This has been on my mind for a long time now. Ask the average man why he's not married and he'll say he's not ready yet, citing a plethora of reasons.

But this man is actively having sex non-stop, and possibly spending more than it takes to run a home...then a girl gets pregnant and he's suddenly ready.

So what's the deal? Is it that all men who got married following a pregnancy got married to people they don't love/want and have been struggling through the marriage?

If the above isn't the case, what then stops a man from making up his mind to marry, without a premarital pregnancy first coming into the picture? If he knows he loves the person he's with, and can actually imagine doing forever with her, and won't end up on the streets begging to sustain the family, why not do the right thing and get married? Instead of waiting for the pressure that comes with marrying a pregnant woman... or wasting valuable years before starting a family?

PrimadonnaO:
This has been on my mind for a long time now. Ask the average man why he's not married and he'll say he's not ready yet, citing a plethora of reasons.

But this man is actively having sex non-stop, and possibly spending more than it takes to run a home...then a girl gets pregnant and he's suddenly ready.

So what's the deal? Is it that all men who got married following a pregnancy got married to people they don't love/want and have been struggling through the marriage?

If the above isn't the case, what then stops a man from making up his mind to marry, without a premarital pregnancy first coming into the picture? If he knows he loves the person he's with, and can actually imagine doing forever with her, and won't end up on the streets begging to sustain the family, why not do the right thing and get married? Instead of waiting for the pressure that comes with marrying a pregnant woman... or wasting valuable years before starting a family?

You
need to come clear. Is it that you want a man to impregnate you so that you can force him to marry you? Or you want to know the reason why men chose not to marry and rather have baby mama?

Feel free to ask

That's if they are responsible

Mabizeka:
That's if they are responsible

True, because these days a lot of men still choose the baby daddy route.

Which still begs the same question... since they pride themselves as being responsible... and they know they don't want children out of wedlock, why carry on unmarried until a pregnancy happens?

PrimadonnaO:


True, because these days a lot of men still choose the baby daddy route.

Which still begs the same question... since they pride themselves as being responsible... and they know they don't want children out of wedlock, why carry on unmarried until a pregnancy happens?

To your question. it doesn't make sense

Those types of men are irresponsible, and the women who often fall into this snare are less valued.

A woman should be a surprise to her husband till the wedding night.


Nice reasoning.

Op que ge k-leg....no answer from me.

well,

I see myself getting married before I clock 27, but na bride price dey fear me.


Solution give Ada belle and her family will beg me to marry her....bride price go reduce nd marriage go smooth.

chatinent:
Those types of men are irresponsible, and the women who often fall into this snare are less valued.

A woman should be a surprise to her husband till the wedding night.


Nice reasoning.

what will you call women with LGA body counts

stop being a pussy.....Nl gals won't slide into ur dm nd show u free saggy bo0bs

He gats to be ready by fire by force because some families don't take shit. So if he tries to be funny, he'll collect.

Most of them, it's out of fear. While some it's out of shame.

its not that they get ready based mainly on two things

1 though the pregnacy has come
before the full planning to marriage he will
marry simpl becoz he feels that she is the right right woman to marry

2 You are forced to marry by elders as the right to do as per culture and tradition

Catfishing:

what will you call women with LGA body counts

stop being a pussy.....Nl gals won't slide to ur dm nd show u free saggy bo0bs

...
I've been observing that niggaaa..

If the above isn't the case, what then stops a man from making up his mind to marry, without a premarital pregnancy first coming into the picture? If he knows he loves the person he's with, and can actually imagine doing forever with her, and won't end up on the streets begging to sustain the family, why not do the right thing and get married? Instead of waiting for the pressure that comes with marrying a pregnant woman... or wasting valuable years before starting a family?

Perhaps in his mind, the lady may not be good enough as a wife, but instead of breaking up with her, he's taking his time trying to decide if a lifetime with her will be worth it.

An unplanned pregnancy however usually makes a man re-evaluate his plans, and this has a lot more to do with the unborn child in the woman's womb than with the woman herself.

What I mean is that, by all indices a man will not suddenly see a lady as good enough for marriage just because she got pregnant for him. It's that desire to be a father (a proper father) that overrides every reservation he may have had about her.

PrimadonnaO:
This has been on my mind for a long time now. Ask the average man why he's not married and he'll say he's not ready yet, citing a plethora of reasons.

But this man is actively having sex non-stop, and possibly spending more than it takes to run a home...then a girl gets pregnant and he's suddenly ready.

So what's the deal? Is it that all men who got married following a pregnancy got married to people they don't love/want and have been struggling through the marriage?

If the above isn't the case, what then stops a man from making up his mind to marry, without a premarital pregnancy first coming into the picture? If he knows he loves the person he's with, and can actually imagine doing forever with her, and won't end up on the streets begging to sustain the family, why not do the right thing and get married? Instead of waiting for the pressure that comes with marrying a pregnant woman... or wasting valuable years before starting a family?

You see, men unlike women, don't whine and blame the other gender for getting pregnant. We see it as a challenge and then we take it up.

PrimadonnaO:
This has been on my mind for a long time now. Ask the average man why he's not married and he'll say he's not ready yet, citing a plethora of reasons.

But this man is actively having sex non-stop, and possibly spending more than it takes to run a home...then a girl gets pregnant and he's suddenly ready.

So what's the deal? Is it that all men who got married following a pregnancy got married to people they don't love/want and have been struggling through the marriage?

If the above isn't the case, what then stops a man from making up his mind to marry, without a premarital pregnancy first coming into the picture? If he knows he loves the person he's with, and can actually imagine doing forever with her, and won't end up on the streets begging to sustain the family, why not do the right thing and get married? Instead of waiting for the pressure that comes with marrying a pregnant woman... or wasting valuable years before starting a family?

Because they are matured for marriage but yet to make up their mind to get settled

So trust women now, they always know their game

crackhaus:

Perhaps in his mind, the lady may not be good enough as a wife, but instead of breaking up with her, he's taking his time trying to decide if a lifetime with her will be worth it.

An unplanned pregnancy however usually makes a man re-evaluate his plans, and this has a lot more to do with the unborn child in the woman's womb than with the woman herself.

What I mean is that, by all indices a man will not suddenly see a lady as good enough for marriage just because she got pregnant for him. It's that desire to be a father (a proper father) that overrides every reservation he may have had about her.

To confirm this notion, some ladies feign pregnancy, watch the guy's reaction to ascertain the worthiness of this risk; pregnancy.

It is because they don't know what they want. After tasting all the women under the disguise of searching for a wife material, they get confused. At the end of the day, pregnancy takes the decision for them.

Says who??

chatinent:
Those types of men are irresponsible, and the women who often fall into this snare are less valued.

A woman should be a surprise to her husband till the wedding night.


Nice reasoning.

and what about the other gender? oh for goodness don't involve one gender in terms of Hypocrisy.

Catfishing:

what will you call women with LGA body counts

stop being a pussy.....Nl gals won't slide into ur dm nd show u free saggy bo0bs

yeah because they respect themselves. and NL men can slide in and open a trend to show the public thier sagging, wrinkling and over used penis.

Epositive:

To confirm this notion, some ladies feign pregnancy, watch the guy's reaction to ascertain the worthiness of this risk; pregnancy.

Lol @ feigning pregnancy. They know the kind of guys they can pull that stunt on.
Are we still in 1995?

Personally, I always prefer to see a positive pregnancy test result before reacting. it's as simple as peeing on a stick inside the bathroom these days.

But I get your point though.

Not all, perhaps some of them do.. Even less likely in recent times

OP, I see that you're leaning on the presumed love/dating aspect i.e a relationship between two persons(or more, for people that double date, triple date whatever lol) perhaps "testing" one another to know if they can/will at some point, consider getting married(to one of them).. Aii, let's say a lady gets pregnant, she then decides to tell her man orrr her parents I dunno whichever.. Now, if she tells the man, he may/may not take it very well in the sense that at some point he may have considered her his soulmate orrr he never had intentions of settling down with her in the long run but was just having casual s.ex with her pending when he meets the lohl(love of his life).. Okay, the part where she's got to tell her parents before they find out on their own(dem no dey hide belle na except sey you don get plans), it won't be sooo crazy if her man is okay with it & intends to marry her, her parents will definitely ask to meet with him & discuss about his plans. Wahala go wear koi koi, when bobo says he's no longer interested infact denies responsibility of the pregnancy.. She con go tell maale & paale wetin dey sup, God punish devil dem con talk sey alaye must marry her oo orrr im go collect for inside guardroom.. Laslas bobo gats choose wan sha; perhaps a third option.. Even better, babydaddy sef issa goal

Haha lmfaooo but seriously it depends solely on the individual.. A man can(of his own accord; without any form of coercion) decide to marry his pregnant partner just to be a "proper father" for his unborn child(on basis of love or not), after he must've evaluated & re-evaluated so many things as crackhaus rightly said.. Ofcourse, he may also decide to work towards being not just an awesome father but also a fantastic husband.

Only about 30-40% of people(women inclusive) will actually consider it now.. People just want to enjoy random or casual s.ex, "not everybody" wants to get married.

This happens only when he already loves you and have been thinking towards the marriage line for a while. The pregnancy just becomes a motivation or catalyst.

Don't go and disappoint yourself with a man who has no plans to wife you or anyone at the moment. You will not just get blocked but thrown out like a refugee.
One igbo song would say... 'umu nwaanyi metu onye di mma enyi'

veave:
This happens only when he already loves you and have been thinking towards the marriage line for a while. The pregnancy just becomes a motivation or catalyst.

Don't go and disappoint yourself with a man who has no plans to wife you or anyone at the moment. You will not just get blocked but thrown out like a refugee.
One igbo song would say... 'umu nwaanyi metu onye di mma enyi'

its not always what you think. I beg to differ a bit. Sometimes, these men may not love these girls. Probably married out of pressure or pity

Catfishing:
Op que ge k-leg....no answer from me.

well,

I see myself getting married before I clock 27, but na bride price dey fear me.


Solution give Ada belle and her family will beg me to marry her....bride price go reduce nd marriage go smooth.

It doesn't make sense... comes with a lot of pressure... and there are some people who will never respect your wife because they knew she got pregnant before marriage. So don't. When you're ready, get married the right way.

It's not as if people don't know that too many people are having premarital sex, but a pregnancy is like making a billboard of it.

crackhaus:

Perhaps in his mind, the lady may not be good enough as a wife, but instead of breaking up with her, he's taking his time trying to decide if a lifetime with her will be worth it.

An unplanned pregnancy however usually makes a man re-evaluate his plans, and this has a lot more to do with the unborn child in the woman's womb than with the woman herself.

What I mean is that, by all indices a man will not suddenly see a lady as good enough for marriage just because she got pregnant for him. It's that desire to be a father (a proper father) that overrides every reservation he may have had about her.

Summarily, when a man gets married following a pregnancy it is usually about the baby, and not primarily about the woman... not about loving her wholly... not about knowing there's no one else he'd rather be with.

This trend has been mind-boggling to be honest. I've seen people date for many years, people who are well enough to be married, but the marriage never happened until a pregnancy showed up.

I don't say it out loud, but I've always felt they "settled" rather than going for what they actually wanted. It's why I decided to sample opinions.

frozen70:


Because they are matured for marriage but yet to make up their mind to get settled

So trust women now, they always know their game

If they're unable to make up their minds, don't you think it's because they have reservations? Reservations that if a pregnancy didn't happen, would have made them call it quits down the line.

veave:
This happens only when he already loves you and have been thinking towards the marriage line for a while. The pregnancy just becomes a motivation or catalyst.

Don't go and disappoint yourself with a man who has no plans to wife you or anyone at the moment. You will not just get blocked but thrown out like a refugee.
One igbo song would say... 'umu nwaanyi metu onye di mma enyi'

LOL. I'd rather a man who's consciously ready.

I overthink things... if I ever found myself pregnant out of wedlock, and the man decides to start making marriage plans, I don't think I'll ever get over wondering if he married me because of the pregnancy, and that's not a good place to be.

@bolded. First off, I strongly believe an adult girl won't get pregnant if she's totally against it. So I think some girls allow themselves to get pregnant because they feel the relationship is solid, they assume the man loves them, and the pregnancy would catalyse his decision to marry her.

But that's a pitfall, because the pregnancy shows up, and love starts seeming like derision.

E don choke na.

1F30M4:
Not all, perhaps some of them do.. Even less likely in recent times

OP, I see that you're leaning on the presumed love/dating aspect i.e a relationship between two persons(or more, for people that double date, triple date whatever lol) perhaps "testing" one another to know if they can/will at some point, consider getting married(to one of them).. Aii, let's say a lady gets pregnant, she then decides to tell her man orrr her parents I dunno whichever.. Now, if she tells the man, he may/may not take it very well in the sense that at some point he may have considered her his soulmate orrr he never had intentions of settling down with her in the long run but was just having casual s.ex with her pending when he meets the lohl(love of his life).. Okay, the part where she's got to tell her parents before they find out on their own(dem no dey hide belle na except sey you don get plans), it won't be sooo crazy if her man is okay with it & intends to marry her, her parents will definitely ask to meet with him & discuss about his plans. Wahala go wear koi koi, when bobo says he's no longer interested infact denies responsibility of the pregnancy.. She con go tell maale & paale wetin dey sup, God punish devil dem con talk sey alaye must marry her oo orrr im go collect for inside guardroom.. Laslas bobo gats choose wan sha; perhaps a third option.. Even better, babydaddy sef issa goal

Haha lmfaooo but seriously it depends solely on the individual.. A man can(of his own accord; without any form of coercion) decide to marry his pregnant partner just to be a "proper father" for his unborn child(on basis of love or not), after he must've evaluated & re-evaluated so many things as crackhaus rightly said.. Ofcourse, he may also decide to work towards being not just an awesome father but also a fantastic husband.

Only about 30-40% of people(women inclusive) will actually consider it now.. People just want to enjoy random or casual s.ex, "not everybody" wants to get married.

mehn!!! see as you the flow with pidgin english. I remove cap for you
.

chatinent:
Those types of men are irresponsible, and the women who often fall into this snare are less valued.

A woman should be a surprise to her husband till the wedding night.


Nice reasoning.

So are u telling us that you were a virgin when you met your wife?.... If you were not married, is the surprises applicable to you also or just the woman?

KanwuliaExtra:
E don choke na.

This cracked me up!

PrimadonnaO:

Summarily, when a man gets married following a pregnancy it is usually about the baby, and not primarily about the woman... not about loving her wholly... not about knowing there's no one else he'd rather be with.

This trend has been mind-boggling to be honest. I've seen people date for many years, people who are well enough to be married, but the marriage never happened until a pregnancy showed up.

I don't say it out loud, but I've always felt they "settled" rather than going for what they actually wanted. It's why I decided to sample opinions.

Basically...