Hi can anyone help me. Due to irreconcilable differences I have to file for a divorce. problem is I am Irish and I married my husband in Abuja he lives here also. How can I go about this I cannot even get a number for the marriage office in Abuja.

what a dilemma don't know mate

@ Topic,

When ur divorce is final. Hit me up. i'll marry u. You gotta come to the US tho

@Topic

Just file for abandonement first---without his knowledge of course!  Then file the divorce stuff against him.  Publish it in the Newspaper for about 90 days while his arse is in Abuja.  Trust Naija men do not read newspapers kpa kpa!  Then it is a done deal if the Mugu does not show face on the date of Judgement!  If he happens to be around during the judgement, make sure you buy him a ticket to head to Abuja ASAP so he will not be present!  Please forget Abuja and file in Ireland! Any kids? Because with kids, it becomes a little complicated!

You did not say anything about saving your marriage so I can only help you with what you asked.  I do not believe in interstate marriages not to talk of Bi-continental marriages.  If you live in Ireland and your so-called husband lives in Abuja, then that is not much of a marriage.  I hope you gat some money for legal fees?

@ MILITIA, She said her husband lives in Ireland not Abuja.

Leilah:

I married my husband in Abuja he lives here also. How can I go about this I cannot even get a number for the marriage office in Abuja.

Sorry oh!  I thought the bobo lived in Abuja! Same advice applies!  If you are not happy, please free yourselves from the mystery.  Just give him his "papers''  first, then he will be happy to let you go!  I am sure one Naija babe is waiting around Ireland there to inherit him! I am sure you do not have to spend money to go to Abuja to get a divorce. As long as you have you marriage certificate, you can divorce him in Ireland. Please leave before one of you kills the other for feeling trapped!

@militia please can you find him an ngozie becuase thats all that can put up with naija men and their nonsense.
he is a great father though he really is. But as I have said, I am not ngozie I am a good housewife for a white woman though I was even told that. But, as I have said I am not a silly ngozie that treats her man like a king and gets abuse in return. Coz that what they do to each other in his family. If their wives don't concieve with in six months they are 'fat bitches' justice for women please, in particular naija ladies as much as I admire their patience and respect for their husbands sometimes they let themselves be made mince meat of. BTW papers! that does not even cross mymind becuase I will not even get to the stage of signing them. I'll be the one gone by then

Leilah:

@militia please can you find him an ngozie becuase thats all that can put up with naija men and their nonsense.
he is a great father though he really is. But as I have said, I am not ngozie I am a good housewife for a white woman though I was even told that. But, as I have said I am not a silly ngozie that treats her man like a king and gets abuse in return. Coz that what they do to each other in his family. If their wives don't concieve with in six months they are 'fat bitches' justice for women please, in particular naija ladies as much as I admire their patience and respect for their husbands sometimes they let themselves be made mince meat of. BTW papers! that does not even cross mymind becuase I will not even get to the stage of signing them. I'll be the one gone by then

My dear take heart! We go thru the same things like you do! It is just that we have a different formula to solve our problems! Even if you are an "ngozie", you will still eat dust in a Nigerian man's hand. You just need to grow and assert yourself wisely! In as much as I encourge interracial "shagging", I do not encourage interratial marriages because of the high rate of failures related to "cultural differences"! So my dear reap the rewards of the Yahoo man being a good father and go find you a good husband!!!

Which patience and respect? We don reach police station sef! With serious documentation! Some don go jail sef go chop beans for about 24 hours! You wan try me? Please come to my house and see war at least every 6 months! It is not easy anywhere! We need refresher course on who is who in the house to maintain love and respect. Because we tend to forget who we are married to and take each other for granted! Patience and respect is a two way street oh! If you cannot get it there please check out as fast as you can! It does not get any better!

thanks militia, I will certainly take on board your opinion. I will be patient, the yahoo man aint that much better but at least I can understand em. I have been to nigeria, I am very familliar with the culture and way of life. I used to be very interested in the culture more so before but when I realised how women are treated its a big turn off. However I will give him the benefit of the doubt but will not sign any papers no matter how saintly he may be.

So, Leilah, you really mean you want to divorce our brother? I thought you was joking when you pointed it out in the thread Used and Abused. You told us the young man was quite good to you but you don't believe him and was contemplating to divorce him. Remember you told us you already have a kid by him, now what will be the fate of the kid? I wonder why you want to divorce such a nice man. You are telling us (his brothers) that being good to white ladies doesn't pay. No wonder Nigeria man used and abused the other white girl which is still on this site. Think twice, hence the young man has done nothing wrong to you.

Leilah,

Not all Nigerian men are pigs or behave like one. Some treat their women like queen and are very good fathers. I don't believe divorce will solve your problem because the next guy may not be better - whether he is Nigerian or not. It seems you guys have communication and expectation issues which can easily be resolved by going to a marriage counselor. You also have kid(s) involved and you can never dimension the impact of a breakup on the kids and their kids.

I will say give it a thought, sleep over it for a year, get advice from friends and forget the fact that he is Nigerian, that has very little to do with how he is behaving.

Abeg, this joke senior me. I pass me well well. I no even fit enter at all. Abeg, make i pipe down dey learn from elders.
Ndi be anyi mma mma nuo o!

Mrs Leilah

It's a shame that you are actually contemplating annulling your marriage. I cant tell you to sleep on it or nothing cos I really dont believe decisions as big as this are thought up over-night. I really wish you the best in your future decisions (be it marriage or divorce).
Ask for your husband, I wouldn't start throwing names at him cos I havent heard nothing bad the guy has done (you even said he was a good dad)., and he hasn't told us his side of the story. If divorce is the solution then so shall it be (soldier come, soldier go).

And the issue of you being an "NGOZIE" all I can say is sorry. The Ngozies here are not complaining. You have to be an Ngozie to marry an Okoro. So if you are not ready to become an Ngozie, or Nkechi, or even Akunna then its your loss, and some other Ngozie's gain.

Leilah,
pls hang in there,OK?
For the child's sake,
You can seek for advise,help from us ,

We love you,

Divorce is not,has never been an abiter to familly problems.Its the path of defeat.
When a lady marries,her title changes from MISS to MRS (meaning Members of Responsible Society) Pls dont ask me what the other means
With this new title comes higher responsibilty(s) like yours especially when the kids are involved.
My view?
Pill the Onion and get to the root cause. It may not be easy now but sure will later.

@ iyken
I can help you out MISS means Members Ignore to Struggle in Society

Ebo and iyke ,Una no serios!

Serious tasiana? The married ladies have settled down, and that's a bit make them more responsible, no to much waka waka, while the single ones are struggling to hook-up - their nyash dey jump from here to there struggling to be responsible (settle down)

What has being settled down got to do with being responsible?

Marriage is not a must.

If you don't want you can stay unmarried.

If it's too much you can back out of the marriage.

Simple!

divorce him and stop being a nusance about it. Many irish men treat their wives like dirt too so stop behaving as if nigerian men are animals, if ur men where better how did u end up with a nigerian in the first place? kapish!

davidylan:

divorce him and stop being a nusance about it. Many irish men treat their wives like dirt too so stop behaving as if nigerian men are animals, if your men where better how did u end up with a nigerian in the first place? kapish!

She ended up with him, because she fell in love with him.

As for the Nigerian men being animals-----I---------

I feel as though I am painting a terrible picture on this board I do NOT have it in for ALL naija men. My husband took me to abuja and the state where he is from, we travelled for hours and hours on an ABC bus it was so picturesque and beautiful I will never forget it. I love my husband dearly but I am somewhat of the opinion that a naija lady is better for him. I can cook all and I mean ALL of the native soups and dishes so what! its whats in the heart that matters and it seems to me its our ways of reasoning that varies. I want to be with him for the rest of my life but I am terrified that one day he will divorce me to marry someone from his own tribe which would be practical and understandable. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE TO SUGGEST THIS WILL HAPPEN. But, as I have said I am not an ngozie i have a fair idea how to be become one though. OK, so how do I become an ngozie? this may slim the chances of him leaving me LOL! - but on a serious note, do I really have to have the patience of a saint? any tips here? greatly appreciated and thank you all for your opinions.

PS everybody my husband never even mentioned the word ngozie, I just figured it out for myself! so just in case you thought he mentioned it he never did.

Please do not find problems for yourself.STOP IMAGINING PROBLEMS for yourself.your husband has not complaining about anything so y dont u wait until he does.just kip on showing your love for him and satisfy him in anyway possible.do not deny him in BED as that chases our men out first.kip praying for him and i know that all will be well.take kia .

why are u being so negative? @ poster

The man ha never treated u wrongly and u want to divorce him?

I mean are u alright?

michelin89:

why are u being so negative? @ poster

The man ha never treated u wrongly and u want to divorce him?

I mean are u alright?

why are you retreating you first condenmed the guy cos he is a nigerian, the truth of the whole thing is that the poster is not irish.

pls divorce this guy and let him go in peace. Has he EVER given u a hint that he wants to dump u for another women? last i checked the rate of divorce is higher in europe and the USA tha among africans so what are u crying about?

First you said u want to divorce because u dont want to be Ngozi now its because u're not sure he wont divorce u for another woman at the end of the day, are u really sure what u want? Or u're just fishing for just any excuse to run?
Didnt u date him? Were u not aware that his own woman would have been better for him?

Abeg carry ur load comot hia jare!

davidylan pls my brother leave the yeye girl to carry her cross, she is not Irish, may be she is looking for naija guy to marry.

@ poster

I can tell from you messages that you have a lot of doubts about your marraige. You might have differences of interests and opinion,yes, but its not the same as irreconcilable differences.

Are you sure your husband even knows half of what you are thinking?

Watsup dave?

if u stop being PARANOID and FEELING INADEQUATE or INFERIOR ur marriage will last a lifetime. if ur felt he needed an NGOZIE as a wife, he'd have gone ahead to marry her as a first wife and probably u as a second wife. i'll suggest u speak to ur husband about areas he thinks he wants u to improve on and see how that goes.

Divorce him the same way you married him.
abi we dey there when u marry him?

I do not know why you have to divorce in Nigeria.
Find out if its not possible in Irland