I once read this book, where each time this man sleeps, he wakes up in another reality, and vice versa. So much so, that it became a chore for people on both sides of the divide, that on many occasions while he slept in the face of looming danger on a side, while enjoying life on the side, his associates on the danger side would labour to bring him back awake to join them to face the hurdle which might even be life threatening on their side. Unfortunately, no matter how much I labour mentally, to remember the title of that book, it doesn't come to me, and I feel saddened by that because I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and would like to have another go at it, then gift it to another person to experience what I had with that book.


Now, the reason why I raised the issue of that book, is because it is totally what I can relate with, as if I must've experienced such at some point in my life, or maybe still, also the possibility of someone seeing this, and having read the same book, and obliging me the title will be something that I'll very much appreciate, except only if it might have been a book I read in my other existence(s). Yea, it would appear that I have another life, in a parallel universe, at some point parallel universes for that matter, seeing as I've seen myself die severally in dreams, and each time I died some particular appearance that I was once privy to, in visions, dreams and deja vus also seemed to decline, and/or stop outrightly. Many of such deaths I dreamt about while younger, and as the frequency reduced over the years, the vastness of locations I could dream about began to shrink as well as becoming familiar with my real life environment and I reckon, so did the number of parallel universes or existences where I continue to operate, also decline.


In recent times, and I mean close to a decade now, since I stopped any form of official schooling (the sort you get a degree for) after I earned my Masters, I have been having dreams about school. The first was when I rekindled a relationship with an old flame from school. In fact, that dream had her in it, and could be said to be a figment of my imaginations, but not subsequently till we broke it off, but it kinda shed light on an outcome that wasn't palatable which I kept close to my heart till we eventually extinguished it. That end was better than what the dream foretold, and maybe it would've been fulfilled had we continued with our liason. In deed, the reason I'm writing this now is because I've just come off another school dream, the latest in the line of many that have plagued and irked me these past few years. Dreams so simple, yet very complex to decipher, considering that in my present state and status in life, I've well passed the kind of situations and circumstances that I endure in those dreams.


Here's a sneak preview into the characteristics of these school dreams. The primary school ones are actually happier times when I dream them, and that's quite unusual because except for the last two years, where I even became senior prefect in my last year, with Hauwa Umaru as girlfriend, the former four, had sprinkles of sadness, as I endured bullying because of my small frame, but I did well academically, bested only by Ifeyinwa Ulasi. None of my devices proved strong enough to help me overtake her, no matter how I tried, and she never even seemed to put in any effort. Secondary school however was a different experience altogether. Though I also had challenges there, none of it was academic in the first three years, until the senior years, and the challenge then was more mathematical than it was grammatical, and though I struggled with subjects that had some maths in them, I eventually aced both maths and physics in the certificate exam, and of course the best English result of my set.


I encountered maths in my first year of university, as well as during my Masters, in Business Administration. Though on both occasions I didn't ace the associated courses, but I did scale them to pursue my desired degrees. Now, my dreams usually focus on the primary and the secondary. With the secondary, it is that I would wake up late (in the dream), to find I hadn't prepared for the morning's maths exam. The pattern repeated itself so much so that I had to write on my WhatsApp status, that "maths must've scarred me to the extent that I have nightmares about it, years after I've left school, and having nothing to do with it, in the academic or examination sense of it". Interestingly, in my school days, I was never afraid of exams, because most often than not, I was usually prepared, even if not to ace the exams. In the worst of cases, still I was prepared enough to pass. And I did record some failures, yes in medical school, and had to resit some courses, which helped me know those ones better than I did the courses that I managed to pass at first sitting.


Again, I could bet that because in those dreams, I seemed not to be prepared for the exams, which was, and is unlike me, I attributed them to my other existence. It usually involves the younger version of myself, imbued with the fear of failure (which I didn't have at the time in my real life), that I would wake up with a start in this universe, disoriented for a while, especially with the wife telling me I'd be late for work if I didn't do more than sitting by the side of our bed, and glaring into nothingness, before I begin to gather myself back together. Interestingly, just like seeing my late Dad in my dreams, where I never truly see his face, even when he's talking to him, and I seem to be looking at him (the way I know is him is the essence of him I feel about me, like how you don't exactly have to look at someone talking to you because you know who s/he is), when I see myself in those dreams, I play me so I don't know how I look, and I don't remember passing by a mirror, people in the dream know me and call me by my name, especially if they are the same people I know in this life. The only time I see my face is when a lying-in-state is organized, and I'm the one lying in the coffin or casket, sometimes I'd be amongst those paying my last respects to me, and people around me don't even find it awkward that one of those passing by the corpse looks like the deceased. Then I suspect that I might be spotting a different face to look at me, or that I'm not actually there in person, but viewing events like one watching TV.


When I gained an insight into the workings of the soul (like you would were you a kabbalist, or into the Eastern religions, or have some affinity for the mystic), it dawned on me, that my soul may just be a part of a number of souls that belong to a super soul that's existing in different bodies at the same time, in parallel universes or existences, that I sometimes may share experiences with, via dreams and/or other out-of-body experiences. It could also mirror experiences of past existences that my soul may have endured in bodies in the years gone by. I know that many who read this may consider it gibberish, and I very much understand why they would, because it wasn't long ago before I gained just a peek into possibilities of this kind. Sometimes, I get a headache pondering as to what all these means, especially when I consider them in relation to what my purpose in life really is.


The fact that I had thought all of the things I've written here up, didn't stop me from getting a second opinion from Isaiah, a Christian and aspiring pastor. He told me that if at my age, and position in life, I was still having dreams about being in school, then it must mean that my life is facing some retardation, as I should have been seeing dreams related to my present station in life. That really set me thinking. Why did I have to go through all the rigour of looking into depths with a tiny light source, when the interpretation of my dreams could be just this simple and straightforward, but I reasoned that he may be of the persuasion where progress in life, is associated with the acquisition of material goods and affluence, hence it is no surprise that he posits that I might be living through an arrested development, having laid my dreams about my school days alongside my realities to come to such a conclusion.


Such a mindset takes no cognisance of, neither does it recognise the fact that knowledge of the esoteric engenders gifts that may not be quantified in terms of physical gains, but rather grants "a peace that passeth all understanding", some level of contentment, and the loss of fear for the morrow, amongst the likes. It affords one an insight into why we are here in the first place, and what should be paramount on our list(s) of pursuits. There was this morning I was on my way to work, and the driver of the bus I was in was in a road rage situation with a car on a bridge over a lagoon, and the woman beside me, like a few of the other passengers were all besides themselves shouting, in a mixture of prayer, curses, and pleading to both parties to call off their madness. When all was calm moments later she wondered aloud as to how I remained calm even though I was by the window, and must surely sustain major injuries had an accident occurred. I told her that shouting would've changed nothing, that outcomes are predetermined, ours is just to play into it, i.e. what needs to happen, has already happened. I could sense she didn't understand a word of what I said to her.


When I wrote DÉJÀ VU https://madukovich./2015/04/24/deja-vu/ a while ago, it was to see if any other person found inadequate the definition given to it, by most dictionaries and thesauri, like I had. From my experience, twas and remains still, predictive in nature. There were occasions where I lost the shock factor to events that should've knocked the hell outta me, just because it would appear like I'd seen the event before, many times I could even tell what would follow afterwards, and of course do my part in the evolving and ensuing scenario to the latter, to the end as was predicted. You get the feeling that we are tugging at only a minuscule of the vast array of our mind's reach, leaving one to feel like one hasn't fully lived if that aspect of life that is largely hidden from the majority of us, isn't explored.


'kovich


PICTURE CREDIT:
- https://wifflegif.com


DREAMS AND THE ESOTERIC https://madukovich./2021/02/04/dreams-and-the-esoteric/