Firstly, How old is this wife? I am thinking she may be between 24-28 years. Already ladened with 15k private school teachers slavery salary, shoe selling, homemaking and childbearing.

Let it be known that that woman is a hardworking hustler without adequate capital. Juggling a lot and getting little without a good mentor but a bickering husband, whose idea of additional income is backyard farming and backyard idea of IT.

I didn't see any mention of househelp in this story, just a husband listing out all his essential duties for the family and at the same time belittling what his wife does, just to make a good story.

I am not seeing a lazy woman here but a man who cannot carter for his small family of four. There was no mention of her slacking on her duties as a wife and mother rather all I am seeing is a man who cannot provide effortlessly for his family rather resorting to blame games and pushing responsibilities to someone who is already doing enough.

At what point should men realise that every responsibility is a responsibility and not until you start earning huge amount of money.
She has the responsibility of taking care of her home and birthing kids, that's literally, taking care of her own side of the bargain of being a homemaker, a wife and a mother. (In this case, she is doing it without help or else he would've stated it,). Still it is not enough until you saddle her with your own responsibility of supporting you in family provision.

Do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong in supporting ones spouse but making it a must for a wife to do the work of a husband without reciprocating especially when the husband is alive, hale and hearty bugs the natural order of things.

Secondly, get your biology right. No one gets themselves pregnant by themselves except they are asexual organism like paramecium, amoeba etc. We fvck and get pregnant. Control and protect your ejaculation yourself. Do not fall into the habit of chopping and cleaning mouth and expect your swimmers not to go to work. Buy condoms and control your family size yourself since the idea of more children irks you. Your goal is not the same as your wife's, protect yours at all cost. As you made your bed, so you shall lie on it. Get through this pregnancy and childbirth first.

I am always wary of the dangers of a single story.

The problem here is you ooo.
You are throwing your tantrums here because you have not made enough money to take care of her.
She is a graduate yet she is doing a 15 thousand Naira salary work. You think she’s enjoying it. I’m sure she has been applying for jobs, yet nothing show.
You think it’s easy to run a business with little kids below five years, it’s not easy. Stay with those kids of yours for a day, ONLY, you will understand.
I’m sure you are a very hash person, it’s written all over.
Most of these ones supporting you here don’t even have five thousand Naira job to boast of,
Just type, I want to give 2000 Naira, all of them will appear, but here they are insulting a woman with children.

Saintmary:

Let him travel for a few weeks, and take the kids with him. (Probably travel to see Grandma or some relatives)
Let him leave an allowance behind.
She will sit up once she sees that the money can't cover her needs.
Do it about twice before her third trimester and call her sibling to come stay with her. Monitor things from a distance.
Ask her to chip in money for baby things.
She will sit up.

I hope you will like it, if you are treated same as you have typed.

UjuJoan2:


I can't believe I'm actually reading this from a woman. OMG!

You want her to face such pressure in her condition? What about pre-eclemsia? Or is her life expendable because she's broke?

Na wah oh!

It is the women pulling other women down lifestyle. Talking as if being pregnant is a walk in a park.

The women vilifying her might actually be the same private school teachers whose husbands carry 100percent of the homes financial burden.

cococandy:

It’s only on NL that men are absolute providers.
In reality they can’t.

If you say it then you’re baaaahd

Low ur voice naa, Haba!
Lol! We dey parkage naa

pocohantas:


Only on NL. I remember one that won’t let me rest with all his alfa-male plans. I will resign my job, he will do this, he will do that. I asked how much he will give me in a week if/when I resign, he said 7k a week. That is 28k a month. Lmao!He even tried.

Is it not on this NL we have women saying their husband said they should cut down on shopping list? Is not here we see women begging for delivery bills and money for baby things?

Abeg abeg! This is not even an insult to men. The Nigerian economy doesn’t allow that. OP should manage his homely wife. She is a homemaker.

LordKO:


Ujujoan! I have hardly seen a success-conscious person who doesn't have money. Like I said before, you may not understand my points. Besides, I didn't say my ethical leaning is automatically superior to yours, or that I am ethically better than you.

Exactly!

TheArchangel:
Firstly, How old is this wife? I am thinking she may be between 24-28 years. Already ladened with 15k private school teachers slavery salary, shoe selling, homemaking and childbearing.

Let it be known that that woman is a hardworking hustler without adequate capital. Juggling a lot and getting little without a good mentor but a bickering husband, whose idea of additional income is backyard farming and backyard idea of IT.

I didn't see any mention of househelp in this story, just a husband listing out all his essential duties for the family and at the same time belittling what his wife does, just to make a good story.

I am not seeing a lazy woman here but a man who cannot carter for his small family of four. There was no mention of her slacking on her duties as a wife and mother rather all I am seeing is a man who cannot provide effortlessly for his family rather resorting to blame games and pushing responsibilities to someone who is already doing enough.

At what point should men realise that every responsibility is a responsibility and not until you start earning huge amount of money.
She has the responsibility of taking care of her home and birthing kids, that's literally, taking care of her own side of the bargain of being a homemaker, a wife and a mother. (In this case, she is doing it without help or else he would've stated it,). Still it is not enough until you saddle her with your own responsibility of supporting you in family provision.

Do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong in supporting ones spouse but making it a must for a wife to do the work of a husband without reciprocating especially when the husband is alive, hale and hearty bugs the natural order of things.

Secondly, get your biology right. No one gets themselves pregnant by themselves except they are asexual organism like paramecium, amoeba etc. We fvck and get pregnant. Control and protect your ejaculation yourself. Do not fall into the habit of chopping and cleaning mouth and expect your swimmers not to go to work. Buy condoms and control your family size yourself since the idea of more children irks you. Your goal is not the same as your wife's, protect yours at all cost. As you made your bed, so you shall lie on it. Get through this pregnancy and childbirth first.

I am always wary of the dangers of a single story.

pocohantas:


Lmao! Please OP is trying o. 3 children plus 1 wife. Let’s not forget extended family wey no dey ever allow person rest. Make the guy no die before im time like this.

That man is just busy doing nothing jor. Why expend energy on things that are not yielding fruits in abundance? Now he is transferring aggression to his wife.

Blissquare:
Hello people. My close sousin came to me for advise but the only ideas may look harsh. I post his predicament here so that I can see neutral point of views. in his words...

[s]I married my wife while she ran a small business of buying and selling shoes but I had no idea the actual income was so little. I am a civil servant myself but I've been able to pick up my bills with the help of my knowledge of I. T. After having 2 kids, I realised that I need more income but my wife can not afford to support in anyway. I rented her a shop and furnished to sell her shoes hoping to attract more profit but she sold many on credit and could not give account of capital. later, she got a job at a school earning 15k a month. she is so complacent because I pay all the bills. Any time that I encourage her to be more productive, it ends in arguments. I farm alongside my work and hustle but she doesn't know how to be gainfully employed. I pay for everything including my kids weaving of hair. I don't plan to shift any burden to her but I expect her to save if she is gainfully employed. This pandemic has taught me many lessons. What if I was not receiving salary? what if I die? What if her parents are sick? How can a graduate be okay not doing anything tangible. I gave her an ultimatum to think of something and I would support her but instead, she got pregnant without my consent and now has an excuse not to work for the next one year. My car has broken down for months and I could not afford to fix it. Having 3kids without a car is okay by her. If she can't work or be business savvy then why did she get pregnant against my will? Do I stop giving her food or pocket money? How do I force her to work to secure her future and her children's? There is nothing wrong in having a supportive wife. Please don't misunderstand my complaints. I have spoken to her in love and harshness but none has worked. I need a practical solution.
[/s]

The solution is simple. Force your wife to accept the #15k teaching job. Then hire a maid or househelp to cook, clean, wash, groom the kids, and pay him or her 1k or 500 Naira monthly.

[s]

Nooil:



That man is just busy doing nothing jor. Why expend energy on things that are not yielding fruits in abundance? Now he is transferring aggression to his wife.

[/s]

[s]

Nooil:


Both of them are unproduçtive. They should go and learn how to make money.

[/s]

[s]

Nooil:


Lol... Did you study international relations?

[/s]

[s]

Nooil:


A man, a full-blooded man, is working as a civil servant. Do you know how irritating that is? Yet, he doesn't even have a big supporting business, he is doing backyard farming.

I'm sure the IT he is referring to is photocopying and scanning. Because if it was real IT, he will ask his wife to become a full housewife.

Yet, he has the effrontery to call someone unproductive.

[/s]

lilyheaven:

I hope you will like it, if you are treated same as you have typed.

I won't get pregnant without thoroughly checking my family finances.
It's insensitive.

Unnerve:

Barring the traveling part because he has a job to go to, I think you've got a realistic solution. Although I feel it's best to employ the tactic of choking her out with limited allowances when she is not pregnant.

It's a pragmatic solution. As long as she is well monitored, with God's help, she will put to bed successfully.

UjuJoan2:


How did she get pregnant without your consent?

Was it an immaculate conception?

This is not hard to see

They were on family planning and she stopped without his knowledge

Broaden your horizon and grow intellectually.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avDlZDxE2sI&t=2s

I saw your comments and knew youte single and have no experience on the topic of marriage let alone give marital advice. To confirm I checked a few of your previous posts and topics on nairaland which confirmed my assumption particularly your experience taking weed.
Anyways the internet is free for all

Nooil:



That man is just busy doing nothing jor. Why expend energy on things that are not yielding fruits in abundance? Now he is transferring aggression to his wife.

jaz:
I saw your comments and knew youte single and have no experience on the topic of marriage let alone give marital advice. To confirm I checked a few of your previous posts and topics on nairaland which confirmed my assumption particularly your experience taking weed.
Anyways the internet is free for all

This is how we know troublemakers. Anyway, I've decided to stop exchanging words with male nairalanders. Very few have brains. So, I'll let this slide.

[s]

Nooil:


This is how we know troublemakers. Anyway, I've decided to stop exchanging words with male nairalanders. Very few have brains. So, I'll let this slide.

[/s]

[s]

Nooil:
Just mixing some things together and letting your creativity flow. .

[/s]

[s]

Nooil:


This is how we know troublemakers. Anyway, I've decided to stop exchanging words with male nairalanders. Very few have brains. So, I'll let this slide.

[/s]

Did I hurt your feelings... didnt mean to, just mentioned an observation. Like u said, it's best to let it slide

Nooil:


This is how we know troublemakers. Anyway, I've decided to stop exchanging words with male nairalanders. Very few have brains. So, I'll let this slide.

Is this sarcasm?

Acidosis:


The solution is simple. Force your wife to accept the #15k teaching job. Then hire a maid or househelp to cook, clean, wash, groom the kids, and pay him or her 1k or 500 Naira monthly.

Gloriagee:
Is this sarcasm?

Yes dear

[s]

Nooil:


This is how we know troublemakers. Anyway, I've decided to stop exchanging words with male nairalanders. Very few have brains. So, I'll let this slide.

[/s]

Spicywify:
How did she get pregnant without your consent? Did you use protection or she got pregnant by herself?

Encourage her more. Take her along to the farm when you are going. Not everyone is business savvy. If you can help her get a better job, good for you!

She may hVe lied about her free day.