So i have been away from home (lagos) for 3 years and my lil sis who is now 16 is getting all grown, but my recent communication wit my family made me realize that she have a thing for fashion, which is making her demand more from my mum... My mom having realized this is cutting everything off, on the ground that if she doesn't get wat she wants she will go astray, even my other sister which is older than her says the same thing.
This made me spoke wit her and she told me she love fashion and all, that mom want her to b like her older sis who is focus to be independent
Now my problem is how to make her realize it not all important without making her feel everyone's against her, making her do what she wants when she get the chance and making her have this entitlement mentality like an average girl
turning to a slay queen with nothing upstairs.
"I am sure going to lagos this December by God grace"

Nonsense, na everything them go carry come here. Rubbish!

ArewaOduduwaBia:
Nonsense, na everything them go carry come here. Rubbish!

I understand but wen u don't know how to stop a problem b4 it occurs, i tink its beta asking for advice cos we get wisdom past ourselves

"... average girl turning to a slay queen with nothing upstairs"

Hahaha... you guys keep bashing and insulting girls on Nairaland and encouraging men to "use" them but you forget they are your sisters, cousins, etc. Relax bro, she'll be a slay queen mother and an "alpha" male from Nairaland will take care of the situation.

Ok, that was for the women bashers. OP, she's 16. Expect a lot of misbehaviour. She'll try to explore new things, good and bad. Guide her, keep talking to her and most importantly, do that with love and not force. If you show her love, she'll feel bad doing things that would hurt you. If you go with force, she might become rebellious and that means, deliberating doing things that you asked her not to do just to prove a point.

Good luck.

WoundedLamb:
"... average girl turning to a slay queen with nothing upstairs"

Hahaha... you guys keep bashing and insulting girls on Nairaland and encouraging men to "use" them but you forget they are your sisters, cousins, etc. Relax bro, she'll be a slay queen mother and an "alpha" male from Nairaland will take care of the situation.

Ok, that was for the women bashers. OP, she's 16. Expect a lot of misbehaviour. She'll try to explore new things, good and bad. Guide her, keep talking to her and most importantly, do that with love and not force. If you show her love, she'll feel bad doing things that would hurt you. If you go with force, she might become rebellious and that means, deliberating doing things that you asked her not to do just to prove a point.

Good luck.

thanks this is all i needed and it's enough

My dear it’s not only your own. My own that knows my salary says my phone is too small, I should get an 11. Why am I still braiding my hair, I should be flexing wigs. Please how will I afford those without prostituting? I just tell her those aren’t my problems. And really they aren’t. I want a driver, I hate driving. I want a rolls Royce, I want to own plenty homes, I want trips to Monaco and Venice, so I have to pay my dues. Been working for 5 years, still working. Where she gets this mentality from I don’t know. I just know my father will find out one of these days, and reset button will be pressed.

shegs2009:
So i have been away from home (lagos) for 3 years and my lil sis who is now 16 is getting all grown, but my recent communication wit my family made me realize that she have a thing for fashion, which is making her demand more from my mum... My mom having realized this is cutting everything off, on the ground that if she doesn't get wat she wants she will go astray, even my other sister which is older than her says the same thing.
This made me spoke wit her and she told me she love fashion and all, that mom want her to b like her older sis who is focus to be independent
Now my problem is how to make her realize it not all important without making her feel everyone's against her, making her do what she wants when she get the chance and making her have this entitlement mentality like an average girl
turning to a slay queen with nothing upstairs.
"I am sure going to lagos this December by God grace"

Seat her down and let her know that whatever fashion she wants she will get it but she must be focused in life

If she doesn't stop that mentality, means you guys have to reduce the amount of money she gets

She is just 16yrs and she needs to plan her life but if she feels she is grown now and fashion is her problem, you guys must reduce the attention she gets from you all and also reduce the amount of money you give her

The more money she gets the more she mess up with fashion

Engage her with vocational training that will keep her busy and Jamb class too

No matter what you do, Never, Never give up until she is set on the right path. I always wish I had someone who stayed through for me, maybe my elder bro. I guess I would have been better off. at 16, she is definitely vain, and materialistic. tell her to cool it , work hard, and at a time she will be able to buy whatever fashion item she desires. and when that time comes, she will realised life is more than what we possess, and those items won't mean much. I look at my shoes collections, and this pandemic make me realised how useless they are. they are gathering dust, but on that rack lay thousands of money.
if you don't nib the bud at the time and season, if your family can't meet up with her demands, she will slay to get those things anyhow. if you stay put , she will be glad that you did. do not mind anyone who will tell you to leave her to make her mistakes. my dear some mistakes, if not most, especially those that have to do with our lives are irredeemable. they leave us with a scar deeper than "leave the past behind" talks.

correct her in love, not by criticising, she will only plunge deeper into materialism.

Blessingisrael:
No matter what you do, Never, Never give up until she is set on the right path. I always wish I had someone who stayed through for me, maybe my elder bro. I guess I would have been better off. at 16, she is definitely vain, and materialistic. tell her to cool it , work hard, and at a time she will be able to buy whatever fashion item she desires. and when that time comes, she will realised life is more than what we possess, and those items won't mean much. I look at my shoes collections, and this pandemic make me realised how useless they are. they are gathering dust, but on that rack lay thousands of money.
if you don't nib the bud at the time and season, if your family can't meet up with her demands, she will slay to get those things anyhow. if you stay put , she will be glad that you did. do not mind anyone who will tell you to leave her to make her mistakes. my dear some mistakes, if not most, especially those that have to do with our lives are irredeemable. they leave us with a scar deeper than "leave the past behind" talks.

correct her in love, not by criticising, she will only plunge deeper into materialism.

Wish i can show her this to let her know we are not against her but driving her to the right path

This could be an avenue to teach her how to make money. How do we do this- since she loves fashion can she atleast sell them maybe on Jumia or start another business for her. I have a 16yrs girl in my RAGP team and she is doing extremely great. She calls herself the youngest business partner. If she learns how hard it is to get money this will reduce her idea of free money

Start her up and ask her to use her profit to buy whatever she wants. You can loan her say N10,000 to start anything and she will repay back. This way you show her how money is earned. Am here if you want more ideas.

shegs2009:
So i have been away from home (lagos) for 3 years and my lil sis who is now 16 is getting all grown, but my recent communication wit my family made me realize that she have a thing for fashion, which is making her demand more from my mum... My mom having realized this is cutting everything off, on the ground that if she doesn't get wat she wants she will go astray, even my other sister which is older than her says the same thing.
This made me spoke wit her and she told me she love fashion and all, that mom want her to b like her older sis who is focus to be independent
Now my problem is how to make her realize it not all important without making her feel everyone's against her, making her do what she wants when she get the chance and making her have this entitlement mentality like an average girl
turning to a slay queen with nothing upstairs.
"I am sure going to lagos this December by God grace"

Whenever you have the time, get some items and take her along with you to different orphanages and motherless babies' home at different times. Don't tell her anything. Let her see and learn about life and privileges by herself and how to appreciate and be thankful for what she gets.

If she doesn't change after that, then there's nothing you can do but leave her to live out that phase.

Good luck with that. She didn't just develop that mentality out of the blues. It's easier to correct a bent twig than a grown tree. And you know the worst part? They eventually learn their mistakes when older & wiser but it's already part & parcel of them, so it's more like being dragged down to the depths by a drowning person you're trying to save in the end.

Small small girls these dey hardly hear word..