*7 YEAR OLD WIFE*

MEMOIRS FROM PASTOR EMMANUEL'S OFFICE

After seeing the 129 missed calls from Professor Beggi, I knew my long awaited dinner must be postponed. He must be in grave danger to have called me 129 times in 30 minutes

I tried calling him back, but his line was busy. I decided to eat because my wife made me promise her I will eat. I had just eaten 1 spoon when we heard the banging on the gate. Prof was here.

When he came in, he was sweating profusely and out of breath. He actually walked all the way to our house.

"What happened prof?" I asked him

Please pastor, I will need you to accompany me pronto to execute a deliverance for my domiciled companion cum helpmeet due to the fact that she is inadvertently exhibiting symptoms of acute or chronic neurosis, psychosis
instability, irrationality, unreasonableness
delirium, frenzy, hysteria
hallucinosis, hypomania, paranoia, schizophrenia
senile dementia
delusion, hallucination
monomania, obsession, phobia
abnormality, dementedness, unsoundne.....

PROFESSOR!!!!!!

My wife and I chorused so as to stop the grammar bomb. It is a known fact that whenever the Prof is agitated, he speaks complicated grammar.

My wife led the prof to a seat to calm his nerves.

Then I asked him again "please prof, in very simple English can you tell me what happened"

"My own is finished", he replied. "My wife is suddenly acting like a mad woman"

We decided to drive the prof home to visit the wife and pray along with them.

When we got to the house, the wife seems normal. We exchanged pleasantries and she responded normal.

She led us to the living room and told us she wanted to get us bottles of water. Their 7 year old daughter was in the living playing with toys.

I gave a sign to the prof asking, how far, I can't see anything wrong with your wife.

The prof told us to please wait a while.

Prof's wife came back from the kitchen, served us with water. Then she sat on floor, right beside her daughter, playing with toys and talking like a 7 year old girl.

This woman, acting like a 7 year old girl is actually a senior director with the Lagos State government. She is also a board member of a high ranking agency with the federal government

The prof signalled to me to do something

I was about to rise up and bind the spirit of madness when I heard the Holy Spirit telling me not to pray but to speak to her.

I faced her, "madam I put it to you that you are mentally sound"

"Yes sir, I'm ok" she responded

"Can you sit up ma". I asked her

"Yes sir", she replied and sat on the chair. She lovingly requested her daughter to go into her room.

Prof was dumbfounded.

"Can you explain to me why you are acting the way you did ma"

She pointed to her husband, "prof forced me to become this"

Prof wanted to respond but my wife signalled to him to be quiet.

"please explain more ma" I prompted her

She continued, I was enjoying my marriage of 8 years while waiting for the fruit of the womb, after 8 years God gave us Arike. Right after that time, my husband, shifted all his attention to our daughter.

Everything I do tends to irritate him but anything Arike does is ok.

If I speak to him, he will say I am disrespectful but if Arike asks him to kneel down, he would joyfully take his punishment from her.

He buys different things for her, takes her out on dates and spends time with her. I can't remember the last time he took me out.

So I decided that, if acting like a child is the only way to my husband's heart, then I will become the same age with my daughter so that he can act as a father to both of us.

Of recent prof started calling Arike his small wife, so I decided to also become the 7 year old bride of the professor.

Hmmmm

We turned to the professor, "what do you have to say sir?"

He shook his head, I guess he was too taken aback for words.

I told them, this is the issue with a lot of couples, we allow our differences create gaps between us and over the years, this gap widens. We stop being friends and love birds, we become formal house mates.

Instead of being friends, these gaps turn us to daddy and mummy, husband and wife.

Sometimes we try to fill the gaps with our children but children will soon leave us and the gaps become too wide.

We need to assure our partners that they hold the highest space in our lives and we need to do that more often.

Prof, though your wife might have hurt you in the past and you have decided to treat her officially as a wife and no more as a friend or confidante, she had gone to the extreme by trying to be a baby just to win back your affection.

Can you forgive all the past issues and work at being best friends again?

Prof still didn't say anything, he only asked me to pray for them. I did and we left.

When we got home, I decided to feed my wife just like we used to do many years before. We also had our bath together. I had missed those our naughty playfulness. We decided to ensure we play together henceforth.

On Sunday, Arike the daughter of the prof was the first to enter my office before service. She was frowning.

Why did you tell my daddy to love my mummy more than me? She asked me sternly

Apparently, she was previously happy that she had monopoly of her father's attention, but after we left prof corrected his error and became more tolerant and playful with his wife.

At the 18th year wedding anniversary of prof and his wife, Arike gave a speech where she stated that she would want to have a marriage as good as that of her dad and mum.

Proverbs 18:22 JFMV
*A man who has been led by God to locate his missing rib “His own wife” has located the real goodness of his life and he is now positioned to obtain the favor that God had destined for him from the day he was formed.*

Femi Oluyamoju
JokeFemioluyamoju Marital Foundation