Evening guys, trust we are all good?
Please don't mind any of my typo tonight as this is an urgent issue.

So one of the guys that we worked together in a company I started with before doing my own thing seek my help as he plans to relocate to Lagos, doesn't want to use the apartment given to him by the company because it is low to his taste.
A brief history, I am a married Man with my family living in a different state,so I usually make use of 1bedroom apartment in Lagos and my family do come here often with my wife stuffs loaded in the room wardrobe.
My wife was totally against me harbouring someone to live in her matrimonial home and sincerely my spirit didn't give a definite answer as to if I wanted the dude to stay with me.

I reluctantly accepted to allow him in cause I don't want to feel bad about helping someone and the fact that most times I don't spend up to 6months a year in Lagos.

My issues.... This guy came in last week Monday and to my greatest surprise his fiancee came to visit on Tuesday and jokingly like she was kinda late to go home and has been staying in my apartment with his Man since Tuesday till date.
It irritates me and I don't feel comfortable fending for two adults aside my other responsibilities and the worst is this guy will walk up to my fridge, finish drink, finish fuel, take 2fish at once of my pot just for himself.

I travelled and returning today I still find his girlfriend stuffs in my matrimonial room....
My spirit still tells me this dude won't bring any good but I still feel somehow throwing him out.

I plan to be off town for around a month and I don't feel comfortable leaving my apartment to him..

How do I tell him off without being offensive?
I really can't continue with them both.. Thanks

You caused it... Politely tell him to give you space and that you're no longer comfortable with him being around.

Give him a few days to gather his things and get out. Stop making food available in the house, let your woman prepare for both you and her or just keep buying food outside till he goes.

Next time, you will respect the sanctity of your matrimonial home.

Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, trust we are all good?
Please don't mind any of my typo tonight as this is an urgent issue.

So one of the guys that we worked together in a company I started with before doing my own thing seek my help as he plans to relocate to Lagos, doesn't want to use the apartment given to him by the company because it is low to his taste.
A brief history, I am a married Man with my family living in a different state,so I usually make use of 1bedroom apartment in Lagos and my family do come here often with my wife stuffs loaded in the room wardrobe.
My wife was totally against me harbouring someone to live in her matrimonial home and sincerely my spirit didn't give a definite answer as to if I wanted the dude to stay with me.

I reluctantly accepted to allow him in cause I don't want to feel bad about helping someone and the fact that most times I don't spend up to 6months a year in Lagos.

My issues.... This guy came in last week Monday and to my greatest surprise his fiancee came to visit on Tuesday and jokingly like she was kinda late to go home and has been staying in my apartment with his Man since Tuesday till date.
It irritates me and I don't feel comfortable fending for two adults aside my other responsibilities and the worst is this guy will walk up to my fridge, finish drink, finish fuel, take 2fish at once of my pot just for himself.

I travelled and returning today I still find his girlfriend stuffs in my matrimonial room....
My spirit still tells me this dude won't bring any good but I still feel somehow throwing him out.

I plan to be off town for around a month and I don't feel comfortable leaving my apartment to him..

How do I tell him off without being offensive?
I really can't continue with them both.. Thanks

Ya story just no add up. A company provided accommodation is not to his taste but his taste no pass squatting with a married man in one bedroom flat?

In life you should learn to say NO, it helps with peace of mind.

BabbanBura:



Ya story just no add up. A company provided accommodation is not to his taste but his taste no pass squatting with a married man in one bedroom flat?

The company provides him with a room though the company is more like a firm /trying to balance one.
The Man also promise to finance his new apartment if he decides to work for him.

Part of the reasons I don't feel comfortable in my heart to accommodate him is his refusal of that offer .
So if he doesn't know anyone in Lag would he reject the offer and I felt he has an ulterior motive for coming to my place.
All said and done I guess since he knew my families are usually not staying with me in Lag, he saw it as an opportunity.
But please I just need some help on how to make him leave peacefully without any quarrel

xProfx:
You caused it... Politely tell him to give you space and that you're no longer comfortable with him being around.

Give him a few days to gather his things and get out. Stop making food available in the house, let your woman prepare for both you and her or just keep buying food outside till he goes.

Next time, you will respect the sanctity of your matrimonial home.

Thanks alot, the reason is that I operate two houses in different states and my family doesn't stay with me on a norms cause she works somewhere else.
But staying with me or far doesn't mean I shouldn't still respect the sanctity of my matrimonial room

yomi007k:
In life you should learn to say NO, it helps with peace of mind.

It sure does.... I am still trying to destroy this emotional part of me that people tend to prey on

Opeyemiebun:


The company provides him with a room though the company is more like a firm /trying to balance one.
The Man also promise to finance his new apartment if he decides to work for him.

Part of the reasons I don't feel comfortable in my heart to accommodate him is his refusal of that offer .
So if he doesn't know anyone in Lag would he reject the offer and I felt he has an ulterior motive for coming to my place.
All said and done I guess since he knew my families are usually not staying with me in Lag, he saw it as an opportunity.
But please I just need some help on how to make him leave peacefully without any quarrel

Tell him to arrange to move out, your wife is coming over for sometime. True true invite her to come and reclaim her home

BabbanBura:


Tell him to arrange to move out, your wife is coming over for sometime. True true invite her to come and reclaim her home

That's a good suggestion but it will cost me a whole some....
Imagine they just walked in at this time, they like late night movement .

Na small challenge na bros abi you no sabi blow lie?

You don't need to bring your wife over as an excuse to send the dude packing. Make i go be you example...

Tell him "bros how far? I want to talk to you. Something came up yesterday night and it's an emergency.. "

"Its family issues and I don't want to discuss it with you. but for now you gats clear from here for a few months oh. In fact as I'm talking with you, we just finished a family meeting at home and my people will be here in 2 days time. Sorry for the short notice."

Remember, You gats keep sad face with low tone like say your wife born triplet

If you act the part well na him go even dey ask you "hope all is well?"

Still spoil your face reply am, "it's an extreme emergency. I was just called on phone. Like I said i don't want to go into the details but sha dey pack your things because I go like make you dey clear by tomorrow or next if possible"

"No vex. this is a serious emergency and I'll be needing you to make room for them."

If he probes more tell him it's a bit spiritual... that it's a traditional thing but no explain yourself.

Being assertive is not being wicked, learn to say NO to what a YES will mess things up.

That u r married and still here asking stupid questions is the part that is vexing me.
Even if u r owing the guy, open mouth tell d dude to get the fvck outta your apartment.

People like u no dey hear word.
You no listen to ur wife, na us u go listen to?

Tell him your wife is coming over and they need to leave before her arrival. Invite your wife over by that date.

Send him away. it is wrong that he has bad manners and is not made known to him by the woman in his life but instead she supports it.

These are not people that you should keep as friends. They are opportunists and no matter the scope you use, they would try to make you feel bad.

Do not care that they feel bad. They ought to feel bad and you ought to avoid them in future.

when I was reading even before I got to the last sentence..... what I had in mind is to..... infact, for u to be a married man u will surely be matured...
use the level of ur maturity to send him packing biko

Thanks guys, in fact problem no dey finish o.
I wonder how insensitive people could be... So the fiancee has even been cooking my food to take to his Man and few others on site�.

How do people end up with such bad manners?
It is a must that I let them leave and I will pick the best method in few days.
Happy Sunday y'all

Opeyemiebun:
...
My spirit still tells me this dude won't bring any good but I still feel somehow throwing him out.

I plan to be off town for around a month and I don't feel comfortable leaving my apartment to him..

How do I tell him off without being offensive?
I really can't continue with them both.. Thanks

Simple. Tell him with wisdom that your wife and /or family will be coming to visit n spend sometime like they usually do from time to time. You may even choose to actually bring your wife down to the place, if the houseguest proves stubborn.

Of course, you all can't lodge together in a one bedroom. One set will have to move out. And that will be this man and his girlfriend. Imagine the audacity. He is offered free accommodation, he then moves in his girlfriend too. Some people are just ungrateful or is it foolish.

Just imagine!!!! Op don't allow kindness to ruin you o...


The guy doesn't know what courtesy means.... Tell him straight to his face that you don't like what his doing, and if he refuses to adjust, send him and his Akata parking..

Nonsense and ingredients.

call your wife and explain what's up she obviously knew from the start it would come to this .....

whatever she says just do

or Better still let her come and treat your leeches fvck up