met and our wants were almost always answered with “no money.” I began to see things as they really were during my late teens when I became closer to my parents and they started allowing sit in on adult conversations. That period served as an eye-opener for me on the many financial issues faced by my economic class and increased my respect for the women around me.

I learned of women who worked more than one jobs, of those who took loans almost on a yearly basis (to be deducted gradually from their salaries) either to support their husband’s business, pay the house rent, enroll a family member in school (particularly state-owned and private higher institutions), help build a family house or help extended family members.

I also learned of a neighbour who after paying the entire family bills, handed whatever remained of her salary to her husband because his business had crashed a few years before and he lacked the will to start another (he would go out in the morning and come back in the evening so that the children would not know; they never knew until early adulthood). There was another neighbour who shared financial responsibility 50:50 with her husband with zero contribution to domestic Labour on his part. I could go on and on with examples cause the list is quite endless but I’d rather stop here.

Whenever I brought up the trend around them all I would hear is “never depend on a man to take care of you o, you need to work or else you and your children might go hungry, not because your husband might not want to give you o, he might not just have enough.” It made me somehow understand why some ladies are bent on finding a rich husband.

I do not have sufficient knowledge to speak for other economic classes but when it comes to the lower-middle-class, women are definitely the pillars holding the society in place.


P.S:
1. I speak of the majority. Not all Lower middle-class women actually make these sacrifices; I know a good number of them who are more concerned with their personal welfare and looks.
2. I am in no way implying that women of higher economic classes do not make sacrifices for their families. They do, but they also have the economic power to outsource most of their domestic duties, unlike the lower-middle-class women.

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