Hi all,
i met this lovely guy in March and we hit it off right away, we started dating and truly i love him a lot and will love to be with him forever, i have tried studying his character and he is really okay and ready to settle down. he keeps on saying we must get married in December that there is no point waiting.I am young and he is about 10 yrs older than me, i am done with school and working presently that makes me okay to get married, but i am just a lil worried that this is early. I met his 2 brothers and friends and we see every day and he is yet to hurt my feelings since we started dating
We are not of the same tribe and my siblings have succeeded in convincing my mum to let us be,everyone that meets him love him. I see him as my husband already but i am just worried it might be a little too early to get married.
Please i need all the positive advice i can get

aysometin:

Please i need all the positive advice i can get

Dearie then you don't want the truth, in as much as there migth not be any negative responses to your problem, you have to open your mind and heart to whatever advice you get, whether good or bad and then weigh them up against each other

Well if you ask me, you have nothing to fear or worry about. Your case sounds like a catch, some girls' wildest dream but no matter what anybody says, its your whole (or almost) future we're talking about here. You got to be 100% or at least 98% sure of the big step you're about to take.

You can't go into marriage just because the whole of your family and nairaland says so, neither should you go into it until you're totally cool with the pace of things. If you think its too early, or that things are going too fast then tell him howyou feel. Tell him you need some time to agree with yourself that you're taking the right step in the right decision.

I'm sure he loves you enough to see reasons with you, what difference does it make anyway? you're together and happy  . . and what topps both of you being at the altar and you saying "I DO" with all your heart, body and soul, , , , magnificent!!

Take your time sweetheart, its not an "maybe", or "i think so" thingy . . its a "I couldnt be more sure" thing, its got to feel right in every sense of the word.

I'm happy for both of you, and i wish you all the good things of life!! Take care hun

Perhaps he's afraid that, as a young woman, you might soon change your mind and fall in love with a younger man.

Seun:

Perhaps he's afraid that, as a young woman, you might soon change your mind and fall in love with a younger man.

That could happen to a married lady too, that she's married doesnt stop her from being young - - - Yea i know "marriage" comes with its own share of commitment, , , , but some have gone astray!!


Its not a reason enough for her to go into it if she isn't totally comfortable with it, but i do agree that she could reassure him that she would love to be his wife but needs a Lil bit more time to adjust and get used to the idea and change!!

@poster

sounds to me like u aint ready or completely sure, VERY FEW PPL ON EARTH HAVE THE LUXURY OF 100% ASSURANCE/CERTAINTY THAT THEY ARE MARRYING THE PERSON MEANT FOR THEM.

but the rest of us need to be able to convinve ourselves beyond reasonable doubt, and it sounds to me like, u aint done that yet. it sounds like u feel pushed. Talk out ur fears with him, tell him u feel its a bit too soon, u'd like some more time, doesnt mean u've changed your mind about marrying him, u just need time to know him more and be at ease with the idea.

no be easy step, so dont feel pressured into doing something u WANT but at the WRONG time for u

Better grab him before you lose him to other girls. There are a thousand and 1 boyfriends all over but no husbands. Moreover, six months courtship is enough for one to make up her mind. As for the age difference, that shouldn't be an issue. Good luck.

cute-ass:

"I couldnt be more sure" thing, its got to feel right in every sense of the word.

Now i really love this advice,its supposed to be a case of i could not be more sure, looking at the whole thing now thats how i feel, maybe its because i used to listen to all those people that say wait to know a guy for about two years before you think of marriage thats why am a little fidgety, trust me it has nothing to do with the guys personality, looks like its more of my principles (remember all Pastor Bimbo Odukoya used to say)
Thank you so much dearie, have come to love and respect all your opinions on this forum.God bless you and i wish you all the good things of life as well.

Seun:

Perhaps he's afraid that, as a young woman, you might soon change your mind and fall in love with a younger man.

Seun i am laughing, i have found what younger men have not been able to give me(talking for myself), what will be my excuse for running off.

cute-ass:


Its not a reason enough for her to go into it if she isn't totally comfortable with it, but i do agree that she could reassure him that she would love to be his wife but needs a Lil bit more time to adjust and get used to the idea and change!!

My dear you got the point, getting used to the idea is another problem for me, can't believe i will be mrs someone yet, used to tell all myfriends i will be the last to get married but see life o looks like i will be first.

nossycheek:

Better grab him before you lose him to other girls. There are a thousand and 1 boyfriends all over but no husbands. Moreover, six months courtship is enough for one to make up her mind. As for the age difference, that shouldn't be an issue. Good luck.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
but wait a minute, thats scary. Age difference is not an issue

@ ayosomething

God bless you too dear Don't worry, take your time, you might just need a week, or 2 months, or 3 days to come to terms with it. Either way pray about it too, I'm sure you'll get the courage and will if he's the one for you.
If hee is, I'm sure he'll be waiting for you, it goes both ways . . if you're his, then after your mind is made up, it'll be the two of you walking down the isle.
Take care!!


@ luxoire
twin, why the hell are you hiding from me? You've been distant, hope evrything is ok?

Thanks girl
I feel a whole lot better now and coming to terms with what is ahead, i have realized i love him so much and will love to be with him. I will just give my self a little time to realize that i will be a Mrs soon.

You could want to study him more, pray about it. But really it shouldn’t matter so much cuz my parents dated for seven months before they got married and they’ll have their 24th year anniversary in Oct this year. But then personally I cant marry someone I have not date for over a year. Cuz iv been in a relationship for over 3 years now. I have learnt a lot of things I could never have learnt in a year. Iv learnt to accept it because I wanted too. Imagine if we were married I’d have been compelled to that is not having a choice. I really hate not having choices over certain vital issues. But then we are all different. Follow your heart. All the best.