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Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? - Culture (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by themaestro08(m): 11:48am On Oct 05, 2020
Its the Nigerian way bro, some people are educated but lack exposure and open-mindedness.

It's time we get rid of such archaic mentality.
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Princessbettyj(f): 11:48am On Oct 05, 2020
Vyzz:





Talk true?....



Why don't u reply to it?


I just told you what it means to me tho,hence I don't reply
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by kayuseful: 11:50am On Oct 05, 2020
It's nothing about Africa.
Respect is a universal value. It's how it's implemented that may differ from nation to nation.

In French, it's disrespectful too, but there's how you can ask about an elder. You don't say comment ça va ?
Rather put : comment allez vous ?

That's why in English you have formal and formal settings and the language you may or may not use.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Vyzz: 11:51am On Oct 05, 2020
Princessbettyj:


I just told you what it means to me tho,hence I don't reply

Okay....

How far....

Wetin we fit use substitute am
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by kikelomojessy(f): 11:54am On Oct 05, 2020
Just add sir or ma. How are you madam or how are you sir, and u will get a very good response.
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by rukell(m): 11:57am On Oct 05, 2020
[quote author=fairheart post=94625352]

How many adults do you have in your circle? How many of these told you they feel belittled and disrespected when you ask: How are you?
Your conclusion is fictitious.
It is an honour when you ask a fellow human being that question. If any of the adult in your circle have felt and told you they feel disrespected, then they are not adult and matured at all. And you must reshufle your circle and walk with enlightened and honourable people!
Matured people ask themselves this question all the time. So if you ask me: How are you? I'd typically tell you I am doing fabulous! I am doing great! All is well. It's an honour to see someone check on me in a selfish world.

Some Nigerians are just arrogant.

God Bless u

1 Like

Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Josywhyte: 11:58am On Oct 05, 2020
Na adults wey no get sense or dey exposed or civilized dey do all those ones. A little boy in my area asks me this question everytime he sees me and i gladly answer him. There's nothing wrong with it

1 Like

Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Princessbettyj(f): 12:05pm On Oct 05, 2020
Vyzz:



Okay....


How far....


Wetin we fit use substitute am



grin angry grin no idea lol
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Abbeylanre15(m): 12:07pm On Oct 05, 2020
mikezuruki:
I have noticed that adults in this part of the world perceive that to be insult.

They feel belittled and disrespected.

Why?


In Nigeria, Respect means a lot to us. White folks won't see it as anything. One is expected to add Ma/Sir to it in Nigeria..
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by BarrElChapo(m): 12:14pm On Oct 05, 2020
BornnAgainChild:
How are you can be termed an insult when it's coming from a much younger person.

I think the problem is most people dont understand English Language, it's not just to speak it fluently that matters, rather ; do you understand what you speak

For instance ,

On a fateful morning, I got to work and instead of one of my boy to simply say Good Morning, he said " Mama, How you dey "

Throughout that day hell was let loose on him for that.


But still on still Mama, how you dey ? grin grin
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by BarrElChapo(m): 12:20pm On Oct 05, 2020
Samiah33:

why did you use "Sir" ? we claim to be exposed and see what our exposure has cause us, go to Japan and see how with all the money they have they still believe in their culture

Pls can you couch what he should ask the man without using how are you sir ? And get the man talking. You're going overboard imo
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by ecomalchemist(m): 12:28pm On Oct 05, 2020
Kamdil:
In this part of the world it isn't polite by African tradition. You don't relate with an older person in such manner, that is lack of courtesy. It can only be proper after greeting him, and accord him that respect, then you can now say, ' how are you sir/ma'
Or how are you doing sir/ma.
Not 'how are you' like he is your mate

Sorry oo, I hope the courtesy you are looking for will put money in your account.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by cosade(m): 12:29pm On Oct 05, 2020
mikezuruki:
I have noticed that adults in this part of the world perceive that to be insult.

They feel belittled and disrespected.

Why?

It depends.

If one’s first language is English then it shouldn’t be an issue.

However, if your first language is an African native language like Yoruba then it could be an issue.

The way the brain and mind work are to “think and process” information in one’s first language. Someone that grew up with Yoruba as his first language will found it strange for a younger person to ask him “How are you?”. Unconsciously, the person’s system will translate that to “Bawo ni?” or “Se daada ni?”. In Yoruba land, it’s the older person that normally ask the younger ones such questions.

Same way, a Yoruba man whose first language is Yoruba could mistakenly report the speech of an elderly person starting with “They said......” instead of “He said......”

So this more about conflict of cultures.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Kamdil: 12:30pm On Oct 05, 2020
ecomalchemist:


Sorry oo, I hope the courtesy you are looking for will put money in your account.
and I hope ur rudeness and lack of courtesy will elevate u too?
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by BarrElChapo(m): 12:31pm On Oct 05, 2020
demoBaba:
That's true, there's different between

1. How are you

2. How are you sir/ma

I think it's disrespect to ask your senior one .....How are you


As a yoruba man

If you put sir will it make it better ? If no pls kindly tell how inquire about an elder's well being without using how are you ?
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by ecomalchemist(m): 12:46pm On Oct 05, 2020
AFONAMARO:


Oga shift! In fact, dress go far! Which kain yeye African respect!

Whenever i speak to my Pop's or Old girl, i go, Mpa/Mma, good morning, kee k'imere? And that's what's up!

Ona for kuku carry respect for head like gala

You dey mind am, all this people wey dey clamour for respect but no get money for inside account.

Na the respect he go chop las las cause na afonja dey carry this thing for head.
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by KingAzubuike(f): 12:57pm On Oct 05, 2020
It's a Nigerian mentality. They believe it's to be used on someone you're older than but if such fools find themselves overseas and a small boy asks them "how are you", they'll be shining teeth .

Same way the yorubas feel insulted by using "bawo ni" or "O" instead of "Eh". Lol.

Na frustrated, sufferhead people wey no get money for account dey take such things serious.

Rich and successful people over look it.
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by showafrica(m): 1:01pm On Oct 05, 2020
mikezuruki:
I have noticed that adults in this part of the world perceive that to be insult.

They feel belittled and disrespected.

Why?

In the east, children ask adults how are you and we answer fine dear. May be na afonja Republic you are talking about bc even saying good morning while standing upright is an offence. They want u to lie down flat to show respect. An average afonja man like respect too much.
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Timijo(m): 1:12pm On Oct 05, 2020
mikezuruki:
I have noticed that adults in this part of the world perceive that to be insult.

They feel belittled and disrespected.

Why?
The reason behind this is not far fetched from the direct translation into one's native language. For instance, it is translated into "Bawo ni?" in the Yoruba language. "Bawo ni?" is commonly used among people of the same age group or those who are familiar with themselves. Let's just say it is an informal way of asking for one's welfare in the Yoruba language.
Therefore, it is disrespectful for a younger person to ask his or her elder, "Bawo ni". He or she can say, "Sa 'lafia le wa?" Or "Bawo wo le se wa?" But this "Bawo wo le se wa?" is not common.
It means "Lafiya kuwa?" in the Hausa language but the commonly used one is Yaya ne or yaya ka ke? And it is not offensive when you say that to an elderly person.
In the Russian language, it means Как дела? and it is not offensive just as it is to an Englishman. Everyone uses it regardless of their age group. It is read as kak dela? You can also say Как ты?

But mind you, if certain tribe finds it disrespectful you must respect their culture.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by laiperi: 1:14pm On Oct 05, 2020
Somebody already explained the respect you give to elders in French. But others cling to English and American cultures.

It is like saying half education is bad. Take the British for example. A very class oriented society with all types of appellations discarded in the US. Like sir, Lord, madam etc. Even bow and kneel. Most Africans mix with the lowest class where these are not observed and they come home to lecture us about English culture. The Africans exposed to higher class know better.

Yes, Americans discarded most of the formalities but retain touching of the hat, sir, ma'am, bow and worship status unless hidden.

Americans wear jeans alright but for informal and working conditions. Now there is a new style where expensive suit coat or jackets are worn on top of jeans. Even t-shirt worn under expensive suits.

The problem here is half-baked culture. You do not come back from London and try to impose half-baked or learned culture on us.

Africans have very rich respected cultures.

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Nobody: 1:19pm On Oct 05, 2020
showafrica:


In the east, children ask adults how are you and we answer fine dear. May be na afonja Republic you are talking about bc even saying good morning while standing upright is an offence. They want u to lie down flat to show respect. An average afonja man like respect too much.

Don't throw insults. We are trying to educate ourselves here
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by JIMMY1393: 1:27pm On Oct 05, 2020
Iyoocartel:
Iyooooooo cartel

Adults with low self esteem precisely.
For ogbe even some broke lame ass adults find how va Insulting, they always feel they should be the one to ask you how va and you tell them how you are.

Those mugus don't know it's money that's seniority cool
k
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by wisemania(m): 1:35pm On Oct 05, 2020
Learning never ends!
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Friend22(m): 1:35pm On Oct 05, 2020
tobechi74:


Be specific, African adult

Those raised abroad do not

This so called abroad culture you youhth of these days are trying to incorporate will eventually ruin you all in no time .
I don't doubt it.
Youths are as misguided as their emotions want to set standard for all to follow.
The way and manner you address an eider tells us what kind of home you were raised.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by SirMichael1: 1:42pm On Oct 05, 2020
Donspicey:
be like say u no get elders for ur village abi mind u u re talking to a DON
Again, no one cares!
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by GreenDee(f): 1:48pm On Oct 05, 2020
it depends on who is saying it and the relationship the person has to the person he is saying it to.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Nobody: 1:50pm On Oct 05, 2020
Earth2:
I find it insulting.how can a small boy or a small girl ask me" how are u" or hw u dey? cool
or how far

1 Like

Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Friend22(m): 1:51pm On Oct 05, 2020
KingAzubuike:
It's a Nigerian mentality. They believe it's to be used on someone you're older than but if such fools find themselves overseas and a small boy asks them "how are you", they'll be shining teeth .

Same way the yorubas feel insulted by using "bawo ni" or "O" instead of "Eh". Lol.

Na frustrated, sufferhead people wey no get money for account dey take such things serious.

Rich and successful people over look it.

This oyinbo wey una dey carry for head as if na dem be alpha and omega of standard na very foolish thing if you ask me.
Personally, I find it insulting for a young person to be asking me "how are you?" as the very first word to say while greeting.
It may appear as a form of endearment or shown of concern ,but it does not reflect hierarchy as per age.
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Friend22(m): 2:02pm On Oct 05, 2020
Josywhyte:
Na adults wey no get sense or dey exposed or civilized dey do all those ones. A little boy in my area asks me this question everytime he sees me and i gladly answer him. There's nothing wrong with it

You are on the way .
Don't worry you will soon get there.
A time will come a child will slap you and say it is done abroad and I will be glad to see it when that day comes.
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Draei: 2:09pm On Oct 05, 2020
uchman:
My wife use to ask me that and it's always heavy in my mouth to answer...

Your wife?
So what or how should she say it? How are you sir?
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by Friend22(m): 2:11pm On Oct 05, 2020
QuinieR:
I remember saying it to one of my street aunty last week..she saw me and called my name,I replied her Good morning aunty,how are you..
Aunty change it for me immediately telling me she is not my mate blablabla..I was shocked undecided

Low mentality....Tueh angry

She is very right.
She is not your mate.
This borrowed mentality you young folks carry around will eventually ruin you.
I know most of you affirming this rubbish are still young or trying to appear woke when you are not.

If any young girl tries that thing with me,I go match her belle.
Re: Why Do Adults Find "How Are You?" Insulting? by BornnAgainChild(f): 2:28pm On Oct 05, 2020
BarrElChapo:


But still on still Mama, how you dey ? grin grin


Lol...I dey kampe

So where are we having dinner

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