I thought I was going to d.ie when the relationship I built with one babe for four years crumbled in my face.

We were in second year when we started dating. I loved her, but she loved someone else. I laugh in Korean �.

I knew about the other guy, but I didn't really think she could choose him over me, owing that this guy no just get her time gan!

Make e no be like say I too talk oo, but to be honest, I spent so much on that babe; as my papa get money well well that year, I dey collect times 2 of allowance, just to make sure this babe dey alright.

Na me no get sense sha �.

Shey na after service na him d babe, dey travel in and out of Abj like say tomorrow no dey. All in the name of "my cousin lives there, and he is helping me to look for job."

Shey na dat same cousin she post his wedding picture for Facebook.

*Sips my fearless*

Guess who was the bride. Hahahaha..��. Your guess as as good as mine.

Our own Sonia married her Abuja cousin. I laugh in Chinese. Lol �

Sonia, na dog go bite you and that your cousin for that Una yam leg. Sinners!

That heart break turned me into a regular church boy; I just needed a space to cry out my heart so that nobody go know wetin dey sup.

Pastor go dey preach, I go dey cry.

Choir ministration na so I go kneel down, rest my hand on my head they crew with the loudest voice, dey shout "Sonia why me oooo?". Lol �. Werey like me.

Just today for my timeline, Facebook just pop out one of those motivational quotes when I post that year of grieving, e just be like say make I carry koboko flog myself. My mumu choke me. �

I forgive myself for all the time I wasted in naming our unborn children. Shey by now our first daughter Nora would have been reciting National anthem. Lol �

Agbaya like me �������

This days, when any babe starts professing her undying love for me, the way I look at her: �

The Man named Vladimir Putin

During the Second World War, (a soldier) obtained a leave allowing him to return to his home, and as soon as he reached the street near his house, he saw a parked military truck loaded with corpses and knew that the enemy had bombed his city.

The truck was carrying dozens of dead bodies and was preparing to transport them to a mass grave.

The soldier stood in front of the piled-up corpses to take his last look at them and noticed that a shoe on a (woman's) foot looked like a shoe he had previously bought for his wife.

He went to his house in a hurry to check on her, but he quickly retreated and went back to the truck again to check the body and found his wife!!

After his shock, the soldier did not want his wife to be buried in a mass grave, so he asked to be pulled from the truck in preparation for a proper burial.

During the transfer, it was found that she was still breathing slowly and with difficulty, so he carried her to the hospital, where the necessary first aid was given to her and she regained life again!!

Years after this incident and the end of the war, the wife who was almost buried alive became pregnant and gave birth to a boy named "Vladimir Putin".

He is the current president of Russia!

Don't despise anybody, invest in people when you have the opportunity. Things happens.

#UnderratedContentCreatorsofFacebook

Written by Achoghim Okwu

Few days ago Chelsea was nowhere to be found. For over 12 hours we didn't see the werey, We have concluded it had gotten lost.

We were watching Switzerland/France match in the night when we heard it's cry, opened door and the hediot walked into the house majestically.

See celebration��� Husband man gave it 2 head of fish and a tail. It was like where they are celebrating the return of the prodigal son.

Next morning he said they should feed am with liquid milk, like milk ngara onu a. Chelsea was served with miliki as breakfast.

Today I didn't go shop, just went out to pick some things. Came back and met this m*mu cat sleeping like he got no work to do in this house. Maifren wake up go pursue rat osiso. ����

™
" please leave me alone,I don't want to do it tonight " It echoed
into my building as the lady sob.
I pulled my two pillows closer to myself and used it to cover my
ears. The horrible melody had always been a bane in my neck
every night.
Why marry someone you don't want to sleep with, and cry
about not having sex every night.
If I had slept a day in the room before paying the money for the
rent of the house,I would have canceled renting the apartment.
I've been forced many nights to sleep in my sitting room, lying
uncomfortably on my three sitter and waking up with either a
back pain or neck pain, I've also changed the arrangement of my
bedroom so that my bed is farther from the wall creating a
boundary between their apartment and mine but ,it still proved
useless in keeping the horrible melody away from my ear.
I could have gotten rid of the melody by walking up to them and
tell them that they're always disturbing my goodnight sleep after a
long day at work but I was the shy type and also the type that
love to mind my business.
My resolution was to keep managing it like that for eight months
before I'll try and secure another apartment.
After the wailing of "I'm not doing,please stop doing this, you're
hurting me " ,the next torment to my ear begins when the real sex
start,the lady was always crying and pleading that he should get
off her and the most horrible part of it was that the man doesn't
listen.
I would have called it a rape if not that they're married, the lady
hasn't for once moan since I moved into the apartment. All she
does was wail throughout the sex which always last more than
three hours.
I really felt for her ,even tho I've not for once seen her face. I was
the busy type, always leave for work early in the morning and
wouldn't return until late in the night. Sunday which was
supposed to be my resting day was always spent in church as I
was the churchy type.
I don't know most of my neighbors and I was also sure most of
them doesn't recognize me.
I was the only one aware of what's is going on in the apartment .
The house was built as two self contain closer to themselves
which I was occupying with my dreadful neighbors,while a big
building was built few meters away from it which the rest of the
neighbors occupied.
On the seventh month of putting up with it,I finally found a way
out, a friend of mine wanted to relocate from his house,so I told
him I wanted to rent his place,so as a means to bypass the agent
and unnecessary fees, he asked me to move in with him with few
clothes of mine, so by the time he move out,people would have
recognized the two of us as the main occupant of the apartment.
Two months later he moved out with all his stuffs, TV,DVD,
chairs and all,so I was forced to get my belongings from my
house.
I took a day off from work to do this. On returning to my former
house, I was already getting my stuffs before the caretaker
arrived. I had already called to inform him about me moving out,
so he was there to inspect if I didn't destroy anything in the
house.
Days later,I was still in shock from what I heard from the
caretaker's mouth about my neighbors.
He said and I quote
" so you're also leaving because of the death of your neighbor's
daughter "
" which neighbor " I asked.
" the one living beside you " he replied.
" what" I exclaimed jaw dropped.
" I thought you know that she committed suicide " he replied me
with a perplexed expression.
" what about the wife " I asked.
" He doesn't have a wife,only his daughter".
Bruised Pen

Pls rate my stories and Don't forget to say ur mind,we are humans aren't we

On judgment day, we the lagosian should be given a free pass to
heaven because we've gone through much to be dump in hell fire
again. Living in lagos is a mini hell on its own.
With my first class from Lagos state University {LASU} , I had
gone from different companies in search of job but all of them
always tell me that they'll get back to me but none got back to me.
One day, I even revisited all the companies I submitted my CV , to
go and give them my number again, may be they've lost the one
I attached to letter but I wasn't contacted after doing that.
After months of walking under the scorching sun searching for
job, the day I decided not to go anywhere, I saw my black shoe,
that shoe had suffered in my hand, we've been hunting for job
together without any replacement for it and on Sundays, I'll wear
it to church again . The day I decided to give it rest by not going
to hunt for job, I saw it leaping out of the house trying to run
away, if not for the intervention of my neighbors that helped me
to catch it and chained it down, it would have run away.
So on one faithful day, my friend called me and told me about a
company in need of worker with my qualification. He said I
should get to the company at nine and he was calling me at eight.
I swiftly took my bath and unchained my shoe, I checked my
wallet and saw that I still have two thousand naira and some
change inside it, took my file and head to the bus stop.
According to my friend's description of the address of the
company, I was sure eight hundred naira should be enough for
my tro and fro.
Not to prolong the story, the traffic on the way made me got to
the company few minutes past ten.
It was the gateman that sent me away. Imagine someone
probably with OND sending someone with BSE away. I begged
the fool and explained to him that I was late because of the traffic
but he said he has been instructed not to allow anyone in exactly
on the dot of 9:30 so as not disrupt the ongoing interview.
Heartbroken because of the money I wasted and my bashed
hope, I left the company and was heading to the bus stop to
board a danfo back to my neighborhood, when a guy suddenly
hugged me.
" ha, Michael longest time " he said excitedly as he hugged me.
Michael for where, it's like this one doesn't know what's wrong
with him.
" I think you're mistaken " I said freeing myself from his embrace.
" mistaken as how " he said with a confused expression.
" can't you remember me in Unilag, it's me Lekan oo, your
roommate " he added trying to make me remember him.
" I'm sorry, I didn't even attend Unilag, haven't even step my feet
there before sef " I explained.
" wow, so it's true that we're all created with a doppelganger " he
said staring at me.
" that's right " I said smiling as I was also partially excited that
someone that looked exactly the way I look is out there. Just hope
he's also suffering as I'm suffering.
We both shook hand before he left.
I got to the bus stop and stopped a danfo that's conveying people
to the area I was residing.
I sat down beside a pretty girl inside the bus, she was very
beautiful that I forgot about the disappointment I met with.
She smiled at me and mumu me smiled back at her. She must be
tripping for me, fine guy like me. I decided to shoot my shot.
" hello, I'm Pelumi " I introduced myself to her.
" and I'm Joylin " she replied.
" I think it should be prettylin " I said and she smiled.
" you're funny " she remarked still smiling.
We talked for some minutes before I asked her for her number
and she happily gave me.
She told the conductor that she'll be dropping in her bus stop
which was the next bus stop, took her purse and wanted to open
it.
" don't worry joor, I'll pay it " I said to her smiling but praying in
my mind that she'll reject my offer.
" wow, that's nice of you, thank you " she said smiling.
Is like your head is paining you, common courtesy you don't
have.
" you're welcome " I replied her crying inwardly.
She finally dropped at her bus stop and told the conductor that I'll
be paying her t.fare.
" conductor, how much is her money " I asked the conductor.
" na six hundred naira oo " he replied.
" wetin, na from heaven you carry her " I didn't know when I
started speaking pidgin English.
" oga, no shout for my head, no be me ask you to they form big
boy, you better pay my money before I burst bottle for your
head " he threatened me.
Bottle biti bawo, brother conductor, someone cannot even play
with you.
" no they reason me like that, did I tell you that I won't pay you " I
said calming down. Lagos state conductor can be funny, but
Joylin, it's thunder that will locate you.
" Oga my money " the conductor demanded.
" alaye calm down joor, I sha never reach my bus stop " I said
trying to form lagosian too.
As we got to the last bus stop before my own, I decided to pay.
My own fee was four hundred naira plus Joylin's six hundred
naira, it totaled one k.
I deeped my hand into my back pocket where I normally put my
wallet and lo and behold, my wallet has disappeared. Trying hard
not to panic, I inserted my hand into the next pocket and it wasn't
there too. My wallet had developed legs and run away.
I started sweating as I checked the other pockets attached to my
trouser and my wallet was nowhere to be found.
I remembered Lekan at once.
Haa, brother Lekan, what have I done to deserve this. This is
unfair oo. If my phone was inside my pocket, he would have
taken it too.
The conductor on noticing my mood started smiling. He must
have grabbed what was happening.
" oga, where my money ' he asked me.
I became humbled at once. If anyone had slapped my right side
cheek at that moment, I would happily turn the left.
" brother conductor " I said amazed at how my voice could be
low at that moment.
The bus wasn't fill with passenger again as almost everyone had
alighted.
" alaye, where my money " the conductor barked at me.
To summarize what happened, the driver asked the conductor to
take the rest of day off because he isn't fully healthy and I was
asked to replace him.
The driver seized my certificate and my shirt, I was lucky to be
wearing singlet.
That was how I turned to educated conductor as I worked for the
driver till it was nighttime.
After I was later freed, the driver was even nice to give me five
hundred naira and dropped me at my bus stop.
I thought my travail wasn't that bad because I got Joylin number.
I bought two hundred naira recharge card on my way home and
dialed Joylin's number.
A girl with pretty voice picked the call and told me.
" THE NUMBER YOU'RE TRYING TO CALL DOES NOT EXIST,
PLEASE CHECK THE NUMBER AND TRY AGAIN "
" ahhh " I exclaimed knowing that I was dupe.
Joylin, as the number you gave me doesn't exist, that's how you'll
cease to exist when we meet again.
The end.
© Horluwa~p1 2020
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