[8/30, 11:29] Miclil: The morning shine so bright wonderful enough I should be thankful that been alive heal healthy, hardly get sick. So why? All this quality many had hope wish pray for, I had them all for free, oh yes! I always pray in my own layman way, psalm 103 is my favorite Bible passage. The Lord God is real I have this Faith and sometimes I wonder why it seems God refused to answer some of my intense prayers like, getting means to travel out of this cruel country and never come back, to have a financial resources that would be sufficient enough, help the poor and the less privilege in the same breath as myself also as a less privilege, poor and lonely after all No real family to call my own in few occasions the thought would hit me why? Why did everyone seems not to care whether I live or Die, Partoranking song comes to mind "celebrate me when I dey alive no be say if I leave this world you go dey fake am for my back" he did hit the nail on the head, it the realities of world of today, everyone seems to be doing a lot of that lately they did pretend to loved and cared for you when you are dead not when you are alive and actually needs those loves and care. So for me I wish, hoped that the silent death that usually take people at night usually when they sleep would take me too...
The country had failed us all we become vulnerable, poor and needy in our own land where we should feel safe, secure, proud and protected well, In realities I'm not alone in this thought of Death many had not the courage to continued living, suicide was optional to them not for me because I didn't give myself this life why should I take? I had not the will not the right to take my own life let God take it whenever he so please, The Lord knows my conditions, he brought me into this world , I know not when I was born neither do I have the right to know when I would leave but I hope soon. There is nothing left no one would miss me at least that's what I think in a world where I feel so lonely and left behind. We (#Endsarsprotesters) sometimes took it upon ourselves to make a change happen but it never end well for most of us at lekki toll gate, they (Government) painted the ground with blood of the real patriotic citizens of the Nation, they paid the ultimate price that unfaithful day. I was there I witnessed the whole scene still wonder how I was unscathed, how did those evil bullets missed me out of all the chaotic scene where everyone was tried to ran in order to escape, they were met with thundering bullet... in my mind I'm dead already, I gave up, I had already made peace with myself at least I would have died for a just cause yet, here I'm alive. please don't call it miracle because I had not prayed for such, it should have been a glorious death for me though many might not even know or remember neither will I be celebrated.
It was recorded in the Bible 'the dead is better than the living because the living know not what will become of them. For most of us who had not witnessed death we like to think about it as a peaceful afterlife where all our struggle, poverty, suffering and trials will no more exist, We would rest in peace without worry of tomorrow, today or what the future holds for us, it an interesting thought, one that gave us hope, yes! death gave us hope because in reality we know not what afterlife holds for us all, so we desire to be hopeful, ever wonder why people took their own life even when they had no idea what await them, in their thought they become optimistic about death, they see it as a way out, way out of a cruel world not that God created the world to be as cruel and evil as it is but human fashion out the exact opposite of what God had in mind, Lol... I don't know God mind still lets think about everything, God is merciful, kind and a great provider before God created man he had created all he would need- shelter, clothes, food and drinks they are all available at his finger tip, we all read or heard the Bible and Qur'an accounts of this, both holy book as people prefer to call it agreed on the same information, history about life though science might not agrees with that as it had it's own theory about the evolution of man, so if God created a beautiful world chances are he had made a more beautiful home for us afterlife, now the criteria to getting to that imagined world is up for debates, will we be judge or can we(Nigerians) get a free pass because we had been through enough already, as a Nigerian isn't that enough punishment already what greater form of condemnation should someone from a country like Nigeria expect that he/she had not been through already, poverty is the only sin Nigeria's law recognized if you are rich you can certainly do no wrong...we that are poor and had on one are made to suffer the sin of the Rich, been poor thus we become vulnerable, So would God give Us a pass? That remain to be seen...
Everywhere I look seems messed up in this whole Country! For doing the right thing I was locked up in prison for thirteen days, hell! It felt like 13years. You may ask why? The place is the most worse place here on earth at least that I had experienced due to numerous reasons to mention a few, then we literally eat poisoned food,sleep in bare floor and pact together like sardine. How human being with blood in their veins were treated like animals even worse than animals, there are no adjective to better qualify how terrible that place is, "Criminals" We were all tag funny enough most of us are innocent of the crime they label on Us. Trust me I had not been to hell if it does exist but I had seen most of hell here on earth already, I had manage the unmanageable, imagined the impossible and witnessed the most cruelty that Man, Nigeria and the world at large had to offer, we abandoned each other, turn on ourselves and fight, it become survivals of the fittest, is that what the world is all about? Oh no! I gave up hope. If death refused to come definitely it will be necessary for me to seek for courage to keep on living and be sure I will take no part in evil none will I seek to become rich unjustly, I will be a better human, probably the world will notice and changed her evil and unjust ways to uphold freedom, Justice and peace to everyone. Putting myself out there is the only thing that gives me Joy, knowing I could be useful, knowing I could put smile on someone's else face and that through me someone could be happy, it enough reward. I will certainly not stop hoping for death I had made peace with everything, I hold nothing against anyone and surely don't blame anything for me struggles if I had been privileged would I have complain? Of course not.
Please dear readers I will like to be remembered as Miclil Song though my real given names are Samuel Olayemi Michael. Special thanks to all Nairalanders you are all impactful people... Death I'm waiting.... Thanks!

Christ love you

Keep breathing

waleco2008:
Christ love you

I know...but that never makes anything eàsy

Goldbw122:
Keep breathing

Yeah Until ...