RisenPhoenix1:
Too simplistic and very untrue. Many Nigerian men go abroad on study or professional work visas, work hard without marrying white women for papers, and come back home to marry because they realise that akata girls have little value marriage-wise. Some genuinely want to marry akata girls when they start dating them, but their eyes quickly open; it's not like they deliberately go around breaking hearts. About the only thing you're right on is the dog-eat-dog mentality of Nigerian girls once they get their papers abroad and star :Dt to understand the powers that Western governments mistakenly give them. They become something else.

But marrying akata girls is not the solution. Like their white counterparts, they are wayward and divorce prone; ending up with all the man's wealth at the end of the day. No. The solution is to marry home based Nigerian girls, but never to relocate your family abroad until your children are at least at college level. Personally, I cannot let my kids out of Nigeria except on the occasional holidays; until they get to post grad at the minimum. For me personally, relocating anywhere is a no no. Nigeria is good enough for me. I hate stress.

so wen u don't relocate with ur family that means u will just be seeing ur homebased wife just at Christmas and easter

[

In summary,

When I hear stories of bitter divorces and men killing their spouse whom they brought from Nigeria I can't help but think this could've been avoided if they focused on settling with a so called "akata". Yes, she may not feign fake 'submission' like home-based Nigerian chicks, but what makes her less likely to 'betray' or mess you up is the absence of entitlement mentality.
...someone coming directly from Nigeria typically has a dog eat dog mentality caused by an oppressive system of lack. Whereas an abroad based chick already learns not to depend on a man from as early as 16 - 17 years of age.. most already have part time jobs as students and know the value of working for their money.. they won't take crap but at least what you see is what you get.. abroad based girls (akatas) are not angels but are far better than the pretenders back home y'all believe are "wife materials".. but people generally hold on to an illusion over what is real.
[/quote]


You are very right.

bigpicture001:


You write with a lot of emotion not sense....so u believe someone will pick a wife only because dey want to be collecting all her earnings... If ur pained by not being chosen.. Say so

Lol you have hit the nail

ziondaughter247:


Is this how much you hate yourself, your skin colour and your race?? This reeks of low self esteem to me

OK then keep them in Nigeria, allow them to mingle with cultists, SARS, and Boko Haram

nedekid:

Nna, see shape

So you too have swallowed the redpill since you can interpret the words of typical Nigerian girls

lefulefu:
so wen u don't relocate with ur family that means u will just be seeing ur homebased wife just at Christmas and easter

No. You can still invite them over during the school holidays etc; but not to stay permanently. Your wife; being a woman; would want to tell her friends back home that she went to 'rock' as well; though to be honest, the UK is highly overrated as a holiday spot. There's practically nothing interesting to do there; except maybe if you enjoy posing on London's street corners, taking selfies to make your friends back home green with envy.

banmee:


Ordinarily i would be scared too. I fear Nigerians in general. Doesn't matter if they are male or female. That being said, there is only one Nigerian i thank the gods i met and that is my wife. She is the most amazing person i have ever met and probably the most beautiful woman in the world. And she was born Nigerian. That is a miracle in itself. My advice to you is to know the person you are going to marry as best you can. I made sure i lived with my wife for 24 months before we got married. I don't care who you are, you cannot pretend for that long. Especially with someone like me. I will stress the phuck outta you till your break. And she passed with flying colors. I don't regret anything. And this was 20 years ago. How time flies.

Another lucky man again who married a Nigerian woman and his at peace, Oga thank God o

Hassanmaye:

My bro marry a white woman atleats your children will thank you later, since they will have dual citizenship

They can have dual citizenship by other means; such as your parents having settled status (in the UK); or in some other countries; by birth.

RisenPhoenix1:


No. You can still invite them over during the school holidays etc; but not to stay permanently. Your wife; being a woman; would want to tell her friends back home that she went to 'rock' as well; though to be honest, the UK is highly overrated as a holiday spot. There's practically nothing interesting to do there; except maybe if you enjoy posing on London's street corners, taking selfies to make your friends back home green with envy.

of course uk is not a holiday resort..ppl go there to work or school not to flex.if u want to flex there is Dubai or italy or d carribean.but the idea of u living and working in the uk while ur wife is living in nigeria there risks to it.it will lead her to d temptation of cheating..except maybe u don't mind though.there lots of ladies with husband's parmanently based overseas with lovers in nigeria and most times I can blame them cos d idea of only seeing ur husband only at Christmas and easter won't be a fun marriage to her.

banmee:


Ordinarily i would be scared too. I fear Nigerians in general. Doesn't matter if they are male or female. That being said, there is only one Nigerian i thank the gods i met and that is my wife. She is the most amazing person i have ever met and probably the most beautiful woman in the world. And she was born Nigerian. That is a miracle in itself. My advice to you is to know the person you are going to marry as best you can. I made sure i lived with my wife for 24 months before we got married. I don't care who you are, you cannot pretend for that long. Especially with someone like me. I will stress the phuck outta you till your break. And she passed with flying colors. I don't regret anything. And this was 20 years ago. How time flies.

there some overseas based guys who tell a family friend or their parents to look for a wife in the village for them or from a so called good family.they get married to a complete stranger and they expect problem not to occur.

Thanks so much for this ,I must tell you the truth nothing scares me like marrying a lady in Nigeria and we get over there and she starts showing some silly character.

sweetmelanin:
Every now and again, I hear new stories about some men getting "betrayed" by a Nigerian spouse whom they've brought abroad.. however, I can't help but notice that they are often the cause of their own misfortune. As harsh as it sounds, some men have had to learn the hard way that ignorance and hero-complex will cost a man far more than he can ever bargain for..

Category 1: Those with a warped mindset of the " 'cultureless' akata"

My experience:
Let's go back to my uni days some years back.. the dating scene was wild, brutal and exciting.. back then, the disparity was huge between the "freshiees" and UK grown blacks (unlike today) .. but yet, I was opportuned to mix and mingle with so many young Nigerian guys who were in the UK as international students at the time.. some also young working professionals ( of which are still life-long friends of mine up till today)...

..whilst on the dating scene, I noticed that a lot of Nigerian guys seemed to have a mentality that "akata" girls were "too exposed" compared to Nigerian girls back home, so they played games with them, often ditching these girls to marry home-based chicks.. I remember having such a silly and childish dream of relocating to Nigeria back then . Hahha.. and thought I would end up with a "freshiie" who would 'take me back to the motherland'.. haha. though I ended up with someone with a migration story just like mine; we both moved to the UK as kids in the early 2000s.. and my husband is a male 'akata' to core ..with no intention whatsoever of moving back.

Truth be told, a lot of guys who had temporary flings with "akata" girls ended up moving back to Nigeria, and are still regretting their decision till today.. Many returned to find their girlfriends had moved on and married older men. Others attempted to bring their girlfriends here to find out they've been used as a mere stepping stone to "greener pastures".


Category 2: Those who used and dumped white women for papers and then brought their "ungrateful Nigerian wives" abroad.

Men who are desperate for papers often opt for the easy way out: marrying an older white woman (and in some cases a poor unsuspecting black woman from another African country who has papers) ... they do this with the mindset that they would bring their "real wife" from Nigeria.
Now when their 'wife' divorces them.. these men will scream betrayal, forgetting the trail of heartbreaks they've left behind.. Now how do such men think they will use a foreign woman, break her heart, and yet live happily ever after with an imported bride?? how??

In summary,

When I hear stories of bitter divorces and men killing their spouse whom they brought from Nigeria I can't help but think this could've been avoided if they focused on settling with a so called "akata". Yes, she may not feign fake 'submission' like home-based Nigerian chicks, but what makes her less likely to 'betray' or mess you up is the absence of entitlement mentality.
...someone coming directly from Nigeria typically has a dog eat dog mentality caused by an oppressive system of lack. Whereas an abroad based chick already learns not to depend on a man from as early as 16 - 17 years of age.. most already have part time jobs as students and know the value of working for their money.. they won't take crap but at least what you see is what you get.. abroad based girls (akatas) are not angels but are far better than the pretenders back home y'all believe are "wife materials".. but people generally hold on to an illusion over what is real.

[quote author=Chimaokigwe post=97865197]

Na God go punish this useless me. See as I attract curses and eternal disgrace to my family. My entire family dey cry for 1 loaf of bread. Amen

Paulcyril19:


No dey misyarn they just analised the issue for you all you have to do now is make your own conclusions with what she's stated.

Why the tears

[quote author=Trayceey post=97881820][/quote]

Come and collect bread for your mother. Stupid MBA fool.

lefulefu:
of course uk is not a holiday resort..ppl go there to work or school not to flex.if u want to flex there is Dubai or italy or d carribean.but the idea of u living and working in the uk while ur wife is living in nigeria there risks to it.it will lead her to d temptation of cheating..except maybe u don't mind though.there lots of ladies with husband's parmanently based overseas with lovers in nigeria and most times I can blame them cos d idea of only seeing ur husband only at Christmas and easter won't be a fun marriage to her.

You can schedule your time to spare much more than Christmas and Easter; if you are dedicated to seeing your family. Its just that most people don't want to.

And if you think that women cheat only for sex, you're mistaken. Women cheat when they start to lose respect for their husbands or when they find a more attractive mate. In that case, they'll cheat even if you are locked up together, waist to waist in the same room 24/7. Temptation is not a prerequisite. A woman whose hypergamous instinct is already satisfied will heap insults on the head of any toaster who dares to come near.

RisenPhoenix1:
Too simplistic and very untrue. Many Nigerian men go abroad on study or professional work visas, work hard without marrying white women for papers, and come back home to marry because they realise that akata girls have little value marriage-wise. Some genuinely want to marry akata girls when they start dating them, but their eyes quickly open; it's not like they deliberately go around breaking hearts. About the only thing you're right on is the dog-eat-dog mentality of Nigerian girls once they get their papers abroad and start to understand the powers that Western governments mistakenly give them. They become something else.

But marrying akata girls is not the solution. Like their white counterparts, they are wayward and divorce prone; ending up with all the man's wealth at the end of the day. No. The solution is to marry home based Nigerian girls, but never to relocate your family abroad until your children are at least at college level. Personally, I cannot let my kids out of Nigeria except on the occasional holidays; until they get to post grad at the minimum. For me personally, relocating anywhere is a no no. Nigeria is good enough for me. I hate stress.

This shows you don't trust your wife to move her abroad.

RisenPhoenix1:


You can schedule your time to spare much more than Christmas and Easter; if you are dedicated to seeing your family. Its just that most people don't want to.

And if you think that women cheat only for sex, you're mistaken. Women cheat when they start to lose respect for their husbands or when they find a more attractive mate. In that case, they'll cheat even if you are locked up together, waist to waist in the same room 24/7. Temptation is not a prerequisite. A woman whose hypergamous instinct is already satisfied will heap insults on the head of any toaster who dares to come near.

u have a point though but if ur stay in europe is going to permanent and u insist she just remains in nigeria permanently there will be a time she will experience frustration and resentment and thats where her friends will come in.Forget the hefty allowance u might be giving her monthly and weekly cos sometimes money cant buy happiness.Her friends will urge her to have a boyfriend and sooner or later she will give in..except u are overseas for some temporary time be it study or contract or u just have to bring her over.Marriage is living together ooo not isolation.When i was benin some of these guys who just remain overseas their wives had boyfriends keeping them company.That one no be marriage biko.ur child sef will even be more familiar to your wife"s boyfriend than to u cos ur wife"s boyfriend is always around to keep her company while the husband who is overseas comes once in a blue moon.Its better your wife and kids join u over where u living except maybe u staying there temporary or u u married with another wife and kids where u living

okwadatigbogal:




See this one! 'I will stress the phuck outta you till you break'. So you think you're the prize? Typical Nigerian man narcissist. I really pity the poor woman that ended up with you!

Obviously you can't read and comprehend at the same time. You need to learn how to walk and chew gum at the same time. What does a test do? Does it not stress you? And for your info, she is the luckiest woman alive.

[quote author=HisMajesty1 post=97877035]It's not easy anywhere. If marrying back home in Nigeria will guarantee a peaceful life for you and your spouse, why not? I lost interest in aspiring to travel abroad a while ago... Nigeria isn't such a bad place with an above average income and a small, peaceful family... If God bless you well you can take your family for vacation abroad and come back home jejely.[/quote

Boss your comment made my day.......I lost interest too,there is money in Nigeria!

MasterRahl:
First, I'm not married. I'm at the learning stage and I'm seeing what I consider loopholes. You hear stuffs like We're too familiar and too close. He/she is just good as a friend. And I'm like so there's a friend material as well as a husband material? Shouldn't marriage be between two people who are close to each other? And even if marriage should be between two strangers, common sense shows that after months of living together, the two strangers will become close. What happens after that? They begin searching for another stranger to start all over with? The whole poo is confusing.

Yeah, but it's not as simple as that. Most people set out to marry people they love and are comfortable with but other aspects of their lives show they are not compatible. Things from family, life choices, changed character etc can destroy a marriage even though they were in love.

generationz:

Yeah, but it's not as simple as that. Most people set out to marry people they love and are comfortable with but other aspects of their lives show they are not compatible. Things from family, life choices, changed character etc can destroy a marriage even though they were in love.

Whatever the case, I only hope that the many marital problems that exist should end. Many have died or lost huge resources due to this.

MasterRahl:
Whatever the case, I only hope that the many marital problems that exist should end. Many have died or lost huge resources due to this.

Awww, yes, we all wish all the pain and suffering in the world ends but for now we just have to be careful for ourselves.

lefulefu:
u have a point though but if ur stay in europe is going to permanent and u insist she just remains in nigeria permanently there will be a time she will experience frustration and resentment and thats where her friends will come in.Forget the hefty allowance u might be giving her monthly and weekly cos sometimes money cant buy happiness.Her friends will urge her to have a boyfriend and sooner or later she will give in..except u are overseas for some temporary time be it study or contract or u just have to bring her over.Marriage is living together ooo not isolation.When i was benin some of these guys who just remain overseas their wives had boyfriends keeping them company.That one no be marriage biko.ur child sef will even be more familiar to your wife"s boyfriend than to u cos ur wife"s boyfriend is always around to keep her company while the husband who is overseas comes once in a blue moon.Its better your wife and kids join u over where u living except maybe u staying there temporary or u u married with another wife and kids where u living

Permanent stay? Perish the thought. I never advocate for anyone to seek permanent residency outside the country. What are they looking for? The most you'll need is seed funds for your next investment. Why would I advice others to do what I personally won't? Nigeria is the real land of opportunity, believe it or not.

Leshurr:


This shows you don't trust your wife to move her abroad.

Trust? It's not a question of trust. It's a question of safety. In any case, the question is meaningless now that I've relocated back home; and I'm in my motherland to stay, through Coro, poor economy, banditry and all. Qué Sera Sera.

angelfallz:
All These Na story.

If a man marries a good wife take her to mount Everest, take her to the centre of the earth, her character and personality wouldn't change.

Your piece is just advocating for men to marry "akata" girls instead of home based girls. While forgetting that everyone is different.
Or do you want to say that there no bad experiences from men that married "akata" girls?

What you should be advocating for is that men should shine their eyes and marry women with the right character and attitude.

You have nailed it. These attacks have become popular these days and they are largely being sponsored by Nigerian ladies, both online and offline, who feel men leave them abroad in the cold and go back home to marry.

The issue here is character! You can meet a good/bad person abroad and the same goes for back home. I have seen guys that met their wives online and went home to marry and are now living happily abroad.

Be it home or abroad, as you rightly-said, shine your eyes well before settling with anyone.

A bad person is a bad person anywhere - abroad, heaven or hell, the person will always manifest his/her bad traits.

somegirl1:

A lot of Nigerian men import wives from Nigeria for the wrong reasons.
They pick home-based women over Nigerian women already abroad, foreign black and white women with the mindset that they're easier to manipulate, subdue and control.
Truth is, the only difference between home-based women and Nigerian women abroad is exposure and availability of options, it's only a matter of time before the home-based lady adjusts to her environment.
Rather than bring a poor girl from Nigeria abroad to dictate to her what she's to study and expect her salary as recompense for putting her through school, how about these men invest in themselves, study nursing, medicine etc and make the money themselves.
I would never hand over my earnings to anyone if I had a choice, no one will wholeheartedly.
The moral lesson from these horror stories is for Nigerian men to stop attempting to use home-based women as investments and to stop being delusional about these women remaining subdued in a liberal society.

By the way, Nigerian women abroad also fall prey to home-based men who mistreat them once they leave Nigeria. It's not just the men that have sorrowful tales to tell.

Hahaha well, that's for some silly men who want to use women as their investment. I would rather have a happy home than all the money in this world...and I don't even see any money in Nursing to be honest. There are a million and one professions with less stress and demands that you can make more money than Nursing and still have time for yourself and family.

For someone like me (and most rational guys), I won't even marry any girl who desperately wants to study this "nursing" of a thing unless by sheer luck or fate, I met her a nurse and/or that was her God-ordained profession and not all these people rushing in for the money not knowing the huge stress and work hours involved.

Goodluck to men importing wives to send them to study Nursing as cash cows. Most of them don't live to tell the tales.

Alexaonfleek:
This abroad sef nor dey hungry me again

Hahaha people back home think living abroad is the highest achievement in this world.

no mind them if they get
there them go turn feminist for ur head,dome even misbehave when them never see airport,how much more when they realise women enjoy upper hand than women

Leebeedo:


It's wrong to make a generalization based on just one or few cases you witnessed. I brought my girl over to the USA and everything has been smooth. I was scared though, but marriage no be by being smart, just pray you don't meet the wrong one cos you can meet them when you're based in Nigerian as well.

Lovely. There's no manual for it. It all boils down to the persons involved irrespective of where they are based - character, respect, conscience and all. May God continue bless your girl and home.

no mind them if they get
there them go turn feminist for ur head,dome even misbehave when them never see airport,how much more when they realise women enjoy upper hand than men

stonecoldcafe:
Anywhere you find good woman, marry and move on with your family life. Note the word - good woman

I had to emphasize it again lol