My brother's wife is troublesome. My brother is a quiet type. When I was staying with them it's always one trouble or the other. I was thinking that it was because of me that is making her to be that aggressive on him so I relocated to my uncle's house.
The bone of contention is always
1.You don't buy clothes for me
2.You don't buy my body cream
3.You don't care if I make my hair or not etc
My brother is just an average income earner that stays in a rented apartment that he pays 170.000 per year. With 3 kids. He doesn't have a car
For me, I think he's trying his best to make his wife understand that this is not time to spend money anyhow because of the economy, to no avail
Last week I visited them and met my brother when he was asking an elderly man in the neigbourhood of the best way to formally lay complain to her family . Because according to him she is now acting more provocative that may lead to a fight. And he does not want to lay his hand on her so that she will not turn the narrative that is because he beats her that is why she was doing what she was doing to him.

I just wish I can advise him but I'm not capable, that is why I said I should seek mature opinion here on what you think he should do

Though my brother said that her brother are not supporting her, her mother seems to be silent when she heard about it sometime ago. That may be because she is too old to even think of cautioning her daughter who she is depending on.


My brother said is time to do something before she lead him to destruction. pls let's advise him.


Updated
Things like to wash bathroom, bath the children, and general house work, according to the wife is no longer her responsibility again. She wants my brother to get a house help that will do those things. Even though she does not work. Since her business went under do to her lack of saving mentallity, and starting another one for her according to my brother is a waste of money.

1. If the wife is sb who requires high maintenance, I think she should get herself a job. There is every tendency she is jobless from your epistle.


Of course, women need maintenance, not being overly entitled tho. The husband can also give her some money for her hairdo and maintenance. It wouldn't attract much ado. There is also every tendency your brother doesn't give her money for anything.


That's bad.


For example, my wife should look beautiful always. She may need some things she may not tell me. Yes, she knows my income and should be considerate yet level her needs to what I can afford; she must also be working so a sense of responsibility will be there. Giving her monthly and timely sum of money is not a bad idea.



All these hand writings were boldly written on the wall before they got married. What changed?


Didn't they notice this red-card signs while courting?





2.

I just wish I can advise him but I'm not capable, that is why I said I should seek mature opinion here on what you think he should do

It you cannot advise him, how will ours contain him?

You, your brother, and your brother's wife should all go and sit down!


It's time the owner of this forum create a section for marital crises. We're tired of these consistent rants of married people in this forum. No one send una go marry!!

This is normal when a man is in struggling mode don't bother trying to stop her just advice your brother to use it as a stepping stone .

Nothing breaks a sister's heart more than seeing her brother she loves and has so much respect for being disrespected, and there's little or nothing she can do about it.

Op, are you Yoruba?

mariahAngel:
Nothing breaks a sister's heart more than seeing her brother she loves and has so much respect for being disrespected, and there's little or nothing she can do about it.

Op, are you Yoruba?

oh dear you just defined me. I personally think that things are hard for him now because is this my brother that trained me till I got my hnd in the polytechnic.

No, I'm from the east

Your brother has found himself tethered to one of the worst types of women a man can ever be cursed with in life – she feels entitled to a good life, but is jobless and has no interest in working her ass off to acquire some of that life for herself.
On top of all this, she's also someone of poor character, completely lazy, and a spendthrift...

I can't help but wonder why your brother did not see traces of any of these things (and there's a lot) before settling down with her, this I cannot understand... Is it that she has Rihanna looks combined with Beyonce's nyansh?

What a pity!

Now I won't be surprised if she's already cheating on him... and even if she isn't doing that yet, her type won't be too hard to seduce at all.
Either way, she's a lost cause because any woman that can disrespect her husband like this should ONLY be kept close if the man has a death wish.

All that talk about how your brother is seeking a means to lay complaints to her family is a complete waste of time in my opinion. The best way to send a strong message is to kick her out – let her go to her family herself and report him for throwing her out, they will request for an explanation from him themselves regarding what happened.
Even if they don't do this but choose to make a decision to take her side because of whatever tale she must have spun, nothing spoil... it's still good riddance and bye-bye to yeye wife and yeye family.

As for the kids, you can go stay with them to help out after his wife is gone, at least until the families can reach a settlement – whatever that will be.

Meanwhile, please tell your brother to disregard any advice telling him to open another business for his wife to get her busy, or to buy her any those things she's been nagging about.
Even if doing this will bring peace, it won't be a lasting peace because she will simply increase her demands as time goes on knowing how he'll always concede to her just to avoid issues.

A sensible man should never reward a woman's bad behaviour.

gentlesil:
My brother's wife is troublesome. My brother is a quiet type. When I was staying with them it's always one trouble or the other. I was thinking that it was because of me that is making her to be that aggressive on him so I relocated to my uncle's house.
The bone of contention is always
1.You don't buy clothes for me
2.You don't buy my body cream
3.You don't care if I make my hair or not etc
My brother is just an average income earner that stays in a rented apartment that he pays 170.000 per year. With 3 kids. He doesn't have a car
For me, I think he's trying his best to make his wife understand that this is not time to spend money anyhow because of the economy, to no avail
Last week I visited them and met my brother when he was asking an elderly man in the neigbourhood of the best way to formally lay complain to her family . Because according to him she is now acting more provocative that may lead to a fight. And he does not want to lay his hand on her so that she will not turn the narrative that is because he beats her that is why she was doing what she was doing to him.

I just wish I can advise him but I'm not capable, that is why I said I should seek mature opinion here on what you think he should do

Though my brother said that her brother are not supporting her, her mother seems to be silent when she heard about it sometime ago. That may be because she is too old to even think of cautioning her daughter who she is depending on.


My brother said is time to do something before she lead him to destruction. pls let's advise him.


Updated
Things like to wash bathroom, bath the children, and general house work, according to the wife is no longer her responsibility again. She wants my brother to get a house help that will do those things. Even though she does not work. Since her business went under do to her lack of saving mentallity, and starting another one for her according to my brother is a waste of money.

your brother need some dose of redpill

It seems he married her like this. Let him carry his cross.

crackhaus:
Your brother has found himself tethered to one of the worst types of women a man can ever be cursed with in life – she feels entitled to a good life, but is jobless and has no interest in working her ass off to acquire some of that life for herself.
On top of all this, she's also someone of poor character, completely lazy, and a spendthrift...

I can't help but wonder why your brother did not see traces of any of these things before settling down with her, I can't understand that... Is it that she has Rihanna looks combined with Beyonce's nyansh?

What a pity!

Now I won't be surprised if she's already cheating on him... and even if she isn't doing that yet, her type won't be too hard to seduce at all.
Either way, she's a lost cause because any woman that can disrespect her husband like this should ONLY be kept close if the man has a death wish.

All that talk about how your brother is seeking a means to lay complaints to her family is a complete waste of time in my opinion. The best way to send a strong message is to kick her out – let her go to her family herself and report him for throwing her out, they will request for an explanation from him themselves regarding what happened.
Even if they don't do this but choose to make a decision to take her side because of whatever tale she must have spun, nothing spoil... it's still good riddance and bye-bye to yeye wife and yeye family.

As for the kids, you can go stay with them to help out after his wife is gone, at least until the families can reach a settlement – whatever that will be.

Meanwhile, please tell your brother to disregard any advice telling him to open another business for his wife to get her busy, or to buy her any those things she's been nagging about.
Even if doing this will bring peace, it won't be a lasting peace because she will simply increase her demands as time goes on knowing how he'll always concede to her just to avoid issues.

A sensible man should never reward a woman's bad behaviour.

thanks so much, you have spoken like a man with much knowledge. For now. I'm staying out of their activities based on my brother's opinion. Is just the anger and frustration that made me open this thread.
Thanks a lot anyway

gentlesil:
My brother's wife is troublesome. My brother is a quiet type. When I was staying with them it's always one trouble or the other. I was thinking that it was because of me that is making her to be that aggressive on him so I relocated to my uncle's house.
The bone of contention is always
1.You don't buy clothes for me
2.You don't buy my body cream
3.You don't care if I make my hair or not etc
My brother is just an average income earner that stays in a rented apartment that he pays 170.000 per year. With 3 kids. He doesn't have a car
For me, I think he's trying his best to make his wife understand that this is not time to spend money anyhow because of the economy, to no avail
Last week I visited them and met my brother when he was asking an elderly man in the neigbourhood of the best way to formally lay complain to her family . Because according to him she is now acting more provocative that may lead to a fight. And he does not want to lay his hand on her so that she will not turn the narrative that is because he beats her that is why she was doing what she was doing to him.

I just wish I can advise him but I'm not capable, that is why I said I should seek mature opinion here on what you think he should do

Though my brother said that her brother are not supporting her, her mother seems to be silent when she heard about it sometime ago. That may be because she is too old to even think of cautioning her daughter who she is depending on.


My brother said is time to do something before she lead him to destruction. pls let's advise him.


Updated
Things like to wash bathroom, bath the children, and general house work, according to the wife is no longer her responsibility again. She wants my brother to get a house help that will do those things. Even though she does not work. Since her business went under do to her lack of saving mentallity, and starting another one for her according to my brother is a waste of money.

since she is not a good business woman let her look for a job. Your brother she make it his priority to get his wife a job or else this problem would still persist. However, since she is not working, your brother should be buying her stuff, making her hair and so on. She is his wife or you want other men to do it for her?

DimplesLikeWow:
It seems he married her like this. Let him carry his cross.

It may not be so o.

Women are very cunning and they know what they are doing. During courtship she will be acting all submissive but when she enters , her true colours show especially in a type of marriage where she knows it is difficult for the man to break.

Man needs to take a course in womanology, redpill and the likes in order to have peace.

crackhaus:
Your brother has found himself tethered to one of the worst types of women a man can ever be cursed with in life – she feels entitled to a good life, but is jobless and has no interest in working her ass off to acquire some of that life for herself.
On top of all this, she's also someone of poor character, completely lazy, and a spendthrift...

I can't help but wonder why your brother did not see traces of any of these things (and there's a lot) before settling down with her, this I cannot understand... Is it that she has Rihanna looks combined with Beyonce's nyansh?

What a pity!

Now I won't be surprised if she's already cheating on him... and even if she isn't doing that yet, her type won't be too hard to seduce at all.
Either way, she's a lost cause because any woman that can disrespect her husband like this should ONLY be kept close if the man has a death wish.

All that talk about how your brother is seeking a means to lay complaints to her family is a complete waste of time in my opinion. The best way to send a strong message is to kick her out – let her go to her family herself and report him for throwing her out, they will request for an explanation from him themselves regarding what happened.
Even if they don't do this but choose to make a decision to take her side because of whatever tale she must have spun, nothing spoil... it's still good riddance and bye-bye to yeye wife and yeye family.

As for the kids, you can go stay with them to help out after his wife is gone, at least until the families can reach a settlement – whatever that will be.

Meanwhile, please tell your brother to disregard any advice telling him to open another business for his wife to get her busy, or to buy her any those things she's been nagging about.
Even if doing this will bring peace, it won't be a lasting peace because she will simply increase her demands as time goes on knowing how he'll always concede to her just to avoid issues.

A sensible man should never reward a woman's bad behaviour.

you acting as if you know the wife, swear that you don't have a girlfriend or wife you cater for. Are you telling me if your babe's hair is unkempt you would ignore her?
From what Op said, the wife is not good in business but that doesn't mean if she was to a white collar job she would not do it

crackhaus:

A sensible man should never reward a woman's bad behaviour.

Crackhaus has gone and done it again.

uruba23:
This is normal when a man is in struggling mode don't bother trying to stop her just advice your brother to use it as a stepping stone .

Talk is cheap bro. Don't you know that such attitude from the wife would definitely demoralize the man?

Marriage is hard work where both parties give and take. Now that the Man isn't financially buoyant, she's expected to understand and encourage the Man in a loving manner.

When there's no understanding especially from the woman, the marriage suffers.

Normal stuffs, nothing new.

I'm sure the Op would do worse to her husband if there's money issues.

yomi007k:


It may not be so o.

Women are very cunning and they know what they are doing. During courtship she will be acting all submissive but when she enters , her true colours show especially in a type of marriage where she knows it is difficult for the man to break.

Man needs to take a course in womanology, redpill and the likes in order to have peace.

In other words, "it seems he married her like this". You've simply buttressed my point.

I don't agree with your angle that she was cunning or pretended prior to the marriage. Materialistic women or those with the mentality that it's a man's duty to provide money for them hardly hide this characteristic. While dating or courting, she must have asked him for money numerous times. He was probably giving her then and may have set the precedence for what's happening now; and she likely had the tendency to get angry when he didn't. The point is: surely, he must have seen some signs, but may have thought she would change.

donogaga:


Talk is cheap bro. Don't you know that such attitude from the wife would definitely demoralize the man?

Marriage is hard work where both parties give and take. Now that the Man isn't financially buoyant, she's expected to understand and encourage the Man in a loving manner.

When there's no understanding especially from the woman, the marriage suffers.

Let me put you in the woman's shoe her business is down might be or not be her fault anything can happen so no extra money to do hair, sent money to mama in the village, buy cream, look good,honey goes out and comes back didn't send how she looks,some women need cream anyway especially those with sensitive skin naturally she get frustrated and obviously the only person she can lash on was her sweet heart, you don't expect any encouragement from someone that need encouragement too.

Now let me put you in the man's you.He probably have a fix income, extented family to take care of including is own inmidate family ,he dread going home because a nagging woman is waiting to lash on him. Sometimes he is tempted and provoked but he remembers his in-law and calm down. The truth is he cannot come and kill himself, the best he can do is pray and work for multiple streams of income,or better still find a way to engage his wife in some other activities.
Finance would always be a big matter in marriage that is just reality. I love you I love you is sweet when there is money...

Wetin consain you with your brother marriage? Hennn? Gbeborun.amebo


Na man you be at all? I sure say Na your type go dey tiptoe put ear for door.you suppose dey tie wrapper and wear gele.oniranu

Why can't you focus on your own life?

Tell your brother to divorce her and marry another woman or stay single with his kids.

Someone up there said you should tell your brother to send her back to her father's house, oya na tell him, problem solved.

jesmond3945:
you acting as if you know the wife, swear that you don't have a girlfriend or wife you cater for. Are you telling me if your babe's hair is unkempt you would ignore her?
From what Op said, the wife is not good in business but that doesn't mean if she was to a white collar job she would not do it

Why would I do that when she has been well-behaved, not going about the house insulting me and throwing tantrums?

The OP's sister-in-law is not even bathing her own kids anymore or doing anything, and you're suggesting he should pamper her on top of all that so she'll stop frustrating him.
Na so!

If it's a job she needs, she should go out and look for it herself. She's the idle one with enough time on her hands, not her husband who's already running around trying to make ends meet the little way he can.

KevinDein:

Crackhaus has gone and done it again.

Yes o, that's the summary...

She's a woman under financial lack with conventional prohibition - her unresourcefulness/past failure in business notwithstanding. If she still has in possession the core quality - be it an abstract or concrete quality - that made your brother to marry her, he should extend altruistic actions towards her, his financial limitations notwithstanding. Magically, he'll see her mellow, adjust to the reality in place and submit to his desires. No woman is unmalleable, forget their gragra. LOL.

He has to accept the bitter truth that altruism isn't a woman's forte. Therefore, he has to stand in position of a vetter and water her conviction, provided that she has one and lives it in word and deed - this applies if he married her based on her abstract quality.

She's a woman under financial lack with conventional prohibition - her unresourcefulness/past failure in business notwithstanding. If she still has in possession the core quality - be it an abstract or concrete quality - that made your brother to marry her, he should extend altruistic actions towards her, his financial limitations notwithstanding. Magically, he'll see her mellow, adjust to the reality in place and submit to his desires. No woman is unmalleable, forget their gragra. LOL.

He has to accept the bitter truth that altruism isn't a woman's forte. Therefore, he has to stand in position of a vetter and water her conviction, provided that she has one and lives it in word and deed - this applies if he married her based on her abstract quality.

gentlesil:
My brother's wife is troublesome. My brother is a quiet type. When I was staying with them it's always one trouble or the other. I was thinking that it was because of me that is making her to be that aggressive on him so I relocated to my uncle's house.
The bone of contention is always
1.You don't buy clothes for me
2.You don't buy my body cream
3.You don't care if I make my hair or not etc
My brother is just an average income earner that stays in a rented apartment that he pays 170.000 per year. With 3 kids. He doesn't have a car
For me, I think he's trying his best to make his wife understand that this is not time to spend money anyhow because of the economy, to no avail
Last week I visited them and met my brother when he was asking an elderly man in the neigbourhood of the best way to formally lay complain to her family . Because according to him she is now acting more provocative that may lead to a fight. And he does not want to lay his hand on her so that she will not turn the narrative that is because he beats her that is why she was doing what she was doing to him.

I just wish I can advise him but I'm not capable, that is why I said I should seek mature opinion here on what you think he should do

Though my brother said that her brother are not supporting her, her mother seems to be silent when she heard about it sometime ago. That may be because she is too old to even think of cautioning her daughter who she is depending on.


My brother said is time to do something before she lead him to destruction. pls let's advise him.


Updated
Things like to wash bathroom, bath the children, and general house work, according to the wife is no longer her responsibility again. She wants my brother to get a house help that will do those things. Even though she does not work. Since her business went under do to her lack of saving mentallity, and starting another one for her according to my brother is a waste of money.

Women can bring out the worst in them when the needful are not being done

Let your brother take it easy and calmly with her as she needs his attention and care no matter how little

I hate women that stress and nag their husbands over things they clearly walked into with their eyes open.You knew his financial status and agreed to marry him like that, so let her give him the peace he deserves or simply pack her bags and go, Op I don't know the kind of sister you are, no lady can try this with any of my brothers, I will so panel beat her till she has some sense in her brain and I will be a constant pain and nightmare for her.Thats how some women indirectly send their husbands to an early grave.

If what you posted is the true position of things, your brother has been enabling his wife's irrational behaviour, am wondering why he is till dilly-dallying going with 2 or 3 relatives of yours to go complain to his in-laws, so there would be witnesses.

No human being under any form of relationship has a right to slide the other into a state of mind that could hasten their demise.

jesmond3945:
you acting as if you know the wife, swear that you don't have a girlfriend or wife you cater for. Are you telling me if your babe's hair is unkempt you would ignore her?
From what Op said, the wife is not good in business but that doesn't mean if she was to a white collar job she would not do it

..

Smh for you.

Kpele OP. No advice here just that your bro should act fast cos he would soon die of high BP