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I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes - Family - Nairaland

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I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by SamJed(m): 3:20pm On Apr 03, 2021
My dad is a good man, intelligent, intellectual, and very influential everywhere he finds himself. Back in the village, they always consult him before taking decisions. Here in town, he is highly respected. Now this is the problem, as the days go by, it keeps dawning on me that people are looking up to me to "follow in his steps" as the first son. In fact, most people know me as " son of (his name)".

But I don't want to, I am a tech nerd, don't like gatherings, enjoy my solitude, very reserved. He always want me to "come out", see people, meet his friends, associate, and I very much dislike those.

Honestly, he has the connections to set things up for me, but I feel satisfied when I achieve things my way. I am sure he wants me to take over his business, and stuffs like that, but I am in no way interested in those.

While I am writing this is because, it's beginning to look like I am rebellious or stubborn. But I am not, I am just not interested in what may be termed "normal".

How do I go about this issue? I don't want to look like a bad son, but at the same time, I don't want to engage in what I derive no pleasure in.

Btw i should be done with my nysc by next year. So I need to take my decision fast.

2 Likes

Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by heniford2: 3:26pm On Apr 03, 2021
SamJed:
My dad is a good man, intelligent, intellectual, and very influential everywhere he finds himself. Back in the village, they always consult him before taking decisions. Here in town, he is highly respected. Now this is the problem, as the days go by, it keeps dawning on me that people are looking up to me to "follow in his steps" as the first son. In fact, most people know me as " son of (his name)".

But I don't want to, I am a tech nerd, don't like gatherings, enjoy my solitude, very reserved. He always want me to "come out", see people, meet his friends, associate, and I very much dislike those.

Honestly, he has the connections to set things up for me, but I feel satisfied when I achieve things my way. I am sure he wants me to take over his business, and stuffs like that, but I am in no way interested in those.

While I am writing this is because, it's beginning to look like I am rebellious or stubborn. But I am not, I am just not interested in what may be termed "normal".

How do I go about this issue? I don't want to look like a bad son, but at the same time, I don't want to engage in what I derive no pleasure in.
we can talk it out bro
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by Nobody: 3:30pm On Apr 03, 2021
Hehehehe
Him papa dey nairaland. Hehehehe

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by Cerebellum: 3:31pm On Apr 03, 2021
Quite doing like a sissy and a Kid bro

Buckle up and know what you want
Life hard gann o
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by yudee233: 3:32pm On Apr 03, 2021
An introvert taking family issues to Nairaland ��‍♂️��‍♂️��‍♂️��‍♂️
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by CaptainStephen(m): 3:35pm On Apr 03, 2021
How old are you?
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by kelechi50: 3:37pm On Apr 03, 2021
Some parents don't know that they children should leave independent of them and not tied up in their waist like apron
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by Bornsinner7: 3:38pm On Apr 03, 2021
Wanti wanti cyaah getti, an getti getti nuh wanti

(Be thankful for the blessings that come to you always realising that many of the things we take for granted are luxuries to others)

Well.. simply tell him want you want for yourself in a respectful way.. try to make him understand that you're what you are and can't be what he wants you to be..

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by Xenry: 3:40pm On Apr 03, 2021
grin grin

Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by Kobicove(m): 3:43pm On Apr 03, 2021
As the first son you should always know that this day would come undecided
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by illicit(m): 4:01pm On Apr 03, 2021
At least wear his cap

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by tsmith(f): 4:09pm On Apr 03, 2021
SamJed:
My dad is a good man, intelligent, intellectual, and very influential everywhere he finds himself. Back in the village, they always consult him before taking decisions. Here in town, he is highly respected. Now this is the problem, as the days go by, it keeps dawning on me that people are looking up to me to "follow in his steps" as the first son. In fact, most people know me as " son of (his name)".

But I don't want to, I am a tech nerd, don't like gatherings, enjoy my solitude, very reserved. He always want me to "come out", see people, meet his friends, associate, and I very much dislike those.

Honestly, he has the connections to set things up for me, but I feel satisfied when I achieve things my way. I am sure he wants me to take over his business, and stuffs like that, but I am in no way interested in those.

While I am writing this is because, it's beginning to look like I am rebellious or stubborn. But I am not, I am just not interested in what may be termed "normal".

How do I go about this issue? I don't want to look like a bad son, but at the same time, I don't want to engage in what I derive no pleasure in.

Btw i should be done with my nysc by next year. So I need to take my decision fast.

Your feelings and thoughts are very valid. Just simply have the discussion with him that you'd like to take a chance and plot your own paths. You appreciate all his efforts and endless opportunities available as efforts of his goodwill, however you do not and will not be fulfilled living in his shadows. Let him know you take more pride and comfort from your own efforts. Assure him you're aware and conscious of the journey ahead, and that at times it may be hard and steep, may not even work out well, however taking it's of your own free will, you believe you'd put in the dedication required for success. To make him even feel better, let him know you're not undermining him or the possibilities that can come from his being, however if and when you feel stranded you'd deep into his very knowledgeable knowledge and experience.

Any father will be well proud of a son that's can think through and articulate the above
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by yanabasee1(m): 4:19pm On Apr 03, 2021
If you describe your father as an intelligent man and a brilliant one at that....I expect him to not push you into taking over his steps....



But, you should try to unbundle yourself and try to find benefits from his connects.... You might just need those connects to meet your stardom....

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by Offpoint1: 4:25pm On Apr 03, 2021
Become your own man and chase your own dreams...

Let him you respect him, but you have a different dream.

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by hakeemhakeem(m): 9:01am On Apr 04, 2021
pls make him happy while he stiill alive by doing it little by little ,you would gain how he make decisions and how he solve people problems those you would needs in coming years. I understand you perfectly I'm once in your shoe my father wanted something like that in his days (rip baba mi)but now I steps in the role to continues the legacy trying to coordinates the youths to bring development to my village.

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by Oizee(f): 9:09am On Apr 04, 2021
illicit:
At least wear his cap
lol

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by illicit(m): 9:11am On Apr 04, 2021
Oizee:
lol

Hi Oizee, happy Easter to you
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by Oizee(f): 9:14am On Apr 04, 2021
illicit:



Hi Oizee, happy Easter to you
thanks, may dis moment brings more goodies to us o
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by illicit(m): 9:21am On Apr 04, 2021
Oizee:
thanks, may dis moment brings more goodies to us o


Amen
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by Oizee(f): 9:39am On Apr 04, 2021
illicit:


Amen
Mind if I WhatsApp u?
noooooooooo thank you
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by illicit(m): 9:59am On Apr 04, 2021
Oizee:
noooooooooo thank you

smiley
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by lilvicky68(m): 10:03am On Apr 04, 2021
illicit:



smiley

If you know the long queue wey dey her WhatsApp you no go wan join them..lol

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by illicit(m): 10:05am On Apr 04, 2021
lilvicky68:

If you know the long queue wey dey her WhatsApp you no go wan join them..lol


tongue
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by AfroKnight: 10:43am On Apr 04, 2021
You’re funny.

You’d better let your father help you with his influence. What is the essence of being influential if your own children can’t benefit?

Calm down and Let him help you.

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by GboyegaD(m): 11:42am On Apr 04, 2021
Have a real discussion with him and let him understand your appreciation of his good intentions however, it doesn't fit what you want. Make him understand you wouldn't want to destroy his hardwork and legacies since your passion is different from his. Use his connections to launch yourself and trust God to see you through.
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by bukatyne(f): 12:58pm On Apr 04, 2021
This thread reminds me of Sunday School today:

Leaving a lasting legacy.

Now, to leave a lasting legacy is one thing; for your children and descendants to follow is another.

SamJed:
My dad is a good man, intelligent, intellectual, and very influential everywhere he finds himself. Back in the village, they always consult him before taking decisions. Here in town, he is highly respected. Now this is the problem, as the days go by, it keeps dawning on me that people are looking up to me to "follow in his steps" as the first son. In fact, most people know me as " son of (his name)".

But I don't want to, I am a tech nerd, don't like gatherings, enjoy my solitude, very reserved. He always want me to "come out", see people, meet his friends, associate, and I very much dislike those.

Honestly, he has the connections to set things up for me, but I feel satisfied when I achieve things my way. I am sure he wants me to take over his business, and stuffs like that, but I am in no way interested in those.

While I am writing this is because, it's beginning to look like I am rebellious or stubborn. But I am not, I am just not interested in what may be termed "normal".

How do I go about this issue? I don't want to look like a bad son, but at the same time, I don't want to engage in what I derive no pleasure in.

Btw i should be done with my nysc by next year. So I need to take my decision fast.

Can you meet your father half-way?

If he has prepared certain connections for you, can you use them in your own way (considering your personality?)

If there are certain shoes of your dad you are expected to fill, can you try in your own way?

Can you lend some of your skills to the business and get people to do the part of the job you don't like?

It is not easy to leave a legacy and your child is not interested to follow that path.

It almost seems the parent failed to pass out the torch on.
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by Ishilove: 1:41pm On Apr 04, 2021
Op, you are a bad son tongue grin
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by mariahAngel(f): 2:30pm On Apr 04, 2021
SamJed:
My dad is a good man, intelligent, intellectual, and very influential everywhere he finds himself. Back in the village, they always consult him before taking decisions. Here in town, he is highly respected. Now this is the problem, as the days go by, it keeps dawning on me that people are looking up to me to "follow in his steps" as the first son. In fact, most people know me as " son of (his name)".

But I don't want to, I am a tech nerd, don't like gatherings, enjoy my solitude, very reserved. He always want me to "come out", see people, meet his friends, associate, and I very much dislike those.

Honestly, he has the connections to set things up for me, but I feel satisfied when I achieve things my way. I am sure he wants me to take over his business, and stuffs like that, but I am in no way interested in those.

While I am writing this is because, it's beginning to look like I am rebellious or stubborn. But I am not, I am just not interested in what may be termed "normal".

How do I go about this issue? I don't want to look like a bad son, but at the same time, I don't want to engage in what I derive no pleasure in.

Btw i should be done with my nysc by next year. So I need to take my decision fast.



Do you have a younger brother?
Don't come complaining when he takes your place in the family.
Don't feel bad when they give him the honour and respect that should've been yours.
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by iamyemiakins(m): 2:57pm On Apr 04, 2021
Wear one leg of his shoes which means, try to get along with him as he's trying to carry you along in his steps even if you don't really want to follow his steps. Just be involved in one or two things, don't be blanked out!
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by Nigga44: 5:58pm On Apr 04, 2021
Ok
Re: I Don't Want To Wear My Dad's Shoes by Nigga44: 6:08pm On Apr 04, 2021
SamJed:
My dad is a good man, intelligent, intellectual, and very influential everywhere he finds himself. Back in the village, they always consult him before taking decisions. Here in town, he is highly respected. Now this is the problem, as the days go by, it keeps dawning on me that people are looking up to me to "follow in his steps" as the first son. In fact, most people know me as " son of (his name)".

But I don't want to, I am a tech nerd, don't like gatherings, enjoy my solitude, very reserved. He always want me to "come out", see people, meet his friends, associate, and I very much dislike those.

Honestly, he has the connections to set things up for me, but I feel satisfied when I achieve things my way. I am sure he wants me to take over his business, and stuffs like that, but I am in no way interested in those.

While I am writing this is because, it's beginning to look like I am rebellious or stubborn. But I am not, I am just not interested in what may be termed "normal".

How do I go about this issue? I don't want to look like a bad son, but at the same time, I don't want to engage in what I derive no pleasure in.

Btw i should be done with my nysc by next year. So I need to take my decision fast.
I will refer you to the book '48 laws of power' by Robert Greene.

Please read and digest 'law 41' which says AVOID STEEPING INTO A GREAT MAN'S SHOES'.

What you seek is aptly explained there.

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