Are you a learner? Dont be suprised because in marriage or relationship anything can happen BECAUSE THERE IS A THIN LINE BETWEEN TO LOVE AND HATE! from my observation via your write up bros you are too weak and that woman don see you finish and there is absolutely no way she could respect you if you keep presenting yourself that Way, women always love bad bad boys, you need to position her and put her where she belongs proove to her that you are the man and also the head of the house that way she will be craving more for you everyday, that one non mean say you non go treat her right oh, always treat her right and in all you do always use your brain and REMOVE LOVE FROM THE EQUATION because marriage these days marriage na contract so play your card well as a capone make woman non go use you rub ground.

Chief you're in a toxic marriage. If the genders were interchanged and the story was posted here on Nairaland, these misandrists would advise your wife to leave you and claim you are toxic.

Unfortunately your wife has emasculated you and now controls you. Oga, you have been lied to by feminist movement group that they best way to treat a woman is to stay peaceful. I am married and I will tell you - they are liars and they aim to control and suppress men.

Your wife and you have invested over a decade in your marriage and have 3 children. Chief, if you are unaware of your manhood, let me be the first to tell you that your wife's value has diminished. No serious man will consider her seriously other than to have sex with her. Also, you are too predictable for her and in all honesty, she truly regrets marrying you - forget the lies being told she spoke out of anger. She only expressed the truth when the opportunity presented itself.

Finally, you can choose to be emasculated and suffer in your marriage or be a man and put your wife where she belongs - a help mate and not your leader.

This one is still a learner after 10years.... Women can say anything when provoked. Chill out please

ademidedavid:


Its not a matter of being weak or a simp its just appreciating and treating your woman right especially if you are brought up that way.........whats the essence marrying her if you cant make her feel like a queen only that shes feeling like a king in her queen's zone

That is exactly the problem you have caused.
Pamper her and be hot with her when it is necessary too.

Slurity:
I am disappointed that you claim to be a woman and this insensitive statement coming from you, just because you can not say such does not mean you can not do something worse than that from another area of relationship, every man has a unique way to manage their wife and you should respect your husband for managing that your own weak area. For you to even publicly advice another man, someone's husband to stop acting like a child has shown that you too is not perfect and need schooling when it comes to settling misunderstanding in marriage.

Man? U spoke like a child.
A baby infact. The Bible says a child is known by his doings,not age

ademidedavid:


You made me smile after she said those words..........

thanks for this.........but i know it cant work until we both have a one to one talk.

You are good man
Apart from being difficult a times (everyone has a difficult side) has she given you peace throughout the 10 years you have spent with her?
If yes, reconcile with her
That is what it means to be the HEAD, keeping your home in one piece!

Alot of persons encouraging you to go Hard on her are not even married (thanks to anonymity of the forum)
Imagine taking the advice of someone who is is yet to experience what marriage feels like.
Be careful of the advice you heed.

sola12:
U are lucky boss... She is still crazily in luv with u. She is only trying to protect n preserve her territory. Draw her close n give her better piping. Moreso women could be funny at times wen they are angry. Learn to forgive and forget!!!

u are wrong. Horns will begin to grow on her head. OP Shud man up. He shudnt take nonesense from her.

Ur wife controls u .... She dominates. It is wrong. Scold her wen necessary.

Marriage is like a war. You need all your best tricks to outwit your "enemy" -the "better half".
That is why a lot of people fear marriage and choose to stay single.

The greatest lie ever told is that marriage depends on love to survive. No it does not. It depends on RESPECT.
That respect comes from sexual tension that exists between a man and a woman. I don't know how this man may have run that department of this marriage, but the woman's words doesn't sound good at all. For a woman to use those words means that "she don see am finish".
Not good.
Women understand these things naturally, and that is why majority of late divorces (divorces 10 years and above) are initiated by women.
The only men who avoid such late divorces are the men who "know" and took early steps in their marriage to keep their women "in-line".

When a woman wakes up to tell her husband that she regrets marrying him after 10 years and three children, it is already too late for the man. She won't say those words to her side nigga, for obvious reasons.

The only way to save this marriage now is for the man to bite the bullet and shut her out emotionally and, depending on what he really wants, hope that she gets her senses back. It may not work, but doing nothing now is only asking for something worse down the road.
It is a cold phase, but warmth can return if this man finds his balls now.
Sometimes you have to lose something in order to find it.

ademidedavid:


You mincing words man......Ned have more than 3 wifes


his unopenness has led him to such.......

Never ever compare yourself with him please

Yes, Ned Nwoko has three wives aNd maybe he will still have more. But he is HEALTHIER THAN YOU, HE IS HAPPIER THAN YOU AND HE IS IN CHARGE OF HIS HOME.

Op thank you for coming out to share your bothers. Your wife wants to own you completely. She is insecure about everything. I think you gave her too much power , and she's abusing it. Women are emotional beings, who tend to over react at slightest provocation. At this point, they say what they don't mean. Their main reason is to hurt your ego, so that you will feel pain. Pls don't mind her words when she's emotional. She just want to be vindictive. Have a talk with her , and try and resolve things. Let her know she's important. Write sweet things about her on SM, use her pix for dp , women love these things. Take care

sola12:
U are lucky boss... She is still crazily in luv with u. She is only trying to protect n preserve her territory. Draw her close n give her better piping. Moreso women could be funny at times wen they are angry. Learn to forgive and forget!!!

Your response here clearly tells me you are not married

You know nothing about women.

Druss:
No excuse for her to use such words. Draw the line at that. I don't care how angry someone is. Words that are hateful have no place.

Apart from that I can't give you advice on your marriage as every situation is unique and I have no understanding of your situation.

Reading what the OP wrote up there, you are right Sir. No excuse at all for her to use those words.

May God guide you @OP. Please take things easy. All will be well.

pocohantas:


Ask her, she would be in a better position to answer you. Some of us here would say NO, some would say YES. After that we leave you to your troubles and face our lives. Which may be better or worse than yours.





You really love your wife o, you come dey hype am even inside quarrel. E good make man LOVE im wife, that way the burden of keeping the marriage would be on him too. See as you are running around over your wife matter.

May redpillers never see this home and may madam learn to appreciate what she has.

Amin

As usual
Very warped way of thinking
"May redpilled never yen yen"
No worry I no dey shalaye
But see as u skillful evaded the woman just being anyhow
And as long as the man takes the hit.. he's in love shey?
God help us we upcoming ones


I keep saying it sha
Aside religion, I see no need for marriage in this times

Kandeed:
This is hitting you hard because you've been too weak....take it or leave it being to weak on women is a suicide mission.

Read some folks up there saying go to her, pet her bla bla. unfortunately for you OP that's not the language a woman understands. if she said all that, the next thing you should do is not go to her or ask why (you'd only ensure something worse than that is said to you again) let her come herself begging .

Tbh I still don't understand how men find it hard to put women in their place and act manly like true House Heads.

From FTC till here, you're the only reasonable comment, man. I foresee troubles with the OP. He shd let her know that his kindness should not be considered as weakness. How would my wife ask me 1k is missing from my wallet? ... Thats freaking sick and OP has been soooo weak. Be clear cut about your stand, our women likes petting but hates effeminate guys.
Make big issue out of her statement. Call her parents, threaten to send her packing or you would leave the house unless she revoke her statement with numerous apologies and soberness.
That woman will ruin your life if you don't want act smart going forward. Are you her puppet?!

U are in for a dull ride! Shittty fact! Ur wife no dey calm. .interacting should be easy and natural . ..
Love is simply not enough. .it's very important to choose d right life partner and you probably messed up d most important decision of your life . .
Get a secret apartment and go cool off whenever she starts nagging. .

No excuse for her to use such words. Draw the line at that. I don't care how angry someone is. Words that are hateful have no place.

Apart from that I can't give you advice on your marriage as every situation is unique and I have no understanding of your situation.

ademidedavid:
My greetings nairalanders,
I am married for 10years now and blessed woth 3 wonderful kids but my woman is a bit difficult.

To cut the long story short, i went out with a colleague on friday and due to the fact that the kids are on holiday, i took my wife along because she was already raising the roof bout my outing ( NOTE: I have never ever gone out without my family to avoid wife's palava).

On getting there, she complained i was looking at some ladies lustfully which was not at all.......just trying to figure out some important things in my head. After which she complained that i was drunk.....lo and behold i wasnt because i dont take beer, i only take red wine, bullet and spinnorf......which i took a red wine and bullet before leaving the house and also took 3 bottles of spinnorff ( I was never drunk with all of those)

Fast forward to today, i am very open with my finances guess one of my mistakes.........she noticed that a thousand naira (#1000) was missing in my wallet and all means to explain to her proved abortive even though i give her money for things she love like body cream, cloths and others but after all nagging, i was vexed and went to the kids room which i politely asked her to let me be at the moment because i cant withstand her nagging over a thousand naira but she persisted and i have to shut the door against her but she opened it and told me she hates me and regret marrying me.....sounded like the rapture sound initially but later realised it actually came from my woman, my mother of my kids!!!!

i still cant place those words.....could it be out of anger or she actually mean the words for real?

Please help a heartbroken brother.

You have lost your frame bro you seriously need to start building it back and don't talk about finance with your woman never let a woman know your net worth and stop pleasing her.... I wish you the best

crackhaus:
If after 10years of marriage and 3 kids, my wife tells me she hates me and regrets marrying me, I will just start laughing...

Honestly, it calls for laughter.

Bornboy4:
I've heard that severally for well over 25 years since I married and when I gave her a good knack that night she would change her tongue and begin to say, "You are the best love I've ever had..you're like no other!" Then, she would cum!

But mind you, this recipe is not for one-minute men or for short-pricked because you have to reach the bottom and thrill her up till she reaches crescendo. That way you her speaking in tongues and denying the fact that he ever said she regretted marrying you. Ladies who say that are sexy and want to be really loved!

I wish my wife hadn't died in April this year, she would have been my living witness!

What if the lady hates S*x or still nags after the act or worse the kids heard her when she says hateful and spiteful words?


Stick and bones hurt for a while but words hurt a long time after.

crackhaus:
If after 10years of marriage and 3 kids, my wife tells me she hates me and regrets marrying me, I will just start laughing...

Me sef I go laff hard

ademidedavid:


Hmmmmm, move forward after 10years with 3 kids?

This decision will definitely affect my kids which i will not want to do........

Anyways, thanks so much

No mind that one..he na know him blood group

ademidedavid:


.... i was vexed and went to the kids room which i politely asked her to let me be at the moment because i cant withstand her nagging over a thousand naira but she persisted and i have to shut the door against her but she opened it and told me she hates me and regret marrying me.....sounded like the rapture sound initially but later realised it actually came from my woman, my mother of my kids!!!!

I don't care how angry she is, or how hurtful she wants to make you, you need to draw a line, saying something like this in the presence of your children is a NO NO!

You need to show her this can never repeat, and maybe get an hotel for a couple of days, she needs to understand, saying something like that to you when your children are present is a deal breaker.

No man should be disrespected in front of his children, if you let it slide she will do it again until it becomes her habit, at which point your children begin to see you in a different light.

ogbenimax007:
sir cool your mind they are all the same... My wife always tell me she regret marrying me whenever we had misunderstanding but she never 4 once think abt we going our separate ways

Me self wey just dey on my third year for marriage dey collect that kind talk..but I know say NA normsi..and I know say she no fit leave me..

BROWNEMMANUEL26:

Exactly my thought. Op is one of the weak men out their.
1. For his wife to open her mouth and said that word means op forced himself on the woman or op enticed her with money before marrying her.
2. Op over pampered her during their courtship
3. Op tolerated some rubbish from onset
I do t just understand the kind of men we have this day, so so weakling and simps all over

You are not talking like an experienced married man! Beside you might be worse than what you wrote here..NA forum be this..body no be show glass

Harmlesspill:

So you will be all free to be doing your nonsense??

I don't do nonsense

mrblessed:
Why would your wife police you over a mere one thousand naira that did not come from her directly? The picture you painted, from not wanting to take her out, to accusations of being drunk and flirting with your eyes, shows a man who has been thoroughly emasculated, and whom his wife does not have a scintilla of respect for.

The fact that she resumed her toxic behaviour at home is a clear pointer that you have endured rather enjoyed the ten-year marriage. To me, her enunciation of hatred to your person is not a Freudian slip; it's actually what forms her sheer disregard for. It's now too late for you to write this wrong without causing a fundamental injury to your marriage.

I agree with this

Kandeed:


That's why I'll always advice men out there, don't ever put woman in a position where she'll even get to raise voice at you, even if she does her voice should be shaking and the funny thing is you don't have to beat them bfr you bring them to this position..

Someone like me, if I tell my fiancee Sorry she'll really cherish it cuz I'm not the type to always tell her sorry even when I'm wrong but I tell guys sorry very well. Nigerian women are not the type you just pamper anyhow, that's tears inbounding. but I'll rather leave the OP guy, when he too choke him go rescue himself. imagine him taking advice from Ladies on here. very funny

You funny

24brains:
op don't accept this compliment. They seek someone they can control.

Hunku....I don't control people....
What is wrong in someone being understanding abeg

sparko1:


I don't care how angry she is, or how hurtful she wants to make you, you need to draw a line, saying something like this in the presence of your children is a NO NO!

You need to show her this can never repeat, and maybe get an hotel for a couple of days, she needs to understand, saying something like that to you when your children are present is a deal breaker.

No man should be disrespected in front of his children, if you let it slide she will do it again until it becomes her habit, at which point your children begin to see you in a different light.

Sleeping outside might be another disaster.

Althesame, thanks so much for the piece of advice.

Oldmutual:


No mind that one..he na know him blood group

I weak ooo.....because cutting off the head is definitely not the solution to head ache