Well, during my university days I was always showed a stubborn attitude to my Mum. I loved het but found it hard to express it. I lost my Dad at the age of ten, so I would say I was raised by my Mum for most of my younger years.

Back then in college, she'll always call to check up on me but I'll either miss the call or purposely ignore it. And I won't bother to call back. This went on throughout my whole period of schooling. I wanted to change but found it hard.

My Mum always asked me why I hated her so much. Among all my siblings I was the only one who was emotionally unavailable.

One day out of anger I said "I can go 5 years without speaking or hearing from you and I won't be bothered".

I saw the look in her eyes and then she said "I'll still love you no matter what". I've never felt more stupid in my entire life and I regretted making that statement and apologized, but ever since then my family has not looked at me the same way.

It's been years since that incident happened but they all relate with me as carefully as possible, because they fear I might get angry and actualize my statement.

Sometimes I ask God why he made me this way. I'm trying my best to change and if I had the chance I'll go back in time and take back that statement.

I love you Mum even though I find it hard to express it.

God did not make you that way, please leave our sky daddy out of it...
I mean you honestly can't claim you've been like so since you were a toddler, can you?

You need to do some introspection and dig a little deeper.
What happened to you, when exactly did your relationship with your mom degenerate, what do you blame her for?

These are some of the questions you have to ask yourself, then answer them as honestly as possible.

Even if you're going to lie to everyone else, you must always ensure that you NEVER lie to yourself... this is one very important credo to live by.

Believe me when I tell you that people lying to themselves and believing their own lies, is one of the most common mental health challenges faced by many – you should try to excise yourself from this statistic and figure yourself out.

My favourite phrase for this is, Discover Yourself.