IntersexSherry:
Finding a rich man is my priority now

It's obvious that the female parts of your DNA are much stronger than the male parts for you to already be behaving like a typical Nigerian girl.

You want a rich man to help reduce your misery, but I have two questions:

1. Do you get approached by men?
2. What genitals do you have? Male, female, or both?

IntersexSherry:
Love should start from the family. Was my family even together? All i saw was my mum keeping conflict with all her siblings and telling us not to communicate with any of them.
My mum and dad always fighting and we the kids rushing out to separate.
My dad cheating on my mum severally, doesn't even bring money for anything in the house. My mum always complain to us how she regrets marrying him . She was the bread winner in our family. She is strong and independent.
Wish they paid more attention to their kids especially me.
Then we go to school? All the bullying i faced from other kids there, i was strong too like my mum so i never let their bullying win over me.
Though you may ignore bullies but they can really damage someone's mental health.
My childhood was no fun, all i did was study just to pass grades.
There comes my elder brother who also bullies me at home too.
Hanging out with family and friends? No
Partying? No
Dating/having sex? No
I lived like a nun, was in so much isolation. This was when i learnt to start isolating myself.
Then i found out am intersex, another big problem in my life. I had to drop out of school due to the bullying i faced for being different.
My mum had to tell me to leave, she couldn't bear to keep on seeing me like this. At least my mum and younger bro were the best people that ever happened to me.
I left home long time ago, started surviving in this cruel world alone looking so androgynous. Everyone would stare at me wondering ''is that a girl or a boy"
Difficult for me finding a job or making good social relationship. Everyone was confused about my gender.
So then i had to stick to the female gender i identified with the most then most of the bullying and society stigmatization became less.
I still need to do lot of surgeries on myself but so far am still thriving.
It been hell so far and loneliness.

The disjointed background you're from, has messed with your head and self identity/esteem.
It is convenient to attach any label to console yourself.
You're still not sure who you really are?

IntersexSherry:
dont mind the idiot. They are the Reason why people like myself suffer. Because of their ignorance and hate

It obvious you are sick.

So it’s actually shocking and funny when people act like you commit heresy by saying African parents are toxic and/or abusive. This is not me pointing an accusing finger at your family (although if you feel attacked, check your family) and it is by no means a generalization. I think it’s interesting how people I’ve interacted with that have abusive parents never agree that their parents are abusive but are sometimes the same ones that say the minute they move out of their parents’ house, they’re done with their parents.

I believe and always say that the first step to progress is acceptance, you’ve got to accept your reality as it is, no painting and colouring. How do you explain parents cutting their children with broken plates because they broke a plate? Or how do you explain a parent constantly using whips and belt heads to flog their children? Or you think that’s too extreme? What about the parents whose teaching/correction/love language is cane? Or slaps? Are you raising goats?

And then beyond the physical abuse that abounds and is now the norm in our homes, let’s talk about the verbal abuse. When people recount what their parents tell them sometimes, I’m honestly in shock. The last one I heard, I had to say she wasn’t the man’s child, because I can’t imagine a parent say these horrible words to their children. But apparently, it is a thing! Like Sefi Atta said in Everything Good Will Come, by the time these kids are grown, they’d have beat out every creativity in the child and shouted out every initiative from the child.

Somehow though, we’ve grown to see these things as “normal” and even pride in them to the point of anticipating giving your child such dreadful childhood, and I think this is what I’m most concerned about. The argument is constantly that “we turned out fine because of this training”, nahh boo! Permit me to shock you, you didn’t! You turned out fine, in spite. In fact, how do you know you’re fine even? Because you’re wearing top and trouser? A lot of us have vary levels of psychological and emotional issues as a result of “this training”.


I feel like we need to get to the point where we realize and admit our parents are not perfect and so are bound to make mistakes. They probably did their best based on the amount of exposure and understanding they had but we can definitely do better. Being toxic is not and should not be a sign of “Africanness” – this is a narrative that needs to be changed tbh (one day we’d talk about the shitty narratives we were handed, one day but not today).

Aswanna

https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/20/most-african-parents-are-toxic/