Hello,

Hello ....

Hello oo. .hello ooo..Choi.My Tecno N3 don start to day misbehave again ....I must to put earpiece before i fit see Call receive.....

I no hear you ooooo "" i said to the caller..

. " Hello Hello "Abeg. Wait make i do something abeg.Na so i cut the phone.


E no fit kuku pass my mumu guys.... And wetin dem be wan follow me talk ?? E no fit pass thread for nairaland wey dem want make i see or One leaked nude or tweet fight dey shele for Twitter..

Worst come to worst pata pata, Dem go talk about Some new babes for hood or how Chelsea take dey drop like dem dey find oil...before one mumu go con start with why Lucious suppose don kill Cookie for Empire..

Dem no go ever call for money or my progress.Mbanu . I sabi the kind people wey dey get my number.


i Quickly Removed The Yellow Rubber Bands wey i use tie the battery,i comot the LG Battery way i dey use for am...I use teeth taste the Thing wey dey make d battery work...The thing shock me for mouth . Grrrrr .Ehn

The Thing still get charge naa ... i put am back quickly..

Use the Rubber band tie am back.Sharply i rush go insyd go look for my earpiece... I couldn't find it..I check table. Check under my foam .i no see am..

Phone still dey ring , dey ring.. As if na kitchen i put d thing oo, i go kitchen..no see am.go toilet no see am..Haha..

missed calls don dey reach like 6..i searched everywhere. To no avail...And this number wey dem call me i no save am...Make he no go be all dese my guys oo...i swear i go swear for them ni..

After like 30 mins wey i don dey Search ,they Sweat Salt comot body.i sit down make i reflect where i fit put my ear piece. as i rest head small For wall..i dey feel something like sharp wey dey chook for hand..

The Earpiece had been wrapped around my neck all this while.My God !!!!

By this time, the caller bin stop call..Credit to call am back...Zero...Borrowing i dey owe My two network providers 100 each wey i never repay ...Abeg if na better news the caller get he go call back jare..No time.

i sit down. They watch my walking dead season 3 dey go for my system..

What's the relationship between your heading/title and the content?

Watching walking dead or pornhub?

Trayceey:
What's the relationship between your heading/title and the content?

Follow the thread

Nawa oooo

Make I erect signpost here to direct new members

Trayceey:
What's the relationship between your heading/title and the content?

Isn't it obvious

Episode two

Tring tring..The phone ring again...I sharply plug my earpiece.... Unknown number these days person gats dey careful..

As i plug am finish .i no talk anything...I no fit con talk ..con go dey comot Blood for mouth ..Tufiakwa...I never reach anywhere yet..

" Hello".

I no talk..

Hello ... ..I no talk ..

Pls i am speaking with Boo Osin..The Voice asked..

" Yes ....i said ..a bit relaxed....... At least na Man voice

" With the Moniker.. GoatMeat on nairaland ?? The voice asked again.

" Yes "
" Are you alone "

Omo dis Questions don dey too much oo....which kind rubbish Talk be this.. Me am never alone ,Jesus is always with me ...Na wetin him go talk make him talk naa.


" Yes ...i said getting irritated..make dis person talk quick abeg.time no day..

" Ok...This is Lalasticlala from Nairaland

" Lol. thunder faya your yansh ...i said as i bursted into a prolonged laughter. My whole 32 teeth and tongue na hin i shine.. Lala go call me..Where hin get my number

Lol Lala nko.Lackadasikal ni...Which kind yeye prank dis guy dey pull this early .


" Yes This is Lalasticlala ....why d Laughter tho ??

Haha.Omo dis Voice no resemble anybody I know own sha...person can fit perceive poverty and hardship for voices of everyone I know ..

But this voice cool and calm . for d voice..

" Ok make we even talk sey na u be Lala my number no dey my profile naw.

" Haha .You are very funny.We have our way round such things .

Omo classcaptain is back, best Nairaland story writer..
Make I go buy popcorn.

El Captain is back!

E remain flow1759

Episode 3

Anyways i have sent u several emails which u have declined to answer...

Haa . No vex , I been subscribe to pornhub and since I gave my life to Christ I had to do away with the email account to avoid checking out the ebony school daughter shows white supremacist step dad the kitty kat type of videos they send to my mail .

Lol. Boo boo. " Anyway... ..Pls try and quote me with your new email..We are currently working on rewarding some Nairalanders and making some ambassadors... With a handsome pAyment worth....


Grrr grrr greer ( network failure )



" Hello ..Hello......Hello... Shey lala bin don cut d phone ? Haha...

Which kind thing be this ?? Wetin i be wey dem wan reward me with ambassador ??

Omo but y dis guy no talk d amount sef..Choi.. This may be my final final chance to say Bye bye To MTN and their 10mb bonus data oo
seun ?? Say bye bye to the life of buying sims, borrowing money on them and breaking them afterwards .

Seun Osewa Haa..Na lie na lie by d time wey na true go come, make person eye go con lerri like person way day take expired colorado


ambassador ?? Nairaland ?? I no sabi the kind spirit wey i take jump comot from bed.To hell with Walking Dead..Am a living Alive..And i need money to survive..If na to borrow i go borrow.. Make i go find money Buy card reply lala.

Na endorsement we day talk about for here o . I no go allow village people use lack of airtime block my glory .

Classcaptain continue abeg pop corn don almost finish

Seat booked

Baba is back

Episode Four


I rushed out like premature ejaculation and ran to the semi completed building of my very good friend , mynd4 to borrow his phone .

I knocked , ko ko ko ko .

Who day here .. who day here ?

Who be that ? : He asked

Na me o ..

Na only God day bear na me . I say who goes there .?

Na be boo osin o .


Immediately I mentioned my name , I could hear rambling of plates and sounds like my friend is trying to rearrange something .

As I enter , na him I see my guy hand they drip of egusi o .

" Ahn ahn , mynd my guy , you been day chop

" Ah boo, no o, I just day wash yesterday's plate for kitchen ,na him I con hear you knock

" Oh oh , na the yesterday plate stew fill your mouth for side like this ..?

I could see the look on his face when he knew his lie has been busted .

" Abeg boo, wetin carry you come ".. he responded, trying to " rugged" the whole situation and totally ignored my question.

" Ehnn, you never even allow me sit down or anything . Anyways , abeg I fit see your phone use ..

" My phone

" Yes now , abeg gimme me asap e day important .
If the credit finish no borrow money on top am.oh , cos the last time, na me pay the 400 naira wey you borrow for my sim .


Una see wetin broke man day face.hide food , con insult me on top because you want gimme ordinary nokia 3310 to make call . Oga o, everything go soon change now sha . Make I call who I want call first ..

With that , mynd handed me the rubber band tied broken screen nokia 3310 Handset and told me to go and make the call outside , apparently he wants to quickly finish his food .

Shior, I copied lala's number and dialed

Classcaptain abeg continue na

ClassCaptain:
Hello,

Hello ....

Hello oo. .hello ooo..Choi.My Tecno N3 don start to day misbehave again ....I must to put earpiece before i fit see Call receive.....

I no hear you ooooo "" i said to the caller..

. " Hello Hello "Abeg. Wait make i do something abeg.Na so i cut the phone.


E no fit kuku pass my mumu guys.... And wetin dem be wan follow me talk ?? E no fit pass thread for nairaland wey dem want make i see or One leaked nude or tweet fight dey shele for Twitter..

Worst come to worst pata pata, Dem go talk about Some new babes for hood or how Chelsea take dey drop like dem dey find oil...before one mumu go con start with why Lucious suppose don kill Cookie for Empire..

Dem no go ever call for money or my progress.Mbanu . I sabi the kind people wey dey get my number.


i Quickly Removed The Yellow Rubber Bands wey i use tie the battery,i comot the LG Battery way i dey use for am...I use teeth taste the Thing wey dey make d battery work...The thing shock me for mouth . Grrrrr .Ehn

The Thing still get charge naa ... i put am back quickly..

Use the Rubber band tie am back.Sharply i rush go insyd go look for my earpiece... I couldn't find it..I check table. Check under my foam .i no see am..

Phone still dey ring , dey ring.. As if na kitchen i put d thing oo, i go kitchen..no see am.go toilet no see am..Haha..

missed calls don dey reach like 6..i searched everywhere. To no avail...And this number wey dem call me i no save am...Make he no go be all dese my guys oo...i swear i go swear for them ni..

After like 30 mins wey i don dey Search ,they Sweat Salt comot body.i sit down make i reflect where i fit put my ear piece. as i rest head small For wall..i dey feel something like sharp wey dey chook for hand..

The Earpiece had been wrapped around my neck all this while.My God !!!!

By this time, the caller bin stop call..Credit to call am back...Zero...Borrowing i dey owe My two network providers 100 each wey i never repay ...Abeg if na better news the caller get he go call back jare..No time.

i sit down. They watch my walking dead season 3 dey go for my system..

bro.have u seen a doctor?(no oofense)

Class captain oya continue d to tory

Episode 5

Fortunately for me o . Lala picked the call .

Hello , hello snake man . Snake man . Please am I unto lalasticlala.

" Haha ,who be this o

" Na me boo osin o boo osin "

Oh , Mr boo . I have been trying to reach you ever since but your number has consistently been unreachable .

Haa my brother , see let us leave all this long story . I am fully available now please . Daalu please .

" Oh boo . No problem ehn . But please I am quite busy posting and all now. Send me some recharge card so I can call you in 2 hours and we will discuss more .

Haa. I was taken aback like a rat chewing some grains of rice upon discovering that's it's a trap by the human species .

How can lala be asking for recharge card .

" Hello boo are you still there .
" Yes sir. . yes o I am there, did you just say I should send recharge card now


Yes now , I am currently indoors as I am still posting and all and I cannot go out to get it. So send some recharge card like 500 naira own . Mtn o .

Omoh .

I reason am true true say lala na super mod and e fit day busy on top laptop , posting , editing and banning idiotic posters on romance and politics section especially . It is highly possible he didn't have time to go out and get the recharge cards .

" I will send it boss ." I told him still excited with the ambassadorship role NL was offering me

Boss , are you still sure I am getting this ambassador thing . I asked , beaming with sheer excitement

" Haha boo . Na lala now . I don lie for you before.


Oh okay boss I trust you . I go hustle the card give you now , na smalls .

Haven ended the conversation. , I knew mynd will surely ask me for anything for the boys if I attempted to leave through the front page .

I peeped left and right like a 10 year old boy about to pick 50 naira note from the floor . I silently dropped the phone and tiptoed to the back door to escape .

I was almost closing the door when I heard mynds voice

" Bastard , boo no run oo. This boy . You no go gimme ....

. Aseh Mynd no get mind . Ode boy .. me way I don reach my street already .

Baba tried to chase me for a while untill he got tired , gave me " Waka" and swore for me while also warning me never to come to his place again .

His anger was not only based on the fact that I used his phone and airtime , it was fueled by the fact that I took 5 out of the 6 fried meat he ignorantly placed inside his kitchen as well as two packs of his dangote salt , two onions and three hungry man size noodles .

The baba no even grateful say I no carry too much . Shior

Make I go find how I go reason lala the 500 naira Mtn airtime abeg .

Nice one

I dey enjoy am. Oya continue

ClassCaptain:
Hello,

Hello ....

Hello oo. .hello ooo..Choi.My Tecno N3 don start to day misbehave again ....I must to put earpiece before i fit see Call receive.....

I no hear you ooooo "" i said to the caller..

. " Hello Hello "Abeg. Wait make i do something abeg.Na so i cut the phone.


E no fit kuku pass my mumu guys.... And wetin dem be wan follow me talk ?? E no fit pass thread for nairaland wey dem want make i see or One leaked nude or tweet fight dey shele for Twitter..

Worst come to worst pata pata, Dem go talk about Some new babes for hood or how Chelsea take dey drop like dem dey find oil...before one mumu go con start with why Lucious suppose don kill Cookie for Empire..

Dem no go ever call for money or my progress.Mbanu . I sabi the kind people wey dey get my number.


i Quickly Removed The Yellow Rubber Bands wey i use tie the battery,i comot the LG Battery way i dey use for am...I use teeth taste the Thing wey dey make d battery work...The thing shock me for mouth . Grrrrr .Ehn

The Thing still get charge naa ... i put am back quickly..

Use the Rubber band tie am back.Sharply i rush go insyd go look for my earpiece... I couldn't find it..I check table. Check under my foam .i no see am..

Phone still dey ring , dey ring.. As if na kitchen i put d thing oo, i go kitchen..no see am.go toilet no see am..Haha..

missed calls don dey reach like 6..i searched everywhere. To no avail...And this number wey dem call me i no save am...Make he no go be all dese my guys oo...i swear i go swear for them ni..

After like 30 mins wey i don dey Search ,they Sweat Salt comot body.i sit down make i reflect where i fit put my ear piece. as i rest head small For wall..i dey feel something like sharp wey dey chook for hand..

The Earpiece had been wrapped around my neck all this while.My God !!!!

By this time, the caller bin stop call..Credit to call am back...Zero...Borrowing i dey owe My two network providers 100 each wey i never repay ...Abeg if na better news the caller get he go call back jare..No time.

i sit down. They watch my walking dead season 3 dey go for my system..

classcaptain wherr you dey?

Hmmm

Ay04z:
I dey enjoy am. Oya continue

Coming . Sorry for the long break

ClassCaptain:

Coming . Sorry for the long break

boss we dey wait o

Classcaptain!!!!!!

Anybody saw class captain

Ay04z:
Anybody saw class captain

Will be here soon .

ClassCaptain:


Will be here soon .

nawah for you oh