By arranged marriage I mean one in which the parents choose a husband or a wife for their child.

I cant really recollect if their is any advantages in arranged marriage.

If both parties aren't coerced into it and believe they can make it work, why not?

An advantage I see is the removal of the uncertainty of either party being a commitment-phobe

But it worked perfectly those days.
I think we are more civilized right now; that's why is not really working.

By and large, the only advantage is that; you have first hand information about the person being arranged for you and the family too. The disadvantages are more. The possibility of not liking or loving each other is there due to some habits that they may not be able to withstand. There is also the issue of fear.

Advantages of Arranged Marriages:
1. Risk of incompatability is diminished: Arranged marriages presuppose that two people are perfectly matched because they belong to the same culture, share the same religious upbringing, speak the same language, and raised in more or less the same socio-economic class.

2. Idea of divorcing is unthinkable: The chance of divorcing due to differences is not strong.

3. Extended family support has its benefits: The children are therefore supervised by close family members instead of by complete strangers, making them comfortable because they live in an atmosphere that they know well. Needless to add, when the couple has arguments, well-meaning elders can step in and offer advice

Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages:
1. Inability to make up one’s own mind: When marriages are arranged by elders or parents, this does not encourage spouses to make up their own mind about who to marry. Instead of dating and meeting people and comparing them against one’s ideals, they leave that part of the work to someone else. Should either spouse end up unhappy after being married a few years, it can be very tempting to blame one’s parents for making an unsuitable choice.

2. Love takes second priority:It is more important to consider the social and economic viability of the marriage rather than put romantic love at the forefront – which will fade anytime

3. Interference from extended family: While there are benefits to having one’s extended family close by who can offer support when needed, but some marital arguments and conflicts are settled better when only the spouses are involved. When the in-laws interfere and impose their views, this can cause stress to the marriage.

Advantages
1,easy n stress free marriage ceremony.
Disadvantages
1,In most cases u might only b satisfying ur parents intrest
2,forget about luv wat u see is wat u get
3,deep down u alwayz have ur true fantases

I guess habbi has said it all. We still have arranged marriages, especially in the villages. As a result of civilization, we have few cases of arranged marriages now. I for one am not, & have never been in support of arranged marriages, especially when young girls are given away in marriage to people, that can best be regarded as their grandfathers, throwing the lives of those innocent girls away. Thank God for civilization, that has more or less brought that era to an end.

no advantage,begining start with a clue crazy smiles and end up a bither crazy clue cry.and naggin beat fightin bitin and seperatin

In those days you hardly find divorce because of arranged marriages (the two parties grow to love each other)

Now that we have a choice to choose check out the problems associated with this so called civilization.

1. Too many late marriages out of confusion
2. Too many divorce cases out of i made the right choice at the beggining but now i dont think so
3. So many children are now wayward for lack of proper parenting by both parents
4. Guy marriages now plenty everywhere
5. Lesbianism is not out of the question
6. Beautiful chics wasting away cos the right guy has not come for them (only if one anty or uncle arrange marriage her to somebody nice )
7. I can name so many but let me allow some of the genius in d house that will oppose and add to y THEMDAYS WAS WAY BETTER!!![b][/b]

bisiaet:

I cant really recollect if their is any advantages in arranged marriage.

Arranged marriages have been the norm for most of human history.

The modern system of choosing your own partner, courtship and the concept of "marrying for love" only started about 150 years ago in the west and a little later than that here. Arranged marriage has served humanity well for centuries so its a bit silly that so many people are condemning it now.

I'm not saying its a perfect system, but its really not all that bad. As long as both parties are willing participants and the parents are acting in their children's best interests rather than because of any ulterior motives, arranged marriages are fine.

The advantage is that you end up getting married; the disadvantage is that you don't know what/ who you are marrying, which makes the whole arrangement a huge joke.

Arranged marriage has been modified in that , these days parents recommend, give them time to know themselves, before the parents finally get


involved in the matrimony.


By that, the risks of separation or divorce is eliminated or reduced.

the only advantage is that you have someone to blame once the marriage hits the rocks

None, ,i mean this is marriage we are talking about.

i don't mind arranged dating but MARRIAGE.

I support arranged marriage. Nothing wrong --- -save yourself time. lots of it.

if care is not taken you may end up hating the woman (coming from a man's point view). Blame your parents if things go wrong. Love in most cases is out of the question as you may even tell the lady that it was pressure from parents that made you marry her. Cheating will be the norm (both parties). Respect? forget it, regret?, guaranteed!!. Meanwhile the one you really wanted to get married to . . .is married to someone she does not want to. Avoid arranged marriages

One advantage is the straight and smooth course things take to get to marriage proper; quite unlike when the guy has to toast and the babe has to pose then they will get to know each other for months/years before marriage may be mentioned.  Arranged marriage also eliminates the uncertainties who experiences when dating.
The disadvantages include interferance from relations/friends who helped arrange the marriage, the inability to develop true love and forcing oneself into a mould formed by family/friends.

Arranged marriages are the most succesful, probably because of reduced expectations. Works for most!

hbabe:

One advantage is the straight and smooth course things take to get to marriage proper; quite unlike when the guy has to toast and the babe has to pose then they will get to know each other for months/years before marriage may be mentioned.  Arranged marriage also eliminates the uncertainties who experiences when dating.
The disadvantages include interferance from relations/friends who helped arrange the marriage, the inability to develop true love and forcing oneself into a mould formed by family/friends.

Well said.

The advantages of arranged marriages are great.

Remember, the couples involved are Not forced to marry. They are just recommended to each other, and if they like each other, they start dating and getting to know themselves better.

When i returned to naija after a 4 year sojourn abroad, i was really confused about who to marry, cos all the babes i knew were really into me and i spent one year jumping from one relationship to another until my mum and aunt picked my wife from a family they knew so well.
at first i was pissed off with my mum and aunt. Later on i ran into my wife in church and she had an appearance that tripped me. i liked her immediately and we got talking and later started dating.

we are now happily married.

you can always say NO if you dont like the arrangement. no be by force.  Everything is in God's hands.

My daughter posted a nude picture of herself to this site http://www.photochat.tk , and I tried to warn her only that she tell me that she wan to become a celebrity

Indians still do the arranged marriage stuff and have a lower divorce than most ethnicities

queensmith:

Arranged marriages are the most succesful, probably because of reduced expectations. Works for most!

Really? Most successful? In which part of the world please? Most definitely not Nigeria cos the ethnic group with the most cases of arranged marriages have the highest divorce rate in the country

Wumine:

Really? Most successful? In which part of the world please? Most definitely not Nigeria cos the ethnic group with the most cases of arranged marriages have the highest divorce rate in the country

May be I am missing something here. You said the ethnic group with the most cases of arranged marriages have the highest divorce rate in Naija, may be you are talking of a different naija. The ethnic group with the highest cases of arranged marriage is the huasa-Fulani, the highest divorce rate goes to the Yorubas. Hausa women are generally known for endurance, they stick to their husbands, no matter what, even when the religion liberalises the man to marry 4 (which is reducing these days for obvious reasons). In yoruba, any small wahala, the husband either sends the wife packing or she packs her things herself. If it is not settled on time, that would be another divorce case.

Anyway, arranged marriages are still done in several places around the world even in Naija, a friend got married to an arrangee recently, though both of them are from very wealthy homes and they had enough time to meet and know each other. Arranged marriages can still work afterall nobody is forcing you to marry. Modern day style is to reccomend, you do further research.

I was thinking about this and at first thought " there can't possibly be advantages to an arranged marriage". Then I realized I was probably thinking about it in the context of forced marriages especially of cousins; underage girls and the lengths to which they go to get out:

(http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/programmes/2010/12/101201_outlook_afghanistan_self_immolation.shtml)

I also thought about unattractive suitors, with buck teeth and mouth odour (I think that's left over from tales by moonlight)

In Nigeria,  at a certain age very effective systems (those snide comments, pitiful looks, weekly phone calls to check 'how far' and the endless prayers) ensure you feel like worthless crap until you're married. Once they've torn you down, no self esteem and no feelings of self-worth; you're ripe for the plucking. Once you get introduced to a 'good boy/girl' from a 'good family' you are saved! You're so grateful for their 'assistance'. There's no way it feels arranged.

The advantages would probably be more obvious for the families involved probably to a lesser extent for the actual individuals involved (don't quote me oh). Marriages unite families and strengthen community ties (mostly). A safety net if you live nearby (and faraway too) and the families would probably be very supportive especially when the children come along. All for the good of the progeny right?

Misbehave or try to break it up and then AHA! Endless interventions! Everyone in your bizness!Trapped!Forever, And dare not have a child,

Advantage: The parents might be wiser than the children and use their age and experience to good effect in picking a good match for their child, not just based on looks but on family background, observed character, compatibility, etc.

Disadvantage: There may be no love between the couple. Yes, they may grow to love each other, but what if it doesn't happen? Eeek!

Advantages: NONE
Disadvantages: NONE also!

Marriage is like playing lottery with your "Salary": You win, You win big! You loose?, aahhh, that really sucks (you're ruined for life!)

you guys are really killing me with the divorce thing. arrange marriages tend to have low divorce rates because the societies that still do arrange marriages are very traditional societies in the first place. and traditional societies frown upon divorce. arranged couples stay together not because (like someone said) they are so great but because the society will make your life miserable if you divorce, esp the woman.

dredone:

Advantages
1,easy n stress free marriage ceremony.
Disadvantages
1,In most cases u might only b satisfying your parents intrest
2,forget about luv wat u see is wat u get
3,deep down u alwayz have your true fantases

@3 this in most cases translate to infidelity

yrunvus:

the only advantage is that you have someone to blame once the marriage hits the rocks

quite possible