I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! - Family - Nairaland
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A Widower Asking For My Hand In Marriage / People Mistake Me For Being Rich And Ask For Favours A Lot / Wife Asks Husband To Get A Girlfriend And He Got One...She's Asking For Advice (2) (3) (4)
| I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by Wendy006: 7:20am On May 16, 2021 |
Hi Folks, felt i should share this on this wonderful Sunday morning, I am really struggling to accept a part of my demeanor/outlook. "asking for favours. Profile: i am in my mid 30's, two kids and leaving quite a comfy life. I have a young and very interesting family, and most times people want to do things for me in appreciation for work done /or just a mere act of kindness and i outrightly will say No, The other day, my neighbor brought baby's food for my daughter, i thanked him, politely asked him not to that again, I eventually gave the food out. Trust me no disrespect/nor any evil thought. His feelings towards me lately is kind of subdued This happens at work too, I will never call in sick, unless i am on a dying bed, whatever management wants I accept, i make my inputs, but will never ask for any favour. I have struggled to search through any experience in the cause of my growing up that could have shaped my perception/thought pattern, couldn't find any either. i recall vividly when i lost my job in 2016, I was sleeping under the lagos bridge until I found another job, yet I had people I could call while in Lagos. I am so afraid to ak for favours, rather I grind it out. I have been surfing the internet checking for folks with similar traits, do you think this behaviour is normal. I live a very happy and normal life nonetheless, with my wife/brothers and kids my best friends. Is this behaviour normal or should i attempt to change... 1 Like |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by LMS1(m): 7:25am On May 16, 2021 |
I can can bet my N50 in Bet9ja that This guy always ask for favour but he is always not consciously aware... But let me do you a favour: Stop having the believe that you are 'Well to do' and don't need help.... Nevertheless seeking for favour comes in different formats So stop the disguise. Even this thread you Created tells That you are demanding A favour from us by Seeking advice..  3 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by moriss33(m): 7:26am On May 16, 2021 |
It's normal dear...no over reason am |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by Tony142: 7:27am On May 16, 2021 |
Wendy006: 1. Pride 2. Ego 3. you do not want to feel indebted to anyone 4. U love being independent No man is an island, know when to drop your pride and ask for favor when necessary, but just once in a while 5 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by macrodata(m): 7:27am On May 16, 2021 |
I have a wealthy bro who everyone calls from time to time to ask for big favors and he never turns anyone down. But not me, we are very close but I find it odd, strange, irritating to lower my voice down and say give me this and that. It's not pride, it's self respect and having the mental maturity to understanding how your words may make people uncomfortable. 6 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by LawLord247: 7:28am On May 16, 2021 |
Ok |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by Ever8090: 7:31am On May 16, 2021 |
All I can see is pride! pride!! pride!!! Or you were brought up in one of this Christian homes with a brainwashed doctrine that makes you feel suspicious of everyone and anything around you. Check your pride level, it might have risen above limit..I still see pride in all of this, I am finding it difficult to think of anything else pride keeps coming into my head . people who are filled with pride behaves exactly the way do. They politely looks down on people with a broad smile that irritates me and I have insulted a lot of people with that character because I hate people with pride. Only pride can give you the mind to tell your neighbor not to socialise with your family again,.if not pride you would have got excited by such gesture and reciprocate in one way or the other...I pity people around you,I wonder the number of time you must have given them that "who is this one" attitude.. Oga check your pride level every morning before you leave the house make you no go chop slap where you dey look down on people.. |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by Bigdik70inch2(m): 7:35am On May 16, 2021 |
Wendy006: Oga u r not the only one Ooo........even me too the hardest thing to do"is for me to seek for help/favour"........ Infact.........it bring me inner joy and real sense of pride knowing I did my shits mysef.......... Above all........i just wouldn't wanna hear anyone come and say"if not because I gave out this or helped him with that he wouldn't have made it ".........which is so peculiar to Nigerians........ Unfortunately people see it as a pride when I turn down their favour or gift.........i'd rather give out then accept....... 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by Wendy006: 7:38am On May 16, 2021 |
Ever8090: Oga you getting the whole thing wrong, i am a very humble man and will never look down on a kid even my sons age ok. I am atheist, so don't understand your church brainwashing narrative.. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by Wendy006: 7:39am On May 16, 2021 |
Bigdik70inch2: Interesting, seems i am not weird afterall... 1 Like |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by Ever8090: 7:41am On May 16, 2021 |
Wendy006:. Are you sure!?... because I still see pride ..
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| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by Nobody: 10:45am On May 16, 2021 |
Wendy006: I'm like this too. I was trained to not accept things from people(strangers) as a kid. I guess it got me so deep that I expanded it if you understand. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by DEGREE2466(m): 1:07pm On May 16, 2021 |
Wendy006: Safe to say you're different. There are people like you out there. I may be one of them. It's high self esteem which people mostly translate to pride. That desire not to ask for help pushes one to early success. Despite being the last child in my family, I avoid asking for favor from anyone that when I mistakenly do when it's inevitable to do so (doesn't necessarily have to be financial assistance), people will be quick to grant it. In fact, they will feel honored to have you make a request from them. So, it's a good habit that will help you when you truly need help. 5 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by BlesE: 2:17pm On May 16, 2021 |
No one is an island of himself we all need help or assistance one way or the other, but it can truly hurt when someone renders an assistance and use it to ridicule you. |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by fannybaby(f): 3:44pm On May 16, 2021 |
Yes yes yes.... Just like me |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by 2dice01: 6:27pm On May 16, 2021 |
Also like that To even make friends sef na war You have to show extreme Greenlight irrespective of the Gender I dedicate this song to all of us in the category G eazy ft Bebe rexha Me Myself and i Quote : I have got me for life  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSfpSOBD30U 1 Like |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by egopersonified(f): 8:40pm On May 16, 2021 |
Wendy006: You are afraid of rejection |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by Karleb(m): 8:13am On May 17, 2021 |
egopersonified: Exactly! There is this video of a man that did 100 days of rejection on YouTube, he should search for it and watch. Truth is, most people would give us what we ask for if we ask politely and give them reasons. Or even if we simply just asked. |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by Karleb(m): 8:16am On May 17, 2021 |
Ever8090: It's not always pride joor. Some people are just like that. Most other people would translate it to pride though. |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by The5DME(m): 8:38am On May 17, 2021 |
Karleb:ok bro. Please can u help me with 5k since u said we should ask politely? |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by Karleb(m): 8:40am On May 17, 2021 |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by maureensylvia(f): 8:32am On May 20, 2021 |
Ever8090: Not true |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by maureensylvia(f): 8:33am On May 20, 2021 |
Bigdik70inch2: Bless up 1 Like |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by faithfull18(f): 10:02am On May 20, 2021 |
It's called self-respect. People tend to value you more and help us when you eventually request as they would know you were left with no choice. |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by lanre9ja(m): 2:21pm On May 20, 2021 |
Wendy006: I can relate to this.... I don't like asking for help even when am broke cuz believe I will always find means for myself I was once out of job sometime ego but with the little saving I have I made it on my own without disturbing any family members before getting another opportunity.... I feel shy asking favour from friend and family even at work I don't really take a days off unless it's a matter of emergency which my boss know am not that kind of person... That who I am always adapting to any condition on my own teams and am always greatful for the person I am patient and smart.... |
| Re: I Don't Feel Comfortable Asking For Favours, What Could Be The Cause!! by halogate: 4:59pm On May 20, 2021 |
.. interesting. ..well, like u..I used to find it difficult asking for help. I had this believe that I could weather any storm and needed no one's help. Bro,.2020 changed that notion. Got into some dip shit I couldn't solve on my own. Nobody tell me to begin reach out for help. Yes, I was turned down by alot..but with the help of a few others, I was able pull through. No man...I repeat, no man is an island. Keep that in mind. ..for u to risk ur life and sleep under Lagos bridge instead of reaching out to pple who can assist is either high level pride or another level of foolishness. Better pray make u no jam wahala wey pass ur agidi |
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