acesboy:
Lol.... Bhad guy

YourCoffin:
Madam was watering ground for the normal urgent 2k. Guy man saw through it and jakpa.

Kpele dear. As you dey avoid men's burden na so wise guys dey dey begin avoid women's burden

Abi you thnk all the advice they get here no dey enter their head

Lol.... Bhad guy

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

You can't beat a child and expect them not to cry. We learn from experience. Just few days ago, we saw how a guy was dumped by her gf who according to him sponsored her edu in school of nursing. These days, no man wants a liability. It's not about being stingy or poor, it's about what is obtainable in the present society.

Besides, why couldn't you tell him straight away that you are on fast and save yourself all these long talk and stress?? According to what you wrote, you have not met this man, every communication you guys had was just virtual.

My dear, our brother is simply being cautious because you can't tell me you've not eaten for a whole day without reasons and expect me not to be somewhat suspicious of you.

He actually came back, yes! So you can stop being unnecessarily stupid and know he is serious with you.

CalliDora1:



Helloooo.. what do you mean by did she ask? Ask for what exactly? All I want to know is why he stopped calling and chatting and not why he didn't offer to help or not. Please!

And Nairalnders are supposed to know why he "stopped calling and chatting"

You LIE. If you had really wanted to know then we should not be having these conversations in the first place.

MADAM, TELL US WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

CalliDora1:



The funny thing is I never asked him for anything all through the period we were "together" because he already made me understand he was a civil servant. So, it doesn't cross my mind to ask cos I do feel for him. evethough their salary was constant that period and mine was halted cos it's a private sector, It never crossed my mind to ask. Even when he promised to send me airtime, I didn't remind him and quickly subscribed just to keep up with our chats. So... I don't get it. Some men though.

Why do Nigerians ask others if they have eaten? It doesn't happen anywhere else in the world! The only reason would be to take the person out for a meal. How it is done as a courtesy beats me!

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

how will you feel when you see your close friend in need and you can't help, talkless of a guy. The guy probably felt very bad and shame to call me, his ego was bruised but he can't help it....

omooba969:


What's your definition of a man?

You can aswell contact the webster dictionary for the connotative and denotative meaning of the word "Man".

What point are you driving at? Entitlement mentality kee you there!!!

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

oil dey your head #wisdom#

Michdaf:
If you want to know why I stopped chatting and calling you, why didn't you tell me yesterday. why did you have to bring it here. I don't know what you wanted me to do then. I ask why haven't you eaten and you said you don't have much. And I was not that buoyant then. And I explained everything to you. Then you start giving me attitude. that period, I was invited to court and you know the reason. I was face with the court issue for six weeks. At first I was arrested and my phone was taken from me. All this period you didn't call. and the best thing you could do is to bring it up here. Am very disappointed

Take it easy bro
Are you the guy in question?

Michdaf:
If you want to know why I stopped chatting and calling you, why didn't you tell me yesterday. why did you have to bring it here. I don't know what you wanted me to do then. I ask why haven't you eaten and you said you don't have much. And I was not that buoyant then. And I explained everything to you. Then you start giving me attitude. that period, I was invited to court and you know the reason. I was face with the court issue for six weeks. At first I was arrested and my phone was taken from me. All this period you didn't call. and the best thing you could do is to bring it up here. Am very disappointed

Did I mention you? Besides I couldn't bring myself to ask you why you did what you did intensionally cos I don't want to be taken for a ride knowing you already have a mindset. So I decided to throw it open to the public to hear what could possibly make a man abscond for no reason and resurface again acting like he didn't know what he did.

You didn't need to come and defend yourself here, my dear. I was hoping to come over after garnering enough from the advice here and ask a few questions but you just jumped out to prove what? Oh.. you were arrested? But did you tell me? Nope. Rather you chose to come and say it here? I'm further disappointed.

My head is full.

CalliDora1:



The funny thing is I never asked him for anything all through the period we were "together" because he already made me understand he was a civil servant. So, it doesn't cross my mind to ask cos I do feel for him. evethough their salary was constant that period and mine was halted cos it's a private sector, It never crossed my mind to ask. Even when he promised to send me airtime, I didn't remind him and quickly subscribed just to keep up with our chats. So... I don't get it. Some men though.

You've started a topic just to bash men. Until you hear what your fellow girls do, you won't know who made men the way they are.

Michdaf:
If you want to know why I stopped chatting and calling you, why didn't you tell me yesterday. why did you have to bring it here. I don't know what you wanted me to do then. I ask why haven't you eaten and you said you don't have much. And I was not that buoyant then. And I explained everything to you. Then you start giving me attitude. that period, I was invited to court and you know the reason. I was face with the court issue for six weeks. At first I was arrested and my phone was taken from me. All this period you didn't call. and the best thing you could do is to bring it up here. Am very disappointed

Oga, I'd rather prefer you IGNORE. She said that you're mature so act as a matured person and look away. Don't get dragged here even though we don't know you.

nenyewrites:


Idiot

nenye please stay out of this, I know she is your friend but this is strictly between us, so please stay out of this. I still don’t understand why your friend would bring our issue before the whole world

u wont blame him. He might scared maybe u will end up requesting 4 money and not financially okay. Thats why hes been avoiding d conversation. Not that he does loves u

Everybody has one or two they're passing through. Nothing stops you from checking up on him when he wasn't checking up on you, or was it stated anywhere that guy must always initiate been caring. All these nairaland claimed adults behaving like children. So because he asked for three consecutive days if you've eaten, and you gave a no as response, did you ask if he ate too, some girls fail to understand making money respects no gender. That he never chatted you up or called for a while, did you bother ask if all was fine with him those period. All these kiss and tell people sef

Fake story to attract fresh magas to your profile. Something told me to check the account that it won't be older than 3 months, and I was right. The pretty profile picture also confirmed my suspicions. The guy in question by the account name michdaf, was created on the 18 of this. month. Also who is the enemyofprogress that replied you on page 2 ? It's like you are using this format on more than one guy abi? Fake story, fake accounts probably being controlled by same person

My conclusion; some mumu guys will ask for this gals number bcoz they assume she can fast, and not interested in a guy's money.
Also some mumu gals will easily give their number to michdaf, he is just a cool guy that was misunderstood

The guy has nothing tn offer as a friend, just a full time scrab. he should have wait for the question to pop up, the he react (i can help or i can't. nobody will force him) friends are beyond that

BreconHills:


Why do Nigerians ask others if they have eaten? It doesn't happen anywhere else in the world! The only reason would be to take the person out for a meal. How it is done as a courtesy beats me!

A girl I was trying to ask out then
I constantly ask her if she has eaten
You know what she said back to me ?
She said this guy you will like food O this one you're always asking me if have eaten.
Although she said it in a joking way but it i didn't absorb it in a joking way and ever since then I vow never to ask any girl if they have eaten or not
If you like eat if you like don't eat that's your own pro
That question is an old dating line used in 2010 down to 2015. That line is already outdated.

CalliDora1:



Did I mention you? Besides I couldn't bring myself to ask you why you did what you did intensionally cos I don't want to be taken for a ride knowing you already have a mindset. So I decided to throw it open to the public to hear what could possible a man abscond for no reason and resurface again acting like he didn't know what he did.

You didn't need to come and defend yourself here, my dear. I was hoping to come over after garnering enough from advices here and ask a few questions but you just jumped out to prove what? Oh.. you were arrested? But did you tell me? Nope. Rather you chose to come and say it here? I'm further disappointed.

My head is full.

Throw it open by bringing it here. what happened to your before hasn't taught a lesson. Sometimes I wonder if you are being paid to do this.
Ok, so after you have finished tarnishing my image, you will now come and do what. And you know am regular here. I was expecting more from you, but this is childish

Bamz:


I've been reading your comments and I feel ashamed for the guy in the question. In all of this, you see no fault in what you've done since everything is about you, not a problem. Just don't waste his time, and tell him off immediately.

A wise person is always willing to know how he or she would have done things differently.

She doesn't need to tell him off. If after all these the guy still thinks of staying with her then something must be seriously wrong. Infact, he will need to go see "his village people".

The 'clara' of a woman is so full of pride. She's so pained that the guy didn't ask for her account number but now she's forming 'testing'. Mtcheeww...

You could have just told him you were fasting and communicate naturally like a normal human. He blanked for four days, did you chat him up to know what's up with him or you're the only one that deserves care. You both blanked each other.

The guy does not have anything to offer? What do you have to offer? The guy has his faults we all do and its because we are humans and not commodities. How much more someone you met only whom you don't even know his story.

In your next fasting session. pray God provide all your financial needs, make your business flourish and also make keep you busy so you'll stop fasting and stop opening threads about men on nairaland.

frankson1:




Oga, I'd rather prefer you IGNORE. She said that you're mature so act as a matured person and look away. Don't get dragged here even though we don't know you.

My is just so annoying when people misunderstand you

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

Gbam! Well said. You said it all.

.....Seems like the matter din cast.
Girl is a leeche and guy man wasn't bouyant enough.
Guy,thanks for the clarification

HW don't want to fall into the urgent 2k trap nh

Michdaf:
You are right. then I was broke and I told her. then she started giving attitude and I was having some issues so I had to withdrew

Dafe can you just shut up! Who was giving you attitude? You stopped calling and got me putting two and two together which prompted me to test you by continually telling you Ive not eaten and now you turn to say I posed hungry?? You better Watch it.!

Did I ever ask you for anything for once? Say the truth...

I didn't want you here reason I didn't mention you. Just be a man and leave here now!!!

CalliDora1:



Helloooo.. what do you mean by did she ask? Ask for what exactly? All I want to know is why he stopped calling and chatting and not why he didn't offer to help or not. Please!

Friendship is two ways thing. When you noticed he wasn't chatting you up, did you take it by yourself to chat him up? Did you bother to find out if he could have been passing through?

Most ladies are guilty of this. They will never check up on guys if they don't check up on them.

My verdict: most ladies hardly check up on a guy except they have gotten intimate. But before the intimacy, it is only the guy that usually do the check up all the time which is bad.

Friendship is two dimensional. Have you taken time to check up on those on your WhatsApp list to find out what's going on in their lives?

Reach out to people from time to time if you discover that they have not been checking up on you. You might not know what they are passing through that period.

Reach out to someone and not always have the habit of waiting for someone to check up on you first.

Bodyodour:
why would a girl without much connection to the friend tell you her financial problem? Is it not to beg ? Some ladies no dey try cha cha!!

Lol. The way you people talk on this forum one would think you are some super people outside.


I know guys here who form big boys with one account and beg with their alternates.na dem dey shout broke girls this and that pass.lol. make I face my front.

ricson11:
The person is born again are you sure is not righteousness89 �

So, only righteousness89 is born again in the whole of this forum

CalliDora1:



Did I mention you? Besides I couldn't bring myself to ask you why you did what you did intensionally cos I don't want to be taken for a ride knowing you already have a mindset. So I decided to throw it open to the public to hear what could possibly make a man abscond for no reason and resurface again acting like he didn't know what he did.

You didn't need to come and defend yourself here, my dear. I was hoping to come over after garnering enough from the advice here and ask a few questions but you just jumped out to prove what? Oh.. you were arrested? But did you tell me? Nope. Rather you chose to come and say it here? I'm further disappointed.

My head is full.

....So you were lying against the innocent guy just because he wasn't bouyant at that particular point? Smh.

Pocohantas was right after all. You were watering the ground for urgent 2k.lol

CalliDora1:

Just let me be.
That's why I said it's typical if most nairaland guys to always assume someone wants to beg them for favor.

Na the same thing we dey talk...

If you did not want to ask for a favour, why you come dey tell am about your problem of not eating for three straight days without stating the reason?
Abi na motivational speech e go give you before to help your belle... What else did you expect him to think if not that you needed money... seriously?

The guy was even nice by just ghosting you.
If na me and I intend to really piss you off, I will suggest that you should try gathering small small change left inside your purse that will reach 300naira, so you can at least buy indomie and egg make you for see food chop.

Highest it's only vex you will vex, and maybe block me if e too pain you... still good riddance