Hello ,


I' m asking on behalf of someone.
She had a child for her Ex- Husband ,There was no Court/Registry Marriage between them, They had an irreconciliatory issues so they parted .

She already went to have a Peace talk with the ex- Husband's family on who to take the custody of the child between them ,The ex Husband and Family agreed the woman should take Custody since the child is not yet well grown .

She is already with another man ,they have two children now.

She wants to know, is there any step to take to have a Solid written Documents to show that they are not together anymore so that the ex does not come back in the future making a claim to her..

Remember there was no Court/Registry Marriage

Thanks for your comments

Did I miss a thing?

I thought you just concluded the lady's keeping the child was mutual and consented to?

Hello?


If she wanted to claim the child so deep, let the child bear her surname, and registered with it.

The child will definitely choose later...and the mother has the biggest win.

Nobody has the right to deny another person any right to his Child... Rubbish

seproperties:
Hello ,
I' m asking on behalf of someone.
She had a child for her Ex- Husband ,There was no Court/Registry Marriage between them, They had an irreconciliatory issues so they parted .

She already went to have a with the ex- Husband's family on who to take the custody of the child between them ,The ex Husband and Family agreed the woman should take Custody since the child is not yet well grown .

She already have another man ,they have two children now.

She wants to know is there any step to take to have a Solid written Documents to show that they are not together anymore so that the ex does nit come back in the future making a claim to her..

Remember there was no Court/Registry Marriage

Thanks for your comments

If he does not pay for the child's upkeep, I doubt he can legally show up to claim the child. But she can get a signed and notarized statement from the man forfeiting his right to the child, if she wants to.

But she has no way of stopping the child from wanting to discover it's father when it is able to .

Honestly, there is no need to be worried. The ex has no document also. So live your life. If the new husband is aware of everything and doesn't discriminate against his children from her child. I think there is no cause for alarm.
If the child becomes an adult he will find his father, only if he isn't aware.
Peace!

DaddyRochie1642:
Nobody has the right to deny another person any right to his Child... Rubbish

. You don't seems to read the Content can you go over and read ... it's not about child denial ...The man already agreed d child should be with the woman ...Pls go read thank u

Kobojunkie:
If he does not pay for the child's upkeep, I doubt he can legally show up to claim the child. But she can get a signed and notarized statement from the man forfeiting his right to the child, if she wants to.

But she has no way of stopping the child from wanting to discover it's father when it is able to .

Go read well please

seproperties:
Go read well please

I don't understand.

Is the concern not of the man returning to claim the child?

Questions and advise is not about Child's custody at all its about " Is there any Documents to Sign to Make the Break-up Official so the man does not comes in the Future saying the Woman is His Wife ... Remember there is no Court Marriage ,Just Pastor Alfa Prayer in the Mosque and Reception they had then .

Kobojunkie:
I don't understand.

Is the concern not of the man returning to claim the child?

. Claim the Woman

seproperties:
. You don't seems to read the Content can you go over and read ... it's not about child denial ...The man already agreed d child should be with the woman ...Pls go read thank u

What a condescending response. If he doesn't understand can you not explain better? And you want people to give contributions seeing the way you've responded to those earlier posters? Pathetic.

seproperties:
Questions and advise is not about Child's custody at all its about " Is there any Documents to Sign to Make the Break-up Official so the man does not comes in the Future saying the Woman is His Wife ... Remember there is no Court Marriage ,Just Pastor Alfa Prayer in the Mosque and Reception they had then .

Have they been through the rites for divorce at the mosque then?

She should be able to file divorce papers through the courts though since the state recognizes various forms of marriage.

Custody belongs to the man by default in Nigeria after 5 years old or so. Other than that, the court will have to decide on shared or full custody of the child. The child is his and hers whether they were married or not. Welcome to shared custody-hood

Y'all don't couldn't comprehend a short write-up? The main person is the woman not the child.

Now back to the story, the ex can't claim the woman since there's no legal document binding their union. She can go ahead with the new man.

Though depending on the tribe but the one I know is that If bride price was paid by the ex-husband and refunded by the woman's family when the union ended, the ex-husband ceases to lay claim to her as his wife....the marriage has ended.

seproperties:
Questions and advise is not about Child's custody at all its about " Is there any Documents to Sign to Make the Break-up Official so the man does not comes in the Future saying the Woman is His Wife ... Remember there is no Court Marriage ,Just Pastor Alfa Prayer in the Mosque and Reception they had then .

Was her bride price paid by her ex??
That is the more important than court or church wedding. If her bride price was paid, her people must return it to her ex before she can marry another man.

For muslims, once tge husband mention: i divorce you *3 that is three times. Then it is final. Until she remarries a new husband and the new husband divorces her before she can marry the old husband. And for Christians, go straight to the court and get the right documents for future reference. Even muslims can go to court to especially when the man is strong headed.

greenie77:
Though depending on the tribe but the one I know is that If bride price was paid by the ex-husband and refunded by the woman's family when the union ended, the ex-husband ceases to lay claim to her as his wife....the marriage has ended.

Exactly!
Her people must return her bride price to her ex if it was paid.

greenie77:
Though depending on the tribe but the one I know is that If bride price was paid by the ex-husband and refunded by the woman's family when the union ended, the ex-husband ceases to lay claim to her as his wife....the marriage has ended.

Return which bride price? what if he was the one who disvirgined her? Can he return that?

mardis:
For muslims, once tge husband mention: i divorce you *3 that is three times. Then it is final. Until she remarries a new husband and the new husband divorces her before she can marry the old husband. And for Christians, go straight to the court and get the right documents for future reference. Even muslims can go to court to especially when the man is strong headed.

I don't know about Muslim, but for Christian, u can't proceed with church wedding without first completing traditional. Bride price is the main thing, the bride price must be returned along with the divorce proceedings.

mardis:


Return which bride price? what if he was the one who disvirgined her? Can he return that?

Whether disvrigined or not, the bride price is usually refunded. It has nothing to do with her virginity. Where I come from, a father cannot marry her daughter to another man without first returning the bride price to her ex, so long he is still alive.

mardis:


Return which bride price? what if he was the one who disvirgined her? Can he return that?

Even if he disvirgined her, should she be tied to him for life if the marriage is toxic?

Returning of bride price is symbolic as it traditionally severes the woman from her ex-husband and she is free to re-marry, so that's how one gets divorce traditionally.

I know a woman whose ex-husband was refunded the N135 (One hundred and thirty-five naira) that was collected from him as bride price by the woman's family after 3 years of marriage which produced no child. Both have gone ahead to re-marry and have children with their spouses.

mrsteel:

Was her bride price paid by her ex??
That is the more important than court or church wedding. If her bride price was paid, her people must return it to her ex before she can marry another man.

Please don't say this outside Nairaland. Don't say this at the Embassy, don't say this outside the shores of Nigeria or in a congregation of well travelled men and women.

That certificate at the registry invalidates whatever it is you spent on aso ebi, dry gin, tubers of yam, goats, etc. Remember, Registrars do not need to know whether you have paid bride price before issuing that certificate. They don't want to know. It's not their business. A list of two witnesses, your willingness to take oaths, your birth certificate and two passports are the legal requirements for marriage in Nigeria. Na you like wahala oo if you decide to invite the whole world or buy 300 cows for your wedding. The person with the certificate na im get wife/husband

If the so called ex husband has that certificate, even without paying any bride price, he would claim the woman in any court around the world.

Acidosis:


Please don't say this outside Nairaland. Don't say this at the Embassy, don't say this outside the shores of Nigeria or in a congregation of well travelled men and women.

That certificate at the registry invalidates whatever it is you spent on aso ebi, dry gin, tubers of yam, goats, etc. Remember, Registrars do not need to know whether you have paid bride price before issuing that certificate. They don't want to know. It's not their business. A list of two witnesses, your willingness to take oaths, your birth certificate and two passports are the legal requirements for marriage in Nigeria. Na you like wahala oo if you decide to invite the whole world or buy 300 cows for your wedding. The person with the certificate na im get wife/husband

If the so called ex husband has that certificate, even without paying any bride price, he would claim the woman in any court around the world.

This is the problem with u people!!!!
Always rushing to quote someone senselessly!
When I said bride price, do u think I was referring to money spent on yam, goat or whatever?? If where u come from, a registry certificate is enough for your parents to marry out your sisters & wed in a church without your in-laws paying her bride price, then fine!
Most part of Nigeria, if not all part sef, a woman's family do not recognize a man as their Daughter's husband if he is yet to pay her bride price.

greenie77:


Even if he disvirgined her, should she be tied to him for life if the marriage is toxic?

Retutning of bride price is symbolic as it traditionally severes the woman from her ex-husband and she is free to re-marry, so that's how one gets divorce traditionally.

I know a woman whose ex-husband was refunded the N135 (One hundred and thirty-five naira) that was collected from him as bride price by the woman's family after 3 years of marriage which produced no child. Both have gone ahead to re-marry and have children with their spouses.

Thank u!
@ Acidosis
The bold is referred to as bride price, not the drinks, aseobi or whatever. It is symbolic & represent a lot in most part of Nigeria. If as little as that N135 is not paid, there is no way that woman's family will recognize that man as their in-law.

mrsteel:

This is the problem with u people!!!!
Always rushing to quote someone senselessly!
When I said bride price, do u think I was referring to money spent on yam, goat or whatever?? If where u come from, a registry certificate is enough for your parents to marry out your sisters & wed in a church without your in-laws paying her bride price, then fine!
Most part of Nigeria, if not all part sef, a woman's family do not recognize a man as their Daughter's husband if he is yet to pay her bride price.

Relax. We all paid bride price. The argument is not whether bride price should be paid or not. Thee point is if this woman's ex husband decides to come back for her with a marriage certificate, he would get her 100% and make sure she does not marry another, whether or not bride price was refunded.

As per the bride price, you're only speaking from the tradition point of view. When wahala burst, traditions always take a back seat.

mrsteel:

Whether disvrigined or not, the bride price is usually refunded. It has nothing to do with her virginity. Where I come from, a father cannot marry her daughter to another man without first returning the bride price to her ex, so long he is still alive.

Since it is traditional to return the bride price, then it has to be done. Where i come from there is nothing like that. I am just knowing this

If u like send the boy to the best school without his father's input,his step dad cannot lay claim to that child.

Even if he did not marry u nor pay ur bribe price,he is still the father of that child any time,any day.

It is only time that will tell.

Be careful,I can see u want to play smart.

Acidosis:



Relax. We all paid bride price. The argument is not whether bride price should be paid or not, the point is if this woman's ex husband decides to come back for her with a marriage certificate, he would get her 100% and make sure she does not marry another, whether or not bride price was paid.

As per the bride price, you're only speaking from the tradition point of view. When wahala burst, traditions always take a back seat.

Can they get a marriage certificate without traditional?? No be court & church dey issue certificate?
In Nigeria, traditional give birth to church & court wedding. No be UK we dey!
I made reference to her bride price because the op stated she is now living with a man. Can the new husband marry her without the approval of some of her kinsmen? When it comes to wedding in this part of the world, u must pass through traditional before u can get to court or church?? Your people must approve your Union in traditional where the bride price will be paid, which will give permission to court or church. I know most cultures & traditions here do return bride price, which is usually a small amount before proceeding with a new marriage, which I was trying to tell the op, so what are u saying?

mardis:


Since it is traditional to return the bride price, then it has to be done. Where i come from there is nothing like that. I am just knowing this

Where are u from?
It is possible u may not know this if someone close has not gone through a divorce process.
Most places in Nigeria, them dey return bride price o. The bride price is not the goats, drinks or food the man bought, but the small amount of money placed on their daughter's head, most times it may even be less than N100. The people of the girl will return that money to the man before marrying her to another man. All the divorce cases I have experienced are usually like that.

Thanks to you all..She told me that the ex Husband did not pay any bride price in money form ...They did not Also go to Court/Registry..

seproperties:
Thanks to you all..She told me that the ex Husband did not pay any bride price in money form ...They did not Also go to Court/Registry..

Your friend has nothing to worry about.
They were just on a boyfriend & girlfriend level
So long as he didn't pay her bride price, nothing is binding them.