You are a man and you married a woman for years and she doesn't care how you take care of all family expenses -feeding the family,accommodation,Kids, etc infact every single expenses in the house and whether the man has a financial challenges,lost of job and out of job etc is never her concern and can never ask you how you are managing to take care of family and she doesn't work or care to be interested in what contribution she can make to run the family.

She is of the assumption that it is the duty of only the man to take care of both her,the kids,all family expenses and doesn't have any concern even if no single food in the house and the husband has no money is never her concern or to think on what to do. Hers is that she and the children must eat whether the husband has money or not and she will just relax on the mentality that once the children eat,she must eat irrespective of whatever the man is passing through financially is never her concern and cannot even ask you

As annoying as this kind of situation may be, how do you handle or cope with such type of wife.

Dear farous,


The Holy Book says; "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing.... But in this case, you found nothing but a baby making machine...

A woman is supposed to be a Helpmate to her husband and not a nonchalant devourer and freeloader.

If I am in that situation, I will have a word with her, but if she continues that devilish behavior of trying to see me die before my time, then I will waste no time to boot the wicked liability out of my life.

I'll marry a supportive wife.

Not a loan.

Marry a woman that is not supportive is like living inside hell fire here on earth.... The end result is always F9 and if care is not taken divorce.. I rise

some women have that mentality. maybe because growing up, that's what was attainable in her family. That's also the expectation of the Nigerian society. There are men who want a full time house wife they will provide for and there are women who only want to be a housewife. You failed to establish the kind of woman she is during courtship.

That said, try the carrot and stick approach. Is your wife a graduate, you can talk to her about getting a job or start a trade (though i wonder where the money will come from). And really someone at this age and experience that don't know how or what to do to help a husband, forcing her might bring resentment. and she might likely fail at whatever she's forced to do due to lack of interest. You might try the stick approach. Don't drop money for a week and see exactly what she will do. like try to not even feed the kids and see the extent of her laziness. I think her actions will guide you on the next step to take.

I pray favour finds you again. May God bless and provide for you. i really don't know how a family can be happy without money.

You need to bring it up. The reason why people should have real discussions when dating and not acting alpha and omega.

That kind of woman you just described here is a demon.

What were u guys discussing during courtship?

Abi una no court or na arrange marriage?

The failure of every marriage starts from court ship,if u overlook those vital things,it will definitely haunt u terribly.

Fact is,u must have allowed this kind of behaviour when the going was good and that is why it is kind of difficult to correct such a behaviour from ur wife now.

Solution:
Get her a job or get her established as soon as u can.

The most surprising thing that will atimes make you begin to think whether this person is truly a human being with conscience and reasoning is that you are open to her both in finance and other things right from the time of the marriage till date and will call her explain all you are passing through both financial challenges,and challenges on what you are doing to the extent you don't have and have most times borrowed and borrowed money from different sources just to fend the family. She can never for one day ask you how far about that thing you said or how are we going to do it. All hers is this man must provide.Truly just like somebody commented here,it's like a man bring in Hellfire

Honestly this experience is annoying and need to share and hear from men that have encountered this kind of wife or in this kind of marriage

You are not alone, the worst side of it is that some of these lazy women will spent your hard earned money lavishly on things that don't make sense

Discuss before marriage na

I see a lot of people writing he should have discussed this before getting married.
Apart from this particular issue the op raised,some partners pretend alot just to achieve their goal(marriage).

Dear op,you need to give her a push.Some people not until you push them,they just feel settled.
In as much some men dont mind having a full time house wife,not all men will want that.
Sit her down and have a heart to heart discussion.
Dont put yourself under unnecessary pressure.

Op,

You are just complaining a great deal - ok you need a room to vent. That's good but answer-

Is your wife a graduate ?
How many children and what ages?

People will hardly understand you except those that find themselves in a similar situation, some of these lazy women will not even offer an ordinary advice when you are in a difficult situation, they will borden you financially and emotionally. And they are not ready to cooperate. an adult baby in the name of a wife is not good for a struggling

Actually it is the duty of the man to take care of the family expenses while she takes care of the home front. The man is the provider that is the norm its not an assumption as you put it there's nothing wrong with her thinking this way as some are already calling her lazy woman blabla She is not wrong to expect that from you.

She just needs to understand that economic realities are now different, most wife's are now required to work to support the family income as the income of most husbands can't take care of the family. Tell her the burden is too much on you alone.

armyofone:
Op,

You are just complaining a great deal - ok you need a room to vent. That's good but answer-

Is your wife a graduate ?
How many children and what ages?

Even if she's not a graduate, there are so many other easy things she can do to generate income and support her family.

This is what you get when you marry a woman who is only interested in marriage for marriage's sake. Her own is to nack you, born for you and eat. No effort to develop herself or add to your development

farous:
You are a man and you married a woman for years and she doesn't care how you take care of all family expenses -feeding the family,accommodation,Kids, etc infact every single expenses in the house and whether the man has a financial challenges,lost of job and out of job etc is never her concern and can never ask you how you are managing to take care of family and she doesn't work or care to be interested in what contribution she can make to run the family.

She is of the assumption that it is the duty of only the man to take care of both her,the kids,all family expenses and doesn't have any concern even if no single food in the house and the husband has no money is never her concern or to think on what to do. Hers is that she and the children must eat whether the husband has money or not and she will just relax on the mentality that once the children eat,she must eat irrespective of whatever the man is passing through financially is never her concern and cannot even ask you

As annoying as this kind of situation may be, how do you handle or cope with such type of wife.

You are the head of the family so only you will take the heat.

People's hypocrisy stinks, if women say they want a rich man to marry most of you wailing here will call her a gold digger.

Leave her to birth and do house chores, go out and look for money and pay all the Bills...

Unresourcefulness isn't the worst type of human being's weakness, and it's easily covered where the pairing partner is economically successful and intrinsically benevolent or has a soft spot for the other. If you are intrinsically benevolent, then your worries in this regard are half solved, and to completely solve your worries, become rich yourself.

Unresourcefulness only becomes a problem where the unresourceful person is opportunistic; they will use exploitation and emotional blackmail to drain and ruin you.

A woman's inability to earn money directly doesn't automatically make her irresponsible, just as the ability to earn money doesn't automatically make one responsible - yet there's nothing wrong with being economically resourceful.

You can make her become economically resourceful, her irritating act of masking her weakness with a carefree attitude notwithstanding. A JV arrangement and assigning a supervision role to her will do the magic.

Actually..., I think that's How she has been brought up. So she is use to the idea that her husband should be in charge of her needs etc.
Some women hv dat mentality too.
But the husband should have noticed all the signs b4 they got married. If she dosn't hv a job or business, advice her to learn a skills

Op ,sorry to say this,that you married a demon possessed witch. Where in this 21st century can a man has such wife and still keep her. The way forward is divorce,but I also blame you for not noticing such evil lazy act during courtship or you noticed it and still went ahead and marry her because any man with this category of wife is rather like being in hell fire. What love and happiness do you expect in this kind marriage. No man can be happy

I think many did not understand the OPs explaination if I am not wrong I think I observed two things from the post,the OP is not really annoyed that she is not contributing but that apart from she is not contributing,that she don't care about how he is running the family even in a very challenging difficult financial situation by the husband,she is nonchalant and don't care ,even to call the man and ask him how he is coping, encourage him with words,infact feel concerned about what's going on.A wife may not be working but has a husking spirit,cares and encourages the husband,exhibit a supportive spirit which even those that marry millionaires and billionaires can do ,but this one is the opposite who feels all she can offer is just Bleep when there are many well groomed classic working class /career women out there looking for a husband to grow together.This type of woman will not even be happy to see you grow and that's a characteristics of the possessed and a witch.They derive joy in ensuring that the person is not happy or moving forward. OP sorry for my use of words but I am telling you the fact

Better to remain single and not incur any extra expenses than being joined together in UNholy matriMONEY with this upgraded liability, 2021 model.

@op, do not be deceived, a lot of women are like your wife, only few feminists are different. Even those who are working or have money dont always support their husbands especially the rich husbands.

All you need to do is to let her know what you can afford in taking care of the family. She will eventually adjust to the new budget at home. You can also establish business for her or tell her to find a good job.

She is a graduate

farous:
She is a graduate

I understand that getting a job these days in Nigeria is difficult, but the problem is how she shows no concern in thinking of a way to support the home, she can even start by saying "my husband I would like to start a business" just that word alone could give you a lot of hope and strengthen your bond for her.

You no see her before? . I guess you were one of those : "what are you wearing"? And "when will you visit"? kinda person, when you were supposed to be asking real questions while dating.

Anyways as you don enter am now, oga try to talk to her, set her up. If she refuse to change, then take drastic actions by deliberately cutting down allowances. However be certain it doesn't affect the children.

farous:
She is a graduate

That apart, what is she passionate about?

No human is void of potential.

You are right - some people don't want to combine work and raising kid. They see it as something hard to do.

mariahAngel:


Even if she's not a graduate, there are so many other easy things she can do to generate income and support her family.

mysticwarrior:
That kind of woman you just described here is a demon.

she’s just a traditional wife

ibechris:


The failure of every marriage starts from court ship,if u overlook those vital things,it will definitely haunt u terribly.

Bro..... if you didn't notice this attitude before marriage... it's because you gave the impression that money will never be a problem

armyofone:
You are right - some people don't want to combine work and raising kid. They see it as something hard to do.

Raising kids is a fulltime job, harder than some jobs out there.

Who would want to combine that with another fulltime job again except a suffer head person.

Please men should stop being hypocritical, you can't have it all, the rule is simple, men pay all the bills and women raise the kids and do the house chores.

I like as the OP's wife is standing her ground, besides all the kids are bearing the father's name so why should the women labour to death.

Dear women, don't allow men to deceive and manipulate you, there is no shame in being a fulltime housewife, raise the kids and do the house chores, let him pay all the bills.